The change was almost immediate. 993 rose from the floor in one fluid motion, eyes fixated tightly on Kim. Whatever freaky robo-anger she had felt before was gone, replaced by the eeriest sneer Ron had never seen on the real Kim's face.
Ron, now half-sitting on the floor, scrambled backwards in an odd crabwalk he hadn't used since elementary school. This could not be good. This could not be good at all.
"Uh-oh," Rufus stated briefly.
Ron found himself nodding. That was right. Uh-oh. The biggest 'uh-oh' he had ever come in contact with. No, scratch that. In the past forty-five minutes. He wouldn't lie to himself that he hadn't seen anything worse. But somehow this wasn't quite turning out to what he expected. He was supposed to fly in all dramatically and destroy this crazy synthodrone and save the day and all that other fun stuff. Boo-yah. But this wasn't that. This was something altogether different.
Shego was a traitor. Why, oh why, had he not seen that coming?
Kim. It was Kim's fault. Kim was the one who decided to team up with Shego. Of all the stupid things. The stupid things were his job, not Kim's. Now Kim…
Barely a second had passed, he realized. Barely a second. And it all came to him lying there on the floor like an idiot while a synthodrone leered at Kim.
Shego stepped back and folded her arms over her chest in obvious self-importance. "See, Dr. D? All better!"
Drakken took another bite from his Slim Jim. "I still don't see any action."
She laughed. "Just wait."
"I can't just jump in there like a moron," the synthodrone replied. The tone really wasn't all that Kim-like, now that Ron thought about it. "She'd probably do me instantly."
Rufus emitted another squeak and hopped onto Ron's shoulder. Why did Rufus always do that? Protection? Protection. Ron bit his lip. Wasn't that why he was here? Yes, that had been the plan. Swing into action, fight the bad guys, protect Kim… and so far he was doing an awful job. No wonder she didn't feel the same.
She stood next to Monique's pole. Nothing… seemed wrong. She glared back at Shego and the synthodrone, fists already squeezed and lowered defensively at her side. "Shego," she finally said. Slowly. Haltingly. Ron had never seen her like this. "Why am I not surprised? And to think I trusted you."
That seemed to catch the synthodrone's interest—at least draw a laugh out of her. She turned to Shego, her expression almost demanding approval. Shego shrugged, smile widening by the second. "Hey, it's like that story everyone tells about the snake or whatever it was. You knew I was a horrible villain, and yet you teamed up with me anyway. Your fault."
"I've had a very bad night." And with that Kim struck. In the blink of an eye her knees bent to the floor in a firm crouch that allowed only her finger tips to brush the surface. Then she was back up, flying through the air in a rolling flip that arched over the distance to the synthodrone and landed her just inches away—with a single whirling kick that Ron recognized from the last cheer competition landing at the synthodrone's face.
Monique cheered. "This is better than wrestling! Go Kim!"
Ron's breath caught. Yes. This was his Kim. She was never scared for very long. Never.
But the synthodrone still had that awful programming. Before the kick could leave its mark, her hands were up and striking Kim's foot away. With one foot Kim jumped back and prepared for one more kick.
For a moment Ron was frozen where he was, splayed awkwardly in the middle of the room, ready fodder to be trampled. This was insane. Two Kims, fighting each other. One didn't see something like that everyday. Perhaps he could get Monique or even Drakken to make some bets with him on the outcome…
Another defiant squeak. Rufus had moved to Ron's knee and now stared up at him with the bossiest glare any naked mole rat had ever given.
Dang. Right. That's why he was here. Kim. The real Kim. The one he had followed out here because he had been stupid enough to try to ditch out a mission. Almost. He was here now. That had to count for something.
But he had never, ever let Kim go on a mission on her own. Just because their relationship was in chaos right now was no reason to change that.
You didn't just ignore the people you… loved.
He was way in over his head with this. Mistake after mistake after mistake. And this had to be another mistake, or something downright close to it. That synthodrone was really good. Really, really good.
But not that good. How could he have ever confused the two of them? They were nothing alike! Well, maybe a little bit. The hair was about the same color…
But she could fight just as well as Kim. That was the same. Maybe even fight a bit better…
Kim couldn't possibly hold out very long on this, could she?
Good grief, he couldn't think!
And then it came.
"Ron, do something, moron!"
He gasped and jumped to his feet. That was it. The voice of his conscience. Somewhere above him, brutal and beautiful and everything he had imagined his conscience would be.
"This is obviously too fair a fight for Kim—can't believe I'm saying that--, and I know that you are famous for doing weird stuff to miraculously help save the day, so get on with that."
It was true. The fight between Kim and the synthodrone was casting itself into a oddly creepy tornado of whirling arms and legs and a dozen other feats of physical nature Ron had never really bothered to ponder. It was fair, too fair. Kim couldn't fight herself and win, could she? Was that not a paradox?
"For crying out loud, boy, get up and do something useful! Do you love the girl? This is probably more exciting for me than it is for you, and yet you insist on ruining it! Ron, I am ashamed to call you my friend right now. Of course that's also going for Miss Love is Blind over there… You're all idiots."
His conscience was getting mean. But what was he supposed to do? But yes… he did care for Kim, no matter what she thought! He had meant what he had shouted at the synthodrone. He wasn't going to forget Kim just because she hated him. He had to find something! His conscience was demanding it! His eyes spun over the room. Drakken still standing with his groceries, the various computers and pipes and other pointless odds and ends that always seemed to litter this lair. Maybe if he could build yet another world-destroying device… no, not enough materials, and that was a miracle one could pull off only so many times. Rufus scampered back to his shoulder, his eyes searching just as fast as Ron's. Maybe he could climb up and jump off of something. Again. Would that work once more?
The voice of his conscience gave an exasperate sigh. "Distract the clone thing, Ron!"
Of course! Maybe he could seduce her. After all, he had done it before. Girls liked apologies, right? Yes, that would be his plan. He smiled and pumped a fist into the air. "Thank-you, Conscience!"
"Conscience? Honey, did you hit your head?"
He finally looked up.
Monique stared down at him from her post, frowning. "I know I'm brilliant, Ron, but please do not consider me your conscience. I don't want to think about having that kind of responsibility. Now, rescue your girl before I have to chew my way out of here and beat the both of you."
Ron nodded. How long had Monique been up there, anyhow? "Thank-you, Monique!" With that, he began the arduous task of thrusting himself between Kim and the synthodrone.
Or at least thinking about the arduous task.
But the fight was still furious.
Okay, different plan. He would… call her. Yes, shout her name. How hard could it be? He cupped his hands around his mouth. "Hey, Kim!"
Neither Kim nor Kim-copy glanced at him.
That wasn't working. He took a deep breath. "Hey, Synthodrone Kim! I've changed my feelings for you!"
The synthodrone didn't pause, but sent another kick in Kim's direction. "Feelings? What feelings?"
Girls. Were they always like this? So… changeable? "I've decided that I really do love you. More than the real Kim Possible. Human girls are so common."
Rufus made a face. Ron inwardly agreed. Synthodrone. Yuck.
"I'm flattered." The synthodrone dodged a blow by backing right into the wall. Cornerned? "But I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about. You love me? You just said you didn't?" Then, before Kim could do anything, she lifted her arms over her head and sprang up. Her hands pushed off the wall as she did so, and sent her body sailing over Kim's head. She twisted as she landed, facing Kim's back. She raised one hand.
Kim spun around and deflected. "Ron, what do you think you're doing?"
The synthodrone shrugged and took a few more steps back, her feet sliding backwards over the floor like in a dance. She was good. "Well, you are the real Kimmie, aren't you? If you want to say human is any more real than anyone else. The original Kim Possible, we'll say. Shouldn't you know more about this?"
Something was wrong.
"You have to apologize!" Monique hissed.
But he hated apologizing. "I'm sorry… Syntho-Kim! I was scared of my own feelings!" What else worked in an apology? "I was insecure and afraid of a new relationship. But I'm ready to commit! You are my sun and my moon!"
For a moment everyone paused. Kim stared at him, balanced precariously with one foot, barely supportive, behind her. Drakken almost choked on his Slim Jim.
"You've gotta be kidding me," Shego muttered.
The synthodrone glanced briefly at Kim. "Once again, I'm flattered, and you are very sweet. But…" she pointed at Shego, "she reprogrammed me. I'm fixed."
Ron's heart plummeted way past the area of his rib cage. Fixed? "What?"
"The bugs are gone. The ones that made me in love with you."
"Are you that blind, sidekick?" Shego asked with a sneer. Her arms dropped to her sides… and her hands went green. "Everyone else watched me reprogram the girl. You were right there! I fixed her! Really, I don't know how you got caught up in your position of this insane love triangle."
"I was so—" the synthodrone began.
But she had paused too long. Kim struck, one quick kick to the synthodrone's leg. She stumbled back, no longer quite as graceful as before. Kim came in closer for another strike.
Go Kim! Ron thought. Maybe she could pull this off herself.
But the synthodrone was quick to recover. Kim made another jab, but the third… the synthodrone deflected it, and Shego jumped in with a move of her own, glowing green fists flying right towards Kim's shoulder. One block, two blocks…
"Wonderful," Monique said above him.
No. He could not let Kim be beaten here. Kim always won. Last night, when she thought she had lost—that had not been Kim. That had been the synthodrone. And even then, he hadn't let the stupid synthodrone think anything bad about herself.
Perhaps he was supposed to think something inspiring about Kim at this moment. Maybe himself. Maybe he was supposed to call out some heartwarming message of courage and triumph to Kim. Like he had done last night.
But all he could think about was how that thing had gotten the message that had been intended for Kim.
The fight of women shifted to the left. Someone's foot hit something, and sent it skidding over the floor towards Ron.
That… reprogramming thing Shego had used.
He heard angels sing. It was only a few feet away. He dove for it. Didn't seem all that complicated. A few buttons, a few knobs, something that was obviously supposed to be stuck into the synthodrone to start the reprogramming or however Wade would say it….
Great. Rufus sighed.
Unless… No. No, he couldn't ask Kim of that right now. She'd probably just ignore him or yell at him. Or maybe both. If that were realistic and possible. And he might just miss; Shego could catch it. And destroy it.
Rufus ran down his arm and snatched the device. It was bigger than the little guy, but he managed to hold it up just fine. He looked up at Ron, questioning.
Ron shook his head. "I don't know how to work it, either! Just… press buttons or something! That always works for us!"
Rufus saluted and jumped to the floor. Like lightening he joined the fight.
Or tried to.
As small and agile as he was, he couldn't get near the synthodrone.
Drakken let out another cackle and began to pick up his groceries. "This is wonderful! How could I have doubted Shego?" Then his eyes locked with Ron's. "Oh, I remember your name this time. But I refuse to say it. Because I know you will lose!"
Ron somehow doubted Ron remembered a single syllable.
Rufus glanced back, panicked. He couldn't even manage to get the device in the synthodrone's foot!
There had to be some other way. He couldn't lose.
Of course he couldn't lose. He wasn't even fighting. Apparently he was going to have to fight for Kim.
He didn't even think. All he could see was Kim, one clear figure fighting off the somehow murkier shapes of the synthodrone and Shego.
He could still fight for her.
"Ron, you are not about to do what I think you're about to do." Monique sounded very distant. And rather happy.
Before he knew it, he was running over the floor. Then on the floor, sliding on this stomach and completely unaware of how that had come to be. He grabbed the device from Rufus and shoved his way into the fight.
It hurt a great deal.
"Ron!" one of the Kims shouted.
He didn't care. There was the synthodrone wearing the synthodrone Kim outfit. She still didn't look a thing like the real Kim. She stared down at him in a split second of shock. She was probably going to try and kill him. He jabbed the device through her jeans. Oh, how he hoped this did something. He had no idea how the device worked. Well, there was always the hope he had even greater luck with computers than Shego.
The synthodrone gave a surprised yelp, then swung a fist at his head.
The last thing he remembered was Kim's face, mouth wide open.
The real Kim.