The Unimaginable

Chapter 4: Family Shows Aren't For Kids Under 11 Years Old

So I gave Erik a birthday gift. I gave him The Sims and do you want to know what he did? He made himself with a perfect face, which he named Erik, he made Raoul, which he named Fop, and he made Christine, which he named Christine. In The Sims Erik and Christine got married. Then Erik killed fop and accidentally killed Christine when he put her in the bathroom and the door became a wall. He didn't find out how to get another door until too late.

"Now I've lost Christine twice!" Erik moaned as he sat at his computer. He smashed his computer when he saw Rachel and Maria walk in. "Erik, will you please tie yourself to that train track?" Rachel asked pointing to a train track in his lair.

"How did those get there?"

"I put them there," answered Maria. "Now, tie yourself to them!"

"No I will not," Erik said as he tried to raise his arms, but found that they were tied down. He looked down to see himself tied to a train track. Suddenly there were lights and a train whistle. Erik looked up to see a train coming towards him.

"Erik," Emma called from the train's driver seat, "can I run you over with this train?"

"NO!" Erik yelled as the train pulled to a stop two inches away from Erik.

"Oh, man!" Emma called walking over to Erik and untying him. Erik stood up just as Darth Vater walked in.

"I am going to kill Rachel now!" He yelled facing Rachel and making his light saver come out.

"Not on my watch!" Maria called jumping in front of Darth Vater and throwing him across the lair. "Since when did you get a watch?" Corinne asked from her position at the camera.

"Since Christmas," Maria said.

"Can I kill Darth Vater, Maria?" Erik asked batting his eye lashes. (Erik: I would never do that! …;… Rachel: I know, but in my story you do so do it! …;… Erik: Yes, mam. -bats eye lashes- …;… Rachel: That's better. Now back to the story!)

"Sure. You can use your Punjab lasso," Maria replied. So that's how the fight began. Erik stood on one side of the lair with his Punjab lasso and Darth Vater stood on the other side of the lair with his light saver. "Wait!" Estee screeched running to Erik and taking his lasso. Then she gave him a wooden spoon. Estee then ran to Darth Vater and took his light saver and instead gave him a chain saw. "There," Estee said walking over and standing next to Corinne.

"I can't hold this thing," Darth Vater called.

"I'll take that then," Erik said walking over and taking it from him. Then he smirked and turned it on. Suddenly Corinne shrieked and the camera fell on its side just as blood splattered on the screen. Suddenly everyone heard a purple dinosaur, coughBarneycough come in and say, "Hi ya, folks! Prepare for the worst beating of your life!" The people watching this family show, coughyoucough, saw running feet, heard screaming, cursing, and yelling, and saw more blood splatter onto the screen. Suddenly the screen turned green and Emma's voice came on saying, "We interrupt this program due to technical difficulties…"

"And violence!" Maria's voice in the background called.

"…and violence," Emma added. Suddenly the show turned to black screen with a spot light. A spoon with a woman face came on and said in Estee's voice, "Hello, I'm Mrs. Spoon. I hope you enjoy this family show commercial. Thank you for watching." Then another spoon with a man's face on it comes on and attacks the lady spoon. Suddenly the screen turned green and Emma's voice came on saying, "We interrupt this program due to technical difficulties…"

"And violence!" Maria's voice in the background called.

"…and violence," Emma added. Then the screen turned to Rachel at a magic show. The magician pulled a rabbit out of the hat and it started doing the bunny hop. Then Voldemort and Harry Potter started doing the bunny hop with the rabbit while singing, "The bunny hop hop hop…the bunny hop hop hop…"

"Wait," Rachel interrupted, "aren't you guys supposed to be doing your movie slash book script crap?"

"Oh yea," Voldemort said. Suddenly he and Harry jumped apart and pulled out their wands. "Prepare to die, Potter!"

"Not till you die, you-know-who!"

"I'm not you-know-who!"

"You are too!"

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

"No, I'm Voldemort!"

"Ah! You said you-know-who's name! That name, it burns!"

"Stupid script?"

"Stupid script."

"Wanna go get some Starbucks coffee?"

"Sure." Then Harry and Voldemort walked off talking about how J.K Rowling made Voldemort seem like such a bad guy when he was really one of the nicest people you could ever meet.

"Rachel?"

"Yea, Maria?"

"Why are Harry Potter, Voldemort, Barney, and Darth Vater all in a Phantom of the Opera story?

"Well, you see I have to update all of my stories so I thought, 'Why don't I just throw them all into one story? So I did."

"How?"

"I used a blender."

"A…a blender!"

"Watch." Then Rachel pulled out a blender, Harry Potter stuff (books, movie, and sound track), and Phantom of the Opera stuff (books, movie, and sound track). Then Rachel put the Hp stuff and POTO stuff into the blender. Next she pulled out a new cd player and said, "Look at this new, perfectly untouched cd player. Wouldn't want to ruin it would you? Into the blender!" Then Rachel shoved it into the blender and turned it on and then off. "Oops. I forgot to put the cover on!" Rachel cried. Then she put the cover on and blended the things in the blender. When it was a liquid Rachel took off the cover and poured it into two cups.

"Cheers!" Maria shouted as both she and Rachel drank the liquid. THE END…till next chapter…Mwahahahahahahhahahahaha..!

This chapter was sponsered by Ross' Chainsaw Sevices. Did you like my story? I hope you liked it. Any suggestions or advice? No? Good. Please R&R! Thanks. Bye!

PS. Ross' Chainsaw Services can be contacted by calling 1-888-000-0000. (Do not call this number. It does not exist nor does Ross' Chainsaw Services. But this service may exist sometime in the future. Thank you.)