Vegeta on a White Stallion? Not likely... -Chapter 5 - V-POV

And finally we have a chapter from Vegeta's POV. Covers basically a lot of what we've already read, but you know...from his view of things.

1,992...

1,993...

1,994...

I grunt each time I lower myself to the floor before pushing myself back up again. I'm almost at 2,000, the end of my morning pushups. It briefly crosses my mind that maybe I should up it to 3,000, but I quickly dismiss it. The thought has come to me almost everyday for the past month, but I always manage to squelch it with a simple question.

Why?

What's the point anymore? I have no need to become stronger. What, with Frieza gone, my sole purpose in LIFE is gone. Taken from me by a lowly third-class baka who knows nothing of the reasons the bastard had to die. Hell, he can't even say he did it to avenge his RACE. If he dared to say that, I'd have to blast him into the next dimension, the reason being he knows nothing about his own race either.

Kakarot.

I hate him. I hate him with a passion so deep, it astounds even me. Just the mere THOUGHT of his name angers me and I growl, moving quickly to finish my pushups.

1,995...

1,996...

1,997...

In an attempt to clear the image of that baka from my head, I try thinking of something else. Anything else. Of course, the first thing that comes to me is no better than the last.

That blue-haired woman.

What a bother SHE is. I admit, I AM grateful to her for allowing me to stay at her home. Otherwise, I would have nowhere to go. That's another thought that has plagued my mind for a while. I cannot stay here forever. After the androids, where will I go? I can't return to purging planets, as it is a thing of the past that was done only under Frieza's order. And I have too many enemies in the universe to try and live just anywhere. Shaking my head, I decide that I'll think about that later. I have three years after all. Or, closer to two and a half now, I guess. I've lost track of the time. I spend my days and most nights training none stop. Though lately, I've been slacking off in my night training. I can't seem to find the motivation for it anymore. And I'm positive the woman has something to do with it.

She is a constant reminder that I'm stuck on this lousy planet. And I'm in her debt. She has housed me, clothed me, and fed me. She provides me with training supplies that none of the other idiots have. And the thing is, she doesn't have to. I never threatened her for any of it, unlike on other planets in my past when I wanted to stay somewhere. Because of that, I have this feeling that I...owe her. And I hate it. I keep telling myself that I'm training to stop the androids, which is repayment enough, but I know that's not true. She would survive anyway. I'm the one that's to die. So in a roundabout way, I'm using all her facilities only to help myself. I'm trying to get stronger so I will survive. That thought again leads me back to the thought of how pointless my training has become. Kakarot, the bastard, has already reached the next level, something that I cannot seem to attain no matter how hard I try. I'm supposed to die anyway, so what if it's inevitable? What if fate, not that I believe in fate, has decided that I will die in three years time no matter what? If that is so, then I know my last thought would be how pointless my training was to begin with.

1,998...

1,999...

2,000...

Of course, it also comes back to me that I have nothing to live for anyway. The only reason I strived to stay alive when I was younger was to defeat that lizard, and now even that has been done for me.

I hate Kakarot.

Then again...Kakarot didn't kill him. That blasted CHILD from the future did! Yet another reminder of what others have accomplished that I cannot. HE was a Super Saiyan too. That doesn't lessen my anger at Kakarot at all though. The stupid baka that everyone loves and adores for reasons I cannot comprehend. It's HIS fault, after all, that the androids are going to be attacking us in three years. He didn't finish the job and kill Dr. Gero.

Weakling.

He let Frieza live too! I lower myself to the ground one last time and just lie there as the thought comes to me. What HAS he accomplished? Piccolo defeated Radditz because Kakarot was too weak-hearted to do so when he had the chance. He didn't defeat Frieza, it's his fault the androids are coming...what do the others see in him! I shake my head slightly and roll over onto my back to stare at the ceiling. I will most likely stay in this position for several hours to come. It's become a habit. Instead of becoming stronger, I'm getting weaker because of this damn circle of thoughts that keep coming to me.

I'm supposed to die anyway, so why train?

Even if I did train, it might be fate that I lose, so why train?

I have nowhere to go after the battle, and no wish to do anything, so why live on, why train?

I could say I still have to avenge my race, but that has already been done, so what's the point of living? Which, of course, brings me back to the ultimate question, why train?

I still need to become a Super Saiyan to defeat Kakarot, but no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to reach the breaking point...what's the point anymore?

Which once again, brings me back to Kakarot. Damn him. I DON'T understand why he is so loved!

...No, I'm not jealous, not at all. Just...confused. With everything. But mainly...with my purpose in this life. Nothing good has come of it. I was to be king, but my entire race has been reduced to the prince, and stupid third-class who can't remember anything about us anyway. Oh, and of course his half-breed brat. A huge disgrace, mixing our blood like that. I might have been born to rid the universe of Frieza...but apparently not. I'm obviously not needed to fight the androids, since I died anyway.

Damn it.

DAMN IT ALL!

Before I know it, I'm on my feet and my energy is swirling around, cackling with lightening every so often. I can feel my power level rising to its peak, as far as I can make it go. I know right then, that I'm gong to try again. I'm going to try to go the entire way. If I can, maybe it'll be the answer to all my questions. If I can get myself to go Super, then I might just be able to find my purpose in this life! In my fury and rage, a huge roar emits itself from my throat. I continue screaming until I can no longer breathe, my energy flaring dangerously around me. My power's at a height I've never reached before. I'm almost there! I think...I think that I might actually break this time. I'm just at the barrier, I can tell! Just a little more...

BAM!

In an instant, my power leaves me and I fall to my knees breathing heavily. I couldn't sustain it. Damn it. I punch the ground, a gasping breath coming from my lips. Fucking DAMN IT. Repeatedly my fists hit the ground, as if doing so I'll hit a button that will transform me. The sweat drips off my face and onto my hands as they slow in their pounding. Except, there's too much of the salty liquid for it to be just sweat. My eyes are burning, and immediately I know what it is.

FUCK!

Great, now I'm fucking CRYING! What the hell is happening to me! I've been reduced to a sniveling weakling! How could I have let myself be reduced to this? I should have been training this entire time, not pitying myself! Yet...not matter how much I yell at myself, I can't work up the energy. I know that I won't train, and it angers me yet again. It's never ending...

My stomach growls, but I ignore its pleas. I can't remember the last time I ate a decent meal. Food doesn't seem important to me anymore, just like everything else in the whole God-damned world. I'm sure that it's showing too. I've been avoiding the woman because of that. She constantly worries about me, and it annoys the hell out of me. And it makes me feel...I'll admit, slightly nervous. I don't know WHY she cares, and it bothers me. What good thing have I ever done for her? I constantly give her empty threats that she knows I will never follow through with. She appears to trust me, and I don't know why. She's yet another thing in this world that confuses me.

The list just seems to be getting longer, doesn't it?

I hate being confused.

& & & &

(A/N: Be prepared. When the chapters are from Vegeta's POV, scenes from Bulma's POV WILL be repeated occasionally.)

Eventually, night begins to fall, and I feel that I can leave the gravity chamber. I try to stay in here all day so I don't make anyone suspicious, but I know damn well that it's not working. I notice immediately that the woman is on her patio, but I pointedly ignore her as she stares at me. Somewhere inside of me, I find the energy needed to fly the short distance to my own balcony. It worries me a little that I find that so difficult to do, but what would you expect after not giving your body anything to get energy from? I quickly pushed the thought aside as I noticed that the woman was still staring at me.

"What are staring at?" I asked. I get the feeling that she WANTED me to talk as I noticed her perk up. She's so annoying.

"I was just wondering where you were going. Its pretty early for you to be done training." I blinked. Damn, she did notice I hadn't been training at night.

"I'm not going anywhere," I replied lamely. She looked doubtful, but accepted my answer.

"Really? Do you want some dinner then? You haven't been eating too well lately." Kami, she noticed that too? What, was she a stalker in her spare time? Before I could reply, I noticed her eyes widen. Shit...she looked worried...again. Stupid, baka woman. "Vegeta, are you ok?" she asked. Yep, there it was. She was worrying again. And I was fed up with it.

"Why do you care?" I blinked. I hadn't actually meant to ask that. But, I guess I really did want to know. Bul- er, the woman stood up suddenly and turned to face me.

"Vegeta, what's wrong? You're really starting to worry me." Ok, she just completely avoided the question. Well, she wasn't going to get off THAT easily. If she was going to ignore my question, then I would ignore hers.

"Why. Do. You. Care?" I repeated, sounding more urgent than I'd intended to. She blinked at me.

"I just...do, Vegeta," she replied after a while. Oh yay, that was EVER so helpful. Thank you, Bulma. "I...I don't know WHY. You live here, so I should care what happens to you," she continued on.

"You care now, but only a few months ago, you wouldn't have given a damn. Am I right?" I asked, crossing my arms. As long as we were talking, I wanted answers.

"Well of course." Ok, it sort of stung the way she said that, but I ignored it. How could she worry about me now, but then she didn't give a damn? I hadn't changed at all! At least, I didn't think I had. I voiced this out loud, but she just snorted at me. Interesting sound, coming from her. I ignored it though, and insisted that I HADN'T changed. Of course, she decided to try and prove me wrong.

"You're talking to me. Goku's still alive and you aren't at his house threatening to kill him. You keep insisting that you're training so you'll be strong enough to defeat the androids, which means you will be working with us. You've changed Vegeta." And it worked. Damn.

"I guess I have," I admitted. "This fucking mud ball of a planet has been wearing off on me," I continued on, more to myself than to her. Then, out of nowhere, she asked the most bizarre question.

"So, where have you been for these past three months?" I blinked. What the hell? What type of moron was she?

"Here," I replied, causing her to roll her eyes at me.

"At NIGHT," she said. Yeah...the answer was definitely still the same. What was she getting at?

"HERE," I repeated.

"...Seriously?" Stupid, baka onna...

"uh-huh."

"...oh," And you wonder why she confuses me. With a slight shake of my head, I continued on to my room, but her voice stopped me. "Hey Vegeta!" she yelled. I stopped and glanced back at her. "Are you sure you're not hungry?" It took an incredible amount of effort to make my stomach NOT growl, but it worked.

"Positive," I answered, leaving before she could say anything else. I vaguely realized that that was the first real conversation we'd had in months. But if I thought that was the last I'd see of her for a while, boy was I wrong.

As it got dark out, I left my room again and flew silently up to the roof. This place was my sanctuary. As far as I knew, no one else came up here, so I could be completely alone. I don't know why I felt the need to be alone with thoughts. They could only plague me more, after all. I guess I liked looking at the stars or something. I'd been to quite a few of them in my life, and caused quite a few others to disappear. Of course, it didn't really matter to me. I shifted my gaze to a particular spot in the sky. If I was right, that was where Vegetasei used to be. I could tell because of the arrangement of the stars around the gaping black space. I don't know why I like staring at that spot. It was only another reminder of the whole "I'm the only one left of my race/I couldn't avenge my race/why should I train?" thing. I was so lost in my thoughts, that I didn't notice a certain blue head pop up over the edge of the roof. She just couldn't leave me alone, could she? But...she had food with her. And I was starving. In the span of a minute, everything she had brought up with her was gone, and we sat in fairly comfortable silence. I admit, I didn't mind being with her when she was silent. Of course, then she had to start talking.

I didn't mean to start ranting at her. Honestly. But the way she acted around me just set me off. Come on, I know I don't apologize much, but it wasn't as if the word has never left my mouth. She made such a big fucking deal about it. And then she tried to get me talking about my past...which for some reason didn't bother me. I was sort of...grateful that at least SOMEONE was interested in what I went through. Not that I would EVER tell her the horrors I had lived. She wouldn't be able to handle it. Of that, I'm positive. I don't care how fiery she may be. I could talk about Vegetasei though, and I found myself wanting to tell her about it. But...that would ruin my image, talking openly. Or it would allow her to think that I ENJOYED talking to her, and I couldn't have that either. She was a big enough distraction already; I didn't need her trying to have friendly conversations with my every time I stepped out of the gravity chamber. As it was, she knew that I liked my privacy, and for the most part she let me have it. So I told her small facts about my past. Little, insignificant things. Things I hardly even remembered. I also learned from her that she'd broken up with that fool, Yamcha. About time, I think. But then...then she asked why I tensed up all the time. The tensing up is an involuntary thing. I told her "training was harsh," and that wasn't a lie. From my experience, if someone was close enough to touch you, they were close enough to hurt you. And that happened quite often to me in my youth. Even when I know it's just the woman, I can't help it. For all I know, she could have a dagger that she's planning on stabbing me with. On a more embarrassing note, if someone's close enough to touch me, then it's possible they could find out one of my main weaknesses other than my tail.

As much as I hate to say it, I'm...ticklish. Imagine what mayhem THAT could cause. "The great Saiyan no Ouji died of suffocation yesterday. He was being tickled by his enemy and couldn't breathe any longer." Bah. Wouldn't that be wonderful.

Somehow, all my ranting out loud seemed to help. The woman somehow managed to twist my mind around, back to the way I used to think. Hearing all of my problems aloud let me realize how...childish I was being. It disgusted me, honestly. I'd wasted a good three months moping. What a disgrace. And I was supposed to be the Saiyan no Ouji. Huh, right. So, I don't know how she did it, but she persuaded me to train again. Train...and eat. Kami, was I hungry. I admitted that willingly when she asked. If I was going to go back to normal, I might as well do it completely.

"You hungry?" she asked, and that time I allowed my stomach to growl as I admitted sheepishly that I was. She said she'd fix me something, and we headed toward her kitchen, where we had one our most interesting conversations thus far.

"Hey Vegeta?" she said hesitantly, causing me to glance up from my food. She paused for a minute before asking, "Do...do you think you'll ever settle down?" I raised an eyebrow. Settle down? What the hell was THAT supposed to mean?

"Settle down?"

"Yeah, you know, and start a family?" Oh, family, right...um, how about, hell no!

"Dunno," I said instead, swallowing. "I never really thought about it. If I ever do, it won't be anytime soon because of the androids, and it won't be on this planet." She frowned at me.

"Why not?" I shrugged again. What did she want me to say?

"The women here are too pathetic. Strength wise," I added quickly when she opened her mouth. I wasn't in the mood for an argument, though we hadn't had one in a while. "They might get hurt or something," I muttered, smirking. She snorted.

"Excuse me?" she asked. "Chichi had Gohan," she pointed out. Ha, THAT was an easy one to answer.

"Yes, well, Kakarot was a lot weaker then, and his mate is one of the strongest women on the planet, is she not? And I noticed they only have the ONE brat."

"I...well...ok fine. That's true. But still!" Vegeta: one. Bulma: zero. Hehehe.

"Why do you ask?" I finally inquired, the curiosity getting to me. She paused and seemed to think something over before answering me.

"I was just thinking a about that guy from future," she said, picking up my plate and heading towards the sink. Okaaay, THAT didn't help me any.

"What about him?" I asked.

"When he came to tell us about the androids, you said he was lying about being a Saiyan. But just a little while ago, when we were outside, you said he DID go Super Saiyan." Damn, she caught that. I shrugged. Oh well.

"He did," I grumbled. "But what does that matter?"

"Well...he came from the future, but he hasn't been born yet here. And he's not Goku's son, that was pretty obvious, so..." She raised her hands and shrugged her shoulders, looking clueless. I blinked. What the hell? Who gives a damn?

"What does it matter if he's not Kakarrot's son? What're you-" I paused, suddenly understanding what she was getting at. No. No way in HELL. "Do you think he's...MY son?" I asked, my eyes widening slightly despite myself. She nodded slowly, and I let out some sort of grunt. Damn. No, it wasn't possible! Except for the fact that...it was entirely possible. Shit. "I hadn't thought about it... I suppose it's...possible," I said slowly, trying not to show any emotion. I sat there for a few minutes, and then quickly pushed myself away from the table and headed out of the kitchen. When she called after me to see what I was doing, I simply told her I was going to bed. What business was it of hers?

I lied on my bed for a long time that night, just staring at the ceiling. I didn't WANT a son, I knew that for sure. But that could be avoided easily. Just...don't have sex for three years, right? Not a problem. I wasn't exactly planning on doing that anyway. With that plan in mind, I finally let my eyes drift close. Truth be told, I was exhausted. I hadn't slept well it months. Tomorrow I'd be going back to my old routine. Of that, I was positive. The reason I was so sure of myself, was because I was actually looking forward to it.

More plot actually happens in the next chapter, hehe.

-Maxine