CHAPTER 4

Caitlin Todd sat in her car in the hospital car park, staring into space, silent tears rolling down her cheeks. Epilepsy? Not again, not again. It still hurt knowing that she couldn't save Evan. Although logically she knew it wasn't her fault Evan was dead, Kate couldn't help but blame herself. Now Tony, as well? This was just too much. Evan was smaller than she was and she still couldn't save him, how the hell was she going to be able to help Tony?

"Katie, come play with me. Please? Pretty please?" 6-year-old Evan Todd stared up at his 15-year-old sister Caitlin, pulling out all stops and using his huge blue eyes to his advantage.

The two were going swimming later that afternoon, but when you're 6, 2 hours seems like an eternity.

"Not now, Ev, I'm busy," Caitlin said reluctantly, "Aw, Ev, no don't do the eye thing. Come on, Evan."

Making the best puppy-dog-eyes he could at his sister, Evan tried one last time, "Please, Katie?"

If there was one thing that never failed to work on Caitlin Todd, it was Evan's puppy-dog-eyes. Evan knew he always got his own way when he did the eye thing. So he did it all the time.

"OK, OK," Caitlin gave her brother a mock glare, "You gotta stop doing that, Ev."

Taking his sister's hand, Evan just grinned cheekily at her. Kate shook her head, grabbed their swimming bags, yelled to their mother that she was taking Evan swimming and began the 15 minute walk to the pool.

Kate sat with her feet dangling in the water, reading her book, while Evan splashed around her, kept afloat by his rubber ring. Kate was so engrossed in her book that she didn't notice her baby brother's normally exuberant splashing getting weaker and weaker. Kate first heard a cough, then a wheeze, and looked up.

"Oh God, Oh God, Oh God!" Kate panicked, hurling her book to the side and diving into the pool.

Evan was face down in the water, his tiny face contorted and blue, limbs thrashing wildly and his eyes wide and rolled back in his head, only showing the whites. Kate reached for him, grabbing his waist and trying to roll him over in the water like she was taught in her swimming lessons. One of Evan's tiny feet caught her in the stomach, knocking her under and forcing her to swallow a mouthful of water. Kate kicked her way back to the surface, breaking the water and screaming for help. The back of Evan's wildly jerking head smashed into Kate's face. The water around the two siblings began to turn red. Whose blood was that? Kate didn't know.

"Evan, please, please, stop struggling. Stop. It'll be OK. Please be OK."

As if on cue, Evan's tiny body ceased its wild struggle. But it wasn't ok; it would never be ok again. Little Evan was dead.

Kate wiped her eyes, blew her nose and checked her make-up in the mirror. Shaking her head, she rummaged through her bag, pulled out her compact and made herself look somewhat respectable again.

She was determined. She couldn't have saved Evan, but to hell be damned if she was going to watch Tony die too. She knew in her head that epilepsy wasn't what killed her brother, but she knew it didn't help much either. She nodded her head decisively to herself. She, Caitlin Todd, was going to help Tony learn to live with this, she'd protect him, and she'd save him like she was unable to save Evan. With that thought in mind, Kate got out of her car, hit the central locking and walked with a determined step back into the hospital.