In this dream he is crumpled in the corner. Invisible hands rain down powerful blows as he does his best to remember the importants of oxygen. He knows he has to keep breathing. But each breath comes in tandum with pain that stabs his side. Just breathe he tells himself. Just take one more breath. Stay alive one second longer. Oh how easy it would be to just give up . Surrender to the black. Fall asleep and never wake up. But he remembers. He can't leave. He's needed at home. Somebody has to look out for Brian. If Brian doesn't have anybody he'll fall apart. A unfamilar horrible vision flashes before his eyes. The love of his life hanging from the rafters, fighting to breathe just like he his now.
Just as he remembers what he's fighting for the pain stops. His tormentor steps out of the black. His face half hidden in shadow but still he'd know that face anywhere. The evil smirk was evil and menacing and has haunted him since he was 15 years old.
Jack Kinney stands over a beaten Michael Novotny. Knowing in a self-satisfied way that he taught the little fairy a lesson. That Novotny would think twice about looking at his boy like that again. An evil chuckle escapes him as he goes. Leaving the only boy that would ever truly love his son bleeding and sobbing on the floor. The word "queer" rings in his ears. The silence is broken.
The hosptial waiting roomis sterile and smells of stinging astringent. Brian guesses that's what death smells like. There is noise all around him. Jumbled words penetrate the cloud he had built around himself and his muddled brain trys to comprehend.
Internal Injuries. Swelling. Pressure. Bleeding.
But one snaps him back and the room finally comes into focus. Looking around the room he wishes now the room was still fuzzy. The word, although spoken softly, echos through the hallway. Sobbing is what truly breaks the silence. Deb and Emmett are clinging to each other. Ted is looking at his feet fighting back his tears. Brian however cannot be as strong. Before he realizes it he feels the single wet drop land on the inside of his left wrist. Then he watches as others join it. The one word that is playing on everyone's mind. The one that Brian is scared of, even though he never knew you could be scared of a word. The word that describes what Michael is right now.
Comatose.
The ER doctor says that after Michael has been moved upstairs he can have visitors. Of course upstairs means that he won't be walking out the door anytime soon. So it makes the good news a little less good. They all wait for what seems like days. Everyone's there. Deb, Vic, Em, and Ted are huddled together. Vic is playing the ever present father. The girls are there too. Mel offers a weak smile because she cannot even begin to imagine what it's like to be him. Lindsey is fussing over Gus. Her hands are moving fast but she isn't quick enough to hind the fact that she's shaking. His gaze rest one the one person he would be glad never to see. Justin Taylor had the gall to show his face. For the first time since Deb's call Brian feels something other than shock. Pure vengeful rage shoots through him and before he can be stopped he lauches at his new worst enemy.
The hard flat slap of two grown men hitting the floor causes everyone to turn their head away form their conversations. They watch slack jawed as a furious Brian stares hard at a wide eyed Justin. Keeping him in pinned by the throat. The air crackled and everyone jumped when they heard the first words come out of Brian's mouth in four hours. His voice trembled and only allowed him to whisper.
"How dare you?" You think I have forgotten. You think I don't know that you're part of the rerason we even have to be here. That Michael would be home safe in bed had I kept walking that night on Liberty Ave. If I had said no. If I had listened to the signs."
Justin did his best impression of a goldfish and the silence was more than he could take. His fingers closed into a fist and waited for the sweet crush of knuckles hitting a cheek. But it never came. All that came. All that came was warm thin arms that encircled him from behind. The way he wept when he felt the even warmer chest cushion his fall into it. The way he wept when even warmer breath glided across his neck. Telling him everything will be okay. He was weeping in relief because for that second everything was alright. Made that way the ever present father.
The sound of shuffling feet follow a terrified man as he walks the most terrifying walk of his life. When he feels the cold steel of the handle in his palm he hesitates before stepping inside. ICU. This makes it all real. Brian thinks that if this really is the end he might make the whole thing stop here. So he can remember the Mikey he sees now. Not the broken one that lies a few feet ahead of him. He's scared that under all those tubes and contusions he won't be able to recognize his Mikey.
He mentally slaps himself for even considering abandoning the one that never abandoned him. He decided that if this was it then it ended with a kiss. He remembers Michael's warmth. From those 15 years but mostly from the night before. He needed that warmth. He needed to lay beside his life even if he was barely hanging on to his own. His best friend, he needed his soulmate. With a deep breath henodded his head once and opened the door.