Jeff Probst's voice over: Previously on "Survivor:" Tribes were scrambled and alliances were re-considered (shots of Grimlock and Shrapnel getting along, Starscream shaking Mirage's hand.) After coconut dodgeball, Soundwave was sent packing (Shots of Soundwave leaving.) What will happen next?

Author's note: I will run the standard beginning but for the sake of keeping track of everything I will provide the new list of tribe members.

New Decepticonniption (Teal and white striped buff)

Megatron

Ironhide

Scrapper

Rumble

Wheelie

Optimus Prime

Red Alert

New Autobotopea (Pink with white polka dot buff)

Grimlock

Motormaster

Mirage

Shrapnel

Mishap

Soundwave

Starscream

Authors note: Confessionals will be italicized

DAY SEVENTEEN

(Nightvision shots of New Autobotopea returning from camp.)

Motormaster: (Construction worker, buff is a wristband) They voted off Soundwave, the only other guy who didn't have an alliance. I do NOT have an alliance with any of them! This bites. Now I'll have to join with that two-faced Starscream for protection.

(We move to a lovely sunrise and morning at Autobotopea. Starscream comes out of the shelter.)

Starscream: Where are Shrapnel, Grimlock, and Motormaster?

Mishap: (Pouring water into energon converter) Getting more firewood.

Starscream: (Walking away) Humph. Shrapnel will bring none back. Mark my words.

Mishap: Why did Mo-(energon converter explodes) AUGH!

Starscream: Mishap! (Picks her up and, under cameraman's direction runs to First Aid's tent further in the jungle.)

(Shots of Decepticonniption, where Optimus is conversing with Ironhide)

Optimus Prime: You want to throw the challenge so that we can oust the Decepticons?

Ironhide: It's tha only way, Prahme. They outnumber us ayte t' six. What if the Autobotopea voted off another Autobot?

Optimus: You may be right. We'll wait and see. Right now, I'd rather work on my tan.

Ironhide: (Country musician, teal buff worn as a headband) Prahme ignored ma warnin.' He'll be sorry when we're voted off and Megatron wins! What's gotten inta him, anyway? He hasn't been this irrasponsible since afore he got tha Matrix! (Various shots of Prahme, I mean, Prime, lounging about, doing nothing, mostly sleeping. His buff changes place to illustrate the passage of time.)

Scrapper: (Emerging from woods with a letter and an armload of chickenwire, wooden slats, and tools.) We have treemail! And a task!

"Like C. Everett's parents, you must make a coop! Do it wrong, you are a stupe! Get reward, chickens you'll board!"

Rumble: We have to make a chicken coop? What do robots do with chickens?

Megatron: Autobotopea can have the poultry! I have a better use for these materials!

(Back at Autobotopea Mirage has arrived at First Aid's tent with the converter, Shrapnel, Motormaster, Grimlock, and Jeff Probst.)

Jeff: What happened?

Mirage: (holding up converter) See these tiny teeth marks? A rabbit gnawed through the circuits, causing it to malfunction!

Starscream: WHAT! (To Probst) What kind of place have you taken us to? This could have been prevented if you hadn't put us out here to be killed by these stupid rodents! Half of her armor is burnt off! It's eating her circuits! This is all YOUR fault!

Jeff: Why didn't you put it up at night?

First Aid: Everybody OUT! I'm calling her to be airlifted to the mainland!

Mishap: (So soft she's subtitled.) Guys?

Autobotopea: Yeah?

Mishap: Kick their afts today.

Grimlock: WE WILL.

Fist Aid: Here comes the chopper! (It lands and gets ready to lift her.)

Mishap: (Looking at Starscream and Mirage, who are standing together.) I love you.

Mirage and Starscream: I know. (Both look at the other, surprised. Mishap is lifted out before they can argue.)

REWARD CHALLENGE

(Shots of everyone at camp, looking glum. Motormaster is reading the treemail.)

Motormaster: "Like C. Everett's parents, you must make a coop! Do it wrong, you are a stupe! Get reward, chickens you'll board!"

Mirage: (White House intern, pink buff is a band around his leg) I'm worried about Oasis. We agreed, as a tribe, to beat Decepticonniption for her, and move on. I hope we can. It hasn't been easy. Starscream's spent all day pacing.

Starscream: (Julliard Instructor, pink buff is worn as a neckband) I have lost my most potent ally. Now I have to regroup. Cursed rabbits! I knew they'd be trouble.

Shrapnel: (Wood in his hands.) We need no chickens, chickens. I'll take care of these raw materials, materials.

Grimlock: (Taking wood away from Shrapnel before he eats it.) NO WAY! ME GRIMLOCK LOVE CHICKENS! ME GRIMLOCK MAKE COOP! WE WIN, LIKE WE PROMISE MISHAP!

(Autobotopea exchange glances.)

Mirage: Why not? (Others shrug.) Are you any good at construction, Grimlock? (Grimlock nods.)

Motormaster: I heard Grimlock built Computron.

Starscream: (Watching Grimlock building a coop in a frenzy of excitement. The chickenwire gets tangled around him.) Over my dead body.

(Commercial break: BUY PRINGLES OR OSAMA WINS! Hey, it worked for Dick Cheney.)

(Zoom in shots of Decepticonniption. Megatron is working on something metal. The chicken coop materials surround him. Jeff Probst comes up in his gunboat.)

Jeff: Have you built the coop?

Megatron: (Ignoring Jeff) Shockwave, come in! Shockwave! (All you hear is a faint cheering noise, and someone yelling "Goooooooooooooal!") Stupid Telemundo! (He kicks the machine and it implodes.) Augh! Probst, where did you get this thing? Someone could loose an optic!

Jeff: (Looking guilty for a second.) Was that the energon converter?

Megatron: I wanted to make a high-frequency radio to tell Shockwave where I am so he could come and get me!

Optimus Prime: (Coming out of the woods with a container of water.) You want to QUIT?

Megatron: No...I just miss him, that's all. (He sees Optimus' look.) What?

(Others come out from where Prime was, carrying water as well.)

Scrapper: Where's the energon converter?

Jeff: Your fearless leader blew it up. You didn't build a chicken coop. You win nothing. I'll give the new batteries to Autobotopea. I'm off. (Jumps into the gunboat)

Megatron: You said nothing of batteries! Die, Probst! (Points his arm, realizes his ion cannon is gone, and stomps into the woods in a huff.)

Red Alert: He's trying to kill us! Without energon, we'll be dead for sure! I KNEW this switch was a bad idea! Did anybody listen, nooooo-

Optimus: Shut up!

Ironhide: Prahme!

Optimus: I'm sick of his paranoia! He's ticking me off!

Ironhide: That's no way t' talk t' him!

Optimus: I'm getting sick of YOU too!

(Fight degrades into shouting. The others watch.)

Rumble: (Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist, buff worn as a tube top) I think an alliance is going to tumble. This is good for us! The moment those two split up I went up to Optimus and talked to him. Thought I could cut a deal.

DAY EIGHTEEN

(Shots of Autobotopea, looking at Grimlock's coop. It has an exercise wheel, a bed, fully stocked bar, etc.)

Shrapnel: It's amazing, amazing!

Jeff: It is! You win new batteries, brought to you by Duracell! (Cheers around him.) You also, because Grimlock asked nicely, get this chicken. (He puts it in the coop.)

Grimlock: I NAME HIM SUPERPECKER!

Starscream: That's the most moronic name I have ever heard! Besides, chickens are female!

Mirage: (Laughing) Let him call it whatever he wants. Welcome, Superpecker!

Jeff: Here's some food for her. Change her hay every few days. I'll see you tomorrow for the Immunity Challenge.

DAY NINETEEN : IMMUNITY CHALLENGE

(Both tribes arrive, Jeff watches them come in with a solemn face. He is in front of a large wall of Pringles cans.)

Jeff: I forgot to tell Decepticonniption yesterday, but Autobotopea not only lost Soundwave, but Mishap had an accident.

Starscream: The rabbits got her.

Rumble: No!

Jeff: I would like to officially state that it was not the fault of our energon converter company, who shall remain nameless. GE. Moving on: today you are going to attempt the amazing: Behind this "Pringles Wall of Selling your Soul to Capitalism" is your immunity challenge. (Sweeping shots of puzzle pieces scattered around, and two robot-sized lifeguard chairs.) You are shutting your optics off, getting blindfolded, and one tribemember sits on the chair and tells you where to go to get the puzzle pieces. Once you have all twelve pieces, I allow you to see and assemble the puzzle. Decepticonniption, you must sit two people out. Any questions? (None) Decepticonniption, who is sitting out? Wheelie and Rumble? Megatron is instructing you? Autobotopea, who's doing the calling? (Snicker) Starscream?

Megatron: This I have to see!

Starscream: (Climbing up to the chair.) Watch and learn, Mega-bum!

Jeff: You are playing for the immunity idol: (Jeff gestures to the G.I. Joe TM with K'ung Fu grip superglued to a stick.) Survivors ready? (Raises right arm. Switches to left arm) Go!

Starscream: Grimlock, 5 paces ahead, turn 50 degrees right, four paces, stop! Mirage, 20 paces at 35 degrees left, stop! Motormaster, go ahead...ninety paces. You will go down and up two inclines, and hit the beach. When you feel the water, stop!

Megatron: Forward! No, not you, YOU! The red one! Prime, stop! (Optimus runs into Grimlock, head first, and falls over.)

Starscream: Step over him Grimlock, and go twelve paces twenty degrees left! Shrapnel, there is a fallen tree between you and the puzzle piece! Eat for two minutes and reach out, the piece will be in your grasp! Motormaster, wade ahead for 45 seconds and stop! There should be a piece in front of you!

Megatron: Look out, Scrapper! (Scrapper falls over a piece and lays on the sand, indignant.)

Scrapper: I need better direction than that!

Megatron: Stand up, you fool! Prime, there's a piece to your left! No, your other left!

Starscream: Mirage, twenty degrees forward, reach out, you will go three steps around a large rock, go ninety degrees left, walk-

Mirage: Hold on! (Goes around rock while Starscream gives orders to Grimlock.) OK. (Starscream resumes.)

(Grimlock returns a piece, is sent out again. Motormaster comes back with two pieces, nearly runs into the lifeguard stand. Scrapper trips, falls, and takes Red Alert with him.)

Red Alert: You did that on purpose! You WANT me to fail-

Optimus: (From lake, past his piece.) Shut up!

Ironhide: (Way off course) YOU SHUT UP, PRAHME!

Jeff: The only people talking should be the ones in the chairs! Autobotopea has six pieces, Decepticonniption has...uh, well...

Megatron: Ironhide is almost here with one! (Ironhide falls over while Grimlock, Mirage, Shrapnel, and Motormaster deposit five more pieces for Autobotopea.)

Starscream: We still have one more piece! (Starscream stands up and looks around.) Jeff, it's not here!

Jeff: Yes it is!

Starscream: Who can see fifty meters clearly and who can't see how ugly he looks in that hat?

Jeff: I personally oversaw the placement of the -You're right, it's gone! (He looks around.)

Starscream: I told you so! (To camera) Is it too late to get Ben Stein to host this?

Jeff: There it is! Ironhide had it!

Megatron: So we have none?

Starscream: Motormaster, ninety degrees right, ten paces, grab it!

Jeff: You can take your blindfolds off, Autobotopea, now that you have all six. (Autobotopea puts it together quickly, thanks to Grimlock.) Autobotopea wins immunity! (Shots of Starscream leaping off of the tower, chest butting Motormaster, Grimlock doing a dance. Mirage grabs the immunity idol, G.I. Joe TM with K'ung Fu grip superglued to a stick.) Megatron, you look a little upset.

Megatron: I never thought my underling would supercede my skills at delegation.

Starscream: Never underestimate the accuracy of your Air Force Commander.

TRIBAL COUNCIL

Jeff: (Nods his head in greeting as the scary music plays.) Welcome, everyone. Have a seat. (They sit on giant wooden benches.) So, Optimus, what happened when you got back to camp?

Optimus Prime: Nothing. We sat around the fire and talked about our favorite Cybertronian hobbies.

Jeff: Did anyone negotiate? (They shook their heads. Jeff looks puzzled.) Weird. Shrapnel, do you have a strong alliance?

Shrapnel: The best, the best.

Jeff: Megatron, are you doubting any of your abilities?

Megatron: No.

Jeff: (Surprised.) No?

Megatron: Did I stutter?

Jeff: (Sigh.) Ironhide, go ahead.

(Ironhide goes over to the voting table and scribbles quickly. His vote is not shown. Montage of scary music and voting. Rumble goes next, voting for Red Alert.)

Rumble: See ya, freak!

(Scrapper is the last, voting for Red Alert.)

Scrapper: Now I can go offline and not be woken up every five minutes with you screaming that you sense a rabbit.

Jeff: I'll go tally the votes. (Retrieves the container they put their votes in.) Once the votes are read, the decision is final. The mech voted out will be asked to leave the tribal council area immediately. I'll read the votes. First vote: "Red Alert". Second vote: "Red Alert." "Megatron." Two votes Red Alert, one vote Megatron. "Red Alert." (Red Alert looks depressed.) Three votes Red Alert, one vote Megatron. (Unfolds a vote.) Fourth Survivor to be voted off: (Shows vote.) "Red Alert." (Sad music plays. Red Alert grabs his torch.) Red Alert, the tribe has spoken. (He extinguishes Red Alert's torch.) Interesting how there were no discrepancies about this council. Did you guys talk at all to each other about this? (They shake their heads.) He didn't negotiate with any of you? That's interesting. Or...not. Anyway, get out of here. Tomorrow's another day.

(music picks up)

NEXT WEEK ON SURVIVOR:

Jeff Probst demands a pay cut; working with the Transformers is joy enough!

(As credits roll, showing everybody voting him off. Red Alert cries. "I knew it! They were out to get me! I hate them all!")