Disclaimer: Same as before…HP belongs to JKR and the lyrics belong to Norah Jones – I am just borrowing both to amuse myself and, hopefully, some of you.
Thank you for all the wonderful reviews! If I haven't thanked you personally yet, I will get to it, I promise!
I just want to let everyone know that things may move quickly in this fic….I'm limited on time with this deadline and I want to keep the fic short, so things will need to happen faster than in my other fics.
I am usually a big fan of anticipation, but I do think that sometimes it's just as satisfying when the characters get caught up in the moment and things happen real quick. Anyway, just a warning.
Here is the next chapter…
It's pretty friggin' long too…I couldn't decide where I wanted to end it, so I just kept writing.
Enjoy!
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The moon's come and gone but a few stars hang on to the skyThe wind's running free but it ain't up to me to ask why
The poets are demanding their pay
They've left me with nothing to say
Accept hold me and tell me you'll be here to love me today
-Be Here to Love Me by Norah Jones
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Chapter Three
The moon's come…and gone
The full moon was upon them faster than either of them would have liked. The week flew by in a haze of exhaustion and short tempers.
Poor Harry and Ron did not fair well in their normal concern for their friend.
Each time they asked if she would be there to watch them practice, or if she really needed to go to the library yet again, they were met with exasperated and frustrated responses.
Amazingly enough, neither of them noticed the exhaustion in their friend's eyes, the pallid look of her skin, the loss of appetite, or the increasingly baggy clothes that she wore due to the loss of weight from not eating.
No, in all their concern for her not being as involved in their lives as she used to be, they missed the important clues of her condition. Typical boys!
Hermione considered all of this as she made her way to Remus' rooms with two vials of wolfsbane potion.
I'm not sure whether it is a blessing or a curse that my best friends are so self-absorbed that they don't notice that I am not the same as I always was…
Finding herself outside Remus' door, Hermione knocked softly three times – their code that it's just her – and waited for Remus to let her in.
Remus opened the door looking exactly how Hermione felt – ragged, tired, and slightly ill.
Ah, isn't lycanthropy a bitch?
Remus offered a small but relatively cheerful smile as he motioned Hermione in.
"How are you holding up, Hermione?" Remus asked as Hermione walked past him into the room.
"Well, I feel about the same as you look."
"Ah, right, so you are ready to run a marathon or hit a nightclub?" Remus quipped
Hermione turned to smile up at Remus. "That's right, top form."
Remus turned and led Hermione into his private rooms.
Hermione was in awe the moment she stepped through the doorway.
To her, this was an intimate thing…seeing the bedroom of a man for the first time, especially a man that she was denying old, and deeply hidden, feelings for.
Remus watched her as she made her way slowly around the room, stopping at his many bookcases along the way. He enjoyed watching her, he had for a while now, he realized.
Don't start thinking inappropriate thoughts now, old man. This is a girl that has a lot on her plate right now. She doesn't need an old werewolf pining for her, Remus scolded himself.
His internal scolding still didn't stop his eyes from following her every move, though.
In the past year, she went from a gawky yet mature girl to a beautiful, and still mature, young woman. He did not fail to notice the changes in her, especially the physical ones. He was a man, after all. No, he just tried to ignore them; more often than not he failed miserably.
When she came to the two blankets set out before the fire, she settled down onto the one on the left. Remus moved to join her once she was seated.
"We have about an hour until the moon rises, would you like to have some dinner with me?" Remus asked as they stared into the fire.
"That would be great," Hermione replied. "Oh, and I have our wolfsbane," she added.
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"Okay, Hermione, it's time," Remus said softly as he looked out the window in his room.
Hermione had become steadily more nervous as the hour passed and Remus had done everything he could think of to comfort her and prepare her, mentally, for what was coming.
He knew, however, that nothing could ever prepare her for the transformation itself. It would be the most excruciatingly painful thing that she would ever go through, bar none.
Remus turned to look at Hermione, knowing there were only minutes to go before their worst fears came true. He was not surprised to see the look of utterly debilitating fear on her face, and he could not help but feel the pull at his heart for this young woman. She should not have to deal with this; she doesn't deserve to be cursed like this.
"I can't do this Remus! I can't do this!" Hermione cried out frantically.
Hermione could feel the tears welling up in her eyes as she look at Remus. She knew that there was nothing either of them could do, but that did not stop her from hoping.
Remus wanted to reach out and comfort the young woman before him, but it just wasn't possible.
At that moment, the moon became visible and their dreaded transformations began.
Remus, who has been through this more times than he would like to remember, knew to remain calm and breathe through the pain.
Hermione, however, forgot to breathe as the pain consumed her.
She held her breath as she doubled over; the pain from her bones breaking, stretching and reconnecting, her muscles tearing and stretching, was just too much. She couldn't even scream, for lack of breath and the excruciating pain were incapacitating.
She clawed at her body, her face, anything to get the pain to stop.
This has to be a fate worse than death! How am I going to survive this every month? Hermione could barely think through the torture, but she managed those two thoughts before she heard Remus' voice.
"Breathe, Hermione," Remus rasped, his own body racked with pain. "You have to breathe."
Hermione struggled to take a breath as she watched her hands changing into paws, her nails becoming claws, and she let out a tortured scream.
She tried to fight the transformation as much as she could, even though, logically, she knew it was futile. It was going to happen whether she let it or not, whether she wanted it or not.
She took a ragged breath as she felt her face reforming itself, a snout growing where her nose and mouth should have been. Her skin bubbled and tingled, almost like she took the Polyjuice Potion, as it sprouted fur. She screamed again, but it came out as more of a strangled howl.
She barely noticed that her clothes were now in shreds on the floor around her, having been torn apart from the transformation as well as Hermione tearing at her own skin.
The final straw for her fragile stability was the bending, twisting, and reformation of her spine as she went from a two-legged mammal to a four-legged one…the pain was agonizing. It was just too much to bear and she let out a blood-curdling howl right before she passed out.
Remus watched as she fought the transformation, feeling helpless as there was nothing he could do. It may get easier with time, but it would always be painful.
He continued to watch as she howled and passed out – the pain was just too much for her system. It is going to be like that the first few times, he thought sadly. She wasn't far from where he set the blankets earlier, only a few feet away.
He padded over to the blankets and nudged one with his snout. He gently bit down on the corner and dragged the blanket over to Hermione. Before he tugged the blanket over her wolf-form, he stopped to admire her.
She was lying on her side, her head resting directly on the floor. One of her front paws were crossed over the other. She was a beautiful white wolf, with a few small spots of light brown – one on her front left paw, one on her left ear, and another on her belly.
Remus tugged the blanket over part of her body and softly nudged her with his snout. She didn't react, so he settled on the floor next to her to wait until she woke up. He knew from experience that it would probably be a while. He crossed his front paws and settled his head down on them. He let out a soft whine before he closed his eyes.
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Hermione opened her eyes to see a sleeping gray wolf lying beside her on the floor. She felt very warm and groggy.
She blinked her eyes a few times trying to remember where she was and why. It came back to her after a moment of staring at the sleeping gray wolf.
It it the full moon…I transformed…it was the worst pain I've ever experienced…I must have passed out.
Hermione stretched her wolf-form before standing up on all fours.
It took her a minute to coordinate all four legs…it was much different from working with just two feet.
Once she finally made it to a standing position, she stretched again – her front paws extended in front of her on the floor and all her weight kicked back on her hind legs. Just like her old dog Pudgie used to do.
She looked over at the gray wolf again – he was still sleeping – before she set about getting used to walking on all four feet.
She wobbled around the room trying to coordinate her paws. It felt very awkward, but she was getting the hang of it. She only fell over twice before she made one full turn around the decently sized room.
Once she had the walking mastered, she tried running. Again, she tripped over her own paws twice before she had it down. She even tried chasing her tail for a little bit…it was kind of fun. After that, she tried out her new sense of smell. She bent her snout to the floor and tried to track scents around the room.
At first it was really confusing…so many different scents, it was really difficult to distinguish one from another. After some practice, though, she was able to track Remus' scent throughout the room.
His scent made her think of him.
He has been a great friend the past couple of weeks, trying to help me come to terms with my fate, letting me stay here with him during my first full moon. He really is a wonderful person.
He's caring, compassionate, polite, intelligent, respectful, modest, not to mention, handsome. I wonder why he doesn't have a girlfriend, or even a wife. Well, at least I don't think he does. He's never mentioned having either one.
Merlin, even when I am a wolf I can't help where my mind wanders when I think of Remus. I really need to stop thinking about him…it always leads back to the same place. The place that I just can't go right now, because I know that he does not see me that way, so I ought to just spare myself the embarrassment and heartbreak.
A soft growl jarred Hermione from her thoughts.
She lifted her furry white head from the floor near the four poster bed where she was tracking Remus' scent. She looked toward the fire to see the gray wolf was awake from his nap and stretching.
She watched as he stood and shook out each leg before sniffing the air. She saw him look at the blanket before he bent his snout down to sniff at it. She continued to watch as the wolf flopped down on the blanket and proceeded to roll around on it, growling softly.
If wolves could laugh, she would have.
It was too cute to see the gray wolf rolling around like a puppy, knowing all the while that it was Remus.
She yipped happily to let the gray wolf know that she was there and watched as he suddenly stopped rolling and sprang to his feet.
His gray eyes stared right at her as she stood there. He slowly moved toward her, sniffing the air to catch her scent.
Once he reached her, he nudged her head with his snout and she growled softly. He whined as he laid on the floor in front of her and she nipped his ear before running off.
The two wolves chased each other around the room and took turns tackling one another for the next few hours before they settled down in front of the fire once again.
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Hermione woke up feeling shaky and slightly ill, and decidedly naked.
She looked down at her naked body and wondered why she didn't feel cold. She realized then that she was lying on a blanket less than a foot from the fireplace.
She briefly wondered where Remus was before she turned her head away from the fireplace to see him lying a foot away on the other side of her.
And he was naked as the day he was born as well.
Hermione felt her cheeks flush as she realized they were both naked. But that didn't stop her from admiring Remus in all his glory. After she made sure that he was still sleeping, that is.
He was slim, but not overly so, and fit too. Hermione let her eyes wander slowly over his strong shoulders and chest, which was lightly sprinkled with hair – just the way she liked it, his biceps and forearms, his toned abs, his narrow hips, down to his…
Remus woke up moments after Hermione did, but did not feel like opening his eyes just yet. He was feeling shaky and slightly ill just like Hermione, so he knew that the best thing he could do for the moment is not move around too much.
He felt the heat of Hermione's gaze before he opened his eyes and waited a few minutes to open them, until he couldn't hold back any longer. He had to open his eyes to see her face as she let her gaze wander over him.
He was lying on his back, so he knew she was getting the full view.
He was surprised, however, when he opened his eyes to look at her and saw that she was naked still, lying on her side as she checked him out. He thought for sure that she would have covered herself up right away.
It was apparent that she forgot all about her nudity when she noticed his, as she was too absorbed in the view to bother covering herself.
He couldn't help but let his eyes wander over her naked flesh. I am a man, after all. And I just so happen to be a man who turns into a hairy beast of burden once a month.
He let his eyes wander over her smooth skin, her pert breasts, that he just so happened to notice were just the right size for his hands, her smooth belly that just begged to be kissed, and the brown curls at the apex of her thighs…
Okay, that's enough before I get myself aroused and shock the poor girl into never speaking to me again. 'Smooth belly that just begged to be kissed', I do not need to be having those kinds of thoughts right now. This situation is delicate enough, you randy old wolf. Say something so that we can both end this torture.
It was then that Remus spoke and had to stifle a chuckle as Hermione nearly jumped out of her skin
"Do you like what you see?"
Hermione nearly hit the ceiling, or so it felt to her, when the raspy voice spoke out. Her cheeks flushed again as she looked at Remus in horror.
I was just ogling my professor's naked body and HE CAUGHT ME! Oh Merlin, I wish the floor would just open up and swallow me whole. A voice that sounded strangely like Ginny added, as that is not likely going to happen, you better make the best of it.
He didn't actually expect a reply, so he was surprised, not to mention quite shocked really, when she said, "Actually, yes. You have a nice body. I never would have guessed it was this nice with the clothes that you wear."
Hermione was equally shocked and surprised at having said that, but it was the truth and she couldn't take it back now. Besides, she could always just blame it on Ginny's voice in her head.
That's a subtle way to let my professor know that I want to shag him. Very smooth, Granger, VERY SMOOTH, Hermione thought.
"Er, well, thank you, Mione," Remus blushed as he spoke. "As long as we're being honest, you have a very nice body as well."
Why don't I just tell her that I want to shag her silly, for all the subtly that I possess that is what she probably thinks now anyway, Remus berated himself.
Oddly enough, neither one of them made a move to cover themselves up yet.
"I think we should get dressed now," they said at the same time. They both chuckled before nodding.
Hermione wrapped a blanket around her and turned around to let Remus walk to his wardrobe without feeling her eyes on him again.
It was then that he realized that Hermione didn't have any clothes to wear, considering her clothing from last night lay in shredded tatters throughout the room.
He quickly dressed himself in a pair of loose fitting ripped jeans and a black t-shirt before he turned around. He looked over to where Hermione was standing with her back to him.
She was wrapped up in the blanket but her shoulders were bare and her russet hair hung in curls that flowed down her back.
Merlin, even standing there with her back to me she is striking.
Oh, damn it, knock it off!
I'm sure she doesn't want me drooling over her, so just bloody well knock it off!
Remus shook his head to push those thoughts away and cleared his throat.
"Mione?" He said, his hoarse voice coming out just a hair above a whisper.
Hermione turned around slowly when Remus said her name, not sure whether he would be dressed or not. When she finally faced his direction she looked up to see that he was, in fact, dressed, and looking quite adorable in his ripped jeans and black shirt.
As Remus watched her slowly turn around, her hair moved away from her left shoulder and he caught a glimpse of where she was bitten. The bite mark seemed to not be healed still and that worried him.
She must not have treated it properly. It takes a bit more than the average healing spell to take care of an injury like that, he thought. I wish I knew that it wasn't healed sooner.
"I just realized that you don't have any clothes to wear back to your rooms," Remus said, feeling his face flush as he watched her check him out again. "Would you like to borrow something of mine?"
Hermione blushed at the thought of wearing his clothes, but what were her options, really?
What else could I do, walk back to the Head Girl rooms wrapped in nothing but the blanket? I don't think so.
"Thank you, Remus. I think that I will have to considering the state of my clothes from last night," Hermione let out a nervous laugh.
"No problem," Remus replied as he rummaged around in his wardrobe for a shirt that would not be to big on Hermione.
He pulled out a brown t-shirt similar to the black one that he was wearing and turned around to hand it to Hermione.
"I don't know what we should do about pants, though," Remus said shyly. "All of mine will be too big on you, not to mention a few inches too long."
As slim as he was, his pants would still be too big for the slender Head Girl.
Hermione was just about to suggest that maybe a pair of sweat pants would be fine, just to get her back to her rooms, but Remus spoke before she could.
"I know what we can do," he said as he turned back to his wardrobe and pulled out a pair of particularly old and ripped jeans. "I will just transfigure these into a pair that would fit you."
And with that, Remus stepped over to his bedside table and picked up his wand. He transfigured the old tattered jeans into a newer pair of women's jeans that he thought would fit Hermione. He couldn't be sure how good they would fit, though, since he didn't want to be rude and ask her what size she was.
He didn't know all that much about the fairer sex, but he did know better than to ask a woman her size. He learned that one the hard way quite a few years ago.
"Here you go," he said, handing Hermione the jeans. "You can see how those fit, but first I want to take a look at your bite, if you don't mind."
Hermione eyed him carefully for a moment then shook her head and turned around again. She moved the hair away from her left shoulder to give him better access.
Remus examined the wound, noting that it had become infected after not being treated properly for a month. He held up his wand, gently touching her wound with the tip and whispered a complex healing charm that would take care of most of the damage.
Hermione hissed in pain as the wound closed over.
"I'm sorry that it hurt, Mione, but it would only have gotten worse if I didn't fix it now," Remus said softly. He hated the thought of hurting her, but it had to be done to heal the wound.
"It's okay. Thank you for healing it."
Remus nodded and turned around to let Hermione put on the clothes…for some reason, it didn't occur to either of them to retreat to the bathroom to change in private.
As soon as she was sure that Remus' back was turned, she let the blanket drop and slipped the shirt over her head.
She took a moment to smell the shirt – her newfound sense of smell enabled her to smell Remus' scent all over the shirt – and she felt a warm sensation flood her body.
Remembering that she was standing there in just a shirt and nothing else, she quickly pulled on the jeans. They fit perfectly.
How in the world did Remus know my size? Hermione wondered.
"The jeans fit wonderfully, thank you," Hermione said as a way to let Remus know it was okay to turn around.
"That was a lucky guess on my part, but you are welcome nevertheless."
Hermione smiled up at Remus as she made her way closer to him, he just watched her nervously as she approached.
Remus was not at all sure what she was doing, but he was pleased and relieved all at the same time when she reached up and pulled him into a warm hug.
He tried not to think of her body as it pressed into his. He tried not to think of how good she smelled or how soft her hair was. And he really tried not to think about what effect having her so close was having on his body.
It was pure pleasure and extreme torture for him all at the same time. And that is why he pulled away from her embrace before he did something that would embarrass them both.
Hermione was experiencing a similar feeling in regard to the hug and she was equally as worried about causing any embarrassment to either Remus or herself.
She smiled shyly at Remus as she took a step back and tried to subtly compose herself.
"I guess I should be heading back to my rooms now. Thank you for letting me stay here with you," Hermione said earnestly. "I don't know what I would have done without your help, Remus. I don't know how to thank you."
Remus just stared at Hermione for a moment as the wolf popped up in his mind and distracted him.
Oh, I could think of a few ways that you could thank me…
Down boy! Knock it off!
Remus shook himself mentally and smiled down at Hermione.
"You don't need to thank me, Mione. I am just glad that I was able to help you. I would do anything to make this easier for you," Remus replied as he walked Hermione to the door. "Make sure you go back to your rooms and rest. You will feel a little off for the rest of the day, typical symptom of full moons, you know? Oh, make sure you rub a little healing ointment over the wound area, it will help to lessen the scarring."
Hermione nodded and waved as she left Remus standing at the door, watching her walk away.
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In the week following the full moon, Hermione felt too embarrassed to visit Remus outside of class.
He had seen her naked after all. Not to mention the fact that he caught her blatantly admiring his naked body.
No, it was just too weird right now, there's no way she would be able to look him in the eye if they were in a room alone.
And she really needed to forget all about this silly crush.
She truly thought that she was over it after she met Victor Krum.
Apparently not.
It seemed that she merely talked herself into thinking that she was over it, over him. In reality, her crush on the sexy DADA professor stuck around, hiding in the deep recesses of her mind and heart, just waiting for the right moment to come back and haunt her.
And it seemed that this was the perfect moment, as she was once again haunted by the crush.
I guess if I had to have a crush on a professor, Remus would be the best choice…not only is he bloody handsome as hell, but he is such a caring soul that he would let me down gently if he were to ever find out.
Still, the thought of him finding out and not returning her feelings frightened her and heightened her embarrassment. Yet the thought of him finding out and actually feeling the same way in return scared her nearly as much. Talk about conflicting emotions.
Little did the Head Girl know that the very object of her thoughts and affections was suffering the same train of thought…
Remus wanted nothing more than to spend time with Hermione, yet felt embarrassed about the events of 'the morning after', as he liked to call it. But then he also wanted to stay as far away from her as possible.
He feared that she would think him a fool for wanting to spend time with a woman her age and he just could not handle that coming from her.
Maybe he was a fool, but he was a fool trying his best to deny feelings that he's kept hidden for quite a while.
It was becoming much harder to deny them, he realized as he watched Hermione leave his classroom without even a glance back at him.
He was trying to not feel hurt that she didn't come to visit him at all the week after the full moon – especially since he was still unsure if he wanted her to. Again with the conflicting emotions!
The two werewolves danced around each other the same way for another week before either of them worked up enough courage to take the initiative.
It was the end of DADA class on Friday, two weeks after the full moon, and Hermione decided that if she did not stay and talk to Remus after class, it would only get to be more weird and uncomfortable by the time she saw him on the night of the next full moon.
She knew the longer she let this go, the harder it would be.
Plus, it's not like keeping her distance had any effect on eliminating her crush. If anything, the distance only served to fortify her true feelings in her heart, and her mind.
Bollocks to that whole 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' rubbish, she thought as she watched the class full of students slowly empty as everyone made their way to the Great Hall for dinner.
Harry and Ron shot her curious glances as they watched her pack up her belongings as slowly as possible. She waved them off in annoyance, wanting them to leave so she could get this 'talking to Remus again' thing over with.
The two boys just shrugged their shoulders at their annoyed friend and waved to Remus as they left.
They were the last ones out, leaving Hermione and Remus standing there staring at each other from across the room.
Neither one spoke for a few minutes as they both watched each other. No movements were made either…the room was completely still and silent.
The silence was broken, as was the stillness, when the classroom door seemed to close of its own accord, causing Hermione to start and Remus to chuckle.
"Didn't mean to startle you, just a little wandless magic, thought we might want a little privacy with the staring contest we had going," Remus joked to ease the uncomfortable tension.
Hermione shook herself and laughed.
"How are you, Remus?"
Remus looked at the young woman thoughtfully for a moment. Better now that you are here.
He didn't realize that he spoke the words aloud until he saw a soft blush cross Hermione's face as she smiled. He felt his own cheeks flush and he cleared his throat.
"I was going to skip dinner and grade some of these papers" – he pointed to a rather large stack of papers on one corner of his desk – "before they take over my desk. Would you be interested in giving me a hand?" Remus asked, one part of him wanting her to say yes, but another part wanting her to say no at the same time.
He was pleased that she said yes, but nervous and unsure if it was a good idea to be alone with her when he had yet to convince himself that he did not want her.
Oh, fuck it, just live a little. Go with the flow and see where it takes you, a voice spoke in his head, sounding suspiciously like Sirius.
He wanted to ignore the thought, since it was exactly what Sirius would tell him in this situation, but he decided to just go with it.
He gathered the stack of papers – he had to give a portion of the pile to Hermione so that he wouldn't have to make two trips – and headed for his office.
The two of them spent a good few hours marking papers and making conversation. All of the embarrassment and confliction that they each felt during the past two weeks seemed to evaporate as soon as they settled into conversation. When they made a good dent in the pile, Remus decided that it was time to quit for the night and ordered a late snack since they skipped dinner.
He and Hermione settle into the chairs by the fire and conversation flowed as the two of them got to know each other better than they already did. They talked about everything from childhood stories to hopes and dreams without any uncomfortable silences or awkwardness.
It was some time after curfew when Hermione left his office, each of them wishing that the night didn't have to end.
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