Welcome to So Long Ago, The Fear I Dread
"When I was a kid my father was never around me much. In fact he probably hated me. He's dead now and it makes me happy. With all of the terrible things my father did he deserved to die. He shouldn't have done that to my mother. Especially right in front of my eyes. I hate my father, just knowing that part of him makes up half of me makes me hate myself." -Amon
Chapter 1: It's All Just A Stupid Memory
"Nagira," his father breathed.
"Yes?" he replied.
"Now, listen, Son. Things between your mother and I are very different and we can't be together any longer. …That is your mother and I."
The twelve year old stared up at his father. He didn't understand why his parents would split up. They seemed so happy together. But, the young Nagira was very wrong; this problem lay deep within his parents' already rocky relationship. They never loved each other. Nagira didn't know that.
"So, what will happen to me then?" Nagira asked.
"You will go off and live with your mother. Now, Nagira I promise to visit you every weekend."
"Where are you going, Dad?" Nagira questioned.
"I'm going to live with a friend of mine for quite some time. Be strong now, Nagira I do love you very much, I hope you do understand that."
"Yeah, I get it."
With a nod of the head Nagira's father walked out the door and out of his son's life for the next four years. Nagira's mother soon fell ill and died. His father came back and took the now sixteen year old to his home, which he shared with his new wife and his four-year-old son, Amon. Nagira sat quietly outside of the toddler's room. He listened as his father and Amon's mother talked about what to do.
A little boy with black hair and eyes the color of coal came out of the room. He clutched a small brown teddy bear with one hand and sucked his other thumb. The little Amon looked curiously at the teen. He held the small bear out to Nagira, whom was sitting lazily in a chair. He looked at the little boy for a moment.
"So, this is why Dad left mom and me? You're just a little kid. You wouldn't understand what was going on now would you?" Nagira asked the toddler.
Amon took his thumb put of his mouth and said, "Bear."
"Yeah, that's what it is all right. So, how old are you?"
Amon raised his hand and held up four fingers and chimed "Four!"
"Oh, so you're a big boy now aren't you?" Nagira teased.
Amon nodded energetically and laughed. He reached a tiny hand out to Nagira who took it in his. Amon yanked at it and led Nagira into his room. The room was filled with many colorful toys, a toddler's bed, and a dresser full of clothes. A little TV and VCR sat on a small bedside table. A rocking chair with a large assortment of pillows was in one corner of the room and a chair sat in front of the TV, Amon ran over to a play kitchen and put a fake plastic pot on the stove.
"EEEEEEEEEEEE!" he screeched to sound like the kettle.
Nagira took a seat on the ground and watched him. Amon poured the pretend tea into a plastic cup. He handed it to Nagira. Nagira took it.
"A play kitchen? I always thought that these sorts of toys were for girls. It's very strange to see a boy playing with one."
"No it's not," Amon said as a first full sentence to Nagira.
"Oh, so you do speak huh?"
"Yeah, but it's rude to speak when someone else is speaking. I see that no one ever taught you anything about manners."
"Hey! That's not a very polite thing to say at all."
"Well, when someone's rude to you I don't see why you should treat them with kindness. You speak out of turn all of the time and you say the stupidest stuff!"
"Oh, is that so? Then I'll just leave."
Amon ran to the front door and tried to open it.
"What are you doing now?" Nagira asked.
"I- ugh! I'm trying to show you- the- ugh- way out," Amon said carefully as he struggled with the doorknob.
"Well, for one thing you could try to unlock the door first," their father, said from behind Nagira.
They both turned around to face their father. Amon's mother came out from behind the taller man. She bent down and picked up her tiny little son. He began to play with her black hair and white gold hoop earrings.
"Amon, you be nice now. Nagira will be living with us for quite some time."
"What? Why? Why doesn't he just go home? He'll just hog everything. He's ugly too. I don't like him."
"Amon, don't be rude," his mother said to him.
"Oh fine! Just stay out of my room!"
Amon ran angrily back into his room and slammed the door behind him.
"What a brat," Nagira thought.
"Nagira, you can stay as long as you like. And, I'm sorry about your mother," Amon's mother stated.
"Thank you," he replied.
"I know that no one could ever replace your mother, but if you want I can try to be your mother now."
"Nah, I have enough of her in my memories. I guess that's the impression she left on me. But, don't you hate my mother and me? We were your husband's old family. How can you stand me?"
"My, my. Did you grow up hating? I didn't even know your mother, Nagira. I barely know you. How can I hate either of you? Plus, between you and me my husband is barely around I'm not sure why though."
"Right. I remember my mom fighting with him a lot about not being there."
"Hmm.. well it does make you wonder you know," Amon's mother stated sweetly.
Nagira grinned. He liked Amon's mother a lot.
Day turned into night and soon it was Amon's bedtime. Nagira peered through a crack left between the door and the wood frame of the toddler's room. He watched as the older woman picked up her small son and glided over to his bed. There she placed him under the covers and began to turn around.
"Mommy, will you sing me a song?" Amon asked politely before she turned the light out.
"Of course sweetie."
His mother began to sing a song. Her voiced sounded much like a bird singing it's beautiful song. The song was obviously one that she had made up herself.
Amon snuggled into his pillow and sighed a sigh of relief. The sound of the his mother's voice eased him into a world of sleep. By the time he was asleep the song had ended. His mother smiled down on him and she kissed him good night and turned out the light. She strode out of the room and met Nagira in the hallway.
They both said good night and then everyone in the house was sound asleep.
Amon stirred and his eyes opened. He got out of bed and made his way to the bathroom. The little boy let out his waste and when he was done he washed his hands and made his way back to his room. Amon began to climb back into bed and grabbed his teddy bear. Before he lay his head down he looked out of the window. He saw his mother and father standing outside. He stared at the window for a moment and then approached it bear in hand.
Their mouths moved and his mother looked worried and his father looked angry. Somehow Amon's ears weren't awake yet. They finally awakened when a gun shot was heard. His mother blood dripped down her shirt and she fell to the ground. Amon's eyes widened.
"Mommy!" he shrieked.
The little kid ran out into the yard and fell on his knees next to his mother.
His father watched the boy struggle. Amon shook his mother and shouted for her over and over again. His father broke into meticulous laughter. He laughed at his son. He raised the gun again and aimed at Amon. Amon sat there in fear.
"Father!" Nagira shouted.
Their father looked at Nagira and didn't care how he aimed, Amon's blood sputtered across the yard. Amon was shot in the shoulder and fainted from pain. Nagira watched their father run away from the crime scene and allowed Solomon to come by. Nagira realized that his half brother wasn't dead yet. Nagira took him and left before Solomon could take him away too. Nagira soon gave Amon and himself to an orphanage. Amon was a distant boy. He had seen his mother's death, his father tried to kill him. He was afraid to open up to anyone, even his own brother. For a long time Amon was picked on for his small size, until he grew to six foot four inches (I know it's metrics, but I'm not good at converting) when he turned fourteen. When he was five Nagira and himself were adopted by a young Japanese couple that couldn't have any children.
10 years later
"How's it going Amon? Don't you just love high school?" Nagira asked over the phone.
"No, I don't like it that much," Amon replied simply.
"Ok… Hey! I hear you were on the football team this fall. Who would have thought? You, Amon of all people, who would of thought?"
"Is it really that unexpected? So unexpected that you have to act like a complete idiot?"
"Right… Anyway now you're wrestling huh? You're quite the jock Amon."
"Do you have anything of value to say?"
"Well, it depends on what you mean by that. Amon? Amon? Damn, he hung up on me."
Nagira took a large gulp of his beer and threw away the can.
"What a jerk. I wonder if he has any leads yet."
Amon sat in a library looking up things on the computer. He was searching a place called Solomon.
Well, what did you think? Questions? You can give me comments as long as they're not flames. Well, have fun. Oh, and please keep in mind that this is before Amon started working for the STN-J. So, be patient please. It'll come up soon. As always RR and I beg of you NO FLAMES!