Story Begins…

And so, our story begins. Prince Herbert has selected his wife to be (Princess #2 a.k.a. Frogette). His quest begins on a dirt road (space between tall grass on someone's lawn), just outside of his kingdom (a lawn he does not usually reside in). He has been walking for a while; his attempts to hire a carriage had been fruitless, because, his mother had apparently called ahead of time and told all the carriage drivers, taxi drivers, etc. to NOT allow Herbert to hire them (on pain of an excruciating death after torture by her highness). Tired and hungry, Herbert stopped on the side of the road for a snack. Halfway through his scrumptious cricket-with-mayo sandwich, he found an old frog woman staring down at him.

"Yes-s-s-s-s…." Herbert said, having been put in a very awkward position by this turn of events. "What is it that you want?"

"Uh….." said the strange woman. "That's my tree."

"It does not, as far as I can tell, have your name on it," said Herbert rather annoyed. If his day hadn't been bad enough, now a strange old frog lady/hobo/lunatic had decided he couldn't eat there because he was under what she imagined to be her tree. "Get lost!"

"No."

"What do you mean "no"?" Herbert asked, anger building. "This is not your tree. I am not moving. You will have to find somewhere else to go… Now GET LOST LADY!"

"No."

The one-sided argument became heated as Herbert jumped up, threw his sandwich to the dirt, and started yelling for the lady to leave (apparently violent, angry arguments are genetic in the royal family). The old lady/lunatic/hobo's continuing to answer "no", during Herbert's vain attempts to persuade her to move, did not help the situation. So, to passersby, the two looked like an insane group of street urchins freaking out over a tree to sleep under (which was probably the reason the lady/lunatic/hobo refused to leave).

Unfortunately for Herbert, he just happened to be in the neighboring kingdom of his good friend Count Lizard. And, as luck would have it, it was Count Lizard whose carriage happened to go by in the middle of Herbert's tirade with the hobo/lunatic lady. Calling for the carriage to halt, Count Lizard, leapt from his carriage, and fell flat on his face, only to right himself a second later and scurry up to the two arguing under the tree.

"Young miss…" Count started, "I have come to – "

The Count was cut off from his fancy and probably long narrative as to his crusade and reasons for valiantly fighting off Herbert, at Herbert's exclamation. "YOUNG!" Herbert screeched, brinking on a sudden and violent reaction to this absurd comment. "How in the world can you call this lunatic/hobo/old-frog-lady young?"

The Count, seemingly unfazed, continued on, "I have come (exaggerated cough) to save you from this dastardly villain!" (The lunacy of this statement not also, even coming close to fazing him) "He is obviously the evil prince of our neighboring kingdom…"

"He took my tree," the lady/lunatic/hobo said.

"Of course… he has taken your tree!" The count exclaimed, as if he had come to an amazingly knowledgeable and bright discovery. "Well then, he must be punished."

"Are you BOTH insane!" Herbert yelled. Internally, Herbert was beginning to question his own sanity. Was it just him? Was this royal-pain really going to fight him/punish him for trying to eat a sandwich under this hobo/lunatic/old frog lady's supposed tree? What was the world coming to? Were the neighboring kingdoms really so different as the one he had been brought up in? Were his parents, maybe, leaders of a new order, trying to establish a new kind of kingdom, where these problems, like the one he was currently involved in, were just trivial? WHAT WAS GOING ON?

Herbert was interrupted from his internal thoughts and ponderings by the Count, who had begun to wave his sword around rather threateningly. Although, only threatening because of the fact that he obviously had no clue what he was doing. This forced Herbert to have to dodge unwieldy swings of the Count's sword. Apparently, the Count was supposed to be demonstrating to the lady/lunatic/hobo how he would slay the "villain" and save her and her tree from his dastardly evils. So, seeing the two lunatics involved in their absurd commentary, Herbert let go of his anger (because the two were obviously both lunatics) and decided it was time to leave; he left the two idiots talking in the middle of the road, and headed on his way.