Disclaimer: Ron Moore said I could play with them. Honest!

Spoilers: Season 2. Sacrifice.

Pairing: Lee/Kara, Lee/Dee

Because of Me

Oh my gods. Kara thought to herself. She was sitting on a bench outside the Cloud 9 lounge after having blown her mission to rescue the hostages. I shot Lee. How could that have happened? How did he get in front of me? Why didn't I see him? Gods, he went down so fast and he didn't get back up. He didn't get back up.

She let her head fall back until it hit the wall behind her and closed her eyes.

Lords of Kobol, please hear my prayer. Please let Lee Adama live. Not for me, lords. I have so much guilt to live with, a little more won't kill me, but for his father. Please let Lee live for his father. William Adama is a good man, lords. He shouldn't have the pain of losing his last living son.

Because of me. He lost his youngest son because of me and now Lee.

A sob racked her body. No! Not Lee, please.

I have quite a track record with the Adama boys, don't I?

Losing Zack almost killed me. Lee pulled me through it. I get my ass thrown in hack on a regular basis, Lee gets me out of it. I frequently disobey orders for my own selfish reasons and he defends me. I frak other guys and practically throw them in his face but he sticks around. He gets mad at me, sure, but he's always there.

What would you do without him? No. I won't even think about that. He was alive when I left. Admiral Adama will be here soon to put an end to this and then I'll see him and he'll be fine. He'll be pissed as hell, but he'll be fine.

No he won't . You saw him get hit. You saw him go down. And he saw you. I'll never forget the look in his eyes. Disbelief, shock, hurt. And concern. He looked back to make sure I got out all right.

"Oh, Lee." She sobbed again.

Just then a group of marines walked past pushing a gurney with what could only be a body, covered in a tarp. Though she was curious, she had more important concerns. She stood up as Adama passed.

"Admiral, let me help. Please."

"Let me take it from here." He said, placing a hand on her arm. She wanted to insist, no, beg for him to let her go but she couldn't. She couldn't be selfish about this.

Isn't he mad at me? Please yell at me, confirm that I'm a screw up. Oh, Lee. Please be ok.

Later, when they were back on Galactica, Kara went down to sick bay to sit with Lee, to apologize, but someone was already there.

Dee.

Dee was with Lee on Cloud 9. Dee followed Lee out of the bar when the medics were wheeling him out on the stretcher, and she was crying, holding his hand.

Like she is now. And he's holding hers.

Lee is with her?

Sure he is. Did you think he'd wait around for you to get over Anders? Did you think he'd settle for being a quick lay? A frak buddy? That's what you wanted, isn't it? But he's not that type.

Of course Dee is everything you're not. She's soft and feminine, sweet and supportive, warm and caring. She doesn't give him shit. Doesn't play head games. Doesn't sleep around with other guys when all she really wants is him. His job is complicated and dangerous, he doesn't need to come home to someone who is complicated and dangerous. Like you.

She didn't dare interfere. Lee needed Dee to be there. Not her. He needed comfort. Not her sniveling, pathetic attempt at an apology.

I'm sorry, Lee. Please believe me. I never meant to hurt you. I love you but you'll never hear me say it. I'm too afraid I'll let you down - again.