Treasure of Fergus McDuck
By Sharan McQuack
This is loosely based on one of the "Ducktales" video games. Extra special thanks to the Duck Tales 2 Guide
by The Lost Gamer Copyright 2003.
Even if Gameboy Ducktales # 1 had a MUCH cooler picture on front. You can't see it because lambdapsiphi. com/ daft/ daft/ images/ dtgame. jpg isn't there anymore. Please complain to whoever is running the negapage, he won't listen to ME and it was supposed to be moved there. kym negapage .htm
It was a rainy Sunday in Duckburg. Huey, Dewey and Louie had organized an exploration trip thru the mansion. They were going to explore every nook and cranny of it! They got Mrs. Beakly to pack them a lunch and off they went- down to the basement (they didn't stay there long. It was creepy and dirty and full of nothing but pipes and water heaters and fuse boxes. They had more sense than to mess with them.)
They went thru the spare rooms and then - up to the attic. There they found a treasure trove of old magazines and newspapers and stuff. They ate their lunch and relaxed a while.
Then, trying to pull out a newspaper trapped by boxes, they triggered off an avalanche of junk. Crash! Naturally, they had gotten out of the way. But when an old steamer truck had crashed down, a secret compartment popped open as it landed. Inside was a treasure map, signed by Fergus McDuck, an ancestor of theirs.
And it was dated three days before Fergus' death.
"Wasn't Great- Grandpa (1) Fergus sick in bed for three days before he died?" Huey asked.
"Yeah- which means the treasure must still be there! Let's tell Uncle Scrooge!"Dewey replied.
And they did. After reading the map, he called Launchpad and soon all were off on another treasure hunt. To Scotland, of course. After a very nice landing, they rented a car and Launchpad drove them to a wreck of an old castle.
The place looked awful. There were holes in the roof and pools of water on the floor where the rain had come in. There were holes in the floor from water damage and from damage caused by the collapsing roof. There was dirt on the floor, blown in from holes in the roof. There was a large pit where the floor had collapsed down upon the cellar.
"This place belonged to my mother's side of the family, once. When her branch of the family died, the deed to it could not be found. And it was a white elephant (2)even then- too expensive to sell, too expensive to maintain- nobody wanted it." Mr. McDuck began.
"The loss of the deed left it in legal limbo and my family forgot about it. Fergus McDuck tried to get the family to find the deed and fix the place up, hoping to get a job as it's caretaker...but- well, you know how thrifty my family is. He didn't have the money to fix the place up himself, and no one else in the family was interested. I did not realize it was in such bad shape- it's a shame and a pity." Mr. McDuck said, for he regretted forgetting about the place.
"Well, maybe we can use the money we get for the treasure to fix the place up!" Louie said.
"We have to FIND the treasure first. The map says it's in the library- in a book." Huey said.
So they made their way to the library.
"Great. I don't suppose the map says which book the treasure is hidden in? Gives a title, an author's name- heck, even the color of the book?" asked Launchpad as he eyed the library's contents - wall-to-wall books- with some dismay.
"I'm afraid not. We have to do this the HARD way- search thru each book, one at a time. The map seems to be talking about a piece of paper- perhaps another map, perhaps, hidden in one of the books. So look for any loose piece of paper." Mr. McDuck said.
So they looked. they split up the job- the boys searching books on the bottom shelves, Mr. McDuck in the middle, with Launchpad on a ladder searching the top shelves.
So they searched, book by book by book...
"Hey, I found something- this book is hollowed out and there is something inside the hollow! Oops- false alarm! Unless the treasure was an old- and empty- bottle of scotch whiskey!" Launchpad said.
"Just as well it's empty- that's a very rare and very old bottle and I might have been tempted to sell it, if it were full. I don't sell alcohol, I don't approve of it." Mr. McDuck said.
"Neither do I, Mr. McDee- never touch the stuff myself." Launchpad said.
"I've seen you drink at parties" Mr. McDuck said.
"Sure you've seen me drink. Cola with a twist of lemon, you've seen me drink. Or something else that LOOKS alcoholic but isn't. So people don't bug me to drink. Why anybody in his right mind would bug a PILOT to drink is beyond me. That stuff has ruined more pilot's careers than YOU can count! I don't have enough troubles? I need to waste what little money I make on something so unhealthy?" Launchpad asked. (TOLD YOU HE'S SMARTER THAN HE LETS ON!!!)
MEANWHILE... Scrooge McDuck does not arrive at a castle once owned by his family without causing idle tongues to wag and word of this reached Flintheart Glomgold. Flinty got his pilot (Hmm- who flys Flinty around? Possible story material there?) to fly him to Scotland to find out what was going on. Flinty hired some local hoods to assist him. (3)
They snuck up to the old ruin of a castle and spied on the "Ducktales" gang. He saw them looking thru book after book, obliviously searching for something. He realized that if they had to do it a book at a time, it could take quite a while. He decided to give the "Ducktales" gang an incentive to look harder- the point of the Bad Guys guns pointing at them.
So Flintheart and the bunch of nasty locals burst in on the "Ducktales" gang.
"Hands up, "old friend"! And don't YOU try anything, either, Fly Boy! We've got you covered- you will find whatever it is you are looking for and hand it over to me, post-haste- and we don't have to air-condition your nephews!" Flintheart said.
However, the Bad Guys made a stupid mistake- they forgot to pay attention to Huey, Dewey and Louie, who promptly did the last thing the Bad Guys expected- they tickled the Bad Guys!
"Hey! Stop! I can't stand being tickled!" the Bad Guys yelled.
Taking advantage of this distraction, Mr. McDuck knocked one gun out of their hands with his cane and Launchpad knocked out the other gun with the empty whiskey bottle.
"About the only thing this stupid stuff is good for!" Launchpad muttered.
Launchpad almost fell from the ladder because it moved a little.
Soon, they had the Bad Guys tied up with some rope they had brought along just in case. When they saw what bad shape the old mansion was in, they thought they might need rope to safely explore the place.
"Well, NOW what do we do with them? We can't call the cops- there's no phone in this dump!" Huey asked.
"There's a radio in my plane- I can double back and call the cops from there. But where do we put these bums so they can't get into any mischief until the cops arrive?" Launchpad said.
"We passed by a large pit on the way in. We can lower them into it- and take up the rope. They won't be able to get out- I hope!" Mr. McDuck said.
So that's what they did.
Afterward, Launchpad went back to the bookcase and up the ladder.
"What are you doing up there? That bookcase is empty- you removed the books from up there already" Mr. McDuck demanded.
" It shook. When I knocked out the other gun from one of the crook's paws, I touched something on the bottom of this shelf with my left hand- and the bookcase moved a little. That's why I almost lost my balance and fell off. I want to see what made the bookcase move." Launchpad said.
Launchpad searched till he found a button hidden by dust on the bottom of the shelve. He touched the button, the ladder shook again as the bookcase tried to move- but it couldn't because the ladder was in the way.
So Launchpad got off the ladder and moved it away from the bookcase. Then he looked for the button again. It was easy to find, once he knew where to look. Launchpad pressed it and the bookcase moved, revealing a hidden room, just like in the movies!
Meanwhile, Glomgold and his hired thugs were trying to escape. Using a hidden knife, one crook cut away his bonds and freed the others. But they were still down the pit. They tried to climb up, but it was too steep. They tied the ropes together to make one long rope- only to find there was nothing to anchor it on the other end. Even with a lasso at the end of the rope, no matter how many times they cast out the rope, it caught on nothing. Finally, they started to dig.
It wasn't long before what they were afraid of happened: they hit water. The pit quickly filled up. But all of the crooks could swim and they managed to stay afloat till there was enough water for them to reach the top of the pit and haul themselves out.
After a short detour back to their plane to get more guns, the crooks quickly ran back to the castle's library. They saw the hidden room and on a table, a small metal box that must contain the treasure!
"I'll thank you to hand over that box and it's contents, Scrooge." Flintheart said.
And Flintheart pointing his gun not at Mr. McDuck but at Huey. The hired help were, on orders from Flinty, pointing their guns at the boys, too.
"Flintheart- you know I am a man of my word. If you promised to leave us unharmed, I promise to let you keep the treasure- whatever it is. I will tell no one and I will swear Launchpad and the boys to silent. Take the treasure, if you must. do not hurt my nephews, and you can have it without further protest from me and mine." Mr. McDuck said.
"Very well, Scroogie- I'll take your kind offer. I'll take the treasure and leave you tied up here in this old dump. by the time you free yourselves, the treasures and I will be long gone." Flintheart said.
"Wait a minute- you're just going to leave them here? Where they can tell the cops about us?" one of the hired hoods asked, amazed.
"Scroogie and his family- which includes Fly Boy, even if he's not related to them- have "honor". If he says we can keep the treasure and they won't talk, if we don't hurt them- he'll actually keep his word." Flintheart sneered.
"HUH? Why would somebody do something that dumb?" another one of the crooks asked.
"Danged if I know. But I've been trying to score off of Scroogie for years- and it's no fun scoring off of him if he's too dead to be jealous of ME for a change! Most of the fun of keeping this treasure will be knowing Scroogie will be eating his heart out knowing I have it and he doesn't! Him knowing I finally won for a change!" Flintheart said.
"Now- let's see what the treasure is that brought us all here." said Glomgold.
And Flintheart he opened the small metal box on the table. Inside was a single old piece of paper, a legal document of some sort. Flintheart read it. Then he read it again.
"I don't believe it! You call this a treasure- it's a curse! It's the DEED to this rotten pile of rocks that used to be a castle! What am I supposed to DO with this dump?" Flintheart screamed.
"You could sell it to me, Flintheart. This castle once belonged to my ancestors- I would be willing to take it off your hands out of sentiment." Mr. McDuck said.
"Oh? And what if I'd rather keep it out of spite?" Flintheart asked.
"Then you'll have to pay the property taxes on this castle. Possibly back taxes from since it was abandoned several decades ago. Since this IS an ancient Scottish castle, sitting on a large piece of land- that would come to quite a nice sum of money, even for you. And I very much doubt you'll find another buyer for this place any time soon." Mr. McDuck said.
"Arrgh! I can't win for losing! I find the "treasure" first- and it's a white elephant of a castle." Flintheart screamed.
"Alright, Scroogie, you win- as always. I'll sell you this dump of castle. But what you'll DO with it, I can't imagine." Flintheart said.
"Wait and see, Flintheart, wait and see." Mr. McDuck said mysteriously.
"Oh- and Flinty- thanks for the compliment you paid me." Launchpad put in.
"Eh? When did I pay YOU a compliment?" Flintheart Glomgold asked.
"When you said I was a member of Mr. McDuck's family. I know you didn't intend that as a compliment, but I'll accept it as high praise. It would of meant a LOT more to me if it came from Mr. McDee, but I'll take what I can get." Launchpad said.
Flintheart grumped off, muttering to himself.
Sometime later, the castle had been clamed by Mr. McDuck. He had paid the taxes on the place (and squawked about that no end)and fixed the place up. Old, crumbling walls had been fixed and fitted with large windows. The roof had been fixed and had a sunroof window or two.
The upstairs was fixed up as a hotel, which puzzled Flinty no end. The weather in this part of Scotland was dreadful even by Scottish standards (not my fault)and there were no tourists here.
"What in the world could Scroogie do with a hotel in this part of Scotland?" Flintheart wondered as he watched the proceedings angry and curious.
The downstairs Mr. McDuck hardly fixed at all. The large pit full of water was kept as is. The smaller holes in the floor, some were filled with dirt and the teeny-tiny ones were left alone. The rest of the dirt was swept into piles and molded into little hills. Soon Mr. McDuck opened up the world's first full-size INDOOR golf course. In Scotland, the birthplace of golf.
The castle was big enough for it to be a regulation size course, even if the holes ran in one direction and then the next and were very close together. Sort of like a miniture golf course. The little holes in the floor were golf ball holes, the pit full of water was a water hazard, and the hills of dirt were sand traps. Mr. McDuck even planted grass and bushes and small trees in the edges of the sand traps and in pots and large planters.
This unusual golf course was an instant hit. Golf nuts loved the idea of being able to play golf no matter what the weather was doing. And the idea of staying UPSTAIRS from the golf course you were playing in- as far as the golf lovers were concerned, they had died and gone to Heaven. Anytime they felt like it, they could take five and use the rest room, or get a quick bite. This drew elderly golfers in droves. They could play golf and then rest in a comfy chair whenever they liked. And since they were indoors, their arthritis didn't bother them as much.
Flintheart nearly pulled his beard out in frustration when he read about how much money Scroogie had made on the White Elephant Golf Course.
The End.
(1) Thanks Arty Knight for telling me that.
(2) "White Elephant": something too expensive too keep and too expensive to throw away. In India,(?) White Elephants were sacred and not allowed to work. They were kept by Rich People and lived in the lap of luxury. when a Ruler of India was mad at somebody, he would give them a White Elephant as a present, knowing they would go broke taking care of it and wouldn't dare sell it, lest that offend the Ruler.
Read: "The White Elephant" by Sid Fleischman. Good book.
(3)To anybody who had a problem with Dijon being an Arab, may I point out that in "Ducktales" the Bad Guys were often residents of whatever country the "Ducktales" gang was visiting? In "Ducky Mt. High" it was the Backwoods Beagles, in "Dr Jekyl and Mr. Mc Duck", it was Prof Moodydudey/Jack the tripper, get my drift?)