Whoa…it's been ages. Really AGES. Of course, I have school (bleh) and my friends on my mind, so there's kind of an excuse. Oh yeah, here's a little misc. doodad, inspired by Chuquita:

The Char. Corner, hosted by Godell, Bartimaus, Farquarl, and Nathaniel!

Godell: Welcome, all! How is everyone?

Readers: GOOD! NOW HURRY UP AND COUNTINUE!

Bartimaus: Yes, get on with it!

Farquarl: Take it easy, Bartimaus. Think back when you were her age.

Bartimaus: I REALLY don't want to go that far into my memory.

Godell: XD

Godell: Now then….fic time…

Disclaimer: DUUUUUHHHHHHHHH…

Chapter Five

Kitty entered the room, feeling a sense of gloom. (Hey! I made a rhyme! Room, doom:P) "What's up, guys?" she asked, her blond hair getting in her eyes. She glanced at the pink book, then plopped down into a chair with a sigh. "THIS I gotta hear." Kitty gave a humorless chuckle. Bartimaus shoved the book into her arms. "Or better yet, read!" the djinni cried, grabbing the Kim voodoo doll. Kitty shrugged and began.

Teeheehee, Chappie # 5! Like, total SWEETNESS!ll!

Bartimaus could, like, TOTALLY sense there was sumptin in teh air. Sumptin evil. Like, yeah. So N.E.Wayz, the shex-ay didge-eenie dude transfomed into his Puh-tolmee form, and woke the beautifully sleeping Kim. Her lilac hair—

"Wait a minute, wasn't it blonde or something?" Nathaniel asked Farquarl, poking the book gingerly. "Hell, she's a bloody idiot, she probably dyed it that color." replied the cook djinni. Kitty cleared her throat and resumed reading:

--Her lilac hair covered her sensational b00bz, and, like, totally made Barty-hun blush.

"Tehre is sum evil thingy outside, help me fight it, Kimmy-wub!" he cried. Kimmy would, like, do ANYTHING for her hubby, so she got her newly made sord, put on her lilac bathrobe to match her pwetty hair, and walked outside into the moonlite with Barty-boy.

"Oooh, like, there is, like, this, like, really EVIL thingy out here!" she squealed, clutching her hubby's legs. Bartimaus ran his fingers thru her silky hair, and sang her some weird Egipt-shun lullaby. Kim calmed down, and suddenly pointed to a tree. "OMG! THERR IT IZ!1!" she cried, and swung her sord at the tree, and killed the evil force. It was ugly, had blond hair, and these uber-long pants. Kim recognised her. It was that hussy named…sumptin like "Kibbles"…but wut eva, who gives a care about HER N.E.Wayz? "She wanted you, B! Liek, OMG!" Kimmy told her hubby. He believed her, of corse! And, then, like, out in the moonlite, they made a testimony to ther lurve!

Kitty felt sick. Bartimaus grinned weakly, and said snatches of what was happening. "Hmm…. 'white roses'… 'bust vs. butt'…ugh… 'hershey's kisses'…Not bad, actually. She must have been running out of ideas." Nathaniel turned to Kitty, who was frothing at the mouth from anger. "Ahh….tell me that's the end of the chapter…" he pleaded, watching Bartimaus chuckle humorlessly. The djinni shook his head sadly. Kitty stopped frothing at the mouth, and continued, her pupils dilating…

After their 'fun', Bartimaus and Kimmy headed back to the mansion, talking and laughing. Only when they were making hot chocolate together did they notice.

"Nathniel's, like, GONE!" cried Kimmy, in total shok.

Nathaniel's POV

I awoke to, like, darknez. A strange shape came into view, which turned owt to be..SIMON LOVELACE! AAAAAAAAAAAAH! "Jon Maddrak, don't spoil this mo. for me. I've been watching u for a very long time now, WANTING you." I felt sick. Only, like, Kimmy could want me. ONLY HER! Before i could tell Simun this, I was dragged by sum invisibul force, and placed into this, like, uber-girly room. On the bed was this

like, pink sundress with "Sunny Dayz" on it. There was this, like, uber-frilly bow to go along with it. Ewww! I tehn saw this clozet, which I hoped would have some boyish clothin 4 me. How wrong could I get?1 There was a hole buch of THE frilliest, fluffiest, girliest, IDIOTIC outfits in the world (KSSS: Not to me! lol)! Simun had gone nutz!

Kitty stared. "Wow…I guess that's where this chapter ends." Nathaniel cowered on the ground, reaching the Kim voodoo doll. "I really hate her…" he muttered, finding a good-sized pin and sticking it into Kim's chest. Bartimaus grinned, and joined in the voodoo-doll-slaying. However, before anyone could say another word, a bright light came from the book, and out of it appeared a girl…oh my God, NO!

Bartimaus: No kidding.

Nathaniel: (glares at the "Sunny Dayz" dress he's wearing) Oh how I HATE that girl…

Godell: Looks like she has some other weird scheme planned, too. Even I don't know what she's planning, and I'm the author of her!

Bartimaus: The author OF the author!

Godell: Hey yeah, that's right! WAHAHAHAH!

Nathaniel: You know that laugh scares me.

Godell: (gives Nat a noogie) That's why I do it, "Mr. Madrak"!

Nathaniel: I still can't believe she spelled that wrong. How hard is "Mandrake", anyway!

Godell: Well, anyway, it's over. (grins to readers) I tried to make this as long as possible!

Bartimaus: …..

What think, readers? R&R! For girls, Nathaniel's "Sunny Dayz" sundress! For guys, Kim's sword! (grin)