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A/N: Please Keep up the reviews! thank you so much. Keep reading. About one or two more chapters.
Field of Innocence
The three years I was on the mission with Bridge, has changed me. They say I've lost the spark and my bubblyness, my carefree outlook on life. It is partially true I'm more serious and not constantly being a ditz or a perky blonde. The night we came back, I am grateful that Z got me ready for the ball, because I didn't feel like celebrating. Truth is I didn't feel beautiful anymore, all the scars that adorn my skin, they snake along my hairline and a thin one above my eyebrow, the ones across my abdomen, and my legs. I can now careless about my outward appearance because I don't, I'm not the same girl I used to be.
I still remember the world
From the eyes of a child
Slowly those feelings
Were clouded by what I know now
Z worked wonders and made me look like my normal; I know she can sense the change and my mood. Sky I don't think that he really noticed, at least not right away. He was trying to make me smile and bring out the old me, even by singing a part of one of my old songs do you think I'm beautiful, yes I think I'm beautiful. I burst into tears and Sky quickly pulled me into a hug and murmured that he was sorry. He later managed to coax me into a dance where Kat snapped a picture of us slow dancing, my eyes were closed and my head was resting against Sky's chest and his arms are wrapped around me his head tucked downward his eyes full of love. I am really glad he loves as he does because it helps. When mine and Bridge's names were called to honor our promotions, I completely froze and my brain couldn't process what was going on but both Sky and Bridge took me up supporting me on both sides, it was, I'm glad they did what they did.
Where has my heart gone
An uneven trade for the real world
I want to go back to
Believing in everything and knowing nothing at all
I cried myself to sleep that night with my team surrounding me. Bridge pulled Z's bed over next to mine and the four of us all situated ourselves on the two beds, I lay in the middle wrapped in Sky's arms and facing Z who was snuggled with Bridge. This is my family I thought and they love me. They love me for the inside and not the out.
I still remember the sun
Always warm on my back
Somehow it seems colder now
The light in my life is gone and I want to get away from SPD and from all that I have witnessed. The horror of the attack that night before my 22nd birthday was the most horrifying, brutal thing that I have ever witnessed the screams and the blood are still fresh and vivid in my mind, and many times, I wake at night screaming. I don't know if I will ever be the same again. My therapist says that it will take time, Cruger convinced me to go to SPD's psychiatrist to help with all that I happened when I was over there. Sky and I go for long silent walks almost everyday at me therapist's request, we walked along the beach today, something I used to love but now only makes me want to cry, I started to cry there on the beach and so he carried me back home. Every night Sky and I have a ritual, he comes into my room and just holds me until I fall asleep, sometimes he stays and other times he leaves. Cruger understands. The nights that Sky stays, I tend to sleep better.
Where has my heart gone
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger
I want to go back to
Believing in everything
I know that my depression is taking its toll on Sky. He has taken to sleeping in my room on a regular basis. Z has moved out and into one of the officer's apartments with Bridge with whom she is engaged. I am happy for them; I remember when I used to dream of planning my own wedding and the excitement of being engaged. Those dreams don't frequent my sleep anymore, who would want to marry a girl with scars adorning her body. I'm dying inside…
Z tries to get me excited about her wedding by asking me to help her plan the wedding. I have found that people tend to leave me alone if I hide behind a smile. Sky doesn't need to be burdened with my life, I've tried to push him away but he doesn't get it.
Where has my heart gone.
An uneven trade for the real world
Oh I, I want to go back to
Believing in everything
Sophie has come back. I watch her and Sky flirt, and I feel nothing. I caught them sneaking kisses and my already broken heart starts to bleed. I hear them all whisper about me the newer cadets, isn't that the SPD pink ranger? Didn't she used to be the heart and soul of the squad? Yeah but she is just a ghost now. I am a ghost haunted by my old life and what I have seen. I know what I must do I must leave. My father and I have gotten closer ever since I've been back and have been looking into my uncle Wes's company Bio-Tech and also into his other company in Silver Hills.
It's all settled, at the end of the next spring I'll be moving to Silver Hills to take up a teaching position at the Silver Guardians training facility teaching criminal profiling and only teaching, no active duty. I'll be staying with my uncle Wes until I am ready to move and live on my own. My parents and Cruger are the only ones who know of this plan.
Oh where has my heart gone
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger
Oh I, I want to go back to
Believing in everything
I've been teaching for a month now, and I think I am getting better. I had run back into the Academy and sobbed in Sky's arms, we have agreed to get together in the evenings at least twice a week and then see where that takes us. Acceptance that I am not the same girl, I was before is a slow process on both our parts. He's never given up on me.
A/N: Please Review! The song is Field of Innocence by Evanesence.