A Different Path
Chapter 3: Door Number 2
Disclaimer: It's not mine, duh.
Summary: There are many paths in life... Have you ever wondered how life would be if you had taken a different one? If you had taken a left instead of a right? If you had done something different- or if you did it sooner, or later? This is my version of how things could have been different.
A/N: Shout out to my wonderful reviewers!
Erin: Thanks, I try lol
Marcel-Marceau-chicken: Thankss!
A-Karana: Yeah, but they have to be sad in order to have a happy ending...
LukeandLorelai4ever: Yeah, me too. I loved the end whereLorelai and Roryhug and then Lorelai tells Luke they can set a date... I can't wait to see where this daughter thing goes and how Luke will tell Lorelai, especially after his whole communication speech... Can't wait until next week!
JJFanatic: Thanks! I hate how Kirk isn't in as many episodes this season, so I put him in my stories to make me feel better, lol.
lindsey: Thannkss I'm flattered... And yeah I get what your talking about, every one of my teachers told me that in elementary school...But anyways, thank you so much!
Menghis: Yeah, I don't usually like reading baby stories, but I'm hoping I can make this one good. Thanks!
ProFfeSseR: Haha thank you
Ronata: Lol, thats soo funny. I'm likephysic or something, lol..idk. Yeah, thank you so much!
GGFAN6: Lol, you'll see... And yes, I love Kirk.
linDs: Thanks!
orangesherbert7: Yeah, well if she wasn't pregnant it wouldn't really be much of a story... and I dunnno, what would be the point in her thinking she was pregnant... you know? So, I know that was very predictable, but hopefully the rest of the story won't be.
Javamaniac: Haha thank you! I'm glad you think so cuz I worry about that sometimes...
javajunkie4ever: Yup, it'll be crazy
Adam's Song-182: I know, I know... I usually hate these type of stories, but I thought I'd give it a try... I hope you like it.
PsychoKitty: I know, but the words running together thing is actually because I proofread my chapters a million times before posting but I always end up having some words like that. Other people have said it happens to them, too, so I'm guessing it's I might take you up on the offer,I don't know yet... Thanks though.
charmedtomeetyou: Thanks, glad you gave it a try.
tom: Lol, thanks for the suggestions... You'll see how it all turns out, I'm hoping everyone will like it. It won't really be like Stand Still and Diary where it takes them a long, long time to get together... but you know, there's got to be some angst and stuff... Also, I have two other stories if you'd like to read them. The Things you Do for LOve: it's just a little one shot. And... After it Fades: it's like missing scenes and extended ones from all of the episodes this season.. Read um if you want, I'd love to hear your feedback.
gilmoregirlsfanatic: Haha thank you!
She opened the door and stepped outside. She hugged her jacket tightly, around her, trying to keep herself shielded from the cold and the wind. She walked to her car at a very fast pace, so she could be warm again.
The drive back to Stars Hollow went by fast. You know when you're driving and suddenly you're just home? You don't even remember getting off the highway or making any turns, you just find yourself at home. You were in such deep thought, you weren't really paying attention, but you somehow made it home. It didn't happen too often to Lorelai, but today was just one of those days.
She sat in her car for awhile. She just didn't feel like going home to an empty house. It would be so quiet, and she didn't like quiet. Quiet forced you to think about things and she didn't want to think, not now...not in that sad, empty house. She sat in the car and put on the radio, softly, for some background music.
She had just had her doctor's appointment. It was only to see if she was really pregnant. Sometimes those tests are always 100 true, and she just wanted to make sure.
It was true. She was pregnant.
It still hadn't really sunk in yet. She still couldn't believe she was having Luke's baby. She didn't feel any different, she didn't feel pregnant.
She didn't feel this way the last time. Last time, when she had gotten pregnant, she didn't have enough time to think about how she was feeling. Last time, she had to deal with her parents, telling Christopher, Christopher's parents, people at school, graduating, and so many other life-altering decisions…
She had so many decisions to make, last time. She could marry Christopher and lead a life like her mother's- complete with DAR functions and teatime. And then there was door number 2-raising her kid completely alone and doing things her own way… the hard way.
This time, she had one option. She was doing this alone. She didn't have to worry about people making fun of her at school, and losing all of her friends. She didn't have to worry about decisions. What decisions were there to make? She was having a baby… and that was it. She didn't have to decide where it would be raised or how. She didn't have to decide on anything. She didn't have to think about her geometry final or what her mother's book club thought of her. All she had to think about was Luke...
She didn't feel pregnant at all. She felt too empty to be pregnant.
She leaned against the car window, and glanced around her yard. The Chuppah, the stairs, the porch railing, the upstairs window, the shovel that was leaning against her house, and the garage that held Luke's boat inside- everything reminded her of Luke.
Would the baby look like Luke? She couldn't help but wonder. 20 years ago, when she was pregnant, she wondered if the baby would look like her. She never wondered if it would look like Christopher… She had never even thought about that. But now, she couldn't help but think about it… Would the baby have any of Luke's mannerisms? Would it like vegetables or fishing? Would the baby have his eyes? His beautiful blue eyes…
Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of her cell phone ringing. She sang along to the ring tone as she searched through her purse for the phone.
"Hello?" She asked not bothering to look at the caller ID.
"Mom?" Rory said.
"Hey." Lorelai said.
"Are you back from the doctors?"
"Yeah…"
"And?" Rory asked.
"I'm pregnant." Lorelai informed her after Rory said nothing.
Rory was silent for a moment. She had no idea what she was supposed to say. Before she had called, she hadn't thought about what to say if her mom was actually pregnant. She should have written something down... something supportive and happy... just something.
"So… uh…" Rory began.
"Yeah." Lorelai sighed.
"Are you going to tell Luke?" Rory finally asked.
"I guess he'll have to know sometime, right?" Lorelai said sadly.
"So when are you-"
"I don't know." Lorelai answered before Rory could finish.
"How are you-"
"I don't know." Lorelai said interrupting Rory again.
"OK."
"What do you think he'll say?" Lorelai asked. "I mean… this is huge... I didn't even realize how big this really was until now. It's just… a kid, Rory… This is so huge." Lorelai said.
"I know, Mom." Rory said supportively.
"I mean, now… I will forever be the mother of Luke Danes first born child…. Child… Luke's child…" She said as if she was trying to get herself to believe it.
"What's he going to say when I tell him? Will he be mad or freaked out or… or-"
"He won't be mad, Mom." Rory said.
"I just need a game plan, here… I need to rehearse what I'm going to say… Maybe I should make note cards or write it on my hand incase I forget… I could probably get Kirk to make cue cards and hold them up and everything." She said starting to jokeand babbled on a little bit. She always jabbered on like this when she was nervous. "I wish I could just send him a card or something… That way I wouldn't have to see his face when he finds out." Lorelai said.
"Mom…"
"When I told Christopher- sure it was awkward and scary and weird, but at least we were together… I mean, atleast we weren't broken up... I just don't even know what I'm supposed to say. We're broken up… How do I tell him I'm pregnant? It'll be so awkward... so, so awkward." Lorelai said.
"We'll figure it out." Rory said.
"Oh, God… I'm having his baby, Rory. You know, we're probably going to have to see each other all the time and everything… that is, if he wants to see the baby." Lorelai said, a million things flying through her head at that very moment.
"He will, Mom…. He's not Dad." Rory said.
"We'll have to see each other." Lorelai repeated in a dreading voice.
"You'd see each other even if this wasn't happening… It's a small town." Rory said.
"Rory, the man barely ever leaves the diner. I mean, I didn't expect to avoid him for the rest of my life, but I didn't...This- this is huge."
"You already said that."
"Because I don't think you understand."
"I do."
"We could be like those parents that can only see their kid on weekends or Tuesday nights, like we're divorced or something.There could be custody wars and lawyers and we could end up on Judge Judy and, and...What if I want Tuesday nights?" Lorelai whined, now just freaking out.
"And- and we'll bump into each other at school plays or the ballet or soccer games… And birthdays and holidays… And he'll try and buy better Christmas presents then me just like all the parents on TV…" Lorelai said as she went on with her freak out.
"No he won't." Rory said.
"What if he's there for the baby's first steps or first word and I'm not? ... He'll probably make them eat vegetables..."
"Then you'll be the favorite." Rory said trying to lighten the mood a little.
"Maybe I just shouldn't tell him." Lorelai said.
"Mom…"
"No, seriously. I don't want to freak him out or making him stressed or worried or I don't know. What if he just… doesn't care?" Lorelai asked.
"He will care." Rory said.
"Luke hates kids! Their hands are always sticky, they smell like baby food, and they drool and throw up. He hates jam hands." Lorelai said.
"Mom… Luke loves you and he wouldn't abandon you." Rory said.
Lorelai felt like her heart just sink into her stomach… Mom… Luke loves you… Luke loves you… Luke loves you…
She loved Luke. She really loved him. She had known that for a long time. She didn't know exactly when she had first figured it out, but it was a while ago. She was positive that she loved him when she found herself standing in front of a mirror, holding a wedding dress and imaging her wedding at her parent's house. She had never done that before- imagined her wedding. Sure, with Max she imagined it, but not in the same way. With Max, it was all so different. She didn't love Max... But she loved Luke. She really loved Luke. She imagined marrying Luke and that was when she was absolutely sure she loved him, but she had thought about it long before then.
She wanted to tell him. She really wanted to tell him the night of her parents wedding and in the movie theater and at Doose's, but it wouldn't have been right. He would have thought it was just an attempt to make him forgive her or something. That wasn't it. She really loved him. She really, really, did. Rory's words repeated through her head. Maybe if she had just said something? Maybe if she had just told him? Maybe things would have been different.
He wouldn't just abandon you…
She wasn't that afraid of him abandoning her. She had done this before; she knew she could do it. She knew she could raise a kid. She wasn't so afraid of him leaving her…
She was more afraid that he wouldn't abandon her. She was more afraid that he'd stick around. She was more afraid that he'd be around. She was afraid that he'd be there through everything, helping her out with everything, doing things for her. She was afraid she'd just fall even more in love with him. She was afraid she'd fall more in love with him, and then she'd remember they weren't together. She needed to get over him, and she couldn't do that if he was around being his wonderful self all the time. She was afraid of that. She was afraid of getting hurt again. She was afraid of it being so much worse. She was afraid of it being too much…
She wanted him to care- of course she wanted him to care. She wanted him to care about the baby, but she wanted him to care about her, too.
"Mom?" Rory asked. "Mom? Mom are you there?"
Lorelai jumped out of her trance. "Sorry, I uh dropped my phone." Lorelai lied.
"OK…" Rory said.
"Yeah, so I uh better go." Lorelai said.
"Are you going to tell him?" Rory asked.
"I just have to figure out the right time… and how to tell him… and so many other things…" Lorelai said.
"Call me tonight." Rory said.
"Will do." Lorelai said before hanging up.
She took the keys out of the car and got out. She began walking towards the house- past the Chuppah that he made her and the garage that had his boat inside. She walked up the stairs he had fixed, near the porch railing he painted, past his shovel he had left leaning against the house, into the doorway where they had met many times, and past the spot that Bert used to sit. She glanced at the window he had fixed when he was drunk, and the couch they had spent many nights on. She went upstairs and into her bedroom, walking by the bed they had slept in together. She glanced over at the alarm clock that was still set to 5:02- the time Luke had to get up to open the diner, the sock drawer that still contained some of his gold-striped socks, and the jewelry box which held the necklace and earrings he had bought for her.
She sat down on her bed and glanced around the room. Everything reminded her of him. Everything. She sighed, and looked around one last time.
She couldn't- it'd be too hard.
"Luke? Luke?"
Luke jumped at the hands waving in front of his face. He had been doing that a lot lately- zoning out... He looked up to see Lulu standing in front of him.
"Sorry... uh what can I get for you?" He asked reaching in his pocket for his notepad.
"Oh, nothing... I was just confirming tomorrow." Lulu told him.
"Tomorrow?" He asked.
"Yes, be there at3alright, and bring your tools." Lulu said. He could hear her voice in his head saying 'dirty' and he almost let out a smile before he realized that it was only in his head.
"What?" He asked.
"The play? Fiddler on the Roof... You're signed up to help out with the sets." Lulu explained.
"Lulu, I don't have time for this." Hetold her.
"But Lorelai signed you up a few weeks ago, remember? YOu were going to build sets and she's making the costumes." She asked.
"Lorelai?...Oh, right, right...Is- is she still doing the costumes?" He asked.
"Oh, of course..." Lulu said. "But if it's too uncomfortable for you guys to be around each other, I understand... I mean, I sawthe ribbons and everything."
"No, no... It's fine. I'll be there at 3." Luke said.
"And don't forget the tools."
"I won't."
It wasn't until she left and the familiar sound of the bell above the door was heard, that he realized what he just did. He was going to see Lorelai. He was going to be around her for hours.That wasn't a bad thing- not at all. He wanted to see her, he needed to see her. It was just an awkward thing... and he wasn't sure how it was going to go.
He wanted to talk to her. He really needed to talk to her. He needed her to tell him that it really wasn't her pregnancy test. He needed to believe her.
He hadn't slept since that day at the pharmacy. He spent all night thinking about it. He ran through every word she said, her body language... Did she look pregnant? He tossed and turned all night- was she telling the truth or was she lying? He couldn't figure it out...
He wasn't sure what to do about the situation. He wanted to just ask her about it, but #1. She was never around and #2. How are you supposed to going about doing that when you just broke up?
He couldn't just walk up to her and ask if she was pregnant. He couldn't say that he thinks she's lying. Was he just supposed to wait around? Catch her drinking a beer 5 months later, and then he'd know... Wait 9 months and see if she suddenly has a kid? Would she tell him? ...Of course she'd tell him, right? She wouldn't just not tell him...
He couldn't keep wondering anymore. He couldn't keep lying awake in bed all night wondering if she was pregnant. He was going to ask her, no matter how awkward it was going to be.
He had to do it. He had to know.
Tomorrow, he'd ask her. Tomorrow, he'd know.
SHe dragged herself out of bed. It was noon and she had been awake for hours- she just didn't want to get up. She didn't want to face the day. She didn't want to go to the school and fit tons of screaming kids for costumes. It just made her think about how one of these days her kid would be one of them. Her kid. Her and Luke's kid. Their kid.
She wasn't in the mood, she had a bad headache that would definitely not get better by being around tons of little kids + Kirk + Carrie... Crazy Carrie as Luke called her...
She opened the door and was standing in the kitchen. She had been sleeping in Rory's room the past couple days... Her bed only reminded her of Luke, her entire room did, the entire house. Even Rory's room reminded her of him- the bookshelves he made her, the Luke's To-Go cups she still had in her trashcan, and of course that picture of Rory, Lorelai and Luke in front of Luke's that was framed and on her dresser. But, Rory's room was better than hers. Sure, the bed was tiny and the room was smaller, but it was closer to the kitchen, there's an upper... It was closer to the food she didn't feel like eating and the coffee that she no longer drank...
If Luke was around, he'd never let her drink it, but she would anyway. Now that he wasn't around, she just didn't want it. Funny how things work out like that...
She sighed and went upstairs, ready to start the day.
She walked into the auditorium, holding her tape measure, purse and a notebook. When she got behind stage she stopped dead in her tracks. There was Luke. There he was, just kneeling beside two boys, watching as they measured a piece of wood.
She quickly walked out of the room and then, she walkedthe long way around to the room she was supposed to be in.
She didn't know he was going to be there. Sure, she had signed him up with her a few weeks ago. She had teased him about being a cutesy couple that did weird stuff like this together, she even mentioned something about brightly colored, matching t-shirts... But she didn't think he'd come. Not now. Not with the break up and everything. The only reason he had agreed to it before was because it was for her...plus she did that little hair flip deal. But, why would he go now that they weren't together? It's not like he couldn't say no... because he could, he could always say no. Luke could always say no- except to her.
Her heart was practically beating out of her chest and she must have looked worried because Lulu came into the room and said, "Lorelai, are you OK?"
"Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah... I'm, yeah... I'm fine." Lorelai said.
"OK... Lee, Mark and Rachel are ready for their fittings..." Lulu said gesturing for 3 kids to come into the room.
"Alright." Lorelai said. "Who wants to go first?" She asked putting on her happy Lorelai face. All three of the happy, little kids raised their hands and jumped up and down squealing things like 'OOh me!' or 'pick mee mee me.'
Lorelai sighed and began to measure.
It had been two hours and it was now 'snack break' and he still hadn't seen her.
"Hey Lulu..." Luke said.
"Yes Luke?" She asked.
He opened his mouth to speak, but was interupted by a very loud noise.Lulu and Luke looked over to see, who else but Kirk.
"Kirk, what did I tell you?" Lulu said.
"But Timmy took my magic markers...even the one that smells like lemon. I love the lemon one." He complained.
"I know you love the lemon one, Kirk."
"And," He said dramatically, "He stole my cookie!"
"How many have you had?" She asked.
"One."
"Kirk." She said sternly.
"Lulu...I'm a growing boy." He whined.
Lulu turned to Luke. "Hold on, I'll be right back." She told him.
Luke nodded and shoved his hands in his pockets, waiting for her to come back. Just then, Crazy Carrie came waltzing in the room and walked right up to Luke.
"Hey there, Butch." She said seductively.
"Hey... Carrie." He muttered.
She starting stroking his shoulder and he tensed up, getting very uncomfortable. "C'mon, Butch, don't be sad.You can do so much better than that Lorelai Gilmore." She told him. "C'mon, I'll make you forget about her." She said with a wink.
He made a disgusted look, "You're married." He pointed out.
"Yeah, that's what they all say." She said with a shrug. "C'mon..." She said starting to tug at him arm.
"Carrie, you're the director... Shouldn't you be directing?"
"Snack break isn't over for 15 more minutes." She told him.
"Leave me alone." He said pulling his arm back.
"Fine... When you're ready, come and find me." She said with a wink.
He walked over to Lulu and attempted to get her attention, but Kirk was being Kirk and she was preoccupied.
"Hey, Billy... you know the costume lady?" He asked Billy who was sipping some apple juice and making very loud slurppy sounds.
"Yes." He said. "She's really nice." He said..
"Yeah she is."
"And pretty." Billy said.
"Yup. Do you know where she is?" Luke asked.
"Over there." He said pointing to a room down the hall.
"Thanks." He said and with that, he bolted down the hall.
Well... I guess you could call that a cliffhanger... Sorry? But I won't be able to update tomorrow or Saturday, so it's either this tonight or waiting until Sunday and having like one more scene... See, my logic is that I'll probably update sometime on Sunday anyway and so this way, you'll get two chapters by Sunday instead of justone... So there you go.
Anyways, as always: suggestions/ideas/good/bad/comments/ all of that other stuff... YOu know you wanna... Umm yes so any suggestions and stuff would be great. Feedback in general very very good. Yeah, well I'm tired and I still have to do this history project so this is about all of the A/N you're going to get... not like anyone really reads them because they aren't very important and are usually just me going on about absolutely nothing like I am right now. So yes, please, please, please review.
Oh and I'll probably get my new chapter of After it Fades up by Sunday or Monday...suggestions for that are welcome, too...You can leave them here or leave comments on that story...whatever.
LOL ok...this is the end of my A/N, for real this time.
Please review.