Chapter 2 –Cards are cardboard they don't have hearts.

Another pointless chapter from the world of Essence of Light and Sheikgoddess

Disclaimer: Don't own yugioh but the stick is ours! muahahahahaha.

Kaiba and Yugi were in the middle of the match of a lifetime. This one match will decide (yet again) who would be world champion. It looked as though Kaiba would win. Yugi was (yet again) down to his last one hundred life points and Kaiba was still at a respectable 2700 and about to deliver the final blow after summoning his ultimate blue eyes white dragon. It is Yugi's turn.

"You should surrender now Yugi, If you know what is good for you. In my next turn I will stop any monster you may draw by playing my swords of reveal…shit forget I said that Ahem I shall order my blue eyes ultimate dragon to wipe out the rest of your life points and I shall be the world champion again! Muahahahahahahaha!"

Thunder cracks, rain starts to fall, collective sweat drop.

"He must still be feeling the effects of his therapy session, the removal of sticks from arses can screw up the brain" Tea whispered to Joey who nodded in understanding.

"I won't surrender!" Shouted Yugi. "Not when I have the heart of the cards on my side"

Kaiba laughed "Heart of the cards, HA HA, HA What heart of the cards. Yugi honestly cards are made of cardboard – they DO NOT have hearts!"

"Really? But Grandpa always told me they did!" Yugi said, tears forming in his eyes.

"Oh grow up!"

After regularly getting his buttons pushed by Yugi, Kaiba decided to push a few buttons of his own.

Flipping up the face of his stylish BEWD watch, Kaiba pushed the big red button labelled 'only push in case of Yugimergency'. The battle thingy disappeared around them and Yugi found himself in an office that looked somewhat like a psychologist's office. Kaiba sat behind the oak desk and Yugi found himself sitting on a red cushioned lounge. Kaibab laced his fingers together over the desk.

"Now Yugi, you don't mind if I call you Yugi do you? Of course you don't. Now Yugi what seems to be the problem?"

Yugi looked confounded.

"Kaiba I don't understand, why am I here?"

Kaiba leaned forward. "Well Yugi you are here because you have a problem. This is a psychologist's office, now lay back and tell me about your childhood."

Yugi laid back obediently. Little did Kaiba realise that Yugi had been waiting several years to tell someone about his childhood. Of course he hadn't envisioned that that someone would be Kaiba.

"Well as you might have noticed I am very short. My shortness came as a side effect of the way I was born. You see, the doctors dropped me on my head and even then I had spiky hair so I bounced straight off my head and onto my feet and being young and fragile my spine was permanently compacted. I'm pretty sire that is also why I have big eyes."

"Oh, yes so interesting please continue. Actually can we just skip to the part where this heart of the cards crap all began, only as it's almost time for lunch and I'm sure you're really hungry so we'll drag this out for as long as we can."

"Actually we just ate."

"Well bugger, we did too. Rightyo then let's just get straight to the part of your life where you started to believe that cards have hearts."

"OK well that probably would have been around the age of seven. My grandpa bought me my first ever pack of Duel Monsters cards and told me to believe on the heart of the cards. Come to think of it I can't really remember why I started believing his bullshit."

"U-HA! Your childish crap began with Grandpa Motou! I knew it! Now we shall arrest him for messing up your head!"

"What!"

"I said we shall arrest your grandpa-"

"I know what you said but you can't just arrest someone for messing with someone's head! You do it all the time why aren't you in jail? HA!"

"That's a very good question. Probably because I'm insanely rich and can buy my way out of everything. Did I mention that I'm also a genius? And I haven't been messing with LITTLE KIDS heads just yours!...oh wait…maybe"

"What are you implying Kaiba?"

"Oh nothing, nothing at all. OK putting other factors aside, your Grandpa made you believe that the cards had heart – THEY DON'T OK! You're obviously going to need more therapy for being such a wimp. I'll be seeing you after I ring the cops and my own therapist."

"You have a therapist?"

"I DO NOT HAVE A THERAPIST!"

"IF YOU HAVE A THERAPIST YOU CAN'T GIVE OTHER PEOPLE THERAPY!"

"I CAN, I WILL AND I AM!"

Kaiba clapped his hands over his mouth with a horrified look on his face.

"Oh my god I sound just like HER!"

Kaiba ran screaming from the room.

"I wonder who HER is?"

'Yugi what are you smirking at?'

"Oh Yami where have you been?"

'Ah…nowhere, now answer my question'

"What question?"

'Don't make me go all pharaoh on you'

"OK, OK Kaiba just ran from the room after saying 'I can, I will and I am'"

'Sounds like something Tea would say'

"Yeah it does, somehow I don't think we're the only ones being subjected to therapy"

'Seems like it, I bet she was going on about the stick up his ass'

"Probably. Doesn't she realise that we super glued it in there after our first duel against him?"

'Apparently not. I really don't think we're the only people with issues around here. I mean we have imagination issues but look at all the people we have met with friend issues. I think it's time we ran some therapy sessions of our own'

Yugi smiled wickedly in reply.

Author's notes

SG: Now I know the last chapter was written nine months ago but you've gotten this far so keep going

Essence of Light: nods head There has been a change of plans – Making friends, the do's and don'ts is next chapter

SG: Which was kind of obvious from the start but anyway…oh to rustyspoons I'm sorry but my computer wouldn't let me load chapter 11 please don't shoot me.

EL: lol. Happy Valentine's Day everyone flowers for all.

SG: So EL how about we go shoot whoever started this crappy day…oh wait they'd be already dead.

EL: Completely agree. Loads gun looks like we're going time travelling. Ta ta. Please review.