--------------------------

Unwanted

Moon Kitty 2005

February 13th, 2006

-------------------------

I had always been a klutz. From the day I was born to this very moment where I attempted to carry a stack of dirty porcelain plates to the kitchen, failing miserably as I tripped over my own two feet and sent them skittering across the floor, shattering into a million pieces.

I felt the customary stares and snickers, the traitorous blush stealing across my cheeks as I brushed off my knees to go retrieve the broom and dustpan, muttering the habitual, "I'm sorry.", to no one in particular.

I knew that it was wrong to think this, but every so often one lone thought ran across my mind, and managed to repeat itself over and over until it had become a daily mantra in my head.

I'm not good enough.

I know that if I ever voiced these thoughts, my friends would either threaten to hit me or they would yell at me. But still, it couldn't stop the thoughts from coming.

I was a natural-born worrier. And I had insecurities.

But one day, one certain person would help me with these insecurities. One person I had never expected to help, and it all began on a sunny day a few weeks ago.

---------------------------------

I pushed a lone strand of hair behind my ear as I walked casually down the street, book bag clutched in one hand while my other swung freely at my side. It was such a wonderful day out, I had decided to walk instead of ride my bike.

Little did I know that this day would hold a lot of emotions for me: sadness, anger, love, kindness, and exhaustion.

As I walked through the double doors of the café, the burst of cold air from the air conditioner hit me full in the face. The transition from warm to cold made my body disagree, and I felt goosebumps raise on my arms.

"Retasu!"

I turned to the source of the voice, smiling as I saw Ichigo running toward me. She looked overworked, as usual, and I couldn't help but think Minto was being just a tiny bit lazy. But then again, what else was new?

"Hey, Ichigo. What's wrong?"

Holding a hand to her chest, she smiled gratefully and tried to catch her breath. "Purin is breaking everything, Minto is sipping her tea and absolutely refuses to listen to me, Zakuro is working the cash register, but I'm the only one who is taking orders and waitressing. Can you help me instead of cleaning the kitchen and everything today?"

I smiled and nodded, giggling when I saw the look of relief flash across her features. "Just let me go change into my uniform, okay?"

"'Kay," she breathed, running off again to go take someone's order.

Opening the door to the changing room, I yelped in surprise as I ran into Keiichiro, to which I apologized profusely, blushing in embarrassment. Sometimes I wonder if I have a skin condition with all the blushing I do. He simply rested a hand on my shoulder, chuckling, and whispered, "You look cold. I'll go make you some hot chocolate."

"Thanks," I whispered back, nodding in appreciation from his kind gesture.

After I had changed, Keiichiro walked up to me and pressed the mug into my hands, and I smiled slightly as I chugged it down in one gulp. I gave the cup back, feeling the heat spread pleasantly through my stomach, and I hiccuped, blushing.

Keiichiro simply smiled and walked back into the kitchen to was it, saying, "You should go help Ichigo now."

Oh! I had almost forgotten about that. "Y-yeah," I stammered, quickly walking to the counter where Keiichiro put the orders when he was done cooking them. Suddenly feeling very self-conscious, I somehow managed to carry the plate to the table without tripping, slipping, or dropping the food. I was surprised (and I think I wasn't the only one, seeing as how I had multiple people staring at me), but I bowed slightly to the customer, giggling nervously as I muttered, "Enjoy your meal, sir."

The man smiled brightly, inclining his head a scant inch. "Thanks."

Smiling back with renewed confidence, I went back to the counter and noticed Keiichiro staring at me. Winking at him boldly, I laughed when he just blinked back, slightly incredulous.

My heart felt lighter than air as time wore on and I still hadn't messed up.

Everybody had gotten over their initial surprise. Ichigo simply smiled whenever our eyes met, Keiichiro winked at me occasionally, and Zakuro said nothing, but I knew she was proud of me.

Finally, as my shift was almost over and I had gone through the day without breaking a single plate, I only had one more order to deliver. However, when I turned, someone sitting in the table by the counter stuck out their foot, and, not able to avoid it, I fell and landed painfully on my elbows, the plate shattering into a million pieces.

"Hey!" I heard Ichigo shout in recognition, and I heard a group of footsteps run over to where I was.

I heard a scuffle, and a feminine voice cry, "What do you think you're doing?"

When I looked up, I was completely surprised when I came face-to-face with none other than Aya, one of the girls who had spent the first few months of my school year picking on me and using me as her scapegoat.

An insurmountable amount of rage passed over me and I rose to my feet, ignoring the throbbing pain in my arms as I glared at the now smirking girl. "What did you do that for?" I burst out in frustration, tears threatening to fall from my eyes. "Do you have to ruin every bit of happiness I have? All I ever wanted was to be your friend!"

The girl smiled and removed Ichigo's hand from her collar, walking over to where I stood. "My friend? Give me a break. I hate you. You're a freak. And everyone else here thinks so, too."

And with that hateful remark still lingering in the air, I could only recognize one thought run through my head. She's right.

Without hesitation, I ran from the café, not even bothering to change out of my uniform.

----------------------------------------

I curled up in a ball, tears falling off my cheeks as I huddled between my bed and the wall, my knees tucked to my chest. Inwardly, I knew I shouldn't have backed down like that, but... it hurt...

I jumped into the air as the doorbell rang, and I turned off my music box, keeping perfectly still. No one's home, no one's home, no one's-

The doorbell rang yet again and I stood up, sighing. I ran my hands under my eyes and straightened my sweater, fluffing my bangs a few times before walking to the door and placing a hesitant hand on the doorknob.

A pair of aquamarine eyes stared into my own. I gulped nervously. "Hi, Ryou."

"Can... can I come in?"

Was it just my imagination, or did I sense a slight amount of nervousness in his voice? I pulled the door open wider, beckoning for him to come in. I was proud of myself. I didn't even blush.

"Would you like some tea?" I offered, playing with my fingers nervously as I bit my lip. As he nodded, I walked to the kitchen, aware of him following me. He leaned on the counter and watched as I walked around the kitchen, boiling the water and setting out the grounds.

"You're good at that," he commented idly, looking around the kitchen. "You live alone?"

"My mom and dad are on a business trip, so that's why I'm no-"

He cut me off. "You were crying, weren't you?"

I looked up, startled, and giggled, blushing. "No, of course not. I just came home because I wasn't feeling very we-"

"You're lying. Ichigo told me everything. Besides that, your eyes are red." He smirked almost felinely and watched as I ran my hands over my eyes again. "You're a bad liar, Retasu."

"Is it that I'm a bad liar or you're just too perceptive?" I retorted back, pouring the grinds into the water, and gave myself a mental high-five as he looked surprised. I walked over to the cabinet to get the sugar and tensed as I felt him walk up behind me.

"What were you crying about? Was it because of what Aya said?"

I turned and blushed. Big mistake... my nose was pressed into his chest and I bit my lip, closing my eyes. A tingling began in the pit of my stomach and I couldn't resist inhaling his scent. He stepped backwards almost too soon, and I was surprised to see a tint of red on his cheeks.

"I-it wasn't really because of that..." I muttered, trying to get control of my heart. As I poured a small amount of sugar into both of the cups, I sighed and said, "It was more because of the fact that she helped me realize who I really am."

There was silence for a few moments as we sat at the table, sipping our tea quietly. "Who are you?" he whispered, looking over his cup at me.

"A failure... I can't seem to do anything right," I explain quietly as I stare into the depths of my tea. "I'm not good enough for the Mew Mews."

Ryou scoffed and stared at me. "You are not a failure. You think I would have picked you to be on the team if I thought that you weren't suitable for the job? You're kind, generous, courageous, and a fast thinker. We need you on the Mew Mews."

I blushed and spat back, "One of these days I'll make a wrong decision, I'll trip over something, and something bad will happen to everyone else because of me. I'll fail everyone when they were counting on me."

Ryou stood, placing his hands on the table and leaning forward to stare me in the eyes. "You'd really take the words of some bully over your own friends?" he asked angrily, his eyes blazing.

"She's not the only one who thinks them."

This stopped his rage and he seemed to calm, his eyes looking at me and growing sad. "Retasu, you're wanted. We want you. I do."

I gasped slightly and looked up, gazing into his eyes. There was a lot of feelings there, but they were hard to tell apart. There was one for certain, though. Caring. And that spoke volumes that he would even bother to come over to my house. He cared because I cried.

A question formed in my mind, but I decided not to ask it. I rose, taking his cup, and smiled down at him. "Thank you, Ryou."

He blushed and scratched the back of his head. "Anytime. Shall we go back to the café? Everyone's really worried about you."

I placed the cups in the sink and grabbed my uniform, carrying it in my arms as I shut the door behind us. We walked together to the café, sharing secret glances.

I knew it was best not to ask that question. Eventually, I knew it would be answered. And I would stick around and wait for it. I would wait forever for him. I would stick around.

I knew... I knew that I was wanted.

He wanted me to be around.

So I would wait for his answer. I'm sure he already knew the question. I just needed to wait. But I would wait forever for him.

My dense and incredibly cute boss...

... Shirogane Ryou.

------------------------------------------

Authoress Notes

Okay, I got it finished. I actually only had to copy and paste it from my MSN account... but I accidentally replaced it. (O.O) So I had to completely rewrite it... at least I had a little bit left in my notebook. But anyways, now that I've finished it, I hope people don't hate it too much.