Disclaimer: Not mine, unfortunately. The characters all belong to the lovely JKR and the lyrics are presented as sung by Staind.

I meant to have this chapter written and posted Saturday night, but that obviously did not happen. I got sidetracked with reading some Hermione/Severus fic that seemed pretty interesting…totally forgot which one it was though.

Then I wanted to finish writing this chappie and post it Sunday afternoon, but I decided to go off-roading with my sister, her boyfriend and one of their friends…turns out that we have some sand pits right behind our complex that I never even knew about, we can get to them from the back of our complex. It was a lot of fun, I took my truck out there and got it all muddy, but then it rained and most of the mud was washed away, which is good, I guess…(okay, so I wrote that part last night, and what do I find when I go out to my truck this morning to leave for work? A nice flat tire. Yea, so I'm not going off-roading again anytime soon)

So, I know that I have a bunch of review replies to do, and I will get to them, eventually…they just take so damn long (yes, I know I am whining, sorry) that I have to mentally prepare myself to do them…hopefully my mental preparedness will be up to par tonight…in the mean time, thank you for all the wonderful reviews. I really do appreciate them, even if I do not respond to them in a timely manner.

Anyway, here is the next installment…I'm not sure how much I like it, but it is what it is…in the first part, I present to you the confrontation between Harry, Ron and Mione. It did not work out the way I intended, in fact it completely mutated itself to be something vastly different from what I started out with, but that seems to be the nature of the beast known as this story. I hope that it works the way it is, because I tried to change it back to how I wanted it, but it just was not happening.

The second part is the much awaited and completely uninterrupted Hermione/Remus goodness that earned this story the M-rating that I gave it. Enjoy! If you all find that I did a decent job with my first sex scene, I will write more, so be sure to let me know!

This is my life
It's not what it was before
All these feelings I've shared
And these are my dreams
That I'd never lived before…

--So Far Away by Staind

Chapter Seven

This is my life…

"Because we want to know what the bloody hell is going on with you!" Ron bellowed.

Hermione stared at her two best friends for several moments, torn between relief that they finally noticed something was 'off' with her and anger that they would confront her like this. For the moment, she opted more for the anger than the relief.

"Pardon me? You want to know what the bloody hell is going on with me? Why don't you try some tact, Ronald, then I might just confide in you what the bloody hell is wrong with me!" Hermione seethed.

She knew that it was probably long past time that her best friends found out, but did it have to be done right now? Part of her was really wishing that she didn't flee Remus' office earlier, though she was completely undecided over which would be worse – Remus' rejection or Harry and Ron's anger.

Hmm, tough call.

"Forget tact, Mione. Just tell us what exactly it is that you have been hiding from us?" Harry said, finally.

Hermione regarded them for another few minutes, wondering how in the world she should break the news. Gently or right to the point?

Ron's patience seemed to wear out completely (that's if he even had any to begin with) as they waited for Hermione to appeal to their demands. He stepped forward and grabbed Hermione's arm and dragged her through the door to her rooms. Once all three of them were in the Head Girls' rooms, he spoke heatedly.

"We'll make this easy for you Hermione. Why have you been spending so much time with Professor Lupin?"

Hermione had to physically prevent her jaw from dropping in surprise…

Now, that was not what I was expecting, but okay. We can deal with one issue at a time, I guess.

"What are you talking about?" Hermione asked, trying to gauge just what they are implying.

"We are talking about the fact that you always stay after everyone else leaves DADA class, you are never around anymore, you disappear for hours, your schedule suddenly changed this week, and you are not in half our classes anymore. And when we asked Ginny where you might be not more than an hour ago, she told us you were probably with Remus," Harry replied.

"Ah, right," Hermione laughed when she realized that they did not bring up anything that she could not easily explain away without lying, much. "Well, I guess you haven't heard yet, but I am Professor Lupin's new teaching assistant"

Ron and Harry exchanged a look as they considered the information.

"Why didn't you tell us when you found out?" Ron asked, apparently bothered that they were not the first ones to hear the news.

"I'm sorry. I only found out a week or so ago and I've been so busy that I thought I already told you."

Actually, it wasn't that far from the truth. She was very busy lately, but it actually never occurred to her to tell the boys of her new title.

"That's okay, Mione. We know you've been busy, we just wish you told us right away is all," Ron said, finally placated.

Then Harry dropped the bomb that he had been holding since they first started looking for her over an hour ago.

"Just tell me why you were in Remus' private rooms earlier, Mione," Harry said suspiciously.

What? How the hell does he know that?

Hermione's eyes widened as she looked at Harry, his green eyes boring into her as he waited for some sort of explanation. She turned her wide eyes to Ron only to see him looking wide-eyed at Harry as well.

Oh shit! He probably checked the Marauder's Map to see where I was, before or after Ginny told them that I was with Remus. I guess he did not say anything to Ron, judging by the look on Ron's face.

Hermione felt frozen as she scrambled for some sort of plausible explanation. Before she could come up with even some snippet of one, Ron spoke up.

"What are you talking about Harry?"

Harry turned his green eyes on Ron as he pulled an old piece of parchment from his pocket and held it up. "I am talking about the fact that I saw a dot labeled 'Hermione Granger' in Professor Lupin's private bedroom…"

Ron paled as Harry paused, but he seemed to flush with color at the implication of what Harry was saying. Hermione stared at Harry in the same manner as one stares at a train wreck – completely horrified – as she felt his eyes turn back to glare at her. She felt powerless to stop the words that she knew were about to come out of Harry's mouth.

"Her dot was extremely close to a dot labeled 'Remus Lupin' and since they were in his bedroom, I can only assume what it was they were doing," Harry spoke to Ron as if Hermione was not even there, even though his eyes were focused solely on her.

Ron was livid at the idea that Hermione was shagging Remus, as was Harry. He turned to Hermione to see her looking horrified. Good, he thought, she should be ashamed of shagging a professor, especially one who was a friend of her best friend's father. That is just disgusting! And to think that I used to fancy myself in love with her, what utter rubbish that was.

Hermione was wishing, fervently, that the ground would open up and swallow her whole because she really did not want to deal with their disgusted and disappointed glares right now.

She felt horrible that they had to find out as they did, but then again, it was none of their business to begin with. She was a big girl, she could snog, date, or shag whomever she wanted to without her friends needing to know or having to approve.

And the worst part was that she didn't even get to shag Remus yet, and she probably never would now that Harry and Ron knew of their 'relationship'.

Not knowing what to say, Hermione just stared at them until Ron lost his temper, again.

"What the fuck, Hermione? Are you shagging all your professors? Is that how you get such high marks? Do they mark you on your shagging abilities as well?" Ron exploded.

Hermione cringed at the thought of 'shagging all her professors'; the images were just too much to bear. She breathed deeply, preparing to explode right back at the righteous little bastard she used to consider one of her best friends, but Ron shouted at her again before she could even open her mouth.

"What did you think Hermione? That you could have your cake and eat it too?"

Hermione tried to hold back the chuckle that was begging to escape, really she tried, but it was all for naught. Luckily, the chuckle came out as more of a snort. She always hated that stupid saying and she most certainly planned to make it known.

"That is utterly ridiculous, Ronald Weasley! What is the bloody point of having cake if you can't eat it? Why don't you think before you speak next time?"

Harry let go of his anger long enough to chuckle for a moment before Hermione turned the heat of her chocolate eyes on him. He knew as soon as he met her eyes that she had enough of the two of them and she was planning to tell them so.

"I have had it with you two interfering with my life! I am of legal age, in both wizard and muggle society, and I am perfectly capable of deciding who I want to shag without needing your consent or approval," Hermione spoke softly though she was seething inside.

She glared at her two so-called best friends as she considered what she should say next. It hit her then that it was a perfect opportunity to break the news of being a werewolf to them…they were not likely to be any angrier than they already were.

"While we are on the subject of you two thinking that you have the right to know everything that goes on in my life, have either of you noticed anything seriously different with me or are you both too stupid to notice the changes caused by the worst thing that has ever happened to me?" The boys looked at her in bewilderment, wondering what they missed. "Over two months ago, I was attacked by a werewolf. Funny you two never noticed all the changes since then."

Ron's jaw dropped and Harry observed Hermione in silent contemplation. After what felt like years, Harry finally spoke.

"Was it Remus?"

Hermione looked at him in confusion for a moment before she realized what he meant. Unfortunately, Harry took her hesitation as the answer to his question.

"I'm going to fucking kill him!" He immediately stalked toward the door, obviously hell-bent on confronting Remus.

"Harry! It wasn't! It wasn't Remus!" Hermione yelled frantically once she realized the conclusion Harry came to.

Harry was just about through her door back to the corridor when Hermione's words reached him. He stopped and turned back to look sadly at his 'friend'. "Fine, I won't kill Remus. But that doesn't change anything between us, Hermione. You betrayed our trust, our friendship by keeping some shocking 'secrets' from us. You are not the person I thought you were, neither is Remus."

Hermione nodded. She felt bad that the boys were not taking things well, but at the same time, she felt like they were not that close anymore anyway. The past two plus months changed her so much; things just were no longer the same between them, they hadn't been for a while. How they did not see that was beyond her.

Why they can't see that my time with Remus was the only thing that kept me, keeps me, from losing it over being cursed as a werewolf? Then again, they are boys, she thought. I have to make sure that they don't go starting rumors, not that I think they will, but I just need some assurance that they will hold their tongues.

"Promise me that neither of you will say anything to anyone, including Remus," Hermione demanded as Ron made his way to Harry near the door.

Ron had yet to say anything since finding out that she was now a werewolf. When he walked up to Harry, the two boys shared a knowing look before he turned back to Hermione. His face was expressionless when he said, "We won't say anything, but don't expect us to be there to pick up the pieces when he hurts you."

Hermione watched as her two best friends walked out the door, knowing that it would be a while before she spoke to either of them. She wasn't too surprised to find that she was okay with that idea.

Remus approached the portrait to the Head Girl's room, not entirely sure what he was doing. It was lunchtime and he wasn't even sure if Hermione would be in her room or down in the Great Hall.

He tortured himself after Hermione walked out of his rooms yesterday. He felt like a prat for stopping her, for presuming to know what she would want more than she did. He knew that it was wrong of him, but he just could not get the fear of her regretting whatever they did out of his mind.

He spent the rest of the afternoon moping about his office, trying to get some marking done but failing miserably. He hoped that Hermione would come back sometime later in the day, but when she didn't appear by curfew, he knew he was fooling himself.

That was when all the old self-doubt truly kicked in. He slept fitfully and woke up knowing that he had to see Hermione, if for no other reason than to make sure that they would be able to work together without any drama.

Standing in front of the portrait to Hermione's room, he knocked and waited, somewhat patiently, to see if Hermione answered. He knew that she made it a habit to cast a charm to see through her door and he hoped that she would let him in when she saw him.

He did not have to wait long as the portrait opened to reveal Hermione standing there in the jeans and shirt that he gave her the morning after her first full moon. He forgot all about those clothes, but now he felt a warm feeling in his stomach at the thought that she still wore his shirt.

"Hullo Remus," Hermione smiled up at him.

"Good morning, love."

He felt another warm feeling as he followed her into her rooms. The thought that this was his first time in her rooms did not elude him. It was incredibly intimate and he found himself wanting to explore as much as he could.

He was distracted before he had a fair chance to look around as Hermione rushed at him with tears in her eyes. He pulled her into a tight embrace and whispered in her hair.

"I'm sorry about yesterday, Mione. I promise not to make decisions for you like that again."

He felt her shake her head against his chest as she spoke muffled words. "No, Remus, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left things like that. I just felt hurt that you rejected me, but I realized late last night why you did it."

It was true, too. She thought about many things last night, most of them concerning Remus, and she came to the conclusion that he stopped her because he did not want her to feel pressured in any way, not because he didn't want her.

He stroked her back as she clung to him. He could hear her sniffling and he had a distinct feeling that something else wrong.

"What else is bothering you?"

Hermione leaned back to look into his gray eyes as she sighed. Last night, she thought about how best to tell him what the boys knew and decided that the best way was the straightforward route.

"After I left your rooms, Harry and Ron confronted me with the fact that they saw us in your bedroom on the Marauder's Map yesterday. They were quite angry but I made them promise not to tell anyone what they 'saw'. I also told them that I am now a werewolf, though they seemed less shocked by that than they did about us."

Remus stiffened when she mentioned the boys catching them in his room on the map, but he knew that they wouldn't say anything.

"Wow, Mione, you had quite the day yesterday, eh?"

His comment elicited a soft laugh from Hermione and he pulled her closer to him.

"We have every right to spend time together, since you are my assistant, but we will just have to be careful about the 'private time' we spend together. Maybe I can find a way to confiscate the map from the boys," Remus' gray eyes sparkled mischievously at the idea.

Hermione reached up to pull his head down for a chaste kiss before she whispered, "I think that sounds like a grand idea."

Remus chuckled as he swung her around in a circle playfully before he turned serious again. "I'm sorry that the boys are angry about us, but at least they know everything now. You don't have to worry about hiding things from them anymore."

"That's true. I think it will be a while before they start talking to me again though."

"No worries, they will come around when they are ready," he said softly as he leaned down to kiss her.

Remus released her lips after the brief kiss and gave her a distinctly wolfish smile. "What do you say we pick up where we left off yesterday?"

Without saying a word, Hermione grasped Remus' hand and led him to her bedroom. Once they were standing near her four-post bed, she turned to Remus and pulled him in for a searing kiss.

She ran her hands through is hair as her tongue traced along his bottom lip before slipping inside his mouth. His hands were already slipping under the shirt she wore, seeking contact with her smooth skin.

Remus kissed his way along Hermione's jaw and down to her neck as she started to unbutton his shirt. She was having a rough time of it though, as Remus' tongue running along the skin of her neck made it difficult to concentrate on the task at hand. Unable to work the third button down after four tries, she decided to just rip the shirt open.

Remus growled when he felt Hermione pull his shirt open and increased his assault on her neck, nibbling and sucking until he caused goose-pimples to break out up and down her body.

The feel of her slender hands on his chest was amazing and he moaned as he sought her mouth once again. Devouring her in a kiss, he followed Hermione's lead and pulled her shirt up. He broke the kiss only long enough to pull the shirt over her head. He nibbled her bottom lip as he hands roamed over the soft skin of her belly and back.

When his hands ran up the length of her back, he realized that she wasn't wearing a bra. How he missed that when he pulled her shirt off, he didn't know.

He cupped a breast in each hand and rolled her nipples between each thumb and forefinger causing her to moan and deepen the kiss. Wanting to feel her bare skin up against his chest, he pulled her flush against his body. The heat of her breasts against his chest was bloody amazing and he wanted to cry out at the loss of heat when Hermione pulled back slightly.

She broke the kiss and smiled up at him before she kissed her way down his neck to his shoulders and then his chest. She nuzzled the fine hair that graced his chest before she gently bit down on each of his nipple. Remus moaned at the pleasurable pain that shot through him and felt himself harden.

Hermione smiled at Remus' reaction to her ministrations before she kissed her way back up to his neck. She sucked on his pulse point as her hands slid down his stomach to his belt. She hesitated for a moment, waiting to see if he would try to stop her like last time. When she felt him caress her breasts again, she knew that he was definitely not going to stop her, so she unbuckled his belt and flicked the button of his jeans open as quickly as she could.

He groaned as he felt Hermione's hand graze his erection through his pants as she slid the zipper down.

Remus was surprised at her boldness…he was sure that this would be her first time and he did not think that she had much experience in the realm of foreplay, but she was doing a great job of seducing him at the moment. He knew that Hermione was good at whatever she did, so he figured she probably read some erotic novels so she would know what to do when the time came.

He was pulled back from his thoughts as Hermione pulled his pants down revealing midnight blue boxers that were doing nothing to contain his erection. She admired the boxers for a moment before she slid them down as well. He watched Hermione take in the sight of his manhood as he stepped out of his pants.

He knew that if she reached to feel him right now, it would be his undoing, so he reached forward to undo the buttons to her pants. He wanted to give her all the pleasure he could before he lost control and took her innocence, knowing that the first time would be more painful than pleasurable for her.

As Remus pulled her jeans down her legs, he was shocked to discover that innocent little Hermione was not wearing any knickers. The knowledge that she did not wear anything beneath the clothes that he gave her caused him to harden even more, if that was possible.

He growled low in his throat as he pushed Hermione back onto the bed and settled down on his right side next to her. His mouth sought her left breast as his left hand tenderly roamed her body from her shoulder down to her thigh before his fingers sought the curls at the apex of her thighs.

Hermione moaned when she felt Remus touch her center and she pulled his head up to kiss him. He was so gentle yet Hermione could feel the passion rolling off him in waves and it made her ache for him to be inside her.

Hermione writhed under Remus' ministrations, his nimble fingers hitting all the right spots leading her to her first orgasm…well, first one brought on by someone else's hands, anyway. He nearly lost it when he felt her walls contract around his fingers and her moaning his name in ecstasy was the most erotic sound he ever heard.

He watched her as she came down from the high with a wolfish grin on his face. The thought that he brought her that much pleasure was overwhelmingly satisfying to him.

Hermione looked up at him and whispered, "I want to feel you inside me."

That was his undoing. He settled himself in between her thighs and kissed her lips softly. "This is going to hurt at first, love."

Hermione just smiled and wrapped her legs around his thighs as she urged him on. He slid his length in slowly, fighting the urge to thrust hard and fast. She cried out in pain when he broke through her resistance and he paused to let her adjust to the feel of him in her.

Hermione breathed deep through the pain, a few tears leaking from her closed eyes. She knew the pain would dull to more of an ache as her body adjusted, but at the moment it stung like a bitch.

Remus noticed the tears leaking out of her closed eyes and he leant down to kiss them away. He hated to cause her pain, but he was thrilled that he was the first one to touch this uncharted part of her. She would always remember her 'first' and he wanted to make it as good a memory as he could.

After kissing away Hermione's tears, he moved his mouth to hers and kissed her lips with burning passion. He felt her hips move against his and he knew she was ready to continue. His thrusts were slow and soft at first but they gradually increased in speed and roughness as his pleasure took over his senses. He lost himself to the feel of her surrounding him.

Hermione was surprised that it felt so good to have him inside her. At first, she thought the pain would last forever, but now she could feel nothing but the amazing friction caused by Remus' thrusts. She loved it and kept her eyes open to see if the look of pure pleasure was reflected on his face.

He kept his eyes open too and watched Hermione as she experienced making love for the first time…she was truly a vision to him with her eyes clouded with desire, her face scrunched up in pleasure, her lips parted as she moaned and cried out his name. The sight of her watching him and the pleasure he felt as he moved within her was too much and he exploded.

Remus cried out as he came, the words barely registering through the haze of ecstasy that he felt. He convinced himself that he only imagined saying those words when he received no reaction from Hermione and he was torn between relief and regret…relief that he did not say them and regret for the same reason.

Ignoring those thoughts, Remus focused on the afterglow as he rolled to his side and pulled Hermione close to him. She kissed him and snuggled into his chest.

"That was bloody amazing," Remus said as Hermione yawned.

"Yes, it was. I think I need a nap though, shagging is exhausting," Hermione replied with another yawn. "Will stay and nap with me?"

Remus laughed and kissed her before he pulled the covers over them. He wanted nothing more than to hold her and fall asleep with her right now, so there was no way he was going to leave any time soon. "Of course, love."

Hermione closed her eyes and thought about what Remus said as he came. She knew that she shouldn't put too much stock in it, since Lavender and Parvati both told her that guys say things in the heat of the moment that they do not necessarily mean. But, the thought of Remus actually meaning it was too sweet to let go, even if it was a 'heat of the moment' thing.

She let the words roll around in her head, a vision of him saying them repeatedly clear in her mind. She pictured herself saying the words back to him as she drifted off to sleep in Remus' arms, not realizing that she spoke them aloud.

"I love you."

Well, there you have it folks…my first sex scene. And the whole I love you part at the end…well, it might seem rushed, it might not, I'm not sure. All I know is that I am a hopeless romantic and that is what you get when a hopeless romantic writes about her two favorite characters shagging…I actually did not even intend to put that in there, but like I said last chapter, this fic seems to want to write itself.