Author Note: The first of two – the second will be at the end just to give descriptions of some of the weapons mentioned. If I've been inaccurate with the weapons, please feel free to tell me. I'd like to thank Meathead for the suggestion for Raph's weapons, he was giving me the most problems and I was beginning to think he'd be keeping the sai. Thanks also to Rat Queen Valarian and Longing for Leo for further weapon suggestions – both will be making appearances in the fic, although Leo's weapons won't show up just yet. And as always, thanks to everyone who reviewed. I guess it shows that I'm having a lot of fun with this fic!

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Raphael adjusted his beanie cap and frowned. He hated dressing in all these clothes but Master Saki had been adamant. If he was going to go out with the Purple Dragons, then he was going to have to go in disguise. The fact that he was let out with the Dragons at all had come as a surprise. Raph needed to go out from time to time, blow off some steam, be outside in the world instead of hiding away in Foot headquarters, but he had never expected his Sensei to allow it.

It was Hun who had argued his corner. Unbeknown to Raph, he had reminded Saki that it might be a good idea to let the turtle think he was getting his own way and at the same time consolidating the Dragons power. Raph's loyalty was to the Foot clan, but if hanging with the Dragons on occasion made him happy then it didn't hurt their plans. Plus Raph was tough. Some of the more dangerous of the Dragons plans could use the extra muscle he brought to the gang. And if Hun could divide his time between the Foot and the Dragons, then so could Raph.

Some of the Dragons had been getting into trouble of late. A masked vigilante had been attacking them on their jobs, beating the hell out of them and leaving them lying in pools of their own blood. For that reason, both Hun and Raph had opted to go on this job and Raph was hoping that the masked man would show up. It had been a while since he had been able to get into a really good fight. He let his fingers brush the handles of his sun and moon daggers, the weapon Master Saki thought would most suit his temperament when he deemed them ready to advance in their training. He'd love for some baseball bat wielding asshole to try to take him down. Raph could slice through the guy's carotid before he knew what had hit him.

"Done here," said one of the Dragons as he exited the warehouse carrying the last of the boxes. Raph sighed as he followed them to the van. No action for him tonight and he had really been looking forward to kicking the hell out of some do-gooder punk. The thought of going back to the Dragons hideout and listen to them all congratulate themselves was not something he wanted. He was too tense. He'd end up getting into another scrap with one of them and have to put up with another reminder from Hun about keeping the gang on their side.

"I'm gonna split," he announced to Hun. "See ya back at Foot HQ."

"Sure," said Hun absently, checking out the haul. Raph waited a moment for Hun to try to persuade him to go back with the Dragons and when he didn't, took off, leaping onto the fire escape and heading home via the rooftops. There was something about travelling high above the citizens of New York without them realising he was there that made him feel free, temporarily ridding him of his troubles.

His main problem at the moment was the way he felt about the Dragons. Robbing warehouses and shops? It was so petty. Plus he knew that many of the gang weren't above purse snatching and random beatings to innocent passers by and Raph wasn't into that at all. Proving his fighting ability against an equally gifted or heavily armed opponent was one thing but attacking some woman on her way home from work was hardly a challenge and wasn't even likely to yield a big payoff. It was more an action of the desperate, or some one trying to make themselves feel tough by intimidating some one who couldn't fight back. And the Dragons were hardly desperate.

At the same time, at least his association with the Dragons got him out of Foot headquarters for a while. He knew his temper was starting get out of control, but he was so frustrated at not being able to go out into the world like normal people. It didn't seem to bother his brothers as much as it did him but he knew it got to them too sometimes. That was why Master Saki had tried to accommodate them as much as possible, allow them some semblance of normality by letting them mix with the Foot soldiers and various others. Donnie was delighted by his new role at Stocktronics, Leo had always liked going on training runs with Karai before she left for Japan and teaching the Foot soldiers the art of invisibility, Mikey had been known to sneak out of the skyscraper with some of the Foot and go to a movie or an arcade and Raph had his illegal excursions with the Dragons. But it still wasn't enough for Raph. He felt trapped.

His conflicting feelings about his Sensei weren't helping his state of mind. He knew that Master Saki had rescued them, taken them in and taught them to be ninja, shielded them from a world that wouldn't understand their differences to other people. But he couldn't bring himself to trust him, not anymore. Not after what had happened to Mikey. Up until that day Raph had been protective of his brother, who seemed the most innocent of all of them. Afterward, Mikey had withdrawn from them all and refused point blank to discuss what had happened. It was Raph's opinion that if there was one moment when the four began to drift apart, that was it. Every time they looked at Mikey the message was reinforced; don't cross the boss. Or else.

Seeing Foot headquarters on the next block, he dropped to the road and walked in like any normal person would, safe in the knowledge that his clothes would deter too much attention to him. The digitised lock recognised his hand print (hard to mistake it for one of the Foot) and let him in. It was still early and Raph decided to see if any of his brothers were free for some quality time on a games console or for some sparring. He needed to do something to work off the anger he had been saving for the vigilante who never showed up.

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Donatello put the DVD in the machine and sat on the sofa beside Mikey, still preoccupied. He had the feeling he had done something stupid by saving April from the mousers. He was sure that none of them had caught his image but still…the woman could seriously compromise the mouser operation, especially if she put two and two together when Stockman put the next phase of the plan into action and used the mousers to get into bank vaults. He could only hope that she had taken his advice and left town – and what if she hadn't? What if she decided to shoot her mouth off and Hun grabbed her, interrogating her? Some one that fragile and unused to fighting couldn't hold out for long against Hun's particular form of questioning and she might tell him about her mysterious saviour. After that it was only a matter of time before they worked out who had aided her.

Some way to show his gratitude to his Sensei.

In spite of that, Donnie couldn't bring himself to regret what he had done. Terrorising the helpless seemed wrong to him and in spite of endangering their secret, he would do the same thing again. Honouring ones Master was all well and good, but Master Saki had known nothing about April. Maybe if he found out, Donatello could pass it off as trying to get one up on Stockman.

"You gonna eat that slice or just stare at it?"

"Huh?" Donnie frowned as he realised he'd been holding his pizza for the last five minutes without taking a bite. "Oh right. I was just thinking about a problem with the mousers."

Mikey snatched another slice from the box between them while Donnie began chewing on his original piece. There was silence for a few minutes.

"Mikey?"

"Hmmm?"

"Do you think… would Sensei ever, y'know, get really mad if we messed up? Maybe make us leave?"

Mikey laughed without humour, turning to face his brother and showing the right hand side of his face. The scars there were shallower than where they began on his left shoulder but were still obvious, disfiguring. "Don't you think I'm the wrong person to ask?"

"Sorry Mike." Donnie tried to cover his embarrassment. It was easy sometimes to forget how Mikey got hurt.

"It's OK." Mikey checked the pizza box and came up empty. "Why do you ask? You mess up somehow?"

"No! No, I didn't do anything. I was just thinking."

Mikey nodded and turned his attention back to the film, leaving Donnie feeling like a traitor. When exactly had they stopped trusting each other, confiding their secrets and problems? After Mikey had been injured and refused to ever mention it again? When Leo had been promoted to training the new Foot soldiers? When Raph had begun hanging out with the Purple Dragons? He honestly couldn't remember. It felt as if one day they would trust each other with their lives, then overnight had begun suspecting each others motives. They all tried, but it was like going through the motions. And Mikey would be the brother most likely to understand what Donnie had done. God help him if he tried confiding in Leo or Raph.

Leo chose that moment to knock on the door and enter the room. "Been looking for you guys. Mind if I join you?"

"Grab a seat," said Donnie. There was no chance of him talking to Mikey now. If Leo knew that Donnie had done something to endanger the Foot, he'd never hear the end of it. He might even tell Sensei. "You haven't missed much."

"Except the pizza," said Mikey.

"What?" Leo feigned outrage. "You ate my share of the pizza?"

"Wise man say sharing is good, but never let pizza go cold." Mikey gave Leo a grin but it was a ghost of the smile he used to wear a few years ago.

Going through the motions thought Donnie.

Raph turned up half an hour later, bursting in without knocking. "Hey guys."

"Hey Raph," said Donnie absently. "Have fun tonight?"

"No." Raph threw himself onto the nearest available seat and folded his arms. "Anyone up for some sparring practice after the movie?"

"Sure thing," said Mikey. "Gonna whip your ass!"

"Not even on your best day," said Raph with a smirk.

Donnie barely heard the bickering. His mind was still on the possible consequences of his heroics.

Raph threw a cushion at Leo. "Hey, you're quiet tonight."

"Hmm?" Leo caught the cushion in one hand before registering what Raph had said. "Oh, it's nothing. Just thinking."

"About katas or something," said Mikey, rolling his eyes.

"Nope," said Raph with an evil glint in his eyes. "About Karai."

"I was not," said Leo a little too defensively.

Mikey did his best Jamaican accent, which was truly horrible. "No woman, no Karai…"

Leo hurled the cushion in Mikey's direction, managing to look embarrassed, amused and outraged at the same time. Mikey batted it away, straight into the side of Donnie's head. Donnie seized on it and began hitting Mikey over the head, glad of the distraction from his other thoughts. It was times like this when he felt as close to his brothers as he had ever been. But the thought of telling them what he had done – he wasn't sure. He loved them, of course he did, but he wasn't sure that he could trust them.

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Mikey had been up sparring with Raph until the early hours of the morning, but he was unsurprised when he jolted awake at five am. He had been dreaming. Again.

He'd been having the same dream for as long as he could remember, at least once a month, sometimes as often as once a week when he was under stress. After he got his scars, he'd dreamed every night for eight days and the lack of sleep as much as the injuries had made him irritable and depressed.

It was always the same. He was in a dark, cold place, cowering in a corner. In the background he could hear distant water dripping. Hun was towering over him, laughing maliciously. In one hand he held something or some one, but Mikey had never been able to see who it was. He was aware of Leo on one side of him and Donnie on the other, both tensed in fear. Behind Hun were Foot soldiers, dressed in black, also seeming at least ten feet tall. He opened his mouth to shout something about Raphael and Hun would turn to look at him – and that was when he woke up. The dream never failed to stress him and there was no more sleep to be had after he'd had it.

Dragging himself out of bed, he wandered into the bathroom next door to wash his face, trying to regain his senses. He knew he wasn't going back to sleep but it didn't mean he wasn't tired. Grabbing a towel to dry off, he caught sight of his face in the mirror and looked away quickly. He never looked at his reflection if he could help it. Two long scars ran across his body, beginning on his left shoulder where they were deepest and most vivid, running sideways to his neck, a gap in the scarring on the underside of his chin before they began again on the tip, running up his right cheek, turning his mouth into a permanent grimace, tapering out as the innermost one reached the corner of his eye. He was lucky, he supposed. Another half an inch to the left and he would have lost the orb.

The day he received the scars had been the worst of his life. The four of them had been preparing for their training session with Master Saki, learning how to fend off attacks from others. Everyone was supposed to be unarmed. Mikey had been in a fine mood, joking and laughing, a smart-ass comment for everything his brothers said. For a wonder, they hadn't been exasperated with his irreverence. Even Leo had been sniggering. And the damn session hadn't even begun. They were just lining up ready when Master Saki had picked the metal claw that made up part of his armour off his desk and lashed out at Mikey before he could even wonder what was going on. Immediately he had felt blood pour from the wounds, hearing it dripping on the floor as it flowed out. He had clapped a hand to his face, unable to work out how it had happened.

He had been nine years old.

Raphael had shaken off the shock first, taking a couple of steps toward Mikey and exclaiming over the wound before Master Saki had stepped between them.

"It is a mere scratch." Sensei's voice had been cold. "Kindly return to your position."

"You hurt Mikey!" Raph had sounded horrified and defiant all at once and Mikey knew that if Raph lost his temper with their Sensei, he was going to get into trouble too.

"I'm alright Raph," he said, his mouth feeling odd as he spoke. It was only later he discovered the claw that Master Saki had used to cut him had sliced it open. "It's just a scratch."

"It doesn't look like a scratch," said Leo quietly. "It looks serious."

"It's just a scratch," insisted Mikey, verging on desperation.

Master Saki nodded his approval. "There are two lessons to be learned here. The first is that if you are standing, you are not too badly injured to continue fighting."

Leo's eyes flashed defiance at Master Saki. "What's the second?"

Master Saki smirked and brought his face close to Michelangelo's. "Grow up."

Mikey smiled sadly as he remembered the rest of that session. He had grown up all right. The training had gone on only another fifteen minutes, and most of that they had spent leaving tacky footprints painted in his blood on the floor. His brothers had been pale with horror and fear, not quite daring to defy their Sensei but worried for their brother. It seemed like an age when Mikey had finally given in to the dizziness and didn't get up after being knocked off his feet. Master Saki had ended the session and waited for the turtles to bow to him before leaving them to haul Mikey to the resident doctor to be stitched up. He had lost a lot of blood and the doctor had debated a transfusion, but eventually decided against it, unsure how a mutant might react to such a thing. Master Saki had insisted on Mikey being at the practice the next day, no rest for such a trifling injury, and after a while the other three seemed to work their way through their resentment, forgetting that their brother had ever looked any different or how he might have gotten the scars. Or so it seemed to Mikey.

Sometimes he hated them for it.

He knew it was wrong of him, but he couldn't help it. He had felt like the odd one out for years. Master Saki encouraged Leo's dedication to his training, nurtured Raph's destructive streak and helped Donnie find a place he could advance his engineering skills. Mikey was a good fighter, had mastered the difficult chigiriki techniques that eluded his brothers, but had none of the passion for ninjitsu that Leo and Raph showed and he wasn't useful like Donnie. He had nothing to offer.

Get off the self-pity streak already!

Walking out of the bathroom, he decided to go and see if any of the kunoichi were awake yet. The male Foot ninja always lay in late, but there was nearly always at least one girl doing something devious with poisons and he could do with some company if just to keep his mind off his troubles.

Sure enough, in the part of the Foot headquarters where most of the kunoichi hung out were two girls, one dozing on the couch, the other idly playing with a tessen. Glancing up, the girl with the tessen brightened. "Hey Mikey!"

"Hey Yuriko." Mikey dropped himself into a seat nearby. "What ya doing?"

"I'm making a hit tonight, just waiting to get in some practice." Yuriko flipped her wrist and the tessen opened out. Mikey was impressed. Even knowing it was a deadly weapon, it looked like an inoffensive fan. "If Kino ever brings the rations for solitary."

"Why are you taking them their rations?"

Yuriko made a disgusted noise. "I lost a bet. I just know that little shit cheated somehow, but until I work out how I'm stuck doing his jobs."

"I'll take them," said Mikey.

"You?" Yuriko gave him a surprised look. "You've never done it before."

"It's taking a few meals to a few rooms. How hard can it be?"

"You hate going near solitary."

Mikey shrugged, not replying. In truth, he wanted Yuriko to get in as much practice as she could before the hit tonight. His greatest fear was that one day some one would get the drop on one of his friends when they were off on Foot business and end up dead. Yuriko was going to kill someone tonight and if she was slightly off, she could be the one who died. So far, neither him nor his brothers had been on a mission where there were likely to be fatalities, although Raph's sideline with the Purple Dragons was causing him some concern. And he knew it was only a matter of time before they too were all on some dangerous mission and maybe they wouldn't all come back.

"Sure, thanks," said Yuriko eventually. "There are two people in regular solitary, one in high security. Just remember not to talk to them. And don't tell Kino."

"Tell Kino what?" Kino chose that moment to walk in, shoving a cart with trays of unidentifiable gunk on.

"She's got a crush on you," said Mikey promptly.

"Mikey!" Yuriko threw the tessen so it embedded in the wall just above his head.

"Um, I think I'll leave you guys to it," muttered Kino, hurrying out. Mikey sniggered as Yuriko shot him an irritated glance.

"I think that made his day," he grinned. Yuriko made a threatening gesture and Mikey decided it might just be time to go give those in solitary their breakfast. He grabbed the handle of the cart and made himself scarce.

"The mighty ninja on another top-secret mission," he murmured ruefully, eyeing the occupied rooms. Solitary stretched for an entire corridor, with a longer corridor leading off from it where Mikey had never been, known as the high security section. Here was where the members of the Foot clan were segregated for their failures or insolence. Mikey had been here more times than he could count. Mostly Master Saki chose to mete out punishment in a more physical manner but sometimes it wasn't enough. Mikey had heard rumours about people the Foot had captured being held here for interrogation and although he could well believe that Master Saki would use such methods to elicit information about his enemies, he wasn't sure that Sensei would bother bringing them back to Foot headquarters for something like that. Too risky.

Only three people to look out for today. The first was in Mikey's usual solitary room, a kunoichi, gossip within the clan being that she had been seen making her escape by the wife of a man she was supposed to seduce and then poison. The second was in the room next to it, a ninja who had inadvertently stabbed himself in the leg with a kama. Leo himself had sent him there, announcing that he couldn't stand to look at the kid until he had calmed down.

Mikey opened the doors and dumped the food in front of the disgraced Foot members, giving them a comforting smile. If there was one thing he was familiar with, it was messing up.

The third meal looked lonely on the cart and Mikey wandered down the corridor toward high security, mildly curious as to why anyone would be kept confined there. Turning the corner, he saw a closed door at the far end of the corridor and realised that was his final destination. The lights were muted down here and found himself reverting to his ninja training automatically, abandoning the squeaky cart and carrying the tray silently to the door.

The door was another surprise. The other members of solitary were in simple rooms with a key card lock on them. This one was much more complicated, needing a palm scan before the door would open. Mikey realised his print would be unlikely to open the door, but fortunately there was a hatch set in the door for the tray to go through which worked on the same system as the doors further along the corridor. Opening it, he placed the tray on the shelf within.

"Breakfast!" he announced with forced cheer. The oppressive atmosphere was getting to him. This guy must have done something seriously wrong to end up here.

A pair of eyes appeared suddenly at the hatch, startling him. He could make out nothing about the person within save for the brown irises that looked back at him. He stood his ground, refusing to show just how unnerved he was.

"Michelangelo…"

Mikey's eyes widened. "How the shell do you know my name? Who are you?"

"It has been a long time," continued the person within, a man by the sound of the voice although Mikey had never heard a rustier, less used intonation. "But I am glad to see that you are alright. And your brothers? They are also thriving?"

"Wh…what do you know about my brothers?" Mikey didn't know what to think. He knew he shouldn't stay and listen to this person – he was probably an enemy of Master Saki, trying to talk his way out of captivity – but there was something compelling him to remain. Something about the voice was familiar…

"We have met, a long time ago. Before you came to this place."

"I don't know what you're talking about! I've always lived here!"

There was a pause and Mikey tried to make out further details of the person. It was no good. Apart from the whiteness of his eyes, his face was shrouded in darkness.

"Your face. Did Oruku Saki do that?"

Mikey reached up to touch his scars, before reality came crashing in. If he was caught speaking with the prisoner, he could be in serious trouble. Master Saki would go ballistic! Without replying to the question, he turned and raced away from the door, snatching at the cart as he passed it and dragging it noisily away. The eyes stared through the hatch for long minutes after he had departed, the sigh from within the room unheard by anyone.

"My son…"

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Author Note: Sun and Moon daggers are actually a Chinese rather than a Japanese weapon, a two-bladed implement with a semi-circle handle. When I saw them, I knew they had to be Raph's new weapon.

Chigiriki is a two-foot long stick with a two-foot chain attached. At the other end of the chain is a ball with spikes, kinda like a mace.

Kunoichi is what female ninja were sometimes called. A tessen looks like a fan but can actually be used as a club or a sharpened for use as a blade. I love the idea of this weapon, I'm not sure why.