What if Harry Had Said
2
A/N: This is a series of excerpts from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Same drill as last time. Thanks to everyone that is reading.
This excerpt begins on page 22. It is set just after Harry has told Ron and the twins about Dobby.
"Can you think of anyone at school with a grudge against you?"
"Yes." said Harry and Ron together, instantly.
"Draco Malfoy." Harry explained. "He hates me."
"Draco Malfoy?" said George, turning around. "Not Lucius Malfoy's son?"
Harry replied smirking, "How many people could have that stupid ass name?"
This excerpt begins on page 52. It is set after the Malfoys enter Borgin and Burkes.
"I would have thought you'd be ashamed that a girl of no wizard family beat you in every exam." snapped Mr. Malfoy.
Harry muttered under his breath, "At least I know that insufferable little git is paid back in full for all the hell he gives us."
This excerpt begins on page 61. It is set in Flourish and Blotts just after Harry is given the complete works of Gilderoy Lockhart.
"Bet you loved that, didn't you, Potter?" said a voice Harry had no trouble recognizing. He straightened up and found himself face-to-face with Draco Malfoy, who was wearing his usual sneer.
"Famous Harry Potter." said Malfoy. "Can't even go into a bookshop without making the front page."
"Leave him alone, he didn't want all that!" said Ginny. It was the first time she had spoken in front of Harry. She was glaring at Malfoy.
Harry placed a hand on Ginny's shoulder and smiled down at her, "You tell him, Ginny."
"Potter, you've got yourself a girlfriend!" drawled Malfoy. Ginny went scarlet as Ron and Hermione fought their way over, both clutching stacks of Lockhart's books.
Harry chuckled, "Jealous, Malfoy? Its not my fault the only female that will have anything to do with you is that fat cow, Pansy Parkinson. What does she weigh anyway, like 200 pounds?"
This excerpt begins on page 89. It is set just after Ron received the Howler from Mrs. Weasley.
"Well, I don't know what you expected, Ron, but you--"
Harry interrupted her, "Hermione, for once in your life use your brain for something other than a storage device. We don't need a lecture from an eleven year old hag that doesn't know when to close her mouth."
This excerpt begins on page 98. It is set just after Colin Creevey asked Harry for a signed photograph.
"Let me just say that handing out signed pictures at this stage of your career isn't sensible--- looks a tad bigheaded, Harry, to be frank. There may well come a time when, like me, you'll need to keep a stack handy wherever you go, but" he gave a little chortle--- "I don't think you're quite there yet."
"Oh, please, you stuffed up popinjay, more people know who I am than they ever will you. The only reason that you're popular is because the witches think you're handsome. Now, if you don't mind, I have to get to class."
This excerpt begins on page 119. It is set as Minerva McGonagall comes up to Harry and Ron to assign their detentions.
"And you, Potter, will be helping Professor Lockhart answer his fan mail." said Professor McGonagall.
"Isn't there a law against cruel and unusual punishment?" asked Harry.
Hermione protested, "You got off easy in my opinion."
Harry replied scathingly, "Well, no one asked for your opinion, Hermione. I would rather face Voldemort a hundred times than deal with Lockhart."
McGonagall's eyes flashed, "Potter, you will refrain from speaking the Dark Lord's name or I will be forced to give you another detention."
Harry chuckled, "Actually, Professor, I don't think you can do that."
"And why is that, Mr. Potter?"
"Because Professor Dumbledore told me to use his name. I hardly think it would be proper for you to punish me for obeying the Headmaster."
McGonagall paused in surprise. Never before had a student outwitted her. Yet here stood a second year with a beguiling smile on his face that had done just that.
This excerpt begins on page 160. It is set while the trio are trying to figure out how to get their hands on a copy of Most Potente Potions.
"Oh, come on, no teacher's going to fall for that." said Ron. "They'd have to be really thick…"
Harry grinned, "Well, then, we have the perfect candidate. Lockhart is about as thick as you can get."
Ron laughed, while Hermione looked affronted.
This excerpt begins on page 173. It is set just after Harry lands from catching the Snitch.
"Ah." said Lockhart. "Yes. Well, that can sometimes happen. But the point is, the bones are no longer broken. That's the thing to bear in mind."
Harry yelled loudly, "You damned fool. I don't have bones in my arm anymore." Harry snatched his wand from inside his robes, "Expelliarmus." Lockhart was blasted backwards as his wand fell at Harry's feet. Harry pocketed his own wand and struggled to his feet. He looked disdainfully over at Lockhart's crumpled form and then stomped on Lockhart's wand. "That will be the end of your meddling."
This excerpt begins on page 214. It is set after Crabbe and Goyle eat the cakes loaded with Hermione's sleeping draft.
"How thick can you get?" Ron whispered ecstatically as Crabbe gleefully pointed out the cakes to Goyle and grabbed them. Grinning stupidly, they stuffed the cakes whole into their large mouths. For a moment, both of them chewed greedily, looks of triumph on their faces. Then, without the smallest change of expression, they both keeled over backward onto the floor.
Harry laughed, "It appears that Lockhart has some competition in the stupidity contest from those two idiots."
This excerpt begins on page 239. It is set after Harry is cornered by the dwarf delivering the singing Valentine.
But Harry didn't care, he was one-up on Malfoy, and that was worth five points from Gryffindor any day. Malfoy was looking furious, and as Ginny passed him to enter her classroom, he yelled spitefully after her, "I don't think Potter liked your valentine much!"
Harry spoke up loudly, "I loved her valentine. I just didn't think you were worthy enough to hear it, Malfoy. So, sod off."
This excerpt begins on page 270. It is set during Defense Against the Dark Arts class while Lockhart is claiming to know more about Cornelius Fudge taking Hagrid to Azkaban.
"Oh, yes he would." said Ron, even more loudly than Dean.
"I flatter myself I know a touch more about Hagrid's arrest than you do, Mr. Weasley." said Lockhart in a self-satisfied tone.
Harry snorted derisively, "You flatter yourself if you think you know how to tie your own shoes."
This excerpt begins on page 295. It is set after Harry and Ron overhear Professor McGonagall informing the other teacher's that Ginny had been taken into the Chamber of Secrets.
The teachers rose and left, one by one.
Once the teachers were gone, Ron looked at Harry weakly, "Now, what do we do?"
Harry replied with steel in his voice, "We take that idiot Lockhart and we go get her tonight."
Ron asked, "Will we be able to?"
Harry answered, again, "I don't know, but if we are too late, pity the Heir of Slytherin, because I don't intend to."
This excerpt begins on page 317. It is set after Harry confronts Tom in the Chamber of Secrets.
"Now, Harry, I'm going to teach you a little lesson. Let's match the powers of Lord Voldemort, Heir of Salazar Slytherin, against famous Harry Potter, and the best weapons Dumbledore can give him…"
Harry chuckled, "If you are that eager to lose again, so be it. Dumbledore and I represent the Light, and we will always vanquish the darkness, Tom."
This excerpt begins on page 323. It is set after Harry has defeated the Basilisk and Tom.
"I'm going to be expelled!" Ginny wept as Harry helped her awkwardly to her feet. "I've looked forward to coming to Hogwarts ever since B-Bill came and n-now I'll have to leave and --- w-what'll Mum and Dad say?"
Harry said soothingly as he pulled Ginny into a hug and began to stroke her hair, "Its okay, Ginny. No one's going to expel you. Your Mum and Dad are just going to be glad that you're alright. Its all over now. Let's get out of here. Ron is waiting for us."
Ginny looked up at Harry hopefully, "Really?"
Harry smiled down at her, "Really." Then, the two of them left the Chamber of Secrets hand in hand.
Shadowface: Expect one for each book. After that I might start doing other characters. We'll see. Thanks for the review.
Rincewind: I know. Harry was talking about Aunt Marge, though. Thanks for the review.
Cur03: Obviously, so do I. Thanks for the review.
Capt Kidd: I'm glad you like it. Thanks for the review.
HP-wannabe69: I know exactly what you mean. Thanks for the review.
Umm duh: Thanks for the correction. Thanks for the review.
Shadow Beast. Thanks for the review.
Maria: The second chapter has arrived. Thanks for the review.
Raiining: I'm working on it. Thanks for the review.
Joe: I'm just concentrating on Harry for now. I'll see what I can do with other characters later. Thanks for the review.
Blip-dragon: I'll get them out as fast as I can think of them. Thanks for the review.
ABigPopTart: Hopefully, you thought this set was amusing as well. Thanks for the review.
Wiccan Pussy Cat: Here it is. I agree about the Slytherin thing. I would be best suited for Slytherin myself. Although I don't think I would be a complete pain in the ass like Malfoy. Thanks for the review.
ERMonkey, Queen of Insanity: I'm working on them. Thanks for the review.
Brittany-Granger: The second chapter is here. Thanks for the review.
Gryphonmistress: The later books give more opportunities to play, so there should be quite a few more. Thanks for the review.