Leelyn,

Hey! We're really missing you here. It's like, so different without you. Everything seems quieter. I went to your house yesterday, your mom and dad were really nice, and well they always have been. But they let me go in your room. AHAHAH I went in your room. Don't get mad, I just went in there so I could reminisce. I took one of your Taking Back Sunday posters. It's weird that you left so much of your stuff here, you should've taken it with you. I'm guessing you're gonna come visit me sometime soon, I really hope you do. Mia and Amanda really miss you. Amanda and I broke up again. But it's not going to last very long. She just had to 'get away'. Right. Isn't that her excuse EVERYTIME?

Well listen, I just wanted you to know that I really do love you. Like, I really do. And it's really hard with you not here. Because I just want to kiss you so bad. That's terrible, I know. But you have to realize that I never fully got over you. And I know you never fully got over me. And I bet you're sitting there, wherever you are, reading this…and you can't decide whether or not to write back. There's a faint smile on your face, and your eyes are really close to tearing up. Don't cry Leelyn, I know that we should've never broken up. But we're moving on now, aren't we? Yeah…we are. You've got your English boys, and I've got Amanda. I hope you know that she could never compare to you. Never, ever. But she's the next best thing. And I love her. Forgive me for saying the things I've said. I don't want you to come back here and have the hopes of getting back together, because you know that will never happen. And I'm not saying it's because I don't want to, it's because I know that it would literally kill Amanda, and I know you don't want that for her. Listen, I have to go. I'm gonna go skate with Brandon, remember him? I'm sure you do, you dated him for like… a week. I'll talk to you later.

I love you,

Matt.

I read over it several times, trying to figure out the point of it. I tried really hard just to figure out if he had a point to telling me he loved me, but honestly I don't believe he did. But I knew I had to write him back, so I skipped past the parchment and quill cause that would be a little weird for him. And I took out a piece of paper from a journal and grabbed a ballpoint pen. I had packed them, just for this.

Matt,

I miss you guys a lot too! It's really crazy here. I already fell for someone. Haha, that's so like me, isn't it? Yeah, he's gorgeous. And he understands me. He reminds me a lot of you. He just looks nothing like you. I might venture a bet that he looks better than you, but that IS a little mean, isn't it? Can you send me that picture of you, me, Amanda, and Mia that we took right before I left? That was possibly the best picture we've ever taken all together. And we all looked so cute!

Matt, I know you love me. I know you love Amanda. And I have no hopes at all that we will get back together. And you may know everything about me, but that's one thing you don't know. That I don't care that you and Amanda are together…or… were I guess would be the correct way of saying that. She's happy with you, and I was once that way. But I have other hopes for other people. You may have been the first boy I loved, the first boy I had sex with, and the first boy that spent a ton of money on me. But sweetie, you will certainly not be the last. We made decisions that we shouldn't have made. We decided that we were in love before we even knew for sure. And then when it finally settled in that we WERE in love, it wasn't the way we wanted it to be. Love is hard, and I'm always going to love you. For the rest of my goddamn life. I swear, I thought for awhile that you and I were going to get to married. But we didn't, and I don't plan on us getting that far either. I will come and visit, but we're not going to get anywhere. Because it's about time we learned how to move on to better. And you're getting there…and Matt, so am I.

"We've got to better." I said, "it's all in your head." we could live through these letters or forget it all together. See the months, they don't matter. It's the days i can't take, when the hours move to minutes... and I'm seconds away. Just ask the question, come untie the knot. Say you won't care, say you won't care. Retrace the steps as if we forgot. Say you won't care, say you won't care. Try to avoid it, but there's not a doubt. And there's one thing I can do nothing about."

Lee.

I folded it and put it in an envelope and gave it to my owl, and sent it to the Grangers so they could send it from there. It was the plan we had come up with so that I could send my letters to my...err… 'Muggle' friends, back in California. And we were going to continue with that plan until I told Matt, Mia, Amanda, and everyone else that I was a witch, and I didn't exactly know when that was going to be.

Not too long after writing the letter to Matt, I found myself sitting in the Great Hall. Hermione was on my left side; Harry was on my right. Across from me were Lavender and Seamus. We were all talking, but we weren't talking about anything in particular.

"Hey guys, I got a letter from Matt." I said. Since I had spent time with every single one of them, they all knew who he was.

"What did it say?" Lavender asked.

"A bunch of bullshit. Excuse my language guys. He was just talking about how much he loves me. Then he turns around and he's all like, 'I don't want you to get your hopes up and think we're going to get back together.'"

"That's really stupid." Seamus said.

"Yeah, I know." I said.

"Did you write him back?" Hermione asked.

"Yeah..."

"What did you say?" Harry asked, suddenly introducing himself into the conversation.

"I told him I have absolutely no hopes of getting back together." I said. After I said that, I felt Harry's hand fall into mine and I responded by holding onto it. I didn't make any other movement because I didn't want to draw attention to us. Us, that sounded good.

Harry, Hermione and I departed to Potions, while Seamus and Lavender made their way to Herbology. I shook my head and laughed as I watched them go. They had been trying really hard not to get close to each other until they were alone. One or the other kept looking back to make sure we weren't watching. They were going to get back together, I could tell. The next hour and a half passed very uneventfully, and I had to ask Hermione if I could borrow her notes because of my lack of attention in that class.

That night, much like the night before, I found myself sitting next to Harry, laughing at some story he had just told.

"So tell me a story about something that happened in California." He said.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"Okay, well this one time. Not too long ago actually, Matt, Mia, Amanda, me and Matt's friend Brandon were driving around looking for something to do. And then it started to rain, out of nowhere. So I parked the car and got out, Matt and Brandon followed and we started DANCING in the rain. In the middle of the night. Amanda and Mia finally caught on and got out too. They were slow to join us in dancing, but eventually they did. Matt took my hand and I looked at him, blinking against the pounding rain. He looked back, and leaned close to me, as though he were going to kiss me. I turned my head up to the sky and screamed. Matt did the same, then Brandon, Amanda and Mia laughed and did the same."

"Wow, that must have been so much fun."

"It was, I really miss it though."

"I bet, but you are going to be able to visit."

"Yeah, I know. I anticipate that day. But I'm beginning to love it here."

"Why is that?"

"Because of you." he smiled, I smiled as well.

"Well I'm glad to hear that I make your experience here enjoyable."

"Oh, of course."

"So you wanna sing to me again?"

"Sure thing;

This is because I can spell confusion with a K and I can like it. It's to dying in another's arms, and why I had to try it. It's to Jimmy Eat World and those nights in my car, when the first star you say, may not be a star. 'I'm not your star?' Isn't that what you said, what you thought this song meant? And if this is what it takes just to lie with my mistakes, and live with what I did to you, all the hell I put you through. I always catch the clock it's 11:11 and now you wanna talk. It's not hard to dream, you'll always be my konstantine."

"Once again, you amaze me with your voice."

"Well, what can I say?"

"Absolutely nothing, I suppose." We laughed. It fell silent; I looked up at him to find that he was looking back at me. I couldn't help but smile. "Leelyn…"

"Yes…?"

"Err…can I kiss you?"

"You don't have to ask." I said, a smile spreading over my face again. I came closer to him, and he leaned forward. His lips fell onto mine, and I responded quickly. His tongue slid over my bottom lip, I parted my lips ever so slowly and allowed him entrance to my mouth. My hand went to the back of his neck; he put his hand on the small of my back. We fell back onto the couch, me on top of him. I tugged at the bottom of his shirt, but suddenly he stopped me. I looked at him with confusing clearly written on my face.

"No, I don't even know you."

"You do know me."

"I don't know you well enough for this."

"Aw Harry! That is so amazing."

"How is that amazing?"

"It's amazing that you would stop me. Because no one else has ever done that. I've never been in control to even start with. And I'm always the one to make someone stop. I'm officially in love with you."

"So you're not a virgin then?"

"No, but its called peer pressure. And don't tell me I was raped. Because I wasn't. And I gave myself to Matt. It was an agreement. And other times, I don't know."

"I don't have a problem with it, you should know that. I was just wondering."

"God you are the most amazing boy I have ever met."

"How am I amazing now?"

"You just…you don't care about the things other people care about. You care about me. And you're just different from any boy I've ever met." He smiled.

"Well, you're different then any other girl I've ever met."

"How?"

"You make me feel a way that no other girl has ever made me feel. And just like you've had your fair share of boys; I've had my fair share of girls. You're the first person I've had this strong of feelings for. And I've hardly known you for three weeks."

"Yes, I have my ways." He laughed. I got off of him so he could sit up as well. "I think I'm gonna go to sleep."

"Okay." he said, I leaned down and planted a kiss on his cheek.

"Night." I said, he nodded and I began to walk away.

"Oh, Leelyn?"

"Yeah?" I said, turning around.

"Just wanted you to know that you're an amazing kisser."

"Not so bad yourself." I said, smiling and walking up to my dormitory.

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A/N: ahah wow that was fun. Just kidding. Hope you liked it!

Disclaimer: iiiiii own Leelyn and the plot, oh and all of Leelyn's friends. The other characters belong to J.K. Rowling. The song in the letter Leelyn writesin the letter to Mattits right beforeher name at the endiscalled NEW AMERICAN CLASSIC by Taking Back Sunday and the song she sings is called Konstantine by Something Corporate.