Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

(New audience comes in and wipes the pink dust off their seats that smell strangely of strawberries)

Voldemort: Welcome audience #2. Next we have Michael Jackson

(Michael Jackson takes a seat on the stage)

Voldemort: How do you feel about tormenting little children on our "squad".

Michael Jackson: Children are like corn. I love corn.

Voldemort: Perfect. How do feel about—

Michael Jackson: Children are like eggs. They're all different colors on the outside, but they're all mmmm on the inside.

Voldemort: (calls for Draco) Draco!

Draco: (interrupted from a game of strip poker) What, master?

Voldemort: Come here.

Draco: (lost his shirt and pants) Awww, and I was winning too.

Voldemort: Show me your methods on this young man. Not what you're used too, but still a youth.

Draco: (frantically) M-master, what's going on?

(Michael Jackson is advancing)

Draco: Mother…MOM!

(Narcissa runs to Draco's aid and beats the crap out of Michael Jackson)

Narcissa: Nobody molests my son! I'm suing you for kazillion gillion drillion quillion sazillion xzyillion nillion lajillion gazillion dollars.

Voldemort: Look what you did Narcissa! Now our most potential person is going jail thanks to you!

Narcissa: Well I'm sorry, you just don't rape my son, it's unacceptable behavior.

Voldemort: (mumbles) It's not like he's so innocent himself.

Narcissa: (gasps) Yes he is!

Voldemort: For God's sake Sissi, he's married to a spoon!

Draco: Hey! I'm deeply in love with Sophia! And she loves me too.

Fenrir: She doesn't love you, man. She's just using you.

Draco: No she's not.

Fenrir: You gotta listen. She—ran—away—with—the—dish. They eloped. She's cheating on you!

Draco: Well…you know why she wanted me? Because I have a huge one. His name is Jerry.

Fenrir: Please, don't flatter yourself. It's not that big, I've seen it.

Draco: Don't talk about Jerry like that! My dictator is way bigger than your dictator.

Fenrir: Don't you mean—.

Draco: (calls to someone) Jerry!

(Jerry Springer comes out on stage and all of a sudden Voldemort's show become the Jerry Springer Show)

Audience: Jerry! Jerry!

Jerry Springer: Welcome to the Jerry Springer Show.

A/N: I know this chapter was short. Sorry! And also, I can only update on weekends now because I'm starting to get homework.

The following quotes from reviewers will be in the next chapter because I couldn't figure out where to put them in here.

Miaega--
"My hands! I can't get them off my wrists! Oh, God!"

GerardWay'sFanClub--

"I'm not competitive! In fact, I'm the most non-competitive so I win."

crzyangelchic--

"THE BRIDGE IS OUT".

With much awesomeness,

-Ria