Jeff Probst's voice over: Previously on "Survivor:" An accident at Autobotopea relieved their tribe of another member. (Shots of Mishap being airlifted away.) Promising Mishap victory, Autobotopea did just that with a great chicken coop and superior management from Starscream during the blindfold challenge. Decepticonniption didn't have a chance. (Shots of Decepticonniption running into each other.) Red Alert was sent packing. Who's going home this week?

Author's note: I will run the standard beginning but for the sake of keeping track of everything I am providing the new list of tribe members.

New Decepticonniption (Teal and white striped buff)

Megatron

Ironhide

Scrapper

Rumble

Wheelie

Optimus Prime

Red Alert

New Autobotopea (Pink with white polka dot buff)

Grimlock

Motormaster

Mirage

Shrapnel

Mishap

Soundwave

Starscream

Authors note: Confessionals will be italicized

DAY EIGHTEEN

(Shots of clouds rolling in, rain falling. Autobotopea has a superior cover over their fire, Decepticonniption has a shoddy one. The rain keeps falling.)

Scrapper: (Truck driver, buff is like a headdress. He has a five o'clock shadow.) It has rained ALL day. Everything is soaked. Nobody has any patience for anybody else. We had no idea the worst was yet to come. (Shots of tribe, especially the former Autobotopea members, huddled together, miserable.) Wheelie has lost his mind. All he says now are Beatles lyrics.

Wheelie: Help! I need somebody! Help! Not just anybody, Help! You know, I need someone. HELP!

Optimus: WHAT?

Wheelie: (Gestures to dead fire.) In her eyes you see nothing, no sign of love behind the tears.

Optimus: Does it matter? Megatron broke the energon converter. You know...(voice lowering to levels requiring subtitles) we should lose him. Because of him we lost the last two challenges. I've noticed the grip he has on this tribe. We have to throw some challenges and get rid of him.

Ironhide : Ah told ya so, Prahme, but ya ignored me!

Optimus: Are you in or out?

Ironhide: Ah'm in.

Optimus: (Looking at Wheelie) well?

Wheelie: Yes it is, it's true.

(Shots over to a water-logged Autobotopea)

Motormaster: (Construction worker, buff is like a tube top.) Autobotowhatever is flooded. I can't go offline if I'm not sure whether or not I'll short-circuit when I come back on. At least we still have batteries. And Starscream as entertainment.

Starscream: I did not authorize that stupid chicken to come in here!

Grimlock: (Holding his chicken.) SUPERPECKER DOES NOT LIKE GETTING WET. ME GRIMLOCK WANT HIM DRY.

Mirage: (White House Intern, buff worn as a headdress) Starscream, for your own self preservation, let go of the chicken, stop getting involved with it, stop talking about it. Stop making a big spectacle when Grimlock carries it around; it's just too much. All you are doing is giving Grimlock a reason to come after you.

Starscream: (Glaring at Grimlock.) I don't want a chicken in this shelter! (Catches the Dinobot mumbling something.) Do you have some kind of problem?

GRIMLOCK: YES, ME GRIMLOCK HAVE A PROBLEM WITH YOU STARSCREAM'S ATTITUDE! STOP TALKING ABOUT ME GRIMLOCK'S CHICKEN!

Starscream: It's disgusting! (Waves finger in Grimlock's face as he yells.) Get rid of your slagging chicken!

Grimlock: YOU STARSCREAM NO WAG YOUR FINGER IN ME GRIMLOCK'S FACE!

Starscream: I will always wag my finger in your face!

Grimlock: ME GRIMLOCK SICK OF YOU STARSCREAM! ME GRIMLOCK AND SUPERPECKER GO OUTSIDE, RAIN IS OVER!

Starscream: (Julliard Instructor, buff around wrist) I have never liked Grimlock from the beginning, and everyone knows that. I am going to come at him with guns loaded.

DAY NINETEEN: REWARD CHALLENGE

(Aerial shots down to Jeff.)

Jeff: Welcome, Autobotopea! Notice who's gone from Decepticonniption?

Mirage: Red Alert is gone!

Jeff: Right! Are you ready for your reward challenge? (They nod.) OK, here we go! Today, you are jumping the shark for a simple reward: immunity!

Scrapper: We're jumping a what!

Megatron: We are jumping the shark. (Under his breath.) Just like this show.

Jeff: No, not really. Sharks are endangered species. The Sharkticons wanted money, none of the shark actors could be hired because they have been banned from SAG over a "biting incident." All we could get were mutated sea bass.

Motormaster: Are they ill-tempered?

Jeff: Yes. We are also using this to our advantage. What I want each of you to do is for alternating tribe members to jump over this ramp onto the other side. The sea bass will try to bite and hold onto you. When you get to the other side, put all of the fish biting you into the barrel over there. If you fall in, or the fish fall in, it doesn't count. You can't go in after them, GRIMLOCK. If you fall in, you're done. Any questions? (There are none.) You are trying to win this for immunity. Decepticonniptions, you have to sit someone out. Last time was Rumble and Wheelie. (Ironhide sits out.) YOU CANNOT USE YOUR ANTI-GRAVITY. Survivors ready? (Raises right arm. Switches to left arm) Go!

(First off is Starscream. He is not used to jumping, so he does a terrible job and lands with a SPLASH!)

Jeff: Starscream is OUT!

Starscream: (Coming out with fish nipping at his wings.) Out and ready to kill.

Jeff: Megatron goes next. (Megatron leaps over, with three sea bass stuck on him.) Good job! Next, Mirage. (Mirage gets four.) OK, good! Wheelie...

Wheelie: (To himself) I am the egg man, they are the egg men...(He squints his eyes shut, leaps over) I am the Waaaaaaalrusss! (He lands horrobly on the other side but gets no fish.) I think a no, I mean a yes, but it's all wrong. (Sighs.) Look at all the lonely people.

Jeff: Motormaster, you're next! (Motormaster falls in.) That was easy.

Motormaster: I need to be in truck form! (He emerged with a sea bass on his nose. He pulls it off.)

Jeff: Optimus, take it away! (Optimus Prime takes a wild leap, landing on the other side COVERED with fish.)

Megatron: Prime! You got the touch! (Helps him put the fish in the barrel.)

Optimus Prime: I got the power.

Starscream: Shut up!

Jeff: Next is Scrapper! (Scrapper falls in.) A lot of Decepticons having problems with this particular challenge. Shrapnel, you're doing it for Autobotopea. (Shrapnel, too, lands covered with fish.) Very good! (Shots of each barrel. It looks close.) Rumble, go ahead! (Rumble misses the mark.) OK, Grimlock, you're the last one. (Grimlock flies over, arms outstretched, yell loud. When he lands there is nothing uncovered. Autobotopea fills, then overflows, their barrel, outdoing the almost-full barrel of Decepticonniption.) Autobotopea wins immunity! (Jeff gestures to the G.I. Joe TM with K'ung Fu grip superglued to a stick. Grimlock gabs it and spins it like a drum major's mace.) OK, here's the big catch: Decepticonniption, you don't even go to tribal council. You decide, right here and now, who gets to go.

(Commercial Break. WU-TANG FINANCIAL HAS ALL OF YOUR LONG-TERM FINANCIAL PLANNING NEEDS READY AND AVAILABLE! DRINK SAM JACKSON BEER!)

Jeff: (To the camera) For those of you who have just joined us to watch "The Apprentice," you still have half an hour and you're on the wrong channel! (Cameras pan over to Decepticonniption, who are in a huddle. Violent arguing is occurring) Decepticonniption, have you decided who you want to vote off? (They nod.) Who is it?

Decepticonniption: Wheelie!

Jeff: Wheelie, the tribe has spoken.

Wheelie: (Sigh.) Take a sad song, and make it better. (Glares at Optimus.) Why tell me why did you not treat me right?

Optimus: Love has a nasty habit of disappearing overnight.

Jeff: Go ahead back to camp, we have another challenge tomorrow. Oh, guys? (They turn to look at him.) I had a new sponsor, not GE-I mean, not the nameless company, give you and Autobotopea new generators. These don't run on fire, they're gas-powered. Try to keep the fire, for appearance's sake. (They nod.)

DAY TWENTY

(Autobotopea is scattered. Mirage comes back with treemail.)

Mirage: "You may think you are out of the woods but you're not. This challenge will take everything that you got! The weight of the world, on your shoulders it's there, but being voted off will be the burden hardest to bear!" ANOTHER immunity challenge?

Starscream: Maybe we can get rid of Chicken Boo over there tonight! (He jerks a thumb over to Grimlock, who has the chicken on his lap and is singing softly to it.)

Motormaster: (Construction worker, buff is wrapped around wrist.) Starscream is getting on my nerves. If we lose this to fulfill his private desire to lose our strongest teammate, I'm PERSONALLY leading the campaign to get rid of him.

IMMUNITY CHALLENGE

Jeff: Welcome back already! I'll take that! (Jeff retrieves the immunity idol, G.I. Joe TM with K'ung Fu grip superglued to a stick.) So, Autobotopea, notice who's missing?

Motormaster: Wheelie!

Jeff: You're right. The former Autobotopea tribe is shrinking. (Realization dawns on both Mirage and Ironhide's faces at the same time. Optimus remains blank.) Welcome to your second immunity challenge. You are going to be weighed down! (Shots move to cranes holding weights overhead.) You will each have a platform to hold up. These platforms will start with a metric ton of lead, which you will hold for an hour. Next, we will be adding another metric ton. And so forth. The last survivor standing wins immunity for his team. Because your team numbers are even, you will not have anyone sitting out. Any questions? (There are none.) get your platforms hoisted up. Survivors ready? (Turns to crane operators.) Drop 'em!

(The metric ton takes out Rumble, Shrapnel, and Mirage immediately. After an hour, the other robots seem fine. A second ton is added. Starscream folds, dropping his platform but missing anyone's feet, in spite of his best efforts. Another hour passes.)

Jeff: Scrapper holding his own against the bigger robots! Drop another ton! (Ironhide is taken out. Another hour passes. Another ton goes on.Scrapper folds. Another hour later, another ton and Motormaster collapses.) Down to the bigwigs! Grimlock, Optimus Prime, and Megatron! Drop another ton! (Optimus buckles but does not drop. Megatron fizzles out after half an hour.) Down to one from each tribe, and they're starting to psych each other out!

Grimlock: YOU OPTIMUS PRIME WEAK! ME GRIMLOCK STRONG!

Optimus: You Grimlock forget I have The Autobot Matrix of Leadership! I have the strength of all the old leaders!

Grimlock: OLD IS KEY WORD! WHERE WAS MATRIX WHEN YOU OPTIMUS COULD NOT RAISE WASHINGTON MONUMENT! YOU NEEDED ME GRIMLOCK!

Optimus: I had it fine! I got shot by that incapacitating ray, that's all.

Grimlock: YOU OPTIMUS FULL OF EXCUSES!

Optimus: You're full of something, you half-built-(turns to face him, drops load onto sand.)

Jeff: Autobotopea wins immunity! (Grimlock does a victory roar, others run up and hug him. He's still holding the metal.) Grimlock, you can put the platform down. (He places it gently next to him.) Well, Decepticonniption, this time you DO have to go to tribal council. See you later.

Ironhide: (Country Musician, buff is wrapped around his neck.) Prahme has gone aginst ev'ry alliance he has mayde. Ahm done fer unless Ah git someone on my side.

Scrapper: (Truck Driver, buff is worn around his leg.) I had to align myself with Megatron. He promised me a spot in the final four, which is fine with me. The only question I have now is do we fry Ironhide or Prime first?

Ironhide: (Catching up to Scrapper.) Hey, Scrapper? Do ya got a minute?

Scrapper: Sure.

Ironhide: Ah want ya t' know that ya kin trust me complately. Ah want t' be on yer side.

Scrapper: Really?

Ironhide: Yeah. If we stick this together we could go father than whatever Megatron, who cares only about himself, can take us.

Scrapper: I am glad you told me this, it's a relief. I tell ya (lowers to subtitles) I don't trust Megatron at ALL. He promised Rumble a spot on the final two and has said NOTHING to me about it. I want to get him out of here the next chance I get. Does Prime feel the same way?

Ironhide: Ah think so. He wanted to git rid of Megatron yesterday, but he changed his mind when we voted off Wheelie.

Scrapper: See if you can get him to vote of Megatron with us. The three of us will definitely be able to get him out of here. (He holds out his hand. Ironhide shakes it. Ironhide runs to find Optimus.)

TRIBAL COUNCIL

Jeff: (As scary music plays.) Hi guys. (They sit.) You've lost four challenges in a row, guys. This has to be affecting morale just a little.

Optimus: It has, Jeff.

Ironhide: The rayne is no picnic, either.

Optimus: I was getting to that!

Megatron: Jeff, I have a question for you: At what point in time does this show literally "Jump the Shark"?

Jeff: Well, it depends on the person but most people voted for "Never Jumped."

Ironhide: Ah heard it was Season Two.

Rumble: I know a lot of people hated the Outcast twist.

Megatron: Personally, I hated Thailand: major Pagonging going on there.

Jeff: One hundred twenty-six people said "Never Jumped!" now go vote!

(More scary music. Megatron gets up and votes. Next is Optimus Prime. He votes for "Megatron.")

Optimus: This will come back to haunt me, but I am keeping my promise, my old friend. I still call you my old friend because although we've been fighting for the last few days, I know we're still friends. Besides, I saw what they did to you in the movie and you die a more brutal death. I owe you one.

Ironhide: (He votes for "Megatron") To end yore tyranny.

Jeff: (Others vote, but none are shown. Megatron is the last to go.) I'll go tally the votes. (Retrieves the container they put their votes in.) Once the votes are read, the decision is final. The mech voted out will be asked to leave the tribal council area immediately. I'll read the votes. First vote: "Megatron." (He looks amused.) Second vote: "Megatron." Third vote: "Ironhide". Two votes Megatron, one vote Ironhide. Fourth vote: "Ironhide." (He does NOT look amused.) Two votes apiece. The sixth survivor to be voted off: (Shows vote) "Ironhide". (Ironhide grabs his torch) Ironhide, the tribe has spoken. (Extinguishes his torch. They watch him leave.) I think some of you need to re-evaluate your strategy. Go on, there's more fun tomorrow.

(Music picks up)

NEXT WEEK ON SURVIVOR:

Is it time to merge yet? Is it time to merge yet? Is it time to merge yet? Is it time to merge yet? Is it time to merge yet? Is it time to merge yet? Is it time to merge yet?

Ironhide: (As credits roll) Weyell, Ah tried ma best, but Ah didn't play the right way. At least I got to do something pretty cool. Ah hope Prahme goes farther than Ah did.