This wasn't happening. 993 had been programmed with all the best of Kim Possible-styled fighting technology. And that wasn't all. Extra speed, extra strength, extra agility… they all were supposedly wired through all her innards. So, logically, something must have been blocking them. For there was no other explanation how another teenager girl, not even athletic at that, could bodily take her. But Monique did. Her arm linked through 993's she was out of the house and skipping down the Possible's lawn.

"Man, oh man," Monique was saying during all of this as if she had no idea that she was with a synthodrone—which she wasn't actually supposed to know, so technically that was all right. "Girl, I am still flipping over this! Do you have any idea how romantic comedy to watch last night was? You and your Ron, showing up like that out of the blue at the prom!" With a breathy sigh she released 993 and spun in a circle.

Perhaps this would be the time to run. 993 instinctively rubbed her arm where Monique had so ecstatically squeezed. No, this was fine. The real Kim would certainly be a while in catching up. And Monique… she recognized this. Dr. Drakken had done his homework on Kim Possible, and this Monique was in there. One of Kim's best friends. And gossiping about private affairs was something best friends did. And gossiping was something Kim Possible would be thrilled to do. The panic signals began to subside, and she smiled. Monique was still marching down the sidewalk, chattering incomprehensibly in a series of acronyms—it wasn't hard to catch up. Yes, this was fine. Perfectly fine. Right in with the Kim Possible posing Drakken had ordered her to put up. The Emperor of the Universe hadn't given anymore commands yet. "Were we really that cute?"

"My dearest Kim." Monique paused at a curb, one foot in the street, watching a yellow car blaring rap drive by. "My, my, but that is one fine car."

"Car?" 993's eyes followed the car. "Is that it? Now you're saying a car is cute? What about me and Ron?"

The coast was clear. Monique continued across the street. "Hey, give this woman the time to appreciate a quality automobile. Even though the drive had to be at least forty and has no kind of midlife crisis excuse to explain his ownership of the vehicle. My car is out for the count, so I need the time." Another well-earned sigh. "You and Ron, now. Is that what you want to talk about? Yes, Kim, you too are adorable! I can't believe I never even thought of it until now!" She closed a fist and drove it into the air. "Where am I lacking in my B.F.F. duties? If I had had some freaky vision of the future I would have so been playing Cupid months ago. Years ago. The moment I moved to Middleton and saw you two."

"So Ron and I have always been good friends?"

"Very good friends. Not that you didn't have the whole playful abuse thing going on, but that works with guys of his mental capacity." She giggled. "No offense."

Ron. 993 resisted her own urge to spin in an over-dramatic circle. Yes, Ron certainly was wonderful. So, so wonderful. And she was so, so grateful to Drakken for creating her and making her pose in Kim's place. This was a short circuit she did not want fixed. "None taken. Monique, last night was so unbelievable."

Monique's eyes widened as she almost tripped over another curve. "Whoa. I almost forgot I organized this whole little arrangement for you to do the talking and give me all sorts of juicy details that we might bond in female mutual understanding."

"Where did you get that kind of vocab?"

"Talk shows. Really, who needs school when you have talk shows? They teach you everything practical in the real world. But unfortunately I must attend if I wish to fulfill my dream of becoming the first fashion designer with a Ph.D. Okay, continue."

Focus on Ron, focus on Ron. It was not a difficult thing to do. "Well, you saw the fight on the news, didn't you?"

They had left suburbia. The odds and ends of minor shopping areas were popping out of the sidewalks. "When would I ever miss one of your escapades? At least the ones I'm in the area to watch. Yeah, we saw the whole thing on the janitor's portable tv. Don't ask me what he was doing at the prom." Monique put a hand to her stomach. "Dang, but I am starving! Wanna stop at Bueno Nacho?"

Bueno Nacho. Mm. Everything in 993 was telling her that Bueno Nacho was supposed to be delicious. "You read my mind. I didn't even eat breakfast."

Monique gave the most evil of sneers. "That's because you were busy. Race you inside."

A fast-food restaurant topped with a giant fake sombrero. Well, if Kim Possible liked the place… 993 broke into a run and tore effortlessly past Monique. The glass door barely stopped her as she ran inside. "I win!"

Monique appeared about ten seconds later, panting hard and looking rather skeptical. "You really are hungry, ain't you?"

"I'm in love. Love gives one an appetite."

An auburn-haired boy at the counter merely scowled and twiddled with a very bad clip-on tie. "I hate love. Love stinks. "

993 stared. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah, my girlfriend Ariel, or shall I say 'ex-girlfriend' ditched me last night to go the prom with somebody from the drama club."

"That's a pity, Ned," Monique said in a terrible effort not to smile. "I think I saw her. She was with Kenneth? Wasn't he the lead in the production of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat? Because he is one attractive bit of wow. I salute her."

The scowl deepened. "You want to order already?"

"Hang on two seconds for me to decide. You know, didn't you go on precisely one date with Ariel anyway, Ned?"

"One and a half. Her canary got hit by a car in the middle of the second one."

That time 993 couldn't even think about not laughing. Even Monique stared in surprise. "Oops. Sorry. Thinking about something else." She focused on the glowing menu above her—and failed to recognize a single word. What was this stuff?

"I'll have the chicken tortilla salad with extra chili and a small drink," Monique said finally. "And Kim…" Another smile. "Let me guess, you will be having the naco meal in honor of your Ron."

"Now that they finally brought the naco back. You girls wouldn't believe what a nightmare we've been through with those stupid Li'l Diablos attacking last night. At least it's good for business. Apparently people like food that tries to kill them." There was a pause, and Ned's face paled even further. "She's dating Ron Stoppable?"

"Yes, she is!" Monique squealed. "It's so about time. They walked into the prom last night holding hands and it was just utterly romantic."

Ned still didn't look particularly impressed. "Well, one naco meal on it's way."

"My treat," Monique said, ripping out her wallet. "Just got paid today…"

993 realized that she probably would have taken the food and ran. "So shall we sit down? I need to tell you about how cute Ron was last night."

"Food first. I like to watch them make it. But tell me everything you want."

Ron. Oh, but she loved the name! "Well, he stood against Drakken. It was so adorable. And he helped me fight. And the police came and hauled Drakken and Shego off—after I flung her into a shower of electricity, of course." She was getting far too ahead of herself. Chronological meters were tingling. "Actually, when Erik showed himself to be a synthodrone—"

That caught Monique's attention. "Say what? Syntha-thing?"

Oh, boy. "A synthodrone, Monique. That's what Erik was. A synthodrone, a highly-developed system based on memory waves in a gelatinous—" Monique was still staring. Glitches, 993 thought. Kim Possible wouldn't understand that gibberish anymore than anyone else on earth would. "He was this freaky robot thing, can you believe it?"

Monique ventured a laugh and grabbed a straw for her soda. "Well, he was dang cute freaky robot thing. I heard on the news he was one bad boy, but I didn't realize it went that far." She suddenly gasped. "Oh my gosh, Kim, you didn't kiss him, did you?"

993 shook her head. "Never got the opportunity, thank goodness."

"No thank goodness that I keep interrupting! Keep going."

Keep going. That was easy enough. 993 could still see the entire scene in her memory like one extra-long movie. Romantic comedy movie, just like Monique had said. She smiled and flicked back her hair. Story-telling mood, story-telling mood. She could live off this for a long time. No wonder Kim liked so much to gossip. "Well, Erik goes all huggy-lovey on me and I, like a moron, run into his arms. Then he goes off and reveals himself as this evil synthodrone working for Dr. Drakken, shocks me, and I'm off unconscious. And when I wake up…" She let her smile widen. This was the best part, she realized now that she was looking back. Maybe she had felt something for Ron Stoppable even at this time, something other than a pawn in the deception. "When I wake up, I'm tied up in Bueno Nacho storage on a plaster decoration, and not far from me is Ron. He's still unconscious, but he looked so adorable. If you can believe that."

Monique laughed again. "I can't, but he's your man. Believe whatever you want, girl."

"Fair enough. So at first I'm just kicking myself over Erik and wondering why I hadn't seen him for the slime ball he really is. Then Ron finally wakes up and says something about heaven—I like to pretend he was referring to me. And, Monique, you'll kill me for this! I go on and on about Erik! Ron's right there and I go on about pond scum like one of those bimbos I hate so much. And, well… he comforted me, Monique. He told me that there are plenty of guys who would love to go out with me. And he pretty much referred to himself after that, but not specifically because Rufus interrupted us but… that was it, Monique. I knew at that very moment that he could very well be something other than just a best friend." She sighed. "Please don't tell me I'm still reeling from Erik. Please don't."

"I also learned from talk shows that best friends make the best relationships."

993 felt the color sensor red race to her face. "Really? Thanks."

"You are totally welcome. Then what happened after you duked it out with Drakken and Shego?"

That part had been fun. Though it was a good thing Dr. Drakken Emperor of the Universe and Shego weren't too upset. "Well, Erik wound up being destroyed. That was disgusting. Are you aware that synthodrones are full of this awful green goo?"

Monique made a face.

993 almost felt offended. And humans were proud of their blood and guts innards? "Well, the cops showed up, like I told you. And… well, I felt it was right. I took Ron's hand and we left the scene. And I was about to tell him he had to come to the prom with me, but then he asked me. It was really cute. He just went all determined and demanded I go to the prom with him. Though I suppose I wouldn't say 'demanded', but he said that I no longer had a date and that he would be mine."

"Oh, wow." Monique's eyes fluttered. "I am so loving this story."

"Orders are up," Ned said bitterly. He set before them a hideous red tray set with the strangest food 993 had ever seen in her short existence. Her Kim Possible programming was recognizing them, of course, but still…. "Are these good?"

"The nacos?" Ned frowned. "I don't like them myself, but a lot of people do. And I thought you have had them before. You order them all the time."

"Then I must like them. I just assumed you should have them…" How could she save this? "Better than usual. Because, Ned, I'm in love."

He raised an eyebrow. "Yeah. Have a Bueno day."

Monique led them to a booth. "You know, Kim, you are acting utterly strange today. Really strange."

Uh oh. "I am?"

She shrugged, sat down, and stabbed a fork into her salad. "Yes. But what do I know about being in love? I've never had a serious boyfriend. I envy you. But I love this salad. Though I still feel supreme guilt about ordering salad from fast-food joints. So, is your naco 'better' today?"

The naco. 993 stared down at it, recalling some big thing about discontinuing the naco only a week before. Drakken's idea, of course. And she had never even tried it. And it was not calling upon her to try it. But Kim Possible liked it, and Ron liked it… she plunged in a fork, brought a chunk of tortilla, grease, and cheese to her mouth, and bit.

She was going to throw it all back up. Quickly she grabbed a napkin and spit the unpleasant mouthful into that. Now the napkin had to be burned. "Yuck! That's disgusting!"

Monique blinked, a piece of lettuce stuck on her lip. "I take it it's not better."

No, it was not better. How dare biological humans create such monstrosities. 993 shoved her tray away. Too far. It tumbled to the floor, hamburger, beans, and lettuce flying every which way. "Monique, have you tried this so-called wonderful naco?"

"Kim, I take the romance thing back," Monique said in a low voice. "You are not feeling well right now."

"Well?" 993 jumped to the seat. "Well? I'm feeling wonderful. I'm feeling so wonderful that I refuse to eat this. This cannot be what Ron invented. He would not create something so horrible!"

The entire restaurant was staring. 993 did not care.

Monique sunk into her seat. "Kim, you are having a psychotic episode. Completely psychotic. What exactly is wrong with you? You've always liked the food here."

"I doubt any of it is good!" 993 yelled. Oh, but she had no idea where this programming was coming from. But she liked it. She liked it very much. She was becoming so much better than Kim Possible ever was. And she would stop Ron from enjoying this sort of food. In fact, she would stop everyone from enjoying this sort of good. Because no one in their right mind ever would. "Mexican food was never, ever meant to be on the lists of fast-food joints! Never! It's an affront to all that is natural! In fact, half this stuff on that menu has never even been heard of in any respectable Mexican community. This place is offensive to the fine cuisines of the Mexican nation and culture!"

"For crying out loud, sit down!"

"No!" 993 reached down for her plastic fork. One more problem in her system. Almost as good as the Ron problem. She held the fork high, knowing plain well the entire restaurant good see it. That is what she intended. "Patrons of Bueno Nacho, we must unite! We should not be forced to eat fake, greasy Mexican food! It's just wrong in so many ways!"

There was a pause, and one of the workers started a low clap. Then another voice. "Oh, shut up and just see if you can't get a refund."

Some college girl in the corner. 993 jabbed the fork in her direction. "What is your name?"

The girl glared. "Trish."

"Well, Trish, you have officially been deluded by American culture! Have you ever had real Mexican food?"

"Yes. But who cares? It's good!"

"You are so going down, Trish."

Trish jumped to her feet. "Bring it on!"

993 was only somewhat aware of Monique making a mad dash back to the counter. She jumped to the floor, arms forward and ready to fight if that's what this girl intended.

"I don't care if you are the great Kim Possible," Trish snarled. "I spend my summers working hard outdoors and I can so take you." She ran forward.

"I don't think so!" 993 rushed to meet her.

A dark figured jumped in the path. Both 993 and Trish screamed.

It was Monique, wielding a very heavy box fryer tong. "I have the manager's permission to use this without even having to sign a waver and I am prepared to use it."

Trish leaped back. "You are both nuts."

"Yeah, uh huh. Kim, you are coming with me and we are going to get you some help."

"But she wouldn't—" 993 didn't have an opportunity to continue her discussion of the revolution. She started forward again, only to run smack into Monique and her knife. "But she—"

Trish had already returned, exasperated and muttering about the insane, to her food.

"Let it go, supergirl," Monique hissed. "Let it go." She proceeded to once more drag 993 outside, tossing the tongs on the counter as she did. "Those were the sharpest tongs they have and now I have guilt about wielding those like Xena."

993 sucked in the air outside. Wow. Her energy was still refusing to drain back. "Monique, that food was disgusting and that girl wouldn't agree with me. I had to do something."

"You did plenty. There is something wrong with you. This is not normal twitterpation from what I know of the subject. You are not normal."

"Normal?" 993 froze. This was ridiculous. She was not standing outside a Bueno Nacho with Kim Possible's friend and having this friend getting suspicious. "And how would you define 'normal', then?"

"Not igniting a fast-food feud, for one thing." Monique continued to drag 993 to a nearby picnic table. "That's just not something you normally do."

No, that was not a Kim Possible thing to do. 993 forced a laugh. "I guess I really am out of it. Thanks for stopping me those tongs."

"They really are sharp. I hope I didn't bruise you or anything when you ran into me."

Bruise? 993 lifted her forearm. Oh, no. She must have ran against the tongs. Her skin had punctured and was leaking…

Monique gave a stifled scream and jumped up. "That is not normal. And that is not guacamole."

Synthogoo,

993 closed her eyes. At least she was a later model and capable of sealing herself back up. But why did it have to take so much time? All her worries about acting normal and Kim-like were drowned.

Monique was standing only a few feet away, wide-eyed and shaking. "You are not Kim. You are not Kim."

There was no getting around it.

She didn't even wait for a response. She raised one arm, pointing straight at 993. "You talked about this. Synthogoo and syntho-whatzits. You are not Kim."

993 stood up. "Just say it."

"You're a syntho-thing! Just like Erik!"

993's mouth bent upwards in a sneer. "You guessed right, Monique. You guessed right."

"Where is the real Kim?" Monique gave another tiny scream. "What did you do with her? If you don't tell me I promise I really will scream."

And she actually did get to begin a scream as 993 reached for her.

Fortunately 993 had even better shocking talent than 901.