Different Path
Chapter 15:
Disclaimer: It's still not mine :)
Summary: She needed a guarantee that he would love her forever, and now she may have just gotten it. A story about Luke and Lorelai
A/N: Alright, so this is amazing. I have a snow day. Nobody will ever understand how amazing this is. My town NEVER EVER has snow days, and already we have had two! I don't think I have ever had two snow days in one year in my entire life… Actually, I think I've only had like two snow days in my entire life, before this year… And we only got like a few inches of snow… Stupid town.
So, I'm grounded for the day… Very long story… But, since I'm working on my 'bio lab' you guys get an update. Let's do the wave! Yay.
Anyways…
This is a really, really long chapter. I deserve many, many reviews, don't you think?
Plus, you better get your reviews in while you can. Believe me, you'll miss reviewing this once it's gone… Haha, alright, on with the story.
She studied herself in the mirror, trying to figure out if she looked any different. Was she showing? Did she have that glow that people always talked about? Were her boobs bigger than they were last month?
She sighed and sat down on her bed.
In a few months, she'd be ugly and swollen. She'd pee a little when she laughed. Her hair would always be in bad hair day mode, and she wouldn't be able to fit into any of her pants. She wear ugly maternity clothes and waddle around like a penguin on crack.
And Rachel would still be skinny and beautiful. Her hair would be shiny and she would fit perfectly in her pants.
So, how could she blame Luke if he wanted to go back with her? She couldn't.
Rachel would be normal, and funny, and beautiful. And Lorelai would be… pregnant.
She sighed again, and put her hand on her stomach. She knew she had to talk to him. She needed him to tell her that he would always be there. She needed him to hold her and say that no matter how fat or cranky she got, he'd never leave her. She needed him to tell her that he loved her and he didn't want to be with anyone else. He didn't want to be with Rachel.
But what if he didn't tell her those things? What if he said everything she was afraid to hear? What if he left? What if she had to raise this kid alone… Without Luke.
How did everything get so screwed up? How did she get back here? Back to this place that she had been when they were broken up. This place full of too many doubts to count, and endless worries and paranoia.
She didn't like this place. She wanted to leave it, but she knew she wouldn't be able to. Not until she talked to Luke.
She walked down the crowded streets of Stars Hollow, doing her best to ignore all the townspeople. She heard all the scattered whispers. After all, this was Stars Hollow and nobody was very good at the whole whispering concept.
As she walked down the street, she caught bits and pieces of conversation.
"Do you think they'll get married?"
"How do you think he'll propose?"
"Do you think she'll say yes?"
"She said no to Rory's father… Maybe she'll say no to Luke, too."
"So, that's why they got back together… She's pregnant."
"Maybe he just feels bad for her.
"Do you think it'll last?"
"Luke wouldn't let her do it by herself."
"Maybe she'll run away and take the kid."
"Maybe she'll leave the kid with him."
"Do you think it'll be a boy or girl?"
"I bet they'll get married."
"I'm betting a summer wedding."
"Lorelai loves the snow… I'm betting a winter wedding."
"Maybe they'll get married before the baby's born."
"No, they'll wait until after the baby is born… Lorelai wouldn't want to be fat in her wedding dress."
"What do you think Rory thinks of this?"
"I bet Rory's really happy."
"Maybe she'll marry Christopher now… He'll raise Luke's baby just like Luke helped raise his."
"What do you think the ring look like?"
"Maybe he'll give her his mother's ring."
"Maybe they'll elope."
"Oh, I hope not… The town would be devastated."
"Do you think he'll move in with her?"
"She wouldn't let him move in... No way"
"What do you think her parents said?"
"I bet she hasn't told them."
"Maybe he'll ask for their permission?"
"No way, they'd never give it to them."
"Maybe he'll ask Rory for her permission?"
"Maybe… We should ask her if she knows anything."
"I bet Luke will give her two thousand daises."
"Didn't Max give her a thousand?"
"Maybe he'll put it in something… Pie, maybe."
"No, she'd just eat it."
"They won't get married."
"Yes they will… Luke loves her, he'll ask."
"I bet you $10."
"You're on."
She finally made it into the diner, where all eyes fixated on her. She ignored them, and walked behind the curtain and up the stairs.
"Hey?" He said, with question as he opened his apartment door and saw Lorelai standing there.
"Hi." She said, not waiting for him to let her in.
"What are you doing here? I thought I was coming to your place later tonight." He said.
"I know, I know…" She said, nervously. "But I had to talk to you." She said, beginning to pace a little.
"O-K." He said, stretching out the word, as if he was trying to go over everything she could possibly want to talk about, in his mind.
"Can we sit?" She asked, gesturing towards the kitchen table.
"Sure." He said, suspiciously.
She nodded, and went over to the table. He followed close behind.
"Want anything? I have left over pie in the fridge." He said.
"No thanks." She said, taking a seat and beginning to drum her fingers on the wood.
"You sure?" He asked, knowing this must be serious if she was denying pie.
"Yup." She said, quickly.
"OK." He said, taking at seat at the table, next to her. "What do you want to talk about?" He asked.
"Uhh… Well, I just… I just need to know how this is going to work." She said, nervously.
"What?" He asked.
"This." She said, gesturing towards her stomach.
"Oh." He said, nodding.
"I mean, are you going to move in with me? Are you just going to come and visit every once in awhile? I just need to know… You know, what your role is going to be." Lorelai said.
"I'll do whatever you want me to do, Lorelai." He said.
She sighed. That's not the answer she wanted.
"I don't want to tell you what to do, Luke… I want you… to do whatever you want, I don't want to tie you down and make you do things." Lorelai said.
He put his hand on hers and squeezed it. "You aren't tying me down…I am doing what I want… I love you and I'm not leaving." He said.
She still wasn't satisfied.
"But what happens when you don't love me anymore?" She asked.
The question obviously shocked him. "What?" He asked.
"What if we break up or drift apart or what if you decide you don't want to be together anymore… What then?" She asked.
"I'm not anticipating that happening." He told him.
She sighed. "I'll be fat… really fat… Here, you need a visual." She said, as she got up and walked over to the bed. She took a pillow off the bed and stuffed it up her shirt. Luke smiled as she had trouble fitting it all in her shirt.
"OK now, imagine this… plus messy hair." She said, as she took out her ponytail and messed up her hair. "And stretch marks…I'll always smell like throw up… Well, I already smell like throw up." She babbled on.
"No you don't." He told her, still sitting at the kitchen table, slightly amused by the situation.
"I'll never be able to sleep and I'll move around a lot, and probably wake you up." She said. "And I'll sweat a lot." She added.
"I don't mind." He said.
"You say that now." She said, pointing her finger at him. "Who knows how you'll feel a few months from now." She said. "When my fingers and face are swollen and I have to pee every five seconds… and if you think I eat a lot now, you just wait." She said.
He stood up and walked over to her, setting his hands on her waist. "Where's this coming from?" He asked.
"I'm just making sure you know what you're getting yourself into." She said.
"I know, believe me." He told her.
She sighed. "So…?" She asked.
"What?" He asked her.
"You never answered my question." She pointed out.
"What was the question?" He asked.
She sighed. "I need to know how this is going to work." She told him, touching her stomach.
"It's going to work." He told her, surely.
"But, how?" She asked him. She wasn't giving up yet. She needed her answers.
"I don't know, Lorelai." He said, pulling away from her. "We'll make it work." He said.
"How?" She asked again.
"I'm not sure." He told her.
"OK." She said, obviously a little frustrated.
"I can't just tell you how it's going to be, Lorelai. I'm not some fortuneteller… I don't have a crystal ball. I don't know what's going to happen." He said.
"OK." She said, looking down at her feet. She wasn't sure what she went there for. What was she even asking him, anyway? She just wanted to know that he'd always be there. She wanted to know that he would be there forever, that he would never ever leave. But, she couldn't just believe his words. I mean, he could change his mind. He could decide later that he didn't want to be with her. Just because he said he'd be there, didn't mean that he would actually always be there. She needed something more. She needed a guarantee.
But he hadn't given her one.
"I have to go." She told him.
"Are you mad?" He asked her.
She looked up at him and gave him an unconvincing smile. "No, I'm not mad." She told him.
"I'm sorry." He offered.
"Don't be." She said, before patting his chest, and then walking away, shutting the apartment door behind her.
That night, she couldn't sleep. All she could do was stare at the clock. Watch as it ticked over and over, as the minutes passed slowly. The small, purple, fuzzy alarm clock watched as she stared at the numbers, calculating how much time was left before she had to get up, in her head.
But, life is always one big question when you're staring at the clock.
Who said that stoners couldn't be smart? She hadn't listened to the song in years, but the lyrics kept going through her head. Well, actually, only that one particular lyric, but that wasn't important.
She wanted to sleep so badly, but she couldn't turn her mind off, and she couldn't pry her eyes away from that stupid, fuzzy clock.
Her conversation with Luke played through her head over and over again, until she had analyzed every single word he said.
She just wanted to know that this would all work out. That she wouldn't end up alone in five years with a child to raise all on her own. That she wouldn't end up with her heart broken and even worse, her child's heart broken.
She just wanted to know that he was really in this. That he wouldn't change his mind once it was all happening. That he wouldn't change his mind once they had a baby and he couldn't get more than two hours of sleep a night. She just needed to know that he was sure.
She just wanted to know if she'd be doing this alone, or if he would help out. Would he stop by and visit? Would he change a few diapers and tell a bedtime story or two? Would he just be the guy that helped out every once in a while or would he be a father?
Would it just be her, with a little of his help, or would it be the two of the raising this baby together? Would he help her pick out the name, or would he just go along with whatever she wanted? Would they make decisions together, or would it always be up to her?
She sighed, and blinked a few times. Her eyes burned. She had been staring at the clock for too long.
Life is always one big question when you're staring at the clock.
With that, she rolled out of bed and put on a sweatshirt. She was dizzy at first. Maybe she had stood up too fast. She felt lightheaded and grabbed on to the railing, until she could see again. She made her way downstairs and into Rory's room, where she pulled out the baby blanket and necklace her mother had given her.
She rubbed the baby blanket against her cheek. It was still so soft. After all these years, it was still as soft as she remembered. She put it down on the table and focused on the necklace.
Marriage.
Her mother was already thinking about it, the town was already thinking about it.
And maybe she was a little, too.
He said he loved her, would he ask? He said he wanted to be with her forever, doesn't that mean marriage? So, why hasn't he asked her?
Maybe he just thinks she would say no. Maybe he's waiting for the right time. Maybe he's waiting until after the baby's born.
Maybe he's waiting until he's sure he wants this. Maybe he's not actually sure if he wants this. Maybe he has doubts.
Maybe he doesn't want to get married. Maybe he doesn't want to marry her.
She fought the tears that were starting to form in her eyes, and shoved the necklace back in the drawer, with a slam. Then, she grabbed the baby blanket and lied down on Rory's bad.
She held it tightly against her cheeks, and tried not to get it wet.
"Hey Sookie." Lorelai said, tiredly as she reached for some coffee.
"That's not decaf!" Sookie shrieked.
Lorelai shrugged, and pressed the cup against her lips, smelling it before she took a sip.
"You can't have that!" Sookie said, as she took it away.
"Ahh." Lorelai said, as she watched Sookie walk away with it. She followed her around the kitchen. "One sip." Lorelai pleaded.
"No." Sookie said.
"One tiny, little sip." Lorelai begged.
"No." Sookie said again.
"Please Sookie, I didn't sleep at all… I need coffee or I will die and then you will then be best friendless and it would be very sad." Lorelai said.
"You can't have decaf." Sookie said.
"I won't tell." Lorelai said.
"Luke would kill me." Sookie told her.
At the mention of Luke, Lorelai froze.
"Lorelai?" Sookie asked, noticing her weird behavior. "What's wrong?"
"Uh… Oh, it's nothing. I just remembered something." Lorelai said, still in a daze.
"OK." Sookie said suspiciously.
"I'll see you later, Sookie." Lorelai said, before heading towards the door.
"Don't forget, the baby shower's tonight!" Sookie called.
"Who could forget?" Lorelai said, sarcastically, as she walked through the door.
"Wait! Your coffee!" Sookie yelled, but Lorelai was already out the door. She shrugged and went back to the oven.
Lorelai sighed once the kitchen door was closed. She didn't want questions right now. She didn't want to talk about it.
"Hey Lorelai!" Rachel called.
"Oh, hey." Lorelai said softly.
"You, OK?" Rachel asked.
"Oh… yeah. I'm fine, I'm just… coffee withdrawal, you know." Lorelai shrugged.
"Right." Rachel nodded.
"So, what's up?" Lorelai asked, making small talk.
"Not much… Just got off the phone with my sister. Her party is next week and she's going crazy, so I'm going to go down there and help her out today." Rachel said.
"Oh." Lorelai said, as if she was interested.
"But, hey, I'm excited about your party tonight… Nobody knows how to throw a party like this place, that's for sure." Rachel said.
"Yup." Lorelai said, nodding her head. "So… You're coming?" She asked.
"Of course… I'll bring my camera and I can take a few pictures… You and Luke will want to remember this night." Rachel smiled.
Lorelai smiled. "That'd be great, Rachel. Thanks." She said, hoping it sounded sincere.
Rachel smiled. "Well, I better go… Kim's is having a major crisis." Rachel said with a laugh, and quotations.
"Alright, see you later." Lorelai said.
"Bye."
"Lorelai!" Kirk called from the door. He was hidden behind the huge package he was pushing, on one of those lifty, rolly things.
"Kirk." Lorelai said with a sigh. She hadn't had any coffee and there was no way she'd be able to deal with Kirk.
"Here." He said, putting the package down, and wiping his forehead.
"What is this, Kirk?" She asked, practically groaning.
"Your baby shower present." He said, proudly.
"My what? The shower is tonight." She told him.
"I know." He said.
"So, why are you giving it to me now?" She asked.
"Well, tonight you will be surrounded by gifts. You'll open them and write down who bought what, and then you'll toss it aside. This way you'll have more time to appreciate the gift… Plus, I didn't want to risk anybody else having the same idea as me… this way it will have been my idea first." He explained.
"OK." She shrugged. She sat down on the couch and tried to open the package.
"Here." Kirk said, taking out a Swiss Army knife from his back pocket, and beginning to ripe the tape off the box.
"Are you allowed to have one of those, Kirk?" She asked.
"You aren't going to tell my mother are you?" Kirk asked, suddenly very worried.
Lorelai laughed. "Just be careful with it, alright?" She said.
He nodded, and pulled out two wrapped gifts from the big box.
"Here you go." He said, placing them on the table.
"Oh boy." She said, clapping her hands together, deciding which to open first.
She picked up the one on the right and began to tear the wrapping paper open. "It's like Christmas." She said.
She froze when she tore the wrapping paper off and the present was revealed.
"Kirk?" She asked.
"Yes?" He replied.
"You got me a breast pump?" She asked, staring down at the present.
"It's a very practical gift, Lorelai." He said.
"It is?" She asked, picking it up and examining it.
"Yes… You'll be thanking me someday." He told her.
"Alright." She said, still looking at the box oddly.
"Open the other one." He begged her.
"I'm afraid to." She said.
"Open it." He told her again.
She shrugged, and tore the wrapping paper of the other present. She opened it and smiled.
"Aw Kirk, thank you." She said, with a smile.
"You like it?" He asked.
"I love it. It's beautiful." She said, touching it. It was a cake made entirely out of diapers, and decorated beautifully.
"I wasn't sure if it was a boy or girl, so I decided that the Curious George theme would be best… Everyone loves Curious George." He said.
"Yeah, they do." She said, admiring the present. It was a huge diaper, with Curious George on it. The rest was covered it red confetti. Inside the diaper was a baby bottle, a pacifier, a comb, spoon, fork, a teething ring, a hairbrush, and a small toy monkey.
"I almost got the 'Just Ducky' one, but then I thought… What if it's afraid of ducks?" Kirk said. "That would have been horrible."
"Oh yeah." Lorelai nodded.
"Then, it was almost the 'Playful Puppy' but it was blue and that was too boyish… and then there the whole, what if he's afraid of puppies issue. You can never be too sure." Kirk said.
"Right… But, Kirk, what if he's afraid of monkeys?" Lorelai asked.
"Oh no, you don't think… You're right… I better take it back. I'll just get something else." Kirk said. "And I was trying so hard to get you the perfect gift… I knew I should have just stuck with the baby blanket or a really big teddy bear." He said.
"No, Kirk, it's fine." She said, trying to calm him down.
"No, no I promise I'll get you something even better! Maybe some pacifier clips… or a really nice rattle. I saw a really nice handprint kit." Kirk said, scratching his forehead.
"No, no Kirk, I like this… I really like this." She said, pointing to the basket.
"You do?"
"Yeah." She said. "Plus, everybody loves Curious George, right?" She asked.
"Yep." He answered.
"Alright." She said, patting her legs and beginning to stand up.
"Aren't you going to take the breast pump?" He asked, as she began to walk away.
"I'll just get that one later." She said.
Kirk shrugged, and followed her.
She put the cake on the desk, and turned to face Kirk.
"Thanks Kirk, really, it was a great gift." She said, giving him a hug.
"You're welcome." He said, finding her behavior odd.
"I'm glad I got some extra time to appreciate it." She told him, laughing slightly.
"I better go, I have to get down to the diner before Luke runs out of pepperoni." Kirk said, already beginning to hurry towards the door.
"Bye Kirk." She said, laughing as he ran out the door.
She turned to look at her present, and examined it for a while, looking at all the little details, like the Q-tips that were tied together in little yellow bows. She wondered why it came with Q-tips. Incase she wanted to clean her ears while she was using her breast pump.
She looked over at the breast pump sitting on the table, and laughed.
And then, the phone rang.
Lorelai looked around to see if Michel was there, and planning on answering the phone. But, he was nowhere to be seen, and Lorelai decided she better pick it up.
"Hello?"
"Lorelai?"
"Luke?"
"Hey."
"Hi."
"Hi." He said, softly.
"What's up?" She asked.
"Just checking in… You didn't come to the diner this morning."
"I know. I woke up late." She lied. Truth was, she just didn't feel like seeing him.
"Oh, OK."
"Yep." She said, twirling a piece of hair between her fingers.
"So… Are you OK?" He asked.
"Fine." She answered, quickly.
"OK." He said, slowly, obviously not convinced.
"Yep." She replied.
"So, will I see you later today?" He asked.
"Not until the party." She answered. "I have a lot to do." She lied, again.
"Oh." He said.
"Yeah, the Inn is crazy… It must be a really good time of year for vacation." Lorelai said.
"Right…" He said.
"So, I'll see you later?" She asked.
"Yeah, at the party." He said.
"OK. Bye." She said, before hanging up.
She sighed. She hated this. She hated doing this. But she needed time. She needed to figure out some things. She had to think.
"Lorelai?" Sookie called, as she made her way out of the kitchen.
"Hey." Lorelai said, with a tiny smile.
"What's this?" She asked.
"A Curious George diaper cake… Kirk gave it to me." Lorelai said with a smile.
"Wow." Sookie said, looking inside of it.
"Yeah, it goes great with the breast pump he also gave me."
"Breast pump?"
"Yup."
"Wow. Weird." Sookie said.
"Very." Lorelai answered.
"What do you do with a diaper cake anyway?" Sookie asked, changing the subject.
"I don't know, but it's pretty… I think I'll name it Earl."
"Mom!" Rory called, as she ran over to her mother.
"Hey kid!" Lorelai grinned, as she hugged her daughter.
Rory touched her stomach. "I think I can see it." Rory smiled.
Lorelai returned her smile. "Really?" She asked.
"Yup, just a little bit." Rory said.
"Great… It's all downhill from here… Better take a picture because the next time you see me I will be 400lbs and have hair on my lip." Lorelai said.
"Why would you have hair on your lip?" Rory asked.
"I don't know. I read somewhere that you grow lots of hair when you're pregnant." Lorelai shrugged.
"Gross." Rory said
"Yeah." Lorelai agreed.
"Where's Luke?" Rory asked.
"I don't know." Lorelai said, looking around the square. "He's probably in the diner still." She shrugged.
"OK." Rory said.
"Girls!" Emily called from a few feet away. She waved at them, and they smiled.
"Hey Mom." Lorelai said. "Where's Dad?" She asked.
"He's stuck in a meeting. He might be able to make it later, but he says congratulations." Emily said.
Lorelai nodded. "Is that a present?" She asked, excitedly.
"Yes." Emily said. "But aren't you open all the presents at once?"
"Nah." Lorelai said, waving her hand in the air.
"Are you sure people won't mind?" Emily asked.
"Of course they won't." Lorelai said, reaching for the present.
"Alright." Emily sighed, and handed her the present.
"Yay." Lorelai said as she quickly teared off the wrapping paper.
"This better not be a breast pump." Lorelai said.
"What?" Emily and Rory asked in unison.
"Don't ask." Lorelai said, as she almost had the wrapping paper off. She threw the wrapping paper on the ground, and Rory quickly picked it up before Taylor could see. Lorelai was holding a wooden box that had hearts and other designs carved into it.
"Mom." Lorelai whispered.
"Open it." Emily instructed her.
Lorelai nodded and opened the door. Inside were two tiny, silver boxes. One said 'Baby's first curl' and the other said 'Baby's first tooth.' There was also a long, silver tube that had a white ribbon tied around it. It had the words 'Baby's Birth Certificate' written on it.
"Mom, it's beautiful." She said running her fingers over it, touching the velvet that was inside the box, and the silver.
"It's a keepsake box. I thought you'd like it… Everything can be engraved if you'd like." Emily explained.
"Thank you." She said, smiling.
"You're welcome." Emily said, returning the smile a little bit.
Rory watched as the two spoke to each other with their eyes, and she too, smiled.
"Mom, open mine next." Rory said after a few moments.
"OK." Lorelai said, laughing slightly, as she wiped away some tears under her eyes. Pregnancy really did make you emotional.
"I got a bunch of things… I couldn't help it. I just kept seeing things… and I had to get them." Rory said, as she held up a very large bag.
"It happens to everyone." Lorelai said.
"I didn't bother wrapping anything."
"It only slows me down." Lorelai smiled.
"OK… Day of the week t-shirts." Rory said with a smile, as she handed the set to Lorelai.
"To match my underwear." Lorelai smiled. Emily rolled her eyes.
"Look how tiny they are." Rory pointed.
"Very tiny." Lorelai nodded.
"OK, next… we have 'I Love my Big Sister' bibs… because, c'mon." Rory said, as she pulled them out of the bag and handed them to her mother. Lorelai nodded, and handed them to her mother.
"They came as a set… One in every single color of the rainbow." Rory explained.
"Hurry up for Mommy, Rory." Lorelai said, getting anxious.
Rory laughed, and pulled out the next item. "A 'Mommy Needs Sleep' t-shirt. I got it in pink, but they had green and white, too." Rory explained.
Lorelai held it up to herself. "Ooh, pretty." She said. "Hopefully it'll still fit me when I'm carrying all that extra baby weight."
"At least you still have that gym card." Rory said.
Lorelai laughed, and Rory reached for the next thing in her bag.
"It's like she's Mary Poppins." Lorelai told Emily.
"Oh, yes I can definitely see the resemblance." Emily said with an eye roll.
Rory cleared her throat and got the women's attention. "Next, we have… Ooh! OK, so this stuff…" Rory said, holding up some containers. "You put a little bit in the bath tub and it changes colors… I did some research, and it's safe… It won't stain skin and it's OK to drink." Rory explained.
"Ooh." Lorelai said, taking one of them and reading the lid. "Luke will hate this." She said.
"Oh yeah." Rory said. "He will."
"What's next?" Lorelai asked, eagerly.
"OK, well this is for you and Luke." Rory said.
"Goody." Lorelai said.
She pulled it out and presented it to her mother.
"What is it?" She asked.
"It's a decision wheel… When the baby cries, you spin it and it chooses who has to get up." Rory explained.
"Hm… How do I make it so it always spins to Dad?" Lorelai asked, flicking it a couple times.
"I haven't figured that out yet." Rory said.
"OK, so now… This is the best one, you'll love it." Rory said, excitedly.
"More than the bath stuff?" Lorelai asked.
"Oh yes." Rory said, as she dramatically pulled out tons of clothing from her bag.
"OK, here we have a 'I Love Lucy' Onesie." Rory said.
Lorelai gasped.
"And then, I bought every other size up, for when the baby gets older." Rory said, showing Lorelai the clothes.
"Oh my God." Lorelai said with her hand on her mouth. "I can't believe it." She said.
"I knew you'd love it." Rory said, very pleased with herself.
Lorelai jumped on her daughter and hugged her tightly.
"Mom… please… don't… kill me." Rory said, fighting to breathe.
"Sorry." Lorelai said, letting go and then going to look at her new presents. "Wait until Luke sees." Lorelai said, forgetting about everything that had been going on lately, for a second.
"Hey, wait." Lorelai said.
"Yeah?"
"What if it's a boy?" Lorelai asked.
"We'll tape his eyes open and make him watch episodes until he loves it." Rory said.
"Or make him have a sex change." Lorelai shrugged.
"That too." Rory said.
Lorelai sat on the stairs of the gazebo, surrounded by billions and billions of presents.
"OK, so Andrew got the Thomas the Tank Engine mobile." Rory said, as she scribbled it down on her rapidly expanding list.
"And it sings!" Lorelai gasped, amused.
"What did Taylor get?" Rory asked.
Lorelai rolled her eyes. "A gift certificate for half off a small ice cream on his or her birthday."
"Of course." Rory said, as she scribbled that down.
"And Mrs. Kim?"
"The rocking chair." Lorelai said, looking over at it adoringly. It really was beautiful.
"Right." Rory said, as that went down on her list.
"How are we going to get all of this stuff home?" Lorelai asked.
"We'll beg Luke to let us borrow his truck… Er, actually we'll just make him move all this stuff." Rory said.
Lorelai nodded, and went to pick up another present, but froze suddenly. Luke. Luke still wasn't there. She looked around the crowded square, searching for him but he wasn't anywhere. She looked down at Rory's watch. He's late. He's very late.
"Hey Rory?" Lorelai asked quietly.
"Yeah?" Rory asked, knowing instantly that something was wrong.
"Have you seen Luke?" Lorelai asked.
Rory looked around the crowded square. She hadn't seen Luke at all that night, but she hadn't really noticed until then.
"Uh… I don't know, Mom." Rory said, hoping her mother would stay calm and not flip out.
"He said he'd be here." Lorelai said.
"Did you call him?" Rory asked.
Lorelai nodded. "He didn't answer."
"OK, well… Maybe something came up… or maybe he lost track of time." Rory said.
"Yeah." Lorelai said, practically in a whisper.
"Maybe we should ask Liz if she knows where he is."
"Have you seen Rachel yet?" Lorelai asked.
Rory looked around again. "Not yet.
"OK." Lorelai said, sniffling and nodding her head.
"Mom?" Rory asked, putting her arm around her mother.
"No, I'm OK." Lorelai said.
"Mom?" Rory repeated.
"I gotta go." Lorelai said, pointing over to the crowd.
"Mom, c'mon." Rory said.
"They are playing that game with the string and the needle… where you can tell how many kids everyone will have and what the gender will be… I can't miss that." Lorelai said.
"Mom…" Rory said, again, because she wasn't sure what else to say. Where was Luke?
"I'm OK." Lorelai said, standing up straighter and beginning to walk away. Rory sighed, and watched her mom disappear in the crowd.
Lorelai made her way through the people. It was like a freaking mosh pit in there. She was pretty sure someone had grabbed her ass.
Once she was free from the pit, she saw her mother sitting in the corner, watching everyone.
"Hi." Lorelai said.
"Hello Lorelai." Emily greeted her.
"Have you seen Luke?" She asked.
"No, I haven't." Emily said.
"Oh." Lorelai said, sitting down on the plastic chair beside her mother.
"Is he late?" Emily asked.
Lorelai nodded, biting her lip to keep the tears from flowing.
"Lorelai?" Emily asked.
She knew she was about to lose it. She was trying so hard not to burst out in tears, especially in front of her mother. She knew they had been getting along lately, but she didn't want to have a meltdown in front of her, especially about Luke. But, Luke wasn't there. He promised he'd be there. And Rachel wasn't there either. Rachel had gone on and on about how much she wanted to be there, and she wasn't there.
There was only one conclusion she could think of, and it was completely killing her.
God, she knew this was going to happen. She told herself it was going to happen. But now that it was actually happening, she couldn't believe it.
Suddenly, she found herself in her mother's arms, crying on her shoulder, with her mother whispering in her ear.
"Shh… It'll be OK." She repeated over and over.
She held on tighter, and let the tears gush down her face.
He sat there, on the bridge, his feet dangling just inches about the water. His hand was clenched tightly around the small item in his palm. He had been staring into the water for hours.
He needed to think, and this was a great place to think.
He looked down at what he had been holding in his hand for the past few hours. It's shape was imprinted in his skin because he had been holding onto it so tightly. He held it out in front of him, letting the moonlight hit it. It shined brightly, as he studied it. He had looked at it so many times before, but it seemed different tonight. It looked different in the moonlight.
He looked out at the water again. He could see the reflection of the moon, and his boots in the water. He looked over and could see his face. He looked tired, and old.
He was going to be one of those old dads. He was going to have gray hair and a cane before this kid even graduated high school. He'd be one of those old dads that all the other parents came to with questions on the first day of school, because since he looked old, he must have tons of kids and know what he was he doing. But, he'd have to tell them that he had no idea and was just an old dad.
His conversation with Lorelai ran through his head. The past couple of days replayed his mind, as he went over everything that was said and tried to analyze it.
What did that whole talk about the future mean anyway? What was she getting at? And why was she getting distant? Why was she canceling dates and lying? Why was she avoiding him? Why was she asking tons of questions? Why was she barely talking to him?
Maybe she was scared. Maybe she wanted some comfort.
But how could he give her comfort? He was just as scared as she was, probably even more.
Maybe she was having doubts. Maybe she was changing her mind. Maybe she was running away.
Maybe she was just being Lorelai.
He really thought it was going to work. He had it all planned out. He had it all decided. He knew exactly what he'd do and what he'd say, where he'd take her, what he'd wear. He thought they had been on the same page. He thought she wanted the same thing. He thought they'd be happy. He thought it'd all work out.
But he was kidding himself.
Somewhere along the line he hadn't answered a question the way she wanted him to, or he said the wrong thing at the wrong time.
Whatever he did, he had messed it up.
He looked out at the water again. It was really beautiful, and peaceful. He liked this bridge. It was quiet, especially tonight since the whole town was at the baby shower.
Baby shower? Crap.
"I'll go and get you some water." Emily told Lorelai, once Lorelai had stopped crying and pulled away from her.
"Thanks." Lorelai said with a small, gracious smile, as she wiped away her tears with her sleeve.
She looked around at the drunken townspeople, who were dancing the night away. They were way to drunk to even notice her crying over there in the corner. She thanked God for that.
The square had been covered in lights, and were basically all Lorelai could see through her teary, blurred vision. It reminded her of the times when she was younger, and she would hide behind the enormous Christmas tree and cry about the ugly dress she had been forced to wear that night, and the shoes that had given her golf ball sized blisters. She always remembered the image of the Christmas tree lights through her tears. It was actually sort of pretty, in a sad, stupid way.
"Lorelai." She heard the voice coming towards her, but had to blink a few times before she could actually see the person.
"Oh, hi." She said, wiping her cheeks to make sure she didn't look too obvious.
"You alright?" Rachel asked, as she sat beside her.
"Oh yeah, I'm fine… Just you know… Pregnant." She said, with a laugh, hoping to lighten the mood.
"Where's Luke?" Rachel asked.
Lorelai almost let out a huge sigh, at the question. Rachel didn't know where Luke was. At least they weren't together. At least he wasn't leaving her for Rachel.
"I wish I knew." Lorelai said.
"He's not here?" Rachel asked.
"Nope." Lorelai said.
"Weird." Rachel said.
"Yeah." Lorelai said quietly.
Rachel saw the look on Lorelai's face, and had a pretty good guess on what she was thinking. "He probably has a good reason." Rachel said, encouragingly.
"I'm sure." Lorelai nodded.
"He loves you." She told her.
Lorelai looked up at her.
"Really, he does." Rachel said again.
Lorelai nodded, trying to believe what she was saying.
"Believe me, he has for a long, long time." Rachel said, with a sigh.
"What?" Lorelai asked, squinting with confusion.
"I guess he never told you." Rachel said.
"Told me what?" Lorelai asked.
"About why I left… you know… last time." Rachel said.
"No, I guess he never did tell me." Lorelai said, thinking back.
"His heart wasn't in it." Rachel said simply. "He loved somebody else."
"Who?" Lorelai asked, not even stopping long enough to put the pieces together herself.
"You." Rachel said softly.
"Me?" Lorelai asked, in the same soft tone.
"Yup. You. I told him not to wait too long… to tell you. But leave it to Luke to wait 5 years." Rachel said.
Lorelai nodded. "Yeah." She said.
This was definitely not what she was expecting. Definitely, definitely not. Luke loved her? Luke loved her all those years ago? Wow.
She couldn't think much longer than that, because soon another person walked up to her, calling her name.
"Lorelai." He said, simply, but still with so much emotion. He was obviously out of breath. He must have ran all the way there.
"Hi." She said, standing up.
"I'm going to go grab some punch." Rachel said, leaving the two of them alone.
"Where have you been?" Lorelai asked, quietly.
"I'm so sorry." He told her, putting his hands gently on her arms. "I was at the bridge… I lost track of time." He said.
Lorelai nodded. "OK." She said, beginning to walk past him.
"Wait." He said.
She turned to look at him, surprised at how close they actually were.
"We should talk." He stated.
She nodded. He was right. They had to talk. They had lots and lots of things to talk about.
They walked side by side, very quietly all the way to the bridge. Neither said a word to each other. Neither knew where to start or what to say, so they stayed silent.
Luke sat down on the dock, just as he had been before. She did the same.
"What's going on?" He asked.
"What?" She asked. She wasn't sure how she was supposed to answer that question, when it was the exact one she wanted to ask him.
"You've been distant… and you've been acting really weird, canceling dates and avoiding me… Then, with all those questions at my apartment. What's going on?" He asked.
"I haven't been distant… and I'm not acting weird." She told him defensively.
He sighed, and looked into the water again. Then, he turned and looked at her again, straight into her gorgeous blue eyes that were even more stunning in this moonlight.
"I love you." He told her in a way that would hopefully get through to her.
She didn't say anything, and she lost eye contact, staring at the sparkling water.
"Lorelai?" He asked, trying to get her to look at him.
"Yeah?" She asked.
"Look at me." He begged her.
She turned and looked into his eyes, seeing the seriousness of the situation. It scared her.
"I love you." He told her again.
She sighed.
"What?" She asked him.
"What do you mean, what?" He asked, beginning to think the worst. Obviously, she didn't love him, right? Yes.
"You keep telling me that." She told him.
"What?" He asked, now completely confused.
"It just doesn't seem like it." She said.
"What?" He asked again, more shocked than confused.
"You tell me you love me, but then the coffee tastes different, and you go around smiling at her, and acting all weird… not answering my questions, not guaranteeing anything. I can't do that. I need to know that you'll love me… forever." She said, the last part so quietly he wasn't sure if he heard her.
"What?" He asked, in a whisper, completely shocked by her confession.
She sighed. She wasn't going to repeat that again.
"I will." He told her.
She shook her head, still looking down at her hands in her lap. "You don't know that."
"Yes, I do." He said, almost pleading for her to believe him.
She just kept shaking her head, her eyes glassing over, concentrating on not looking up at him because if she did she might just completely fall apart.
"Lorelai, I love you." He said. He sat up straighter, and felt it in his pocket. He looked at the water again, and then out into the woods where it was completely dark. He pulled it out of his pocket and stared at it in his hands, as his thumb ran over the soft velvet. He looked down at it for a while, debating if this was the right thing to do. If it was the right moment, the right way to do this, the way to fix this, the way to show her how much he really did know he'd love her forever.
He held it out to her, just for her to see. He didn't open it. He just showed it to her, hoping that she would understand and know what was inside.
She had to blink a couple times before she could focus on the object in his hands. She had a pretty good idea what was inside, and was basically shocked at what was happening right in front of her. She took a few deep breaths, and blinked a few more times, just to make sure she wasn't imagining all of this.
"Wh- What?" She asked, having trouble forming words.
He slid closer to her on the dock, and put his hand down behind her. "It's for you." He told her.
She touched the top of it with her fingertips, brushing the velvet ever so slightly.
"Me?" She asked, in a whisper.
"Yeah." He said. "For you." He repeated to her softly, giving it to her.
She took it in her hands, just staring down at it, not moving, only breathing ever so softly.
"Lorelai?" He asked.
"Hm?" She said.
"You can open it." He told her.
"Right." She said, taking a breath, and then slowly opening the small, velvet box. She gasped quietly when she opened it. She breathe heavily, and she examined the diamond ring in front of her.
"Do you like it?" He asked her.
She nodded, because she wasn't able to say anything else at all.
He watched as she looked at the ring. After a few moments, he wanted to what she thought.
"So…" He began. "What do you think?" He asked.
"Pretty." She answered.
He laughed a little bit, and then took his finger and lifted Lorelai's chin, and turned her face so he would look at her.
"Lorelai." He stated.
"Yes." She said.
"I love you." He told her for the millionth time that night.
He gently took the small, velvet box from her hands, and turned it to face her. "I want to marry you." He said.
She looked at the ring, and then back up at him, and sighed.
"What?" He asked, when he saw the face she had on.
"Is it because of the baby?" She asked.
"No." He told her. "I've wanted to marry you way before you were pregnant." He told her, surprised at how much he was revealing to her.
She thought back to her conversation with Rachel, about how Luke had loved her all those years ago.
She nodded. "And it's not about that whole conversation the other day?" She asked.
"No." He told her again.
She continued to nod her head, because she wasn't sure if she could even stop herself.
"But what about Rachel?" She asked.
"Rachel? What about Rachel?" He asked, suddenly very confused.
"I- uh… Well, I know you loved her…" Lorelai said, unsure of what to say.
"Lorelai, I love you." He said.
She smiled, finally, for the first time since he saw her. And her smile caused his.
"So…?" He asked her.
She looked at him, and then back down at the ring, and then out at the water that was glowing from the moon.
She wanted a guarantee. She wanted some reassurance, a promise, his word. She wanted to believe him when he said he loved her. She wanted to know that he always would. She wanted assurance that he'd be there for her, and for the baby. She wanted to know that they'd always be together, and that he would love her, even when she was fat and swollen.
"Yes." She told him softly, but surely.
And now she finally had her guarantee, she thought as he pressed his lips against hers and they kissed.
So, well I hope that worked out. I hope it didn't seem too weird, and I hope it wasn't too predictable…. I mean, I bet most people guessed it when he was sitting on the dock with the 'thing' in his hands… but I mean, before that. Like last chapter, did you say 'oh I bet he's gonna propose.' ?
And yes, I hope it didn't seem too weird or way, way out of the blue and random… I don't know.
Please tell me what you think.
You know I'd love to know)
Plus, there is only one more chapter left, and you have to get all your reviews and thoughts in!
One more week until the new episode!
Some small spoilers because I love you:
From Fan forum:
Luke does not get sent to his apartment or the couch, when Lorelai finds out about April. They sleep in the same bed.
Supposedly the teaser for 6.12 and 6.13 are Luke and Lorelai in bed late at night or early in the morning.
Also, Sookie watches Paul Anka in 6.13
Rory and Logan plan a date in 6.12 and kiss in 6.13. Rory initiates the kiss after Logan saves the day at the Yale Daily News
And also from Fan forum…
"Heard it from my sister who was told by her friend who knows Ed Herrman (Richard)
His daughter is going to be in a few episodes, playing one of Rorys friends
Her character will be introduced at the wedding...Luke and Lorelais wedding!"
All for now… You know you really, really want to leave me a review!
Next chapter is the end!