Basketball Blunders

Disclaimer: "Come off it, Greenie! This bunch of heroes is real good at sitting around collecting their underoos royalties!" - Hawkeye, Avengers #224

Chapter 6: Attack of Metallix!

The penthouse

"Okay, the first thing we should do is check for security." Rock 'n' Roll, a blonde Joe machine gunner, told the Joe who was standing with him. They were standing on a window washer's platform outside the penthouse that the businessman and mall magnate Wally "The Whip" Farriss. Disguised as window washers, the two soldiers were hoping to infiltrate the room and find something they could use to get him arrested.

"Uhm, Rock 'n' Roll…" Firestorm, the red-haired Joe demolitions expert, started to object. "The man don't own this hotel. It's not his private penthouse. I doubt there's much security. If he's got anything that the really needs to be kept safe, he'd have the hotel put them in those special safety deposit boxes they have downstairs."

"Wow, Firestorm. I'm impressed." Rock 'n' Roll nodded his head in a complimentary manner. "You actually scoped out this place earlier?"

"Nah." Firestorm shrugged. "I saw Total Recall on the science fiction channel last night. The hotel in the movie had safety deposit boxes."

"Ay carumba…" Rock 'n' Roll groaned, rubbing the bridge of his nose with two fingers in annoyance. He then let out a sigh. "We might as well go inside a take a look at what the Whip has in his apartment. I doubt BR can keep him distracted forever." Rock 'n' Roll was referring to Blast Radius, Firestorm's pet Macaque monkey. Very smart, the little monkey could communicate with sign language, and it was very good at laying explosives. In fact, the monkey loved explosions and fire as much as his partner did.

"I dunno." Firestorm shrugged. "BR can keep a distraction going for a rather long time." As if fate was proving his point, an explosion was heard downstairs, accompanied by Oklahoman-accented cursing, screaming, and monkey screeches. "See what I mean?"

"Oh, my God…" Rock 'n' Roll groaned. "Let's just go in, find stuff, and then get out of here before the monkey ends up completely trashing the hotel."

The youth center

"Alright!" Terrell Mason whooped as he managed to slip through the defense of a couple little kids, and nail a slam dunk. "Oh yeah! Whoo!" He clapped his hands and started to dance. "Oh yeah! The New Magic is here!"

"Yo, jabroni!" Kyle smirked. "The Thunderbolt wants to know, shouldn't you have permission from the old Magic before you can call yourself that?"

"Must you have a smart-alec retort to everything, Thunderbolt?" Terrell mock snorted, throwing Kyle the basketball, which the Boston native easily caught.

"It's the Thunderbolt's forte, jabroni!" Kyle laughed. "Don't knock it unless you try it."

"Here comes the testosterone again." Ali chuckled, playing Kyle's video game. "OH YEAH! DIE, SPACE INVADERS!"

"Look who's talking?" Kyle chuckled. A little kid, around 11, poked Terrell's hip.

"What's up?" Terrell asked the kid.

"How can I be super-fast, like you?" The kid inquired.

"Get doused by chemicals that were struck by lightning, kid. Works every time." Kyle quipped.

"Oh, stop Kyle. That's just silly." Ali shook her head. "Besides, if that happened for real, you'd end up either in the hospital, or dead."

"Hey, it works in the comics." Kyle shrugged.

"I'm sure you'd know, man." Terrell teased.

"It's okay to be tough and still read comic books." Kyle shook his head. "Just look at Rob Van Dam." A sound like a bomb dropping was heard. "What in the-?"

KABLAM!

"LOOK OUT!" Ali screamed as the ceiling broke wide open thanks to somebody smashing through it, and rubble fell on the ground.

"Get into the locker rooms and stay there!" Terrell ordered the fleeing kids, who immediately complied. A figure rose to its feet in the center of the crater it made when it slammed through the ceiling into the floor. It was the powerhouse rhino-like mutant codenamed Rhinox.

"Who…?" A confused Ali blinked.

"Call me Rhinox." Rhinox smirked.

"Rhinox? I know you!" Kyle exclaimed, pointing at the Jamaican mutant. "The Thunderbolt's brother fought you and the rest of you clowns in Chicago!" (1)

"Huh?" Terrell blinked. Rhinox looked at the young Boston-born electrokinetic.

"Brother?"

"Yeah." Kyle smirked, crossing his arms. "The Thunderbolt's older brother. The Red Dragon." Rhinox's eyes widened.

"Your brother took on Diablo himself."

"Diablo?" Ali blinked. "Isn't that Spanish for 'Devil'?"

"It is." Kyle smirked at the lightengale. "And it's appropriate for that clown. You see, Rhino-boy here is a member of Metallix, a mutant street gang and rock band. Their leader is called Diablo. He's some red-skinned devil-like freak with powers like that Hulk monkey."

"Oh, yeah!" Ali realized. "I heard about that from Rahne, who heard it from Kitty."

"You have got to be kidding me." Terrell groaned.

"Girls." Kyle shook his head. "Always gossiping."

"Hey, excuse me?" Rhinox waved to get the three West Coast Misfits' attention. "Hello? I'm here to kick your butts, man!"

"Yeah, we know." Kyle shrugged. "We were just thinking of a way to tick you off!" As quick as the lightning he could create and control, Kyle's fists sparked and crackled with the electrical power the young Bostonian's body constantly generated. With a yell, he fired a blast of thunder at Rhinox, which formed a construct of a ram's head. The construct slammed into Rhinox's gut, sending the powerhouse mutant through a wall.

"Aw, Don is going to be ticked…" Alison winced.

"He started it." Kyle shrugged. "If anyone asks, the Thunderbolt'll just tell him Rhino-boy there never heard of doors."

"Oh…" Rhinox moaned from outside. "Power just has to run in the family, huh?"

"Heh." Kyle smirked. "What an easy…" With a whistle, several rings made of energy flew through the ceiling hole, hitting the ground nearby the West Coast Misfit members, with explosive results.

KABLAM! KABLAM! KABLAM!

"Yi!" Ali screamed as the explosion knocked her to the ground. However, she was able to recover quickly, thanks to her training. Her body converted the sound of the explosion into light, as evidenced by her body flashing.

"Whoa!" Terrell zipped out of the way before he could be harmed. Kyle protected himself with an electrical construct of a shield. "What was that?"

"The Thunderbolt wanted to crack a wedding joke, but he couldn't think of one." Kyle joked. The Metallix member known as Ringer leapt down to battle.

"Helloooooooo, Malibu!" He crowed, throwing more explosive rings.

"Whoa!" Terrell called upon his powers to create winds to deflect the rings. Kyle knocked a few away with an electrical construct of a baseball bat.

"Heh. They should've signed me to the Red Sox, jabroni! The Thunderbolt would've gotten them another pennant!" While they were distracted…

"Hey!" Ali exclaimed. Ringer caught her with a chain made of solid energy rings, and used them to drag her towards him. He then held her.

"Hey, baby." He smirked. "Come to Ringer." He then leaned forward to kiss the scowling blonde.

"Creep!" Ali snapped, kneeing Ringer in the groin. She freed herself from Ringer while the mutant howled in pain.

"God!" He wheezed. "Women don't like being complimented these days." Rhinox ran inside.

"Ringer!" He exclaimed. He growled and ripped a bench out of the stands.

The Whip's penthouse

"Darn it!" Rock 'n' Roll groused, kicking the carpeted ground. He and Firestorm stood in the middle of the penthouse. "We searched from pillar to post, and we couldn't find anything!"

"Maybe we should've found an office or something." Firestorm suggested with a shrug.

"I doubt the man has an office in this town." Rock 'n' Roll groaned. The two Joes didn't notice a glob of what appeared to be liquid metal ooze out of a vase on the desk. The liquid metal blob slithered toward the two Joes, and then reformed into the silver-haired Mercury. He coughed, causing the two Joes to turn.

"Excuse me, gentlemen." Mercury crossed his arms and smirked. "Did you two have business here?"

Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes are in trouble! What insanity will happen next? Can the two Joes subdue Mercury? Can the West Coast Misfits beat Rhinox and Winger? Will the Whip do anything? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!

(1) – See "Rockin' In The Southside!"