Part 17 – Can't pretend

Willow entered in the room and Kennedy had her arms crossed around her chest with a very angry face.

"Hey." Willow started.

Kennedy looks over Willow then takes a breath "Hey."

Buffy looks to Willow searching for Tara. "She went back to her hotel." Willow said to Buffy as she nodded and left the room.

"Listen Kennedy, what you saw, it wasn't what it looked like… we were just talking."

"Right the love of your life comes back and you just had a friendly chat?"

"But I didn't... really, please believe me...I wouldn't do that to you."

Kennedy pulls a sulking face and looks down at the table, so Willow got closer and put her hands on Kennedy's back. "I would never cheat on you." Willow said in a sweet voice.

"I wish I could believe that." Kennedy took a breath. "I saw the way you looked at her."

"Ok... yes ok, I am happy to see her again, but I just didn't do anything."
"Look, I can't have this conversation right now, I need to think." Kennedy stars to go up the stairs to go to her room. Willow goes after Kennedy and take Kennedy's arm but she moves her arms quickly "Don't... just don't."

Willow starts to cry... "What now? Please talk to me."

Kennedy started to go down the stairs "You wanna talk? Fine." Kennedy sits on the couch. "Do you love her?"

"I...I..." Willow looked down.

"I'll take that as a yes." Kennedy storms upstairs.

"Kennedy..." Willow didn't know what to do, going after Kennedy wouldn't make things better so she sat on the couch to think a little and wait for her.

´´'´'´'´´'´'´'´'´'´'´'´'

Kennedy was in her room with one big bag on the bed and she was taking her clothes of the closet and packing it very quickly.

"Stupid me, how can I trusted her? She clearly loves that blonde one, why did she come back anyway? Damm I wish I could just take her out of my mind. It's the longest relationship I have ever had, the first woman that I had ever...that I had ever loved... why did it had to be Willow? Couldn't I choose someone else? Don't Kennedy, don't cry, you're strong, you can do this!"

´'´'´'´'´'´´'´'´'´'´'´'

Kennedy took her bag packed and went downstairs.

"Hey..."Willow saw the bag. "Where are you going?"

"Anywhere."

"How far is this anywhere that you should pack?"

"I need to get away from here." Kennedy didn't even look at Willow.

"Wait… please... you can't just leave me like that." Willow was walking behind Kennedy trying to make her stop.

"Give me a reason not to."

"I...I care about you... and you don't have anywhere to go, it's early… " Willow started to babble.

Kennedy sighs, "Just say the three words and I'll stay."

"I'm sorry."

Kennedy isn't impressed and starts walking away.

"Are you just gonna leave like that? No bye? No hug? Just like that?"

"What do you want from me Willow?"

"I..I... what do you want for me to say?"

"The truth would be nice."

"I'm telling it. Don't you trust me?" Willow asked.

"Do you love me?" Kennedy asked without answering.

"I asked you first."

Kennedy looks away. "I do, I just don't know how you feel and it scares me."

Willow gets close. "Hey... look at me...I'm scared too… and confused." Kennedy looks at Willow as she continues. "I'm sorry to put you thought this, you mean a lot to me, and I can't see that ending so fast like it never existed...but..."

"Do you want me?" Kennedy interrupted.

"I... I can't have you anymore…"

As soon as willow said those words Kennedy looked down. "Are you kidding me?"

"I'm sorry, I don't fell like playing games right now."

"Playing games? You're the one who won't answer my questions. Do you love me or Tara?"

"I… I... It's complicated...she's...she's… Tara."

"And I'm your girlfriend."

"Yes." Willow agreed.

Kennedy sits down and wait to hear what Willow wants. So Willow sits with Kennedy and starts...

"Kennedy if it were you... what would you do?"

"I'd give the girl I was the truth I would tell her that I wanted the other one that I know you do." Although Kennedy seemed strong and tough, she was crying and shivering, Willow didn't resisted and started to cry too.

Willow was getting closer to Kennedy so she could touch her arm. But Kennedy didn't wanted to.

"No, don't... leave me alone." Kennedy got up.

"Kennedy please...I... I..."

"WHAT?"

"I...I'm sorry..."

"You're sorry?"

"I..." Willow didn't know what to say, her feelings for Tara had never gone away, she made sure of that when she saw Tara this morning, she couldn't lie to herself, she was indeed still in love with Tara. But what about Kennedy?

"Willow... look at me..." Kennedy took a big breath and got closer. "Listen I'm sorry ok? I got out of my control when I saw you with her, the time that we pass together it makes me really happy, and... I just think you should know that." Kennedy took Willow's hands.

"Kennedy... you're an amazing person you know that." Willow said with a smile.

"Just not amazing enough."

"Hey...it's not like that..." Willow said in a sweet voice.

Silence...

"She's a luck lady." Kennedy broke the silence.

Willow waited a little before she reply it "Someone will be very luck to have your love."

"My luck lady hadn't realized that yet."

"I'm sorry..."

"Yeah... you had already said that..."

"I...don't know what to say, and I'm not really good with words..."

"You don't have to say anything, I get it. You still love her...Tara."

Willow nod.

"You don't have to say a word... your eyes already says everything."

Kennedy turned and started to leave. Willow couldn't let it end just like that so she went and took Kennedy's arms. She stopped and when Willow was going to say something Kennedy took Willow's face and kissed her, Willow froze, she didn't expected that.

Kennedy pulled away and said.

"Listen, I'm going to call Giles and see if I can get a flight today if it's possible to England."

"Kennedy… look.."

"Willow don't say anything, I know there's nothing you can say that will make me fell better so... I'll make it easy for you..."

"I just..." Willow hugged Kennedy.

"Well...it just made me fell a bit tiny better..." Kennedy said in an ironic tone.

"I'm serious… thank you. I just don't want you to go to England and be mad at me."

"I'm not mad, just hurt."

"I'm sorry… for everything."

Kennedy starts to turn..."Kennedy? You have to call Giles..."

"I'll call from my cell, don't worry."

Kennedy took her bag and started to leave then turns back "Look Will, I hope everything works up for you."

Willow gives a tiny smile "Thanks, you too." Kennedy return the tiny smile takes one last look at Willow then leaves.