Volleyball

Vala sat in Teal'c's quarters, flipping through the television channels, looking for something to relieve her boredom. Daniel was working in his lab and had locked the door, refusing to let her in no matter how loudly she made suggestive remarks in the hallway where passers-by could hear.

She stopped on a sports channel, confused about what she was seeing.

"Teal'c, what is this?" She poked the Jaffa in the shoulder, disturbing his attempt to Kel'no'reem.

Teal'c reluctantly opened his eyes to look at the television set. "I believe that is a Tau'ri sport called volleyball."

"What is the point? I mean, what are they trying to do?" Vala cocked her head to the left to see if that point of view would make the game any clearer.

"It appears that the teams try to get the ball over the net without letting it touch the ground. Each team attempts to get the other team to fail in their goal." He hoped that would be enough information for the woman. She seemed to have attached herself to him lately in an attempt to quench her insatiable curiosity. He had apparently been deemed by her as an easier source of information that the other members of SG1, who avoided her like the plague.

Vala watched the four men in two teams spiking the ball over the net at each other. She became very interested in their attire. "Teal'c, what are those men wearing?"

Teal'c sighed and opened his eyes again. "General O'Neill has referred to those costumes as Speedos."

"Wouldn't the sand get into uncomfortable places? Look at how those men slide in the sand after they dive to hit the ball! I would volunteer to help make them more comfortable." Vala began to imagine herself in the sand with the muscular men, removing sand from interesting places.

Teal'c grunted in annoyance, grabbed the remote and turned off the television.

"Woman, go take a cold shower. I believe that is what Colonel Mitchell resorts to when he has been examining the Sports Illustrated Swim Suit issue. It is apparently the Tau'ri custom after indulging in libidinous thoughts resulting from regarding the opposite sex in bathing attire."

Vala stood and shifted uncomfortably, attempting to relieve an itch. She approached the stoic Jaffa, stood in front of him, legs spread, fists on hips. She leaned over him, her hair mingling with his, "Come with me and we can explore this Tau'ri custom of the cold shower together."

A/N: Please, any ideas for situations where Teal'c teaches Vala? Come on, you know you do!