I don't own the Transformers, or pretty much any of the stores I mention in this fic.

9:00 A.M. Upstate, NY

It was father's day once again, and Koji was out at the mall, looking for a gift for Optimus. He had set his eye on a power-drill when he heard a crashing in the neighboring Hallmark store.

He then heard a noise that made his spine tingle with fear.

"Tububububububububu!" The little Archangel had found him once again. For some unknown reason, the half-bat was crying.

Koji walked out, and saw Ben there on a bench, crying in a manner that might re-enact Noah's flood.

"What's wrong?" Koji asked innocently, forgetting that it was Father's Day.

"I (sob) have no sons or daughterses to share Father's Dayyyyy with (sob). WAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" Ben howled, crying in his helium voice.

Koji sighted. "Is this like the time you felt left out that no one would counsel you?"

The half-bat nodded.

Koji groaned. Sometimes he hated being the son of Ben's Guardian, feeling an odd responsibility toward his 'uncle', he said "Maybe we could hang out or something YAAAAHHH!" The 'YAAAAHHH!' was the noise Koji made when Ben grabbed him and started dragging him all over the mall.

"Borrowed SON!" Ben yelled joyfully, skipping with Koji being dragged behind.

Suddenly, Ben stopped.

Koji looked up and glared at Ben. "No. We are SO not going in there!"

Ben turned and gave his puppy dog eyes. "Please!"

Koji pointed at the store. "NO, YOU PERV!"

It was a Victoria's Secret.

"FINE! BUT I'LL CRY 'TIL EVERYBODY DROWNS IF YOU DON'T!" Ben threatened.

Koji groaned. "Fine…Let's just get this over with.

-

Once in the store, Ben was fawned over by the attendants, almost as if Ben had planned this…

"Isn't he SOOOO cute?" One said.

"No! He's ADORABLE!" another said.

"AWW! I WISH I HAD ONE!" yet another said.

Koji decided to get a little love from the ladies. "Well, I'm his…" he started, but got three sets of evil eyes at him.

"YOU'RE A BAD FATHER! TAKING YOUR SON TO AN UNDERWEAR STORE! PERV!" the brunette in the center yelled.

Ben giggled, as they went back to adoring him.

"Rotten little weasel with wings…" Koji muttered. "Come on…we're out of here, you brat!"he then snapped.

Ben then promptly began to cry, taking advantage of the fact that he looked like a little kid.

In a flash, Koji found himself beaten and bruised, and kicked in the nads enough for a year by the three salesgirls.

"owww…" he moaned.

-

Ben came out some time later, smiling from ear to ear.

"What are you so happy about!" Koji snapped, still hurting. Ben grinned. "I saw a lot from below!"

Koji glared a death glare at Ben. "No more of that, OK?"

Ben shook his head rapidly. "OK, Borrowed Son! To the fair!"

Koji groaned to himself silently, cursing himself for ever letting himself do this…

-

"The Ferris Wheel!" Ben yelled, pointing at a dark and obviously abandoned Ferris Wheel.

"Uhh…Ben, I think this might be a bad idea…The sign to the 'fair' said that this place was condemned…" Koji warned.

Ben wasn't listening, as he put himself and Koji on the Ferris Wheel. Using a remote, he turned on the wheel. Slowly they spun at first, then accelerating at an alarming rate.

"BEN! WHAT IS GOING ON!" Koji yelled, as Ben laughed like a little maniac.

"Wheel go fast!" Ben yelled, as the Wheel suddenly made creaking sounds. Koji's eyes snapped to the source of these sounds and saw what was going on- the wheel was disconnecting from the stand. Luckily for Koji, he had a teleporter, and warped out before he got in an accident. Ben was still laughing as the wheel disconnected, and started to roll towards the city, ending with a sickening crash with lots of people screaming.

(Flash Forward to the next morning on the news)

"Hello, I'm Ken Jones, your anchor for the Morning News. Last Night, a Freak accident happened in which a Ferris Wheel came off its stand and crushed 60 people…"

(Back to the Night)

"Ben, are you OK!" Koji asked. Ben came out laughing, with his bat ears a little flattened, but no other damage.

"OOHHHH! TILT-A-WHIRL!" Ben yelled, grabbing Koji and dragging him onto it. Once again, the ride started off slow, but this time, the ride was supposed to go fast. However, Ben somehow broke the Tilt-A-Whirl, and it spun so fast that it lifted up into the sky. Once again, Koji warped out. The rogue ride then crashed into a blimp, which caught fire, and crashed into a school…

(Next morning, on the news…)

The News Anchor, Ken Jones, seemed a tad disturbed when he was handed his next sheet of information.

"Last night, in another freak accident, a Tilt-A-Whirl ride spun off its hinges and crashed into a blimp, which promptly caught flames and …am I reading this right, Frank? (He hears a 'yes' from offscreen) …The burning blimp then crashed into a middle school, which wouldn't have been so bad if it weren't a PTA night…"

(Back to the night)

"OOOH! THE PILEDRIVER!" Ben yelled, pointing at a huge hammer-like ride.

"Oh no, Ben! That's probably broken too!" Koji yelled.

Ben was already on it and turning it on. Koji was wise this time…he stayed off the defective ride. The hammer raised up, like it was supposed to…but then dropped way too hard, crashing into the ground and dropping underground, where a "WHEEEEEEEEEEE!" could be heard.

All of a sudden, Koji heard a "creeeaaakkk" from below, and looked down as he saw Ben flying up as fast as he could, with a pillar of fire behind him.

"What happened!" Koji asked Ben, who barely made it.

Ben twiddled his fingers. "I kinda hit an oil line…"

(Morning News, again)

Ken Jones gave the guy who gave him his information a glare. His eyes then widened when he read the next report.

"What the (censored)!" He then grit his teeth and said "In yet another FREAK accident, A Piledriver ride ruptured a gas line, setting fire to half of the city! WHAT THE HELL, FRANK! WHAT THE HELL!"

(Back to the night)

Ben and Koji were chasing the fire as fast as they could, until it got to the mall, when Ben's eyes widened.

"Borrowed Son, we must save the Panties!" He yelled, pointing at Victoria's Secret.

"Oh noo…"

-

Unfortunately for Optimus, Hot Shot, and Red Alert, who were shopping for good gifts for their respective "fathers", Ben and Koji didn't stop the fire.

(About 45 min. before the fire would get there…)

Red Alert was looking around in the Food Court, randomly asking humans why they ate, and why they ate so many calories.

Hot Shot was playing the video games inside Funcoland, cursing the tiny controller every so often.

Optimus was inside Spencer's, bedazzled by all the shiny, pricy things.

"Ooh…shiny plate…" Optimus said drunkenly.

-

Red Alert and Hot Shot soon found their leader, about a half four later, still staring at the plate. Then, Optimus turned to the salesperson, and took out his Matrix.

"I'll trade you the Matrix of Autobot Leadership for that shiny plate." He offered.

The saleslady scoffed. "We already have three of those."

Optimus walked back to the plate, dejected. Then, a sickening thought came into his head.

"I'll trade your life for the plate, human!" he hissed.

The saleslady laughed. "We already had another person come in like that. Mega tron, or something like that. Anyways, I'm just a hologram…"

Then, Hot Shot noticed something. "Uhh…Optimus, It's getting hot in here!"

Optimus turned around, giving Hot Shot a weird look. "Don't you start getting weird too."

Red Alert scowled.

"Sir, I concur with Hot Shot. Temperature levels are skyrocketing." He said.

Optimus groaned. "Fine…we'll go back to the base." He said, warping the three out.

(Next morning)

After the news, the Autobots all glared at Ben.

"FREAK ACCIDENTS, HUH!" Optimus growled.

Ben shrank a little. "uhh…what a coincidence…"

"YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE!" Optimus roared.

"tububububububububu…."Ben groaned.

-

R&R!