Thanks so much to my readers! Sorry I'm a lazy writer!
KPShadowgirl, Lonestarr, jasminevr, mattb3671, Daeron Blackoak, Blinknskater, Drakken's Woman, Ace Ian Combat, qtpie235, surforst, xPussyWillowKittenx, daywalkr82, MrDrP, the real Violet Parr.
Oh, and if you have not read MrDrP's fic Kim Possible: Nacho Boy and the Dragon Lady, do so. It's a most charming of AU fics, and it's finished. Only nine chapters, so I'm not forcing you to anything lengthy.
"You know, Kim, I like your house. Nice-looking, not too horribly modern." Shego rapped a finger against the door. "Your parents have good taste."
So now Shego was an expert on architecture. Why was Kim not surprised? "Yes, well, why don't you ask to buy the deed?"
"Possible, do I look like a suburban housewife to you? Dr. Drakken may have dang awful secret lairs, but with a little ingenuity on my part I can do wonders."
Kim nodded. That was almost worth a smile. "Ah, so you're planning to have your own home design show in the future?"
Shego shrugged. "It's not such a horrible idea, is it? Now do you plan on opening the door?"
Kim turned her attention to the door, trying to avoid the consideration of whether this was a tasteful door or not. She had lived in the house her entire life, she had no right to consider its aesthetic qualities. That was harder said than done. Well, all she had to do was open it, ugly door or not. Though if Shego wanted in so desperately, why didn't she open the door? That would be a Shego thing to do. Heck, she was surprised the woman hadn't already broken down a wall in fiery glory. Now this was odd. Standing on her own doorstep, next to an enemy, wondering what her synthodrone clone was doing inside. A synthodrone had probably just slept in her bed! Oh, but life was messy. "Are you sure it's in there?"
Whatever synthodrone locating device Shego had brought along beeped defiantly in response. That had to be worth some sign. Shego frowned and flipped it between her fingers like a cigarette. "Yup. She's in there. Or was."
"Was?"
Shego sighed. "It might delay a few minutes. I had to invent the thing myself. Did it a few nights ago, when Drakken wasn't looking. Sue me for getting paranoid and not being quite the mechanical genius my stupid boss is."
"Did you just call Drakken a genius?"
"Will you open the door already?"
If it would create some sort of end to this weirdness. She grabbed the knob and pushed the door open. She could see it all now. Parents freaking out. Brothers thinking it all cool. Unless they also believed in this synthodrone as their own daughter/sister. Kim stepped into the living room.
"Kim?"
Kim almost screamed. Oh, no. Not what she needed.
It was Ron, sitting on her couch with a remote control and a... photo album. Even Ron had never been allowed to flip through those blackmail fodders. And now he was, just after kissing her... Her legs twisted weakly under her, and she grabbed the wall for support. No, no, no. She pushed herself back up. She was not going to freak. "Ron?"
"Ah, Stoppable!" Shego pushed past Kim, eyes already scanning the room for more fashion opinion, no doubt.
In a flash Ron was off the couch. "You brought Shego with you?"
Kim glanced back at Shego. Yeah, the woman did look pretty scary, and considering the number of times she had taken Ron out in a good deal of pain... "Yes, Ron, I brought Shego. Where's the synthodrone?"
"Synthodrone?" The remote dropped to the floor with a shatter. Batteries scattered. Ron grimaced. "Sorry about that. What synthodrone? You warned me about the synthodrone copy of you but..." His voice trailed off as the photo album, too, tumbled out of his arm in a hurricane of pictures and cheap scrapbook material.
"I think you're little boyfriend is about to freak," Shego said mildly. Out of the corner of her eye, Kim could see her stretching out her fingers one by one.
This was going to be a disaster. Okay, summon Ron calming techniques. "Ron, I want you take a deep breath and listen to–"
"You're the synthodrone!" Ron screamed. "You warned me about you! You told me that someone made a synthodrone of you!"
Shego just laughed.
Kim took her own deep breath. "No, I'm not the synthodrone. I'm the real Kim."
Ron shook his head. A rather frightening sneer glowed from his face. "Oh, no. I'm not that stupid, synthodrone. I am nowhere that stupid. I know exactly what you and Shego are plotting!"
"Shego and I aren't plotting anything!"
"Sure we are," Shego said in a particularly syrupy voice. "Sidekick Boy, we're looking for the real synthodrone. Your Kimmie friend is not a synthodrone. You've just been fooled. So do you want to tell us where she is?"
"Can't you just work with that tracking device?" Kim whispered, panicked.
Shego looked down at the device, still clutched in one hand. "Eh..." She tossed it over her shoulder and against a wall. "The machines are usually Drakken's line of work. My way is so much more practical."
"If you're the real Kim," Ron continued as he rolled up his sleeves. "And you and Shego aren't plotting anything, hen why did you bring her along?"
That would take an incredibly long time to explain. But apparently that was the only option. "Ron, if you would just list–"
He was not going to listen. He charged at her, arms stretched out, yelling "Die, synthodrone!"
At least it wasn't that Monkey Kung Fu. Kim closed her eyes and ducked to the side, only sticking out one leg in defense. Sorry, Ron.
He landed with a typical Ron scream.
Somewhere upstairs Kim heard her mother say something about how dating wasn't what it used to be. Even her parents thought she was with Ron that way! She jumped to her feet, breathless, and whirled around. "Ron?"
Shego had him pinned down, one hand on his shoulder, another hand all green glowing and...
"Shego!" Kim screamed.
Shego glanced up, clearly annoyed.
It was enough time for Ron to make some attempt at freedom. He squeezed his fingers around Shego's wrist and pushed. She rolled to the side, barely missing him with her other hand.
"Okay, I am not putting up with this," she muttered. She rolled back onto Ron, who was now trying to sit up, and resumed pinning him down.
It was all Kim could do to keep herself from plopping right down and crying. This was so unfair! Instead, she summoned whatever energy was left in her and also jumped onto Ron, right between him and Shego.
"I'm telling the real Kim!" Ron shouted.
Slowly, Shego backed away. "Kimmie, you are no fun. No fun at all."
Kim sighed and eased off Ron. She had just kneed him in the stomach. "We're after the synthodrone, Shego, not Ron. Ron is only a victim here."
"You don't need to tell me that." And with that Ron threw himself back onto her.
Kim hadn't expected that. She landed back on the carpet, arms pinned down and Ron sneering down into her face. She tried to twist away, but he was not relenting. She hadn't realized how strong he was. "Ron, let me go!"
His hands pressed into her arms all the tighter. "Oh, no, synthodrone. Kim told me about what you did to her."
"Ron, I'm the real Kim!" Even she realized how pointless that statement was. Of course he thought the other was real.
Shego laughed above them. "You know, I'd never thought I'd see you two fighting again. Especially like this."
Ron nodded. "That's right, Shego! The Ron-man will fight anyone that tries to impersonate his girlfriend!"
"Girlfriend?" The word was even worse coming from his mouth. "Ron, I am not your girlfriend! We've discussed this!" There was only one thing to do. He didn't have so much power over her legs... With one quick kick of her knee...
At least it got him away from her. He fell back, moaning.
"I've got him, Possibe!" Shego shouted. She was already poised to leap onto Ron one more time.
Not again. She dove onto Ron herself. Hopefully he was still in enough pain to listen. "No, Shego, we are not killing Ron. Go look for the synthodrone or something." She turned her attention to Ron. It was easy enough to scare the boy. Just lock eyes with him without a crack of a smile. "Now, Ron, are you going to listen?"
He just glared at her.
Good enough. At least he wasn't struggling. "You've been duped, Ron. I'm the real Kim Possible. I promise. Now I really can't prove that now, but I am. The other Kim, the one from last night, was a fake. That was the synthodrone pretending to be me."
"Then why are wearing that super suit?"
"What does that have to do anything? This one's a fake, the other was the real suit that our friend Wade Load built for us. See? I even know who he is. Now are you accusing me of wearing a fake super suit or a real one?"
Ron just looked confused. Most likely he had just blurted out that accusation.
"I didn't think you had any idea." Now she herself was confused about it. Stupid super suit. "I spent the entire night locked in a basement. Got that?"
Ron managed a nod.
"Good. I have no idea what you did, but the real me, the one right here trying to keep you from doing something incredibly stupid is me. The one right here in the room. Got it?"
"No, you're a fake!" he spat. "I met you this morning. You were wearing this same super suit, and that's how I know you're a fake. Because the real Kim came and told me that she fought with you, and since she was the real Kim and said that you were the fake, you must me the synthodrone."
"Ron, that doesn't make any sense."
"It makes perfect sense, synthodrone! Because I knew it wasn't the same one from the last night, because you freaked out when I kissed you." He shuddered under her arms. "Yuck. I can't believe I kissed a synthodrone."
He was going to freak when he finally believed her. "I know! You kissed me, moron!"
"P'shah! That's what I just said, synthodrone!"
"You know, you two are really cute together," Shego said nonchalantly.
"Shut up, Shego," Kim muttered. "Ron, I hate to break it to you, but I'm the real Kim, and you kissed me, and I'm not very happy with you about it. Now I don't even want to know what happened last night with you and the synthodrone, or why that suddenly makes you in love with me. I just want you to get the facts straight!"
The look of defiance etched all over his face ebbed somewhat as the first signs of doubt crept in. But that didn't last long. "I don't believe you. I know that was the real Kim last night! I wouldn't have bore my entire soul to someone I didn't care for!"
"What?" Kim relaxed her grip. He had said something about this when he had kissed her. How deep did it go?
"That's right!" he exclaimed. "That's right! You don't even know about that! The real Kim understood! She got it! She even admitted Erik was a creep even though I had been saying that all along!"
"You said you were okay with Erik!" Of course he had obviously lied about that, she hadn't been that in lust with the synthodrone at the time.
"The real Kim didn't believe me when I told her that."
"I didn't believe you!" She closed her eyes. Oh, she could not freak out at this point. She could not. "Ron, do you even know when I was switched with the fake clone?"
"But you were never switched." He shook his head. "You, the fake Kim, came in this morning at the school, and I made the horrible and disgusting mistake of kissing you."
"I know. Ron, again, I'm the real Kim. When I ran to Erik last night, he electrocuted me or something. I woke up tied up by Shego here in a basement. So that means that whatever happened with you and this other 'Kim' did not concern me one bit." Oh, great, now she was using the finger quotes herself.
Ron just laughed. "I'm sure."
She groaned. "Okay, I'll prove it! You have a pet naked mole rat named Rufus."
"I told you earlier I left him at home."
"Okay, you want something else. Your middle name is Eustace, after your great-uncle who thinks he's the captain of the Titanic. You threw up in the first grade trying to give Tara a Valentine. You threw up in the second grade trying to give Hope a Valentine. Your favorite color is blue. Your favorite restaurant is Bueno Nacho. The volume button on the television in your bedroom actually changes the channels four stations down. You used to be afraid of mechanical horses because of a bad experience with one at the Smarty Mart when you were four. You're allergic to sandlewood incense. You have the My Little Pony movie memorized because of babysitting your cousin Sariah–"
"You could have memory programs!"
"Which we did give 993," Shego said. "She probably does know half of that."
That was logical. Kim sighed. "Okay, Ron. What would prove anything to you? How can I prove to you I'm not a synthodrone?"
He considered that a moment. "Synthodrones are full of synthogoo. I saw that when Rufus bit Erik last night."
"Rufus bit Eirk?"
Ron just looked irritated. "See? The real Kim would have known that!"
"I was switched before any epic battle like that!"
"Whatever. So, Sythodrone Kim, if you are a synthodrone like I think you are, you will be full of synthogoo if I cut you."
"Ooh, violence," Shego practically sang.
That was disgusting. "I'm not cutting myself!"
Ron rolled his eyes. "Well, if you're that afraid of proving yourself..."
Well, she had received plenty of scrapes from battle. "Shego, the knives are in the kitchen, top drawer right of the dishwasher."
Shego returned shortly with a paring knife. "You also have a really nice kitchen. Drakken refuses to invest in a kitchen. He is surprisingly cheap for a mad scientist."
"Thanks. Just give me the knife."
Instead, Shego dove forward and slashed the blade over Kim's palm.
"That's for everything you've ever done to me!"
"Ouch! Shego!" Kim squeezed her palm. She hated the way she could actually feel the blood seep out.
Shego sighed. "Relax, Possible, it wasn't deep. What do you think, sidekick?"
Kim had forgotten about Ron. He was silent. She met his eyes.
He stared up at her, face pale and eyes wide and focused on the blood trickling from her fist. "That's blood."
"He's not going to faint, is he?" Shego asked. "Because that would be really funny right now."
"Why don't you just go look for your precious robot?" Kim snapped.
"Because this is way too much fun."
"That's blood," Ron repeated. "You're bleeding. That's not synthogoo. You're really bleeding..." His voice faultered, and it was a moment before he could catch his breath. "Kim."
Kim climbed off of him, feeling rather lightheaded. "I'm glad you believe me. Finally."
"I believe you." His voice was surprisingly faint. "I'm... sorry I tried to attack you." Slowly, dizzily, he climbed to his feet.
"Ron?" she asked. "Are you–"
"Okay?" He nodded. "Yeah, KP. I'm fine. Perfectly fine. Never been better." He dropped back to his knees. "And I'm... really sorry about this morning at the school... when I..."
"Kissed me?" She could barely get the words out. Suddenly that experience was back in her mind. He had kissed her. She still couldn't get over that. He had kissed her, and for that moment it was all she could think about. His lips on hers.
He nodded again. "Yeah. About that. Can we just let that go the route of the moodulator incident and..."
He was upset. He was really upset. And it was all her fault. "Ron, I'm sorry."
He put up his hand. "No, no, it's fine. Really. Just another awkweird incident. It's all good."
Kim sat down before him. This was natural, this was normal. She and her best friend, just hanging out on the floor, like always. Except... "Yes, this is really awkweird. But..." Say something about the synthodrone. Can't have one of those running around. The words just weren't coming out. Her mind was a mess of unsortable thoughts.
"Enough with the heartache," Shego said, plopping down between them. "I still have a synthodrone to find. So, buffoon, where did she go?"
Ron looked like he was about to give another Valentine. "She went with... Monique. Just a few minutes ago. Monique wanted girl talk. Girl talk with a..."
"Monique." Kim jumped to her feet. Monique was so lousy at defending herself. "Any idea where they went?"
Ron slowly shook his head, refusing to meet her eyes.
What had she just done? Had all that really been necessary? "Well, we really should go."
A few laughs broke out. Tim and Jim peered around from behind the couch, Tim clutching a video camera. "You had better leave before we show this to Dad. That was not appropriate dating behavior."
Ron fell face-first into the carpet.
She would just have to kill them later.