Chapter 12-Sometimes Solitude Is

Shigure tugged on the black tie, loosening it around his throat slightly. His eyes burned with lack of sleep and tears that simply wouldn't fall. Sighing raggedly, he ran his hands through the hair that he hadn't bothered to get cut since they had gotten news of the accident.

"You don't have to come. Hatori will be there to take care of everything." a low voice broke the silence, making him turn around and finally break out of himself.

Yuki stood in the door way of his room, his suit a sober grey and perfectly pressed in preparation for the funeral. His eyes were big and hollow in his deathly pale face, the only sign that the funeral was affecting him at all.

Shigure was tempted to take up the offer. He was tired and he hadn't really gotten over the shock and numbness that had plagued him ever since they had gotten word of the accident. A numbness that spread as the months passed and there was no change in Akito's condition. Hatori had been the one to make the decision to let her die and Shigure had nodded and added his signature along with his cousin's to the death certificate right after she had taken her last breath.

He had loved her, though. Despite everything, he had loved her and he at least owed her that much.

"No. I'll manage." He told his younger cousin. Yuki only gave him a long look that Shigure managed to ignore until Yuki finally gave a soft sigh and walked down to the kitchen.

He knew he was being stubborn about the whole deal. They probably all were, since they all were coming. He could smell all of them, the ones with an animal and the ones without as they spoke in low voices in the living room. He knew that they were going to see whether the one that had held them in abject terror was really dead. Not out of love.

Not like Kureno and himself. They were the only ones that really loved her, not out of fear or duty, but as a person. As a woman that, if things had been different, would have been free to live her own life and possibly even have been happy.

It was too late for all of that. All that awaited her was cremation and her ashes to be interred in the Sohma plot. Maybe if he ever did get married, he would call a child after her. But that wouldn't happen for a long time. Or would it even happen? He asked himself as he finally got himself together enough to walk downstairs.

He wished he knew the answer for sure.

(Line Break)

"How do you feel?" Rin asked Yuki as they sat on the porch and caught a few moments of privacy before they were all herded in different cars and driven to the funeral home. Hatori had vaguely mentioned a time, but no one really caught it, supposing that they would be told once Hatori got irritated enough to shove them outside.

Yuki looked at her and shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know." He replied truthfully, turning his head and staring straight ahead at the tree in the garden.

"I guess I should be happy that she's gone. I guess I should be grateful to know that the curse will pass soon enough. But I don't feel anything like that." he told her, his voice flat and quiet as he spoke.

Rin shifted and moved closer to him, sharing his warmth in the chilly December morning.

"Is that bad?" he asked as he wrapped his arm around her and kissed the top of her head.

"I don't think so." Rin finally replied as she mulled the question over in her mind. She too was worried about the curious emptiness that she felt the minute that Hatori and Shigure had confirmed Akito's death. Kureno had closed his eyes, but not fast enough to prevent the tear from slipping down his face. Hatori had been clinical about the entire situation, but the tiredness in his eye had been palpable. Shigure had looked like he had shattered slightly in that moment, and despite recovering quickly, it had been too evident that it had happened.

But Yuki had done nothing and neither had she; which had puzzled her to no end, since she had at least expected to feel some kind of triumph or relief that the orchestrator of her misery was gone. But nothing came forth. Absolutely nothing.
"I think it's bad for her, not for us. She tried so hard to keep us in her clutches and to have us love her and no one else, yet in the end, she couldn't even manage that. That's probably what is bad."

Yuki nodded and twined his fingers in her hair.

"Kureno and Shigure loved her though. They are really hurt by her death."

"Kureno pitied her. He only stayed with her because she had no one else. Her mother used her and hurt her, who else could she turn to? Shigure...in his own way, he loved her. But he also wanted to smother her with his love. That isn't love, in the end. Just a sick parody of it."

Yuki smiled bitterly before tilted Rin face up to his.

"Just like what I had with Kyoko." he said resignedly, making Rin's eyes widen at the admission. She opened her mouth to speak, to tell him that she didn't meant to insult him, but Yuki put his hand over her mouth to stop the flow of words.

"I'm not angry and I'm not hurt. I'm merely stating the truth that I should have seen years ago. If I had, then maybe Hatsuharu wouldn't have ended up blind. Maybe Kyoko wouldn't have been raped. And maybe, I would have been smart enough to see that you have always been the one that I love."

Rin's eyes widened at that and she pulled his hand away from her mouth.

"Don't joke, Yuki. Not about that." she rasped out harshly, her head spinning at the words he had just spoke to her. Yuki snorted.

"When have you ever known me to joke about something so important, Isuzu? Is it that difficult to accept that I've finally come to my sense and accepted that I love you?" Rin's mouth opened and closed soundlessly several times as tears started to slide down her cheeks in rapid succession. Yuki smiled lopsidedly, his own eyes tearing up as he tilted his head and pressed his lips over hers.

The kiss was nothing like the ones they had shared in the past. It was soft, delicate and most importantly, filled with the emotion that Yuki had spoken of earlier. Rin could only choke back both sobs and laughter as he kissed her. He had been right, she realized. He did love her.

(Line Break)

The cemetery was snowy and quiet once they finally got there. The cremation had gone well, despite the small sensationalism created by Kyoko and Haru's arrival with the baby bundled in Kyoko's arms. She had had the grace to look embarrassed and had quickly procured seats and had sat down quietly to ride out the service until the very end.

Luckily, the service wasn't very long and afterwards, the female Sohmas had ambushed Kyoko and the child while the men had surrounded Hatsuharu.

"We didn't think you'd come." Hatori had commented once they had shaken hands. Haru shrugged.

"We didn't think we would either, but she was family and we did owe her the duty to be here." Haru replied nonchalantly, pushing up his sunglasses with his index finger.

"Is that really it?" Hatori asked in a low voice. Haru tilted his head at his older cousin.

"Is that what you have been asking yourself?" Hatori blinked at the question.

"She's dead. Let's just leave it at that, despite knowing that all of us came here with a different reason. I don't think any of us was really that sad to see her go apart from Kureno, that is. Let her have that much dignity in her death."

Hatori laughed softly and shook his head at the words. Hatsuharu never ceased to surprise him with those insights that showed Haru wasn't an idiot like the family history liked to paint him as.

There was no more conversation, since Kisa came up and dragged Haru towards Kyoko, who was standing with Shishou, showing him his first grandson.

Hatori watched him go and sighed. Haru was right. There was no point in dragging Akito's name through the mud. She had lived and died unhappily and now she was gone. That would be the end of her. In time, the wounds she inflicted would heal and they would all learn to live normally. And she would be forgotten and relegated to the family annals. And that would be the end of her.

"A tale told by a madman/full of sound and fury/signifying nothing." Hatori murmured before he too went off in search of Tohru.

(Line Break)

"The child's his, isn't it?" Shigure asked Kazuma-dono as they watched Kisa, Kagura, Tohru and even Isuzu fawn over the baby, who was staring at them with sleepy grey eyes as he was passed from pair to pair of waiting arms.

"Thank god. I'm sure it would have broken her if it wasn't." Kazuma replied mildly as he turned to the haunted man beside him.

"I know she was bad. She was cruel and sadistic. But I still will miss her." Shigure murmured as he took a sip of the tea he was holding. Kazuma watched him coolly before he nodded.

"I understand. I'm not going to make you feel guilty about your emotions. I do know to respect the dead and to respect emotions."

"I wish things had turned out different for all of us." Shigure whispered as he watched Yuki talk to Kyoko and Haru.

Kazuma shrugged. "They will. Eventually."

(Line Break)

"Is she happy?" Yuki asked Haru the minute he was able to pull him away from Kyoko's side.

Haru tilted his head to one side and laughed softly.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" Yuki laughed softly.

"Touché. But yes. I am happy. So's Isuzu."

"Good. And yes, She's happy. Even more so that she can come back to Shishou's house with Hikaru." He paused and crossed his arms. "Unless you have decided to stay there permanently?"

"No. I'm living with Shigure and Isuzu again. You have your home back." Yuki looked down at the ground for several minutes before he looked up.

"And for what its worth, I'm sorry. For everything."

Haru was quiet for awhile before he finally gave Yuki a stiff nod and walked away.

"It's time to go." Rin whispered in his ear. Nodding, Yuki followed her, not bothering to look behind him. There was no point to it. His past was what had been buried in that cemetery. There was no point wasting time on it any longer. It was done.

End.

Notes: Okay and it is done. Thank you for sticking through with the gaps between updates on this piece. This chapter was interesting to write because the characters needed to have their say about Akito. If this were to have happened in the manga, this is how I would expect them all to behave on that. Kyoko doesn't really get a voice in this because she has shut that door of her past as soon as her son was born. For once, she was ahead of Haru, so she doesn't need the closure like the others do. Hatori quotes Macbeth in his own thoughts, in case anyone is wondering.

And that's it. Thank you.