Hallo my lovely readers! You guys are so patient with me, it's cool. But it's well rewarded too. Cause here's chapter 4! Hopefully this will keep going quickly.

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To Learn to Live

Chapter Four: Revelations of BR61-661

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Deep within the emerald Martian night, Ray McCoy found no rest for his mind.

It had been over a month since he'd left Terra with Clovis and his "family" on the moonbus. When they took off, he still wasn't sure if he was whom Clovis said he was. He was surprised to find that he really didn't care. He was quite comfortable with this new family, knowing how it felt to be hunted.

That was weeks ago. Last night, he found out who he really was.

A human among replicants.

He didn't know exactly why he picked up that particular book from Clovis' study. He had never been a big fan of poetry, and it seems that was the reason the picture had been hidden there. The picture of the moonbus. Not the one with him in it, that one was back in his room on his nightstand. No, this was the original, undoctored version. Just Clovis, Sadik, the moonbus and that panel that had no reflection of the former Blade Runner.

Now all Ray had were a lot of unanswered questions—and a bottle that he'd been pouring steadily out of for about an hour. The liquor burned his throat, but the betrayal in his gut burned even harder.

Why? Why did they lie to him? Why was he still alive? Surely, Clovis and Lucy didn't completely forget that he'd killed two members of their "family", Dektora and Zuben. He screwed his eyes shut in misery and let the amber comfort flow into the glass.

"Ray? Where are you?"

Lucy's timid voice echoed through the hall. Ray raised his head a little and rubbed a hand over his face. A part of him really didn't want her to see him like this. She wouldn't have all the answers, but he needed to talk to someone. "In the kitchen Lucy," he called a little thickly.

He heard her little footsteps coming down the hall as she hurried to him. She entered, her lithe little body covered in pink cotton pajamas. He watched the confusion in her face bloom as she took in what she saw. Ray could only imagine what he must look like: unshaven, bedraggled, and probably shitty as hell.

"Ray? It's so late. Are you okay?" she asked pulling out a chair to sit facing him. He looked across the table at her with bleary, sleepless eyes.

"Why the hell do you care so much about me?" he asked. Lucy stared at him, trying to figure out why he was so upset, and why he sounded so strange.

"'Cause," she shrugged as if it were so easy to answer, "You're so nice to me, and you saved us from the other hunter. You're my best friend Ray," she added, reaching out to hold his hand. He jerked it away as if it was red hot, and looked away from her.

"I'm not what you think Lucy. I don't even belong here." Thus saying, he took out the photo and tossed it to her. "I'm human Lucy. I was a hunter. I killed your family, Dektora and Zuben," he admitted, the alcohol making the words tumble out easily. He picked up the bottle and waited for her to fly at him, enraged and broken-hearted.

It never came.

He almost jumped out of his chair when her warm little hand closed over his and pushed the bottle back onto the table. She sat in his lap, innocently cuddling him like a small child.

"Father told me. I know all that Ray," she told him, resting her head on his shoulder. He shook off his initial shock and grasped her shoulders, pulling her away so he could look at her.

"How can you know all that and still feel the way you do? How can you forgive me of that? Didn't you care about them?" he asked desperately. He watched her eyes grow glossy with tears and sobered instantly.

"Of course I cared. I miss them so much. But Father says that Luther and Lance might be able to revive them when they finish," she answered. Hope in her hazel eyes made them sparkle a little. "But even if they can't, then I'll still have Father. And you too." The quelled tears grew large and one leaked unchecked down her fair cheek.

Ray felt his own tears prickling in his eyes and reached for her face, gently brushing the droplet away. Letting his hand linger there, he looked deeply into her eyes. The pure gold swirled with that iridescent green warmed him from the inside, making some of the pain of the last two days go away. Without the severe make-up she used to favor, she looked fresh and lovely. He shook his head gently, his mind clearing up by and by.

"I can't replace them Lucy."

"I know," she whispered, leaning her cheek further into his hand.

"I'm not sure…if I even belong here."

She gazed into his eyes, trying to keep her sadness in check until she said what she needed to. "Please, Ray. Don't leave us. I know you're not like us…but I want you to stay here. We finally have our beautiful planet, with flowers and lakes. Please stay," she entreated her eyes liquid jewels of green and gold.

Ray felt his heart lurch and he gently circled his arms around her waist. She held him tightly back, warm tears falling onto his neck. He brushed his rough cheek against her silky pink hair. He knew he had done nothing in his whole life to deserve this sweet girl. Not a day went by when she didn't tell him she loved him, when she didn't tenderly kiss his cheek with a smile. She was proof that replicants possessed real emotion and empathy.

Normally, he would've cursed himself for feeling this way about a girl as young as she was. Nevertheless, she had grown up so quickly after they'd left Terra and soon he found he didn't know how he couldn't.

Slowly, he drew her away from their embrace and looked into her face. Her tears had stopped, but they were still wet and shining. "I don't know if your father knows that I know who I am. I need to talk to him first. Okay?" he asked, stroking the soft skin along her jaw. She nodded fiercely and sniffed back another wave of tears.

"If you…decide not to stay…you won't go without saying goodbye, will you?" she asked, her voice quavering at the thought of him leaving.

He shook his head and pulled her to him again. "I promise I won't go without seeing you first. I won't just leave you," he vowed, tightening his arms around her. She snuggled her head into his bristly neck and kissed it tenderly.

"I love you Ray," she whispered.

The skin of his neck where her lips had kissed tingled under the caress of her warm breath. He pulled in a deep breath of her soft shampooed hair and ran his fingers through it.

"I love you too Lucy."

Lucy sighed happily and squeezed him hard. He coughed out a laugh, surprised at her strength. She giggled a little and released him, planting a kiss on his forehead. He smiled his first smile in two days and returned it, placing it on top of her hair. She laid her head beneath his chin and sat contently with him. Then her eyes fell on the bottle on the table.

"Ray?"

"Hm?"

"Who's 'Jack Daniels'?"

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"Brother?"

Ray looked up from where he sat on his bed to see Clovis standing in his doorway, his normally expressionless look on his face. He wasn't quite as depressed after his talk with Lucy last night, but he was still pretty upset with the fact that he'd been lied to.

"Don't call me that," he muttered grimly. Clovis smiled coolly.

"Do you still doubt who you are?" he asked, approaching him. Ray glared at him.

"No. I know who I am," he answered, pulling out the tattered photograph. He handed it to Clovis who took it and stared at it for a long time. Ray thought he'd burn a hole right through it. Finally, he let out a sigh and sat in a chair next to the bed.

"I didn't think you to be the type to peruse books of verse," he said solemnly.

"I'm not" Ray replied, feeling new resentment forming in him. "But I did, and there it is."

Clovis nodded and flicked the edge of the photo against his tapered fingertips. "I suppose I owe you an explanation…and an apology."

"Screw the apology; I just want to know why. Why did you try to make me think I wasn't human? Just tell me," Ray demanded, the look in his eyes saying he would not be refused.

Clovis stared at him with those dark eyes. Somehow, he knew this farce couldn't last forever. He had convinced this man to leave the only home he'd known. He owed him this much.

"When we arrived on Terra, all we wanted was to extend our short time we'd been given and try to make a good life for ourselves while we did. However, you and your fellow hunters wanted to destroy all that. After Sadik lost Tamya, he wanted to level the entire police station. Overkill enthusiast that he is; He wanted to send a message. I had seen so much hate, on and off that planet; I was almost convinced that it would indeed be a sweet revenge. Moreover, I wouldn't have stopped there. There was that little man, Emil Runciter. I would have found it quite gratifying to blow his miserable soul to hell."

Ray snorted a laugh. "So why didn't you? No one would've blamed you. That guy was a dick."

Clovis smiled darkly. "You can kill a man, but then that's all for him. But make him watch you take away the thing he loves most, and then you begin to cause real pain."

"Well, looks like I went about it all wrong then," Ray shrugged. Clovis stared at him, confused. "What? Don't you know a confession when you hear it? Guzza wasn't the only bastard the world needed to be rid of."

Clovis was taken aback for a moment. Then he relaxed inwardly, relieved that this man, also a killer wouldn't judge him for his doings. But then, Ray hadn't lied to him as he had so cavalierly done. "I believe we're getting off topic now," he reminded him.

"Right. So go on, what changed?" Ray insisted.

Clovis opened his mouth to answer, but his attention was diverted to the window. A glimmer of a faraway transport appeared on the morning horizon of the red planet. A new day was bringing new life to this planet. Looking out there reminded him of what had changed; it had all started when he'd gazed out of a different window not too long ago.

"Someone showed kindness to my Lucy. She was lost in the night and far from home. But a huntress, of all people, rescued her and brought her home to us."

"'Huntress'…a Blade Runner?"

"Yes," answered Clovis, his voice sounding far off somewhere.

Ray racked his brain. No way in hell would it have been Steele. Then he wondered…if it could have been…

The creak of the chair broke his train of thought as Clovis shifted forward, resting his hands on his knees. "It was then that I found that not all humanity is filled with hatred. It became my intention not to kill a Blade Runner, but to sway him, to let him see how it felt to be hunted and wonder who he was."

Ray nodded. "So you picked me. Why?"

Clovis looked at him, dark eyes for the first time showing a twinge of guilt. "I must apologize for this, but I preyed on your inexperience. I wanted to see if your loyalty ran as deeply as I thought. To do the right thing, rather than the lawful thing. But I never intended to grow so used to the thought of you in our family."

"Speaking of family," Ray interrupted, "What about Zuben and Dektora? I killed them remember? Didn't they count?" he asked, at a loss.

Darkness spread over Clovis' brow as he remembered his brother and beautiful lover. Dektora, sensuous, elegant Dektora..."Yes, they mattered. And when they died, I did want you dead. But I'm a stubborn man McCoy. And I see all things through to the end."

Thank God for that, Ray thought with relief. "Lucy says that the Twins might be able to revive them."

Clovis nodded solemnly. "Yes, it's possible. But if not… well life, in a sense, goes on." He stopped speaking, having told him all he wanted to know. He didn't look at Ray. Neither did Ray look at him, but just sat staring at his hands. "Do you hate us Ray McCoy?"

The question didn't shock him, but Ray found it difficult to form a solid answer. They had lied to him, taken him from his home. But they'd also treated him as no less than family, despite the things he'd done. "That depends. You gonna kill me now that I know the truth?" he asked, not fearing the answer either way.

At last, Clovis looked at him, his eyes for once not piercing. "I won't lie to you. It's crossed my mind a few times. But, my precious Lucy loves you. I would be killing her if I did."

Lucy. Ray sat back, a faraway look in his eyes. She was his saving grace. His angel, and he figured his soul was pretty much damned if he hated her. She'd known the truth also, and he loved her with his whole heart. Besides, he had nowhere else to go, and nothing left but this family.

"Well, in a way you did save my ass back on Terra. Guess it'd seem pretty ungrateful if I just up and left. But you can bet I'm pretty pissed at you, pal."

"No doubt. I wouldn't expect any less," Clovis answered, his voice very low.

Ray suddenly grinned. "What was it you said, 'When angry, tell your friend and wrath will end'?"

Clovis' normally placid face cringed, running a hand through his spiky black hair. "No, no, no. What are you doing?" he groaned.

"What? You quote that stuff all the time."

"At least I do it correctly. That was butchery Ray McCoy," he reprimanded, his eyes very hard.

"Ooh, sorry there teach'. Didn't mean to butcher the bard," he joked, finally feeling a little peace after all that had happened. The two of them stared at each other for a moment; Human eyes of green and replicant eyes like black holes.

Finally, Clovis smiled in his casual way and went to the door. "And don't do it again," he warned, pointing a finger at Ray before he left the room.

Ray might never admit it to anyone, but he knew he was going to miss being called "brother."

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As the heavy transport neared the landing docks, June's aqua eyes darted around the dusty sculpted landscape of the red planet through the square port windows. Orangey-red powder belched up and floated around the transport as they landed. She had to get out of this transport and dust cloud. She had to see what she'd gotten into.

Almost immediately after the airlock hissed open, June was up on her feet. She wasn't fast enough though; a line of passengers had already assembled near the door. She frowned, a little disappointed that she would not be the first outside. Then, she realized how selfish it was to think that, and how much more these others deserved to be here. She had only been on the run for a week; they had been oppressed since their inception.

Finally, she reached the front of the line. Before she stepped out, an attendant handed her a small cloth. She stared at it quizzically. "The air is very dusty out here, so you might want to keep that handy until we reach the city," he told her.

"Right, thanks," June answered, pressing the cloth over her mouth and nose. As she stepped out, the light of the sun pressed into her eyes. She shielded them, recovering slowly after being in a dimly lit transport for a day. The air was thick and warm, unseasonable for December, but then again, she was on a different world. Finally, her sight strengthened and she uncovered here eyes, looking about.

It was more than she could've imagined.

They'd landed on the outskirts of a vast, glittering city. The air around it was clean looking and free of the black plumes of smoke she was used to. Surrounding the metropolis was not billions of tons of radioactive kipple, but natural mountainous beauty. The earth was dusted with a fine red powder, but as a random wind blew it aside, June could see that the ground was covered in geometric patterns of broad, leafy lichen in greens, golds and browns. Large cushions of soft, verdant plant life grew all over, and various patches of the lichen and moss were topped with alien but lovely flowers, some tall with nodding bluish-white heads, others squat with star-like red and violet blooms. Haunting, twisted trees stretched for the green sky with their gnarled arms.

She turned to the opposite horizon and found it was sculpted, natural and endless. Here and there, large pristine lakes of a nearly unnatural scintillating jade green undulated with the breezes. Above her was a sky of the same color with the artificial, sun-magnifying atmosphere shimmering beyond it. The faraway mountains were bulky red formations, streaked with lichen and crowned with wispy peach clouds. All around her was unspoiled beauty, much like a desert in full bloom, and it brought a tear to June's oceanic eyes.

One of the green lakes to her right shifted from beneath the surface. All of a sudden, something silver, sparkling and snake-like leapt up from the water. June gasped as the strange creature flipped its yard-long tapered tail around, its tadpole-like fin at the end flinging beads of water into the air. Its bulbous head lead, snout first, into the lake and she let free an amazed breath.

"What was that?" she asked aloud. The attendant who had given her the cloth came up next to her.

"That was a sylphoid, a product of the genetics department at Germaine-Buckley University. Some endangered Terran animals were shipped here, but a lot of them started to get sick from the climate and food supply. A few died. Scientists over there have been working at cross breeding different Terran species to create hybrids that can survive in this environment," he explained, as if reading from a pamphlet. "That's a success over there."

June had nearly stopped listening after "university," but one other dazed whisper was able to escape before her brain started cooking again: "They have animals…"

A rattling set of tramcars jostled its way up to the landing docks, drawing the attention of the Terran immigrants. June walked blindly towards it, glancing back many times to the lake housing the aquatic serpentine creature. A beatific smile spread across her lips as she took in just what was happening and what she'd seen. There was life on this planet. Life that didn't just exist stagnantly, but lived and grew. And just a few minutes away lay a big, beautiful city full of opportunity. As the tramcar began bustling towards the city, she glanced down and patted the pouch on her hip.

"Germaine-Buckley University," she mused. Suddenly, she looked down at what she was wearing and crinkled her nose. These clothes might have been good for Spencer, but on her body, they looked baggy and masculine. "First things first, 'can't get a good job if you're dressed like a slob.'" She smiled to herself, remembering the cheesy rhyme an old roommate had told her back at Androtech. Cheesy or not, it was true. She needed some good clothes unless she planned to work odd jobs. And Doctor June Joleson wasn't about to support her destiny on odd jobs.

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Okay, there you are! Chapter four, over and done. Chapter five will be coming along very quickly. I'd appreciate your thoughts, comments, etc. REVIEW PLEASE!