Warnings: Severe Introspection up ahead.

Chapter 7-Standing in the Sea

Kyoko sat in the bathtub, staring at her scratched up legs through the milky bathwater. It smelled like some delicate flowers and herbs and felt good against her abused and sensitive skin. Hatori had explained that it would help in healing her cuts and chapped skin. She had understood him and only nodded her head when he had gotten her into the bathtub and left her there, since she had been too weak to walk there herself.

She was annoyed that even though they had found her a week and a half ago, she was still as weak as a newborn. Only sheer will had kept her from transforming too often.

She moved her foot slowly and wondered how she had even managed to get to Tohru's? Was that the name they had told her? She frowned as she moved her fingertips through the water, making eddies and ripples in the milky smoothness. She wished she could remember that part much more clearly.

She recalled Akito slicing her clothes. She recalled being shoved into the yukata by the ever present maids. There were words. She could remember screaming at Akito...right before the older woman pounced on her and hacked off her hair. She knew that someone else was in the room. She had felt other hands. Slender, with long fingers that held her down as Akito wrecked her hair.

Kyoko shuddered as she recalled her wrists being held down and tied by wire as her robe was pulled open. Those same hands had traveled the length of her body, forcing her to endure painful caresses that had made her mind pull back with every minute that the actions lasted. She had bled from them. She had felt as if she had been torn apart from the inside out.

She shuddered as the memories came like the swirling tide. She had pushed them away, or rather the cat had for all those months. Having them come back like scenes of a movie she had unwillingly starred in made her want to go back to that room in the back of her mind and lock herself up inside. It was there. It was all so tempting to simply give up and go back to being taken care of.

But...she didn't want to live that way any longer. The few times that her mind had come back had been almost too painful to endure. She had always found herself in the middle of the woods or close to the river's edge, looking at the cuts and scars that she hadn't any idea how she had gotten them and inevitably had fallen into a soundless screaming fit that would drive her back into the room and leave the cat in control once more. It wasn't the way to live, she had realized when she had first woken up, bandaged and warm and with that girl looking at her with those bottomless eyes.

There was also the matter of the child growing inside of her.

She frowned and shifted in the tub to look down at her abdomen that had started to round out a bit. She had noticed it...awhile ago. In her last lucid period, but hadn't thought of it until Hatori had examined her while she was awake and explained that she was pregnant. By about sixteen weeks.

The numbers meant nothing to her. The news that she was going to be a mother at sixteen had pushed everything else away. That was the main reason why she had yet to speak. She was still adjusting to having coherent thoughts rather than the simple animalistic ones of food, movement and shelter.

Making sense of such a bombshell was occupying her strength and her mind. Hatori and Shigure had said things would come back. Maybe a little too slowly for her liking, but it would all start to make sense. She was grateful for their words. It meant a lot that she hadn't any pressure to get better. She could take her time and unravel the knot tied tightly in her mind. It was coming loose, but it still took time.

The knock on the door startled her, but she willed herself to stay still and wait as the door opened.

"It's time for supper, Kyoko-chan. Do you want to come out now?" Shigure asked as he moved slowly towards the bathtub.

She must have frowned or shown some indication of surprise when she saw Shigure rather than Hatori, since the dog had smiled and shrugged.

"Hari had to go back to the main house, but he'll be back. Do you want to come out now?"

Kyoko nodded and willed herself to not fight him as he wrapped his arms around her body and pulled her out. It wasn't that she felt trapped. The men in the house had done nothing that would make her suspicious or want to attack. Rather, it was the fact that she was helpless and dependent on her cousins for almost everything that ate at her. It was stupid. But there was no point in trying to analyze pride.

He didn't have any problems wrapping her up in the towel and carrying her to his study, where they had set up a temporary room for her. At least until she could move about well enough on her own. Setting her carefully on the futon, he handed her another towel and pulled out another yukata for her to wear. Nodding, Kyoko rubbed herself and her hair dry and pulled the yukata on without once relying on Shigure for his help, a small accomplishment, but something she was proud of. The first few days had been excruciatingly humiliating, since she was so exhausted she couldn't even force her arms through the sleeves of the yukata she had been bundled in.

"Do you want to try walking again?" Shigure asked her once she had signaled she was finished dressing. Kyoko nodded and pulled herself up to her feet with his help. And proceeded to start walking. Although it was a painfully slow process, with Kyoko slowly putting one foot in front of the other and not taking a step until she was sure that she wasn't going to collapse, Shigure didn't mind. He was glad that she was fighting to regain her independence. He had worried when she had been unable to even hold a pair of chopsticks, that first evening when she had finally woken up. Hatori had said it was simply the exhaustion and the living rough that had finally taken their toll on her body. Alarming, but she would be up and back to normal once she was able to get a decent sleep and proper food. Now that she was getting taken care of, Hatori's words had come to pass.

"Kyoko-chan! Did you walk here by yourself?" Tohru asked the silent girl as Shigure helped her sit down at the table. Kyoko ducked her head and nodded, a faint blush staining her cheeks as she did so.

"I'm so glad to see that! You'll be walking around in no time then! I'll just go get the tea and we'll sit down to eat dinner." Tohru exclaimed as she rushed into the kitchen.

Kyoko watched her go, a small smile of either amusement or affection slightly curving her lips when Yuki came in from the porch and sat down beside her.

"How are you feeling now, Kyoko-chan?" he asked politely as he settled himself comfortably for dinner. Kyoko's eyes widened and her cheeks flamed with scarlet colour before she looked down at the table. She wouldn't have known what to say to him even if she had been able to speak. What exactly was he, other than being another cousin and the rat of the zodiac? No matter how much she tried to get information about him from her memories, they were nothing but confused images. Even when she dug far back into her past, wading through her childhood memories that contained loneliness and pain in the early years and then warmth and acceptance when Shishou and Haa-kun came into her life; anything that may have contained information on Yuki had been erased. It was all gone.

She could have accepted the fact that there was nothing there if it hadn't been for the uneasy feeling she got when Yuki came near. If she could compare it to something, she would say it was the scent of an animal in heat. She could feel it whenever he got too close. He probably didn't realize it, but it didn't help to put her mind at ease. Especially since she didn't understand why he'd want to bother with her. She was pregnant. Even the male animals in the woods stayed away from her. Shigure and Hatori acted a little off when they had found out. It was male nature to shy away from a breeding female. So why was he in heat over her?

Shigure watched the emotions play across Kyoko's face as Tohru bustled about them, serving dinner and pouring tea for them. Yuki had gotten distracted by Tohru's appearance and had also backed away from Kyoko, thinking that she was still too deep in shock to respond to him. So as Tohru got things ready and laid out, Shigure took the opportunity to watch Kyoko.

He was worried that the proximity to Yuki had triggered a relapse, but from what he could tell, she was trying to figure Yuki's motives. He himself had taken pains to not be ambiguous with her, since he knew that she still wasn't fully thinking like her old self yet. She only could think about what was being presented to her rather than the subtleties of human behaviour. She probably was aware that Yuki was interested in a different way than the others and was probably wondering why. As far as he could tell, she hadn't prior knowledge of him. It was as if the shock had wiped him from her mind and he was trying to make up for lost time. But going about it in the stupidest way possible.

Kyoko was clearly uncomfortable with the attention and whether she would accept his overtures when he was finally made aware of what he was doing would be another matter altogether.

Frowning as he picked up his chopsticks, Shigure wondered whether he could exploit a couple of channels if things went as badly as he was expecting they would if they continued in such a way.

(Line Break)

Yuki sat in Shigure's makeshift study and waited for his older cousin to finish lighting his cigarette and tell him the reason why he wanted to talk to him.

"I'm going to be uncharacteristically blunt about this, Yuki." Shigure said as he took a drag of his cigarette. "It's better if you either come clean to Kyoko about your feelings or stay away until you can be sure that nothing is going to happen between you. It's confusing the poor girl and quite honestly, she's not mentally well enough to even begin to deal with the repercussions this would bring upon both her head and yours."

Yuki blinked at Shigure's words. Was he that obvious in his overtures?

"In case you are wondering, you're not obvious. Tohru and Hatori haven't noticed anything as of yet." Shigure exhaled and took another drag quickly.

"I also would tell you to simply let her alone until you get over your emotions."

Yuki's eyes narrowed at the older man's words.

"You have stepped over the line, Shigure." Yuki warned him in a cool voice. Shigure looked straight at Yuki and shook his head slowly.

"And you haven't? She's Haa-kun's, Yuki. She made her choice at the banquet. Don't you understand that she's got someone else?"

Yuki's eyes narrowed at the baldly spoken words. He knew it. Knew it all too well, but he didn't want to admit defeat. Not yet. She was the only woman that he had ever wanted. Ever since he had seen her at the banquet that first time, she had haunted his dreams. He didn't ask for many things, but she was the only one that he was sure would be able to help him unlock the part of his heart that he was deeply afraid would never come to light ever again.

That was why, despite all the guilt that he could feel seeping into his heart when he thought about Haru, he couldn't give up his dream.

"It doesn't matter to me." Yuki replied harshly. "There's a month for me to win her heart in. I don't care about the consequences. I want her."

Shigure's eyes narrowed at the words. He understood all too well what it meant to pursue a nearly impossible dream. He could sympathize with Yuki on that score, but he also knew that despite Yuki's determination; he was still too young and too sunk into the decay and darkness that was the main house. He spoke bravely, but Shigure knew that he was still far from ready.

All of them were.

"She's pregnant, Yuki. Do you want to deal with that also? If you take her from Haru, you'd have to face that it's not just her. There's a child involved. A child that could be Haru's, or another man's. Can you honestly tell me that you can handle dealing with that at this point?"

He would have preferred to not tell him those news, but he had to make it clear that this wasn't adolescent seduction any longer. More than simple desire was at stake and if he was truly willing to throw all chances to the wind, he had to understand what he was truly signing up for before it was too late and he hurt not just Kyoko, but the child as well.

And Yuki didn't need anymore guilt than he already had.

Yuki stared at him with open mouthed shock as he let the news sink in. Kyoko? Pregnant? How?

"Come off it, Yuki. Did you really think that she was going to be a virgin forever?" Shigure asked him softly.

"I didn't expect it." Yuki snapped. "Who's the father anyways?"

"It could be Haru or it could be someone as yet to be determined. She was raped at the main house. That was why she ran away." Shigure concluded quietly as he ground out his cigarette in his ashtray.

When he looked up at his cousin, his eyes were softer and apologetic.

"Do you see now why it can't happen?"

(Line Break)

Kazuma stared at the telegram, feeling both sad and relieved at the same time. His daughter, his precious daughter had been found. In need of healing and carrying another life inside of her, but alive. Now he had to make the decision to either wait until she was more stable, or to ease the misery of his son. But what at cost? Would either of them have the strength to deal with the repercussions the banquet?

He sighed and hid the telegram in the desk as he went to look for Haru.

He only hoped that his gamble would pay off for the best.

Notes: this is a very introspective chapter since Kyoko hasn't had a voice in the last few chapters. At least not significantly. She isn't going to go back to normal for some time, since trauma takes quite a long time to be healed even half-way. In some parts she refers to herself and others as you would to animals, but that is because she is still fairly heavily under the influence of the animal counterpart until she is healed enough for her human side to fully be dominant. It isn't MPD by any stretch of the imagination, but disassociation that helps the victim survive in a situation where they would have just lost it completely. In Kyoko's case, this means that the cat part of her being would take over.

Thanks for reading once again and I will try to update this much quicker. Bye!