Oh goodness, thought Herbert, another funny farm candidate… Herbert took one look at ANTony's flunkies, however, and decided to keep the statement to himself. They looked a tad bit more threatening than Count Lizard's flunkies (A: because there were more of them & B: they had stingers & C: they obviously knew how to handle weaponry… which we cannot say about Count Lizard or know for sure about his flunkies, since we never actually found them firing a gun).
While Herbert was analyzing the situation, which looked grim from whichever viewpoint you looked through, Prince ANTony commenced his royal-formal-speech-about-how-he-was-going-to-rid-the-kingdom-of-evil/Herbert-speech.
"You!" ANTony yelled. "You killed Count Lizard… (mumbling under his breath, "and that's not altogether a bad thing but…") and he trailed off. "Right-o! You are a enemy, a foreign invader, and you have taken the liberty of those around you. And, since you are my sworn enemy… no offense –
"None taken," Herbert replied. Maybe this guy is just angry I'm here. Maybe he'll give me an escort out of his kingdom. Maybe he just wants to look good for his subjects. Looking around and finding the area devoid of anything you could call "subjects" Herbert lost hope.
ANTony continued, "Therefore, you will never, ever, if I have a say in it, and I do since I'm the prince of the area…" Again, ANTony trailed off.
Maybe it's ADD. Herb thought. That would make for a very interesting ruler.
As Herbert pondered the idea of what the kingdom was like with an ADD ruler, Prince ANTony seemed to get back on track (maybe it had to do with the flunkies prodding him…and handing him some note-cards…).
Like a child 6th grader presenting a speech he made no sense, spoke to low and really, really, fast. However, the parts the could be made out sounded something like a train wreck.
"So you… (cough)…(inaudible speech)…I will fight (fire burning in his eyes, raises his gun and screams…very banshee-like)… justice for everything you've done… (begins crying randomly…)…jail (low and soft)…take him! (with a strength in his voice that had not yet been seen)"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, guys… calm down…" Herb said backing away from the barricade. "I haven't even entered your kingdom yet… and um…(Herbert paused)…did you mention something about jail?" His last word coming out as a strangled squeak.
With a hyper shriek (apparently Prince ANTony is also bipolar) ANTony said, "WE CAN FIX THAT!"
And with that, a flunky reached over the barricade, picked Herbert up in 1 hand, and threw him to Prince ANTony's side of the barricade. The flunky took his gun (much bigger than any seen in this story yet… even though ants are more lethal with their stingers…which they have yet to use) and quickly applied a crack on the back of Herbert's head. Of course this caused Herbert to pass out, unconscious to the dirt road. "Oh…" Prince ANTony said, realizing Herbert's last question had not been answered. An evil, maniacal, A.D.D. with bipolar disorder, grin spread across the Prince's face, an evil glint in his eye, and laughing his villain laugh, ANTony said, "Yes Herbert…JAIL!"
Skipping ahead, Herb found himself woken by a bump in the road. He was lying on the floor of a large vehicle which sported the words "JAIL FOR ENEMIES OF THE KINGDOM (NEW ANTCATAZ CRIMINALS TRANSPORT SERVICE)". ANTcataz? Herbert wondered. The prison? Then memory of what happened came flooding back. Uttering a stream of obscenities, Herbert pounded on the back doors. A futile effort, for the doors were reinforced, metal, and barred.
The truck pulled into a form of garage, where Herbert was forcefully removed from the vehicle and carried kicking and screaming (quite literally) towards a large ant, apparently a guard and one of Prince ANTony's flunkies. A bracelet was clamped down on his wrist and started to glow immediately (Ants are very high-tech… They take advantage of modern technology, which makes the palace end up looking more like a Star Trek set than a palace). The guard nodded to the truck drivers, who let Herbert go. Then the guard headed towards 2 huge, buzzing, electronic doors.
Sensing it was time to "get the heck outta dodge" Herbert sprinted away towards the dirt road not far off, only to be stopped a large volt of electronic charge surging through his veins. Herbert turned around, back towards the guard, who was smiling and waving something that looked like a remote in the hair. Gah! Ants and their modern technology… And I thought after Count Lizard I was home free… Herbert thought.
Herbert headed back to where the guard was standing, waiting. "Go!" the guard shouted huskily. He pushed Herbert through some revolving doors and headed down a narrow corridor that looked similar to a hospital or mental institution with bars on all the rooms, instead of doors and windows.
"Food comes twice a day. Work starts at 2 AM. The warden will come for you," the guard said as if he'd said it a million times before.
Reaching a door at the end, the guard buzzed himself in. Herbert felt like choking as he followed, smoke and a pungent smell of decay and rot stunk up the room.
"Oh… This is your new roommate for the next million years," said the guard. And with that, he left. An short electronic buzz, and Herbert was trapped within those heavily guarded, reinforced, steel walls, with bars.
Remembering the guard's last comment about a roommate, Herbert peered, squinted and cocked his head, to see where his roommate could possibly be. There, seated in the back corner, smoke surrounding his head in big peace signs (peace signs?), and dressed like a hippy who didn't know the movement was over, sat what looked like a bug on drugs. Looking closely, Herbert found himself looking into the high face of a daddy long-leg, sitting on a pile high of what appeared to be bags and bags and bags of drugs.
The daddy long-legs, apparently recognizing a newcomer slurred his speech as he spoke, "Hey! I'm Daddy Long-Legs…" However, if you want to know what it sounded like, it was more like, "Yo--- (nodding his head back and forth, without skipping a beat on his blowing of peace signs from whatever drug he was smoking into the air) Yurrr the cat I'ma sharing the pad with? (pause) I'm Daddy Lo---ng Legs…"
Herbert eyes rolled back in his head and, for the second time that day, Herbert passed out.