The Unimaginable

Ch. 2: The Odder and the Oddest

Rachel, Estee, Corinne, Maria, and Emma were in class when the teacher held out a paper with a large red A on it. "Who wants an A?" she asked.

"We do," everyone said in chorus.

"First, you have to take over the world! Second, you have to do my evil bidding!"

The Next Afternoon

Erik was watching his new wide screen TV that he had to Punjab someone for.

Flashback

Erik ran into Circuit City and asked a guy in the TV section, "which is the best TV?"

"I guess it would be the wide screen…" He was cut off mid sentence when Erik threw a lasso around his neck and choked him to death (actually he died of laughing, but that's beside the point!). Then Erik grabbed the TV and left. He tied it to his mule and rode home to his lair.

End Flashback

He was watching Spongebob Squarepants when news flashed across his screen. It said:

"NEWS FLASH! We interrupt this program to bring you…" Then they showed Rachel on top of the Empire State Building (except it was moved to France with a crane) wearing a crown and a cape. "Mwahhahahaha!" she laughed evilly. "I interrupt this evil laugh to say, Mrs. Church, Do I get an A now?" Then out of nowhere Estee ran came out with a shiny (lemon scented) spoon in hand.

"Spooooooooooooooooooon!" she cried. Then she bumped into Rachel where they fell to their deaths except for Estee because she landed on Rachel using her as a cushion.

Back to Erik…

Then Erik heard a knocking on his door (except it was Estee using her head). He opened the door to find Estee, spoon in hand, screaming, "Spooooooooooooooooooon!" Then she knocked Erik out. Five hours later Erik woke up. He noticed his TV and mule were gone. Suddenly he was in tears over his lost TV.

Now to the REAL Erik…

Erik walked into his lair (house), groceries in arm, to see a Phantom of the Opera convention going on. "Hey!" someone yelled, "There's the real Erik! Let's run him over trying to get his autograph!" So they did…not really. Here's the real story.

Erik walked into his lair (house), groceries in arm, to see a fake phantom mourning over his lost TV. "What are you crying about?"

"Estee stole my TV!"

"Huh…WHERE'S MY MULE!" Erik screamed in a rage once he realized his mule was missing.

"I think Estee took that too," fake Erik wailed.

"Damn you, Estee! Sorry for my language. What I meant was…no that's what I meant." –laughing from audience in background- Erik pushed the fake Erik out of his lair. He sat down on a crimson colored chair when there was a knock at the door. Erik opened it up to see Maria with a pizza and a fake beard (instead of a mustache).

"Who ordered the half masked special?"

"That was me," the director, Christine (this time it's Christine because Rachel is in the hospital getting her limbs sewed back on), said. She ran and took the pizza and then went back to her chair. Erik pulled a lever and Maria fell into a pit of ravenous (Estee: What does that mean?...Rachel: Look it up because I don't know!...Estee:

pulls out dictionary and looks it up-) alligators. She was instantly killed and eaten (actually she left on beak so we made the screen black and white and gave the water a hint of Hershey's chocolate syrup).

"I should white wash the pit. It's a little red," Erik said (as the screen went back to color and the camera faced him). He sat back down when there was another knock.

"What do you want?" he snarled as he opened the door to Corinne. (She was wearing a black dress because she just came from someone's funeral. We're not quite sure whose funeral it was. Rachel, Estee, Emma, and Maria belive it was her own funeral considering she is dead.)

"I just wanted to thank you for getting rid of my Baba the clown prooooblemmmmsssssss." Erik pulled the lever as Corinne finished her sentence. She fell into an empty alligator pit. "What happened to the alligators?" she called.

"They're on break!" Erik called back. Then he sat down in his chair only to be disturbed, again, by someone knocking on the door.

"Hey, Erik! Which way is the Fairy Convention?"

"Keep following the underground waterway eats until you reach a staircase. Go to the right and you'll see a ladder. Climb up the ladder and push up the floorboards. You should enter the convention there," Erik replied sounding annoyed.

"Thanks!" Emma started walking in the direction Erik said when she walked over a bunch of leaves and fell into a deep pit.

"Watch out for the leaves! Go around it!" But it was too late. Emma fell and landed in the Alligator Diner. She landed in a hot dog bun and was fed to Henry who was a vegetarian, but now he eats meat. (Actually she landed on stage where she had to tap dance away without being eaten.)

Then Erik sat down in his chair and saw that his widescreen TV had been returned except it had a spoon shaped dent in it. "ESTEE!" Erik cried in anger. Then he turned it on to see a news flash flash across his screen. It said:

"IMPORTANT NEWS FLASH! We interrupt this program to bring you the fact that there is a spoon maniac running loose through the sewers of France. We have heard from anonymous people…cough Rachel, Maria, Emma, and Corinne cough…that her name is…well we won't tell you…cough Estee cough… That is all."

Then the TV station went back to the end credits of Spongebob Squarepants. Erik fell asleep to MTV playing songs from the 2005 movie Phantom of the Opera. (Note: Rachel, Estee, Corinne, & Maria have all seen the movie and loved it so watch it or be pun jabbed by Erik!)

(G)RRRRRrrrrrRRRRR

Little Phantomette: Please Review or I will cry and Erik will Punjab lasso you! Thanks!