Vala's Secret

Daniel exited the elevator and hurried down the corridor, headed toward Teal'c's quarters. He balanced an unstable stack of folders, magazines, papers, and books on one arm. His head was down as he flipped through the table of contents at the front of a book he'd just received from an eBay auction. He had just turned the corner when his progress was unexpectedly halted by a "brick wall." Daniel bounced off the "wall" and found himself sprawled on the cement floor inspecting the ceiling.

As soon as the stars quit circling his head, he groped around on the floor, found his glasses, put them on and sat up. Face to face with Vala. "Terrific! Just great! I should have known you'd be able to impersonate a wall."

"I'm fine. Thank you for asking. How are you?" Vala's sarcasm could give Jack a run for his money.

"Yeah, whatever. Look, Vala, I don't have time for your nonsense right now. I was on my way to Teal'c's and then I have to get to my office." Daniel began restacking the scattered papers.

Vala glanced around her at the various papers and spotted something that piqued her interest. While Daniel was still restacking and reorganized the chaos surrounding them, she picked up the object. Her eyes widened as she flipped through the pages of the magazine.

"Um, Daniel, why do you have this?" Vala was truly shocked that Daniel could be interested in the apparel in the pictures she held in her hands. Maybe Daniel's more interesting than I thought. She squinted at him sideways and tried to picture the outfit on page 25 on Daniel. No way!

Daniel looked up to see what Vala had in her hands. He reddened and then blanched. "Vala." Daniel's voice was pleading. "Give that back to me." He reached out for it, but she was much quicker and backed up holding the offending magazine over her head and away from Daniel's reach.

"Daniel. Is this why you haven't wanted to sleep with me? There's something about you I'm not aware off?" Vala eye glittered with amusement.

"It's Teal'c's."

"Sure it is. I have difficulty imagining you wearing this – well, I can imagine it, it's just not a pretty sight – but there is no way Teal'c would purchase this! It's bright pink!" Vala flipped through the pages quickly and began laughing harder and harder as she tried to picture Daniel and Teal'c prancing around in these clothes.

Daniel managed to snatch it from her. He closed it up and showed her the address label on the back of the magazine.

T. Murray Cheyenne Mountain NORAD Colorado Springs, CO

"I just picked up Teal'c's mail and was bringing it to him." Daniel's voice sounded offended.

"Oh, let me! I have to ask him what he's doing with this." Vala grabbed the offending magazine back and knocked on Teal'c's door.

Teal'c, serene and majestic, answered his door. He stood back, pulled the door open enough for both Daniel and Vala to enter, and gestured a welcome.

Daniel entered with his head down, clearly wanting to be anywhere else, but unable to avoid watching the incident about to happen.

"Teal'c, Daniel said that this is yours." Vala brought the magazine out from behind her back and held it out to the Jaffa.

Teal'c glanced at the offered glossy magazine, nodded imperceptibly and reached out to retrieve the object. Daniel could see how embarrassed Teal'c was to be presented with it.

"Indeed."

"Um, Teal'c, do you purchase items from this … Daniel, what is the word I'm searching for?"

"Catalog."

"Yes, thank you. Do you purchase items from this catalog?" Vala poked the catalog with her long, graceful finger.

"Indeed."

Daniel and Vala both dropped their jaws, eyes round with shock.

"Um, why?" Daniel's question came out in a squeak.

Holding the catalog close to his chest, Teal'c began flipping through the pages until he came to the page he had been searching for. "Ishta has expressed a desire to wear this." He pointed.

Vala and Daniel leaned in to see. Daniel read the description out loud. "Off-the-shoulder scalloped neckline. Derrière-skimming length, pulse-elevating shape. Delicate bell sleeves. Matching lace bikini. Imported nylon. In black, pointsettia red, cherub pink and parma violet."

"Teal'c? Baby-doll sleepware? Ishta?" Daniel closed his eyes and tried very hard not to picture that in his mind.

Vala watched Daniel's reaction closely. "Teal'c, what is the name of this catalog? Can I buy something from it?" She watched Daniel even closer as his face paled and his breath stopped momentarily.

"It is Victoria's Secret. You may order from my catalog, if you wish." Teal'c had also seen Daniel's face and his lips were twitching with great amusement at his friend's discomfort.

"I…I gotta go!" Daniel almost ran from the room.

"Teal'c, you know, I may just find a good use for one of those myself."