Storm Surge
Summary: She's a solitary girl, always staying at a safe distance. She's been staring at the same guy for three years, but she always stays in the shadows. Will Senka overcome her fears? WarrenOC Slight LashOC at the moment
Disclaimer: I can only claim Senka Lucine Poe.. and my other made up peoples...
Thanks to all my reviews and non-reviewers who have stayed with me through December and waited patiently. This story has more reviews than, I think, all my other stories combined. Wowsas! And so I'd like to first thank ALL of my reviewers, not just the ones who reviewed after Smile When Your Heart is Breaking. I won't name you all, because you know who you are.
Warrensgurl: I'm so glad you loved it, and here is your long awaited update.
Rootbeetgirl19: GoF was awesome, as a movie. But in comparison to the actual-factual GoF, as with all movies modeled after books, it was poor and left out some pretty wicked stuff.
Salt In Your Wounds: Wow, thanks. A script for something, eh? How about Sky High 2? I guess I'll just take the cookie since I'm so glad that I made a fan out of you.
Lived and Live BB4L: Yay! I'm so happy that you were able to view the page or whatever! dances
Lt. Commander Richie: That's normally my plan for movies, also. Amazing, isn't it, how great minds think alike?
Neva: I'm talented! WOOT. I love being complimented. hehe
T: I would post more often but I have this thing called a life where I have to do Jazz Band, study, go to school, apply for WRA, Academic Challenge, Yearbook Meetings, Pep Club, chores, and baby-sit. Trust me, I wish I didn't have a lot of that stuff, lol.
Tenni: I know, I feel bad for putting Senka through a lot of the stuff that I do. But hey, if life was fair, it wouldn't start in High School. Actually, it probably wouldn't start anytime. But I don't plan on Warren 'pitying' her at all. Senka is too proud for such a thing, anyhow.
RoXxXxXxi: Here's your more.. and don't forget to use commas and proper spelling! smiles
orliefan: I love Warren too.. back off, he's MiiiinnnneE! lol. Hey, what's an orlie?
Lived and Live BB4L: Hey look, it's you AGAIN! Wow.
My-Uneasy-Heart: Thanks! Sometimes when I read it I can't believe I wrote it. Here's your update!
T: Hey, it's another repeat. And yes, I know, a month. Don't rub it in.
Wow, that was a lot of people. I feel so SPECIAL! huggles and bursts into song I am special, there is no one else like me! I'm a wonder... I can think and feel and dream... I'm a marvel, and more! I can love you, feel for you, show you how special you can be!
Okay, sorry, I'm done. And ready to give you WHAT A TANGLED WEB WE WEAVE!
Chapter Three: What a Tangled Web We Weave
Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive." -Sir Walter Scott
Staring into the mirror, I can't help but thing of what utter destruction I've set upon my fragile heart. I'll never be able to be with Warren, I've given myself away to Lash. Unbelievable, huh? I mean, I've loved Warren since I saw him that day at my locker oh so long ago, and now my hopes have been shattered. It was bad enough thinking about comparing myself to Crystal Shields, but now...
Maybe you don't understand, so I'll make it clearer for you. I gave myself to Lash, and I can never take that back. I will feel ashamed about it for the rest of my mediocre life. I'm disgusted with myself, to tell you the truth. I was so careless as to throw away something so precious as my virginity, something I will never be able to regain. Maybe being a virgin doesn't mean a lot to you, but there's something special about it for me. I'm not into the abstinence until marriage thing, but I am into making it special and with someone you truly and utterly love. Maybe that person will be your significant other, maybe they won't. Regardless, you'll always remember them as not only being your first, but being your sweetheart and someone who meant a lot to you. Honestly, I wanted it to be Warren. I always harbored hope inside my heart that we'd be in love and do something like that, but I can't. I'm not the kind of girl who just sleeps with a guy and pretends he doesn't exist the next day. In fact, I'm going out with Lash now. Tonight is our third date this month, actually.
"Senka!" Drew shouted up the stairwell. There's some boy at the door for you." I almost laughed at the way he said that, too.
"Coming!" I yelled and I stomped down the steps. At the door was none other than Lash. He smiled when he saw me, and offered me his arm. I took it gratefully, and he led me to his trashy old truck. It's a red pickup with dents covering it on all sides. Ha, you think that's bad? You should see the inside! It's a dump. There are McDonald's bags everywhere, and cups littered the floor. The dashboard was home to countless papers that were from God knows when.
"I bet you really missed this, eh?" Lash joked as he put the key into the ignition. I flashed him a smile, shaking my head in silent laughter. We drove for a while, the radio pumping with sounds of KISS, Loverboy, and Sting. Lash and I are both into Big Hair bands and stuff like that, and some 70's stuff. I'm a huge Pat Benatar fan, though.
"Here we are!" Lash announced as we pulled up to a rickety looking place. The lit neon sign above the door read "Nevermore' and I had never heard of it in my life.
"What is this?" I inquired, only to be met with a smug look and an arm around my shoulders.
"You'll see!" he whispered into my ear as he led me inside. instantly I recognized it as one of those places where you drink coffee and read poetry all day. I don't think I've ever smiled a truer smile in my life. The thin about Lash was he could really be amazing and sweet if he wanted to. (which he rarely did). Yet somehow, he knew that I would absolutely adore this place. I'm very glad I brought my poetry notebook, but of course I carry it everywhere with me.
We took a seat at an empty booth and I closed my eyes. The sounds of that girl's voice, the rhythms of her poem, they calmed my mind. I was already anxious to get up there. I can't quite explain what reading poetry feels like to me, but I'll try. Have you ever been to the top of a mountain and stared out across the sky, and felt like you were in Heaven, like you were God? That's what it feels like for me and it's the most amazing feeling. It's like I'm motherfucking God and nothing can possibly go wrong.
"Senka," Lash prodded. "It's your turn, go up now."
I got up and walked towards the stage. Taking a deep breath, I prepared to be God and be set free.
"I smile at them as they pass
Meaningless faces, meaningless smiles
Some of them think they know me
But they don't see the darkness
Welling up –inside-
I listen to them chattering
Insincere voices, insincere words
Some of the talk about me
But they don't speak of the emptiness
From which I have to –hide-
I toil at my studies
Pointless concepts, pointless problems
Some of them mean to strain me
But they don't share the pain
That I must always –bear-
I stare at the screen late at night
Meaningless verses, meaningless words
Some of the bled from my fingertips
But they don't aid my endless fight
To keep my dying soul –alight-"
I finished and stared out at the crowd. They clapped for me, for what I had written. I gave a shy, faded smile and walked over to Lash. He had ordered us coffee, and remembered how much I love English Toffee Cappuccinos.
"I really liked that." He commented in between sips from his Latte.
"Thanks." I said, my voice distant. To say the least, my mind was elsewhere. Of course, that's not really anything new. Anyhow, the rest of the night was peaceful and I enjoyed it very much. However, having to get back into that sty that Lash called his baby I could have lived without. When I got home, Lash walked me up to the door. It was late, yet the porch light shed a soft glow above us.
"I had a nice time tonight." I whispered, giving him a hug. I knew he wanted more than that, though.
"I'm glad." He told me, and made to leave.
"Lash?" I asked, and he turned. On an impulse, (those damn things have been taking over me far too often lately) I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. For a fraction of a second I could feel his shock, but it only took him that long to respond. He bit my bottom lip as I pulled away.
"Bye Lash," I bid him goodbye. "See you tomorrow."
"Yeah," Lash said quietly. "Tomorrow."
And so another school day begins!
I was startled when Brad called me downstairs that morning; usually he had already left for work. Brad and Drew, like Mom, were inactive. They were just like I would be. Blearily I did my morning routine which you've heard before and met Mom in the kitchen a few minutes later. I gulped down four glasses of orange juice in the kitchen alone, and grabbed two cans for the bus stop.
"Hey Spooky!" Charlie greeted me, punching me lightly on the shoulder. I grinned and punched him back.
"Hey yourself, stranger." I laughed and went to sit on the bench right behind me. Much to my utter surprise, Warren sat next to me. Normally he hated being sat next to, period. (Even in class.)
"How are you doing?" he asked quietly. I sighed, and I hated the look he gave me. It was one of those looks of pity and sympathy. I hate being pitied, I don't need anyone's charity.
"Don't look at me like that!" I snapped, without thinking. What was wrong with me, I never snapped at people! I felt bad as soon as Warren looked confused.
"I'm sorry," I apologized. "It's just… I don't want your pity Warren! I don't want your sympathy, and I don't need any of your charity. I know that sounds cruel, but…"
"I understand." Warren admitted. "And I'm sorry, because I know how you feel. You want to be left alone."
"No," I corrected him, before he could leave. "I just want a friend, a straight up and honest friend who isn't being nice to me because he feels sorry for me."
At that moment, the bus pulled to a stop at the curb. I could feel the tears welling up behind my eyes and I made a mad dash to the growing line. I tried breathing slowly and tilting my head up, but nothing worked. I was about three seconds away from bursting out into tears. Thankfully, I made it without doing so until I got to the back seat, which Charlie had saved. That's when the dams broke.
"What's the matter?" Charlie asked, confused.
"Everything is just so messed up!" I choked out through tears. "I'm going out with Lash, who I don't love. The guy I love knows about everything and I can never be with him because he's got a girlfriend anyway, and oh, Charlie! I just can't take it anymore!"
Charlie stared at her, and incredulous look upon his face. He awkwardly reached out and patter her on the back, and Senka cried onto his shoulder.
"Care to elaborate?" Charlie asked after they had reached school and she had dried her eyes. With a sorrowful sigh, she decided to explain.
"I've loved Warren since freshman year, yaar? Well, it broke my heart when he started to go out with Crystal Shields and my head knew I'd never had a chance if he liked girls like Crystal, but my heart still thought just maybe, you know? Do you know how Will Stronghold had that party three weeks ago? I got totally drunk and had sex with Lash. Now I feel all obligated to be with Lash, at least for a while and it all just hurts too much." I said this all with one breath and my face was red and flushed. By this time, we were almost to Charlie's locker when the first bell rang.
"Shit!" I exclaimed. "I have to go to my locker now, or I'll be late!"
I actually broke out in a run but got stopped by Coach Boomer. I hate having to see him everyday, but first teacher of the morning? This day was not starting out very well.
"Poe!" he shouted. "No running in the halls!"
"Sorry Coach Boomer, sir." I sighed. "You can give me my detention slip now."
What a surprise, Coach Boomer gave me detention for after school. I loathe detention. I always get stuck next to the creepy weirdo who picks his nose and then eats the boogers. I shudder at the very thought of it. It's also no a surprise that I was late to class for more reasons than one. I was late to my locker and it would not open, which really isn't new. What happened next was, though. Lash snuck up behind me, and his arms wrapped around my waist. I let out a squeak of surprise.
"Lash!" I tried to struggle out of his grasp. "I'm already late for English!"
"Then skip it," he whispered into my ear, and god did it tickle. "And hang with me."
"You know I won't do that." I scolded, mustering up one of my best glares. He simply ignored it and began kissing my neck. The thing that bugs me most about Lash is that he doesn't know when to stop. He'll just keep on going and going, until he falls off the edge of the upper extreme, and even then he'd try to go farther. "Could you please stop?"
As I have aforementioned, Lash does not know the meaning of 'stop'. By now, he had moved up to my lips and pushed me against my locker. My arms were out of my control and slid up his shirt. Then my brain took control of my body and escaped by sliding to the floor. Lash looked down at me with an annoyed smile.
"Come on Senka, get up." He said impatiently, but I crawled between his legs so I was now behind him. "What's up with you?"
"I have class, that's what's up." I sighed. "Lunch, okay? Maybe Spanish."
Lash threw me a rueful grin and I headed to English. Mr. Alloy was fuming at me for being late, but he'd hate even if I weren't. I don't know why he hates me, and I probably never would. Mr. Alloy was a loony, to put it plain and simple.
The rest of the day wasn't nearly as horrible as the rest, and passed by in the breeze. Soon enough, it was time for lunch. She decided to take a break from eating outside in the courtyard and instead sat down next to Warren. Ethan ("Popsicle-Boy"), Zack, Magenta, Layla, and Will were all there already.
"Hey Senka!" Magenta greeted her, being her usual purple self. Layla flashed her a shiny smile, Ethan waved, Zack did absolutely nothing, Will smiled, and Warren whispered a soft "hey". Warren was, as usual, just staring at his food. I was on a diet, but was itching to have his pudding. I mean itching very badly.
"Are you gonna eat-" I began, but was cut off when Lash came up behind me (he apparently likes to do that) and rested his head on top of mine. "Hey Lash!"
Everyone at the table all gave Lash evil glares and Layla stared at me with a disapproving look. I stuck my tongue out at her and glanced sideways at Warren. His hands were smoking just a little. It's amazing how protective of me he's become. I got up and grabbed my shoulder bag.
"Bye guys, I'll see you in Gym." I waved goodbye and followed Lash to one of the many Janitor's closets. Once inside, he pulled me as close to him as humanly possible and the proceeded to kiss me silly. After a while, I was really dizzy and didn't know why. Then I remembered since I am not a fish and do not have gills I need air. I gently pulled away, even though Lash was very reluctant about it.
"I have to breath, thanks." I laughed, and Lash still couldn't take his eyes off my lips. So I rolled my eyes and wrapped my arms around his neck. He grinned and leaned down to kiss me. Afterwards, I sighed happily. Lash was no Warren, but it was nice to be wanted.
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And that, my lovely friends, was Chapter Three. I hope you enjoyed it, and it's a little longer than usual because of the wait you managed to endure. Because I love all of you to pieces.
Happy New Year all of you! Plus, wish me good luck. I'm taking my SSAT on Saturday for my acceptance into Western Reserve Academy.
Chapter Four: The Suicidal State of Mind
Due: January 10th