That night Jude kept tossing and turning in a bed that she had slept in so many times. She still couldn't wrap her head around feeling so close to Tommy but yet so far away. True she was sleeping in the guest room right across the hall from Tommy's bedroom, she could hear his soothing breaths as he was in a deep slumber dreaming about things Jude could only wish about. She couldn't take it anymore, was he on medication she thought, because how can one moment he be so angry with her and yet open his house up to her, like tonight's events never happened. The she smirked he's good at playing that game.
Finally after tossing and turning for another half an hour she got out of bed and walked quietly into the living room and sat down on the couch that Tommy had played his song on a few hours before and she noticed the acoustic and picked up in her hands and she again let the guitar play her. She let everything out in this one song. Not caring who listened she just thought it was her and Tommy's guitar alone in the early morning.
"How Does it Feel" Avril Lavigne
"I'm not afraid of anything
I just need to know that I can breath
And I don't need much of anything
But suddenly, suddenly
I am small and the world is big
All around me is fast moving
Surrounded by so many things
Suddenly, suddenly
How does it feel
To be different from me
Are we the same
How does it feel
To be different from me
Are we the same
How does it feel
I am young
And I am free
But I get tired and I get weak
I get lost and I can't sleep
But suddenly, suddenly
How does it feel
To be different from me
Are we the same
How does it feel
To be different from me
Are we the same
How does it feel
Would you comfort me
Would you cry with me
I am small
And the world is big
But I'm not afraid of anything
How does it feel
To be different from me
Are we the same
How does it feel
To be different from me
Are we the same
How does it feel
How does it feel
To be different from me
Are we the same
How does it feel
To be different from me
Are we the same
How does it feel
Oh. Oh, oh
How does it feel
How does it feel
You're different from me
Different
How does it feel
How does it feel
You're different from me
Different"
When Jude began to strum the guitar Tommy was awaken. Jude always knew he was a light sleepier but tonight it must have slipped her mind. He listened to the first verse then the chorus and decide that he would get a better listen if he went out into the living room and watched her sing, like he did so many times in the studio. He quietly pulled himself out of his bed making sure not to make any noise that would distract Jude from her singing he pulled on some plaid pj bottoms over his boxers and pulled on a white wife-beater, and made his journey quietly into the living room to where Jude was.
After Jude has finished her song she sat there with her eyes closed in the dark, soaking in what the song really meant. When she heard the wooden floor boards squeak and Tommy curse under his breathe, did she open her eyes and look up at him. She had some many emotions just in her eyes alone that would make Tommy melt, but he had to keep his strong front up, he didn't want tonight to be the night he gave himself to Jude, mind, body, and soul. It was to late, because he felt himself being pulled over to her and in one swift motion his grabbed her hand and pulled her up so that her body was touching his. Breathless they both stood there soaking in the atmosphere not daring to break apart from each other.
"Tommy, I'm so sorry, I never meant to leave you or break your heart" Jude said as tears threatened to leave her eyes.
"Jude that doesn't matter, all that matters is that you're here, with me. I wouldn't want it any other way." Tommy said brushing the back of his hand against her cheek and wiping away the tears.
"But, how can you forgive me? I heard all the songs, they all say the same thing, that you're hurting because me. Because I left, you. How can you ever forgive me?" Jude said while more tears spilled down, trying to keep her composer, eventhough she was wearing one of Tommy's oversize t-shirts.
"Because Jude, I " He takes a deep breath the next words come out in a whisper as if they're only meant for Jude to hear. "I love you and I need you , and for that I will forgive you for anything that you have and will do to me"
"I can't Tommy don't do this to me" Jude pleaded and begged, not ready to hear him say that to her
"What, you can't what Jude? I just told you how I felt and you ask me not to do this to you, what exactly am I doing to you?" Tommy asked holding her in his arms so she couldn't move as she was trying to do.
"I can't let you in again, You'll hurt me again, or I'll hurt you, I'm not ready to tell you this." Jude said while her legs were giving out and she was sinking to the floor.
"Tell me what Jude, just say it, say it please, Jude say it." Tommy pleaded this time as he bent down with her
"I'm in love with you" She said looking into his eyes, seeing the relief and joy Jude couldn't help but sigh.
"You're what?" Tommy said astonished, He's waited so long to her say that and mean it. Of course she'd said it before but only through her songs.
"I-I-Love you, Tommy, I always have, and I always will." Jude said again with more passion and certainty in her voice.
"Thank God" He with that he pulled her to him lips meeting lips, hands entangling with each other. "I love you too, Jude it's been you and will always only be you."
Tears started to leave her eyes again as Tommy felt them on his lips, he broke away from her again and said in a soothing voice.
"Hey, Why are you crying?" taking his free hand and brushing the tears away.
"I'm just so happy, I haven't felt this way in a long time, since the day we." her words escaped, when was the last time she truly felt happy.
"Since the first time you stayed at my house." Tommy said knowing he was right, because Jude slowly nodded her heard at him smiled.
"I remember that night, we stayed up watching movies, eating Chinese food and then stuffing our faces with popcorn. I was so sick the next day at the studio."
"Yeah I had to explain to G, why her top artist was running out of the studio every ten minutes to the bathroom." Tommy chuckled remembering the night and morning clearly.
"Hey, it was your fault I said we should get some sleep but Noo, Lil' Tommy Q wanted to watch"
"Don't say it Jude, you promise not to ever bring up that movie again." Tommy said threatening
"You wanted to watch Save the Last Dance Tommy, you wanted to watch a chick flick and you liked it" Jude said as she got up quickly and made her way down the hallway, but Tommy was quicker he was right behind her and grabbed her around the waist and lifted her in the air, as she started to squeal.
"Tommy put me down, you know I'm afraid of heights, Tommy Please"
"No you promised, you swore you'd never bring up that movie ever again." still holding her over his shoulder.
"Oh you want to play hard ball don't you Quincy" Jude said as she took her free hands and started to tickle Tommy in the ribs, causing him to lose some of his balance so he quickly moved himself and Jude to the closet bedroom so he could toss her on the bed.
"Hey, Ouch. What was that for?" Jude said rubbing her butt
"That was for a) bringing up the movie that shall not be named ever again and b) tickling me" Tommy said with his million dollar smile.
"No, I think it was because" Jude started to look around realizing that they were in Tommy's bedroom "You just wanted me in your bed." Smiling at Tommy's sudden shyness and embarrassment.
"That too" He smiled then he started walking closer to Jude and put his hand on her cheek and lightly brushed his lips against her other one, getting the reaction he wanted.
As Jude held her breathe as Tommy passionately kissed her cheeks then neck, forehead, her jaw line, Jude began to rake her hand through his hair.
"How did I stay alive without being with you like this for the past year?" Jude asked between panted breathes.
"I don't know because I was just thinking the same thing." Tommy replied pulling away from her neck and looking at her straight in the eyes, when Jude made the first move and captured his lips with hers.
As they kissed the need for more was right up their with their love for each other, Jude's hands made their way down to the seams of Tommy's wife beater and tugged it up over his head. Tommy pulled away and stared at her, giving her a knowing smile, and he began to take off the oversized t-shirt leaving her in her black bra and her boy shorts saying "I'm a rock star" Jude blushed and Tommy smirked. He then started to kiss a trail down from Jude's cheek to her belly button causing Jude to giggle in pleasure, when he felt himself being tugged back up to where Jude's head was, once again being captured in another passion filled kiss. When Jude pulled away breathless and stared at Tommy, and Tommy staring back at her confused with his hair mused all over the place.
"You Stopped" Tommy said while taking gulps of air.
"I know" Jude said mentally kicking herself for ruining the passion between them and feeling cold because of Tommy's body being so far away from her.
"Why did you stop?" Tommy said afraid he was doing something wrong.
"It's my first night back Tommy and I don't want us to be together like this." Jude said hoping Tommy for to understand.
"You're right, we should umm be fully ready when we take this next step right?"
"Right, because it's going to be my first time and I'm not sure if I won't it to be when I'm so confused with everything." Jude said searching for her t-shirt when Tommy's hands stopped her.
"Confused about what Jude, hopefully not about how we feel about each other."
"NO, not about that, just about coming home and facing the music once again."
"Hey, Jude come here" He pulled her body over to him bra and all Jude felt herself become relaxed and calm in the warmth of Tommy's body against her. Hands touching skin, Tommy spoke. "everything will be alright, what Jamie said to you tonight was inappropriate and stupid, you shouldn't beat yourself up over it."
"Ok, if you say so" Jude said snuggling closer to Tommy and giving him a kiss on his cheek.
"Jude, don't" Tommy said trying to maintain control once again
"Don't what?" Jude said smiling innocently, after what just happened a few minutes ago she knew Tommy's composer was about to go out the window just like hers, screw what she said three minutes ago about not wanting it now, she was ready and she knew that the only person she wanted to be with was going to be her first and hopefully her last.
"Don't kiss me on the cheek after well you know what just happened seconds ago"
"What happened seconds ago, Tommy" Jude said as she started trailing kisses from his cheek to his ear and sucking on it slightly getting a small groan from him and then making her way down to his neck.
"You….You said, that you weren't ready, not now….Oh Screw it" Tommy's composer flew out the window when he grabbed Jude and pinned her to the bed and started to kiss her while she giggled at his abrupt movements. Then she started to equally kiss him back meeting his passion with her own, Her hands started to move down to his drawstring pj bottoms and slid them down and off carefully with help from Tommy, leaving him in his boxer and Jude in her underwear. The broke apart needing air.
"Are you….Sure….You….want …To do this… I mean we can stop…if you want to" Tommy said painting with as much breath he had left.
"I'm sure I love you and I'm ready, I only want to be with you and I want you to be my ….." Jude was cut off again by Tommy kissing her.
Tommy and Jude both pull apart once again breathless but with smiles plastered on their faces. Jude was afraid how he was gonna take her next move but just like he did she just followed her heart she slowly rolled over so she was on top. still not breaking the kiss she straddled over him. removing his hands from her back she intertwined there fingers bringing them over his head. She leaned forward kissing him on the lips then his neck then back up to his lips. Tommy flipped Jude over while her legs were still wrapped around him. He kissed her ever so gently. A few moments later Tommy was undoing Jude's bra. As Jude began to tug at the last article of clothing Tommy got up off of her and went into the bedroom leaving Jude confused and pulling the covers over her body to keep herself warm.
"Tommy?" Jude asked trying to peer into the bathroom
"Just a minute I'm looking for something, I didn't mean to ruin what we were doing, but if I don't grab this we might end up with that 3 chance."
Jude thought about it for a moment, OH he's getting a condom
"Oh, ok well hurry I'm getting cold" She said while letting herself relax in Tommy's Indigo blue sheets and pulling the big puffy white comforter over her body.
As Tommy walked back from the bathroom he smiled to himself to see Jude in his bed, where he has wanted her to be for the last year and now he finally has her and he's never going to give her and if he does he'll die fighting. Tommy slipped back into bed putting the condom on the nightstand and drew Jude into a passionate kiss begging his tongue to enter as he lustfully licked her lips. Jude opened her mouth slightly to let his tongue wander with her own and his hands started to touch places he only dreamed of. The night's events went the way neither of them had expected, but they both ended up feeling safe and in love in each other's arm, making a new chapter in their lives.
So there you have it my loves. Hope you like it, if you did reply if you didn't well then maybe this story isn't for you. Just kidding I'll take what I can get.
Jess