Disclaimer: I do not own 'The Zeta Project'. I do not own any of its characters. I deeply appreciate Robert Goodman as the creator of 'The Zeta Project' and all 'The Zeta Project' team. So it's just a fan fic.
This is a story, which takes place after 'Hicksburg' episode. It's my gift for you for Valentine's Day.
As in all of my stories, here Zee has a material covering over his synthoid's body. More details about this idea, you can find in Chapter Three of my fanfic "The Nettle's Shirt', book 1 of 'You Need Me".
As English is not my native language I want to thank TheRavenHawk for the editing work on this story.
The Kiss
by Iglika
Bright white snow all around us, half covering the high rocks and pine forests surrounding us. The clear blue, frozen winter sky above us. The deserted road in front of us. And our car, moving fast away from Hicksburg.
Yes, it was still Hicksburg to me, although I had called Mr. Morgan "Dad" for the first time in my life and Tiffy had tried to be nice to me, giving me a picture of my brother.
Zee drove in silence. And I was sitting in my seat next to him in silence as well, looking straight in front of me.
I only hoped we would reach some town real soon and take a room in a hotel, before the short winter day ended. It wasn't like I couldn't sleep in the car; I merely wanted to cover my head with the blankets, and forget that there was someone else with me.
Yes, we didn't talk. We hadn't exchanged even a word while we left Hicksburg.
And the time passed so slowly...
Zee still kept silence. And I still didn't talk as well.
It was cold. It was so cold, as it wasn't ever before. Not because the car's heat didn't work, but because everything between Zee and me had become desperately cold.
What had I expected? Zee to kiss me? I was his teacher in that foreign to him place called the human world. And probably his best friend. That was all. I wanted him to behave as a real man and he had acted just like that. He had kissed the first girl who stepped in his way.
And the worst was that Tiffy wasn't just the first girl who stepped in his way. She was the girl who had whatever I didn't have. Now she had Zee. Well, it was just for one kiss, indeed, but still...
A kiss.
He had kissed her.
Why did he do that? Why her and not me?
Why a girl who he had seen for the first time in his life?
Actually it was logical. He kissed Tiffy exactly because it was the first time he had seen her and probably the last as well. His endless studiousness, right? He just wanted to know what a kiss was like and he had decided that an unknown girl could be the right choice for his experiment. Obviously he couldn't kiss me, because he wasn't in love with me. He wasn't in love with Tiffy either of course, but it wasn't a matter of feelings at all. He merely tried a kiss. Simple. And quite fair, in his opinion.
Female envy and curiosity, eh? Well, it was... sort of...
I knew how real his hands were, I knew how real his face was, but I had never had touched his lips...
His kiss had to be quite real since Tiffy didn't realize he wasn't human. She even fainted. Yes, he looked like Adam Heat then, but his kiss had to be unbelievable good one way or another...
That's a jealousy, Ro Rowen.
Yes, I know.
If before we went to Hicksburg, I wasn't sure if I was in love with Zee or not, now I knew.
Maybe Mr. Morgan --- I mean, Dad--- was right that Zee was another of my wrong choices, and Mr. Morgan didn't even know that I loved Zee.
To fall in love with a synthoid...
At least Zee had no idea either.
No matter how incredible person Zee was, no matter that he was everything I needed and everything I had searched for---
He didn't love me.
Of course it wasn't his fault. Maybe he wasn't able to experience such kind of love at all.
How ironic.
Just when I managed to overcome myself, to convince myself that even though Zee is a synthoid, he is worthy to be loved; he deserved to be loved, because of his good heart, because of his incredible personality; just when I managed to accept my own love toward him I had to realize that he didn't love me...
The one whom I felt so close to, the one I trusted with my life, the one who made me feel cozy and warm, the one who made me feel special, the one who surrounded me with his care, the one who understood me better than anyone, the one who's heart was in perfect harmony with mine...
It was too good to be true...
Why on earth was I trying to defend my feelings toward Zee? Tiffy wasn't here anymore. If I couldn't confess to her that I loved Zee, I had to confess it to myself. I love him. What of it?
I wouldn't be more than just a friend to him. Ever.
To lose him just when I found him, just when I found who I was looking for... how ironic, indeed...
As soon as he didn't love me, he probably wouldn't want to become real human and he wouldn't remain with me. Maybe just till we find my family and Dr. Selig, and then…
Yes, I was the tough girl, who ran from foster homes and girls' homes, but… the truth was that I was afraid from the uncertainty in front of me, I thought, I hoped my life had become different with Zee. I thought I had found everything I needed, finding him… I hoped he would remain with me forever…
If I didn't need any excuses in front myself why I loved him, I didn't need his excuses why he kissed Tiffy as well, they wouldn't change anything.
But still…
That silence killed me.
And I felt that if I wouldn't show him that I kept being angry at him, I would explode…
So I broke the silence.
"Don't you think you need to apologize?"
He didn't glance at me, but his voice was so soft when he said, "I thought you wouldn't accept any excuses, Ro."
His voice… his deep soft voice…
"I probably wouldn't," I snapped. "But you still can try, can't you?"
"I'm really very sorry, Ro."
I made a pause and I said sullenly, "You know even if I try to believe you, something doesn't fit. If you're really so sorry, then why did you do this at all?"
"I did it for you, Ro."
"Yeah, right! Oh, c'mon, Zee, you can invent some better excuse!"
"I can explain."
"Really? Hmmm… well, then… go ahead."
"You said you always felt that Tiffy's trying to prove she's better than you, so knowing that every teenager girl these days, uh, except you, is in love with Adam Heat--- I mean, Adam Heat is a vid star, he can have any girl he wants, so the fact that he could chose you would mean that he values you more than anybody else and I thought that Tiffy would be able to see how interesting and how beautiful you are, having a man like Adam Heat by your side. That was my goal when I told you that I know exactly what to do. But then, when we were on the doorstep already, I realized that actually I hadn't considered the behavior of the person I pretended to be… I mean… as I was Adam Heat now, I had to react believeably and… there was only one way for me to keep his image right… I mean, the real Adam Heat would do exactly what I did, wouldn't he? Well… anyway… I'm so sorry, Ro… it was a trap, I did it absolutely involuntarily, but somehow or other I made that trap and I fell there. And the worst thing was that I dragged you along with me and Tiffy and Walt as well. I guess I caused problems between both of them and most of all I hurt you, Ro. I… I'm so sorry, Ro, I hadn't in mind to insult you, I'm really sorry, I'm terribly sorry."
I crossed my arms on my chest, lifting one brow, "But you were quite happy to see Tiffy's reaction!"
He smiled faintly and this time he glanced for a moment at me, "I was quite happy to see your reaction."
"What?"
"Your expression was so eloquent, Ro!"
"Eloquent, how? You're wrong! You're absolutely wrong! I was angry at you!"
"Yes, very. It's just what I mean."
"You can delete this memory. Okay?"
But the usual sound of a deleted file didn't followed. Zee just kept driving, looking at the road.
"I said 'delete it', Zee!"
He slightly shook his head negatively still staring at the road and he said calmly, "I'm sorry, Ro, but I won't delete it."
"What do you think you're doing? You intend to make a collection of girl's reactions to your charm?"
He said nothing. He even didn't glace at me now. He merely kept driving.
A silent, concentrated at the road Zee. I looked at his perfect profile, his short black hair with this cute forelock…
Yes, I loved the way he looked, I loved the way he was, I loved who he was, I really loved him…
I turned my head toward the road as well.
Excellent, Ro Rowen! You just realized that you had fallen in love with him and he already managed to discover your secret. So now what? He would treat you as some exhibit, as some rare glass-vase; trying to not break you while he studies you?
Was it so easy to see that I had a crush on him?
The short winter day was on its end already, but we still traveled across the mountain.
Zee lightly made a slow turn in order to go a little bit out of the road and he stopped the car.
Then he turned aside towards me looking to my eyes with the most serious expression I had ever seen on his face.
"I think it's about time we both to stop pretending, Ro."
"Pretending?" I smiled nervously.
"Yes, I think it would be much better if we stop pretending that we don't know what's happening."
"What's happening?" I asked even more nervously, still trying to not give up.
"The unexpected happened, Ro. I fell in love with you and I know you are in love with me too. I never thought you wouldn't be the first girl, the only girl I would kiss. Please forgive me, Ro. I really love you. May I redeem my fault?"
His voice was so sincere and with those deep and soft notes, which I loved so much… and his dark blue eyes were so wistful… I didn't find any strength to answer him, but I didn't draw back either and… he slowly leaned towards me touching my lips with his warm lips in a unbelievable kiss…
"You're so real, Zee, do you know that?" I whispered.
Brushing my face with his lips while speaking, he whispered too, "And I will become completely real because of you."
And he kissed me again…
When we stopped kissing, the moment he looked at me and I looked at him… our insecure, shy smiles became a loud laugh, yes, we both broke in a wild laugh… a laugh of happiness that at last we were true, we were genuine, we were what we were - foolishly, endlessly, infatuatedly, besottedly, madly, in love with each other…
The end
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