Flying with Broken Wings

Chapter 2 – Broken Barriers

As soon as the Caraway house was in sight, Rinoa strangely walked into it with alarming speed. For one, she was supposed to be home a half hour ago, and for the other, her heart just couldn't stop pounding so quickly after her run-in with that boy with the mysterious stormy eyes…

Stop thinking about him, thought Rinoa desperately, he tried to kill you. You have to stop thinking about him.

"Rinoa."

Rinoa shrieked with surprise and jumped, her heart speeding rapidly. She let out a relieved sigh when she found that it was only her father.

"Rinoa … are you all right?" asked Caraway, genuinely concerned.

The teenager nodded quickly. "I'm fine … here's the stuff…" She put the shopping bag on the counter. Without another word, she bolted for her bedroom in search of refuge. Her heart was still beating wildly.

Rinoa closed the door behind her and jumped onto her bed, lying on her back and staring at the uninteresting cracks in the ceiling. She took a deep breath in attempt to calm down her racing heart.

This is so … weird, she thought pathetically, His eyes … I couldn't stop looking into them. Why did I turn around in the first place? Stupid, stupid me … that guy could've done anything to me. He had a knife pointed at my throat for Hyne's sake. Oh, but his eyes … I can tell he's seen a lot of things through those eyes. They were so full of hurt, full of … everything.

"Rinoa Heartilly, get a grip," she mumbled to herself angrily.

The next morning, Rinoa slept in until eleven o'clock. Getting up groggily, she cleaned herself up in the bathroom, changed into her usual outfit and headed into the kitchen for breakfast … or brunch. To her surprise, Caraway was not present. This was rather unusual, seeing as how he didn't have a job and was usually found in the house lazing about.

Rinoa shrugged it off. She didn't care, really. It wasn't her business when it came to what her father did. Instead of worrying about it, she made herself a sandwich and settled herself at the kitchen table, eating away in silence. Once or twice her hand reached up to her neck to fiddle with the rings that once hung off her chain, only to find that they weren't there anymore.

She sighed heavily, hating herself for losing those rings. It was a habit of hers to clutch at the rings on her necklace, but now that they were gone, she couldn't help but feel incomplete -naked, in a way. Those rings held sentimental value to her … one was her mother's wedding ring that she managed to keep before Julia died. The other was a ring that Caraway gave to her when she was very young. She didn't know what it was, but Caraway told her that it meant 'strength and pride'.

Funny … I can go back to some hooligan on the street and apologise for hurting him and end up giving him money, thought Rinoa, but I can't ask for my necklace back!

But her necklace wasn't on her mind when she went back to her attacker. In fact, she only noticed that it was gone when she reached her house. She regretted it with her life, and knew that if her father ever found out, then he would have murdered her.

Rinoa looked at the clock on the wall. It was eleven thirty, and she didn't have work or school that day. Her father wasn't at home to tell her what to do, either. She decided to visit the lake again. It brought comfort to her, knowing that the lake would always be there for her … her pleasant memories of the old days were held there, and she was very happy to relive them again.

And maybe he might be there again, thought Rinoa.

She quickly tried to drown out that thought, because that was not the real reason as to why she wanted to go down to Obel Lake. But even with that said, she still couldn't help but hope that her attacker from yesterday might've been there again…

Rinoa left the house after cleaning up. As she stepped outside, she was grateful that the summer was not at its extreme. The sky was a clear blue with not a single cloud in sight. The sun warmed up her skin and she wondered if she would be able to get a tan to counter her abnormally pale skin. She wandered down the street, taking in the fact that there weren't as many people out on the road as there usually were. She headed out the town gates and made her way to Obel Lake, with a bit of a skip in between her steps.

When the undeniable speck of blue water was within sight, she grinned and picked up the pace. As she got closer to the lake, she halted suddenly, her heart skipping beats. There, on the quay of the lake, stood a lone figure dressed in black. His back was toward Rinoa, looking out into the calm water, but she knew who it was straight away. It was the same guy from the previous day.

What should I do?

Rinoa contemplated on whether or not she should just go home, or stay at the lake. She didn't know if he still had the intention to rob or hurt her again, but she couldn't help but remember those eyes. She had a feeling that there was more to him … perhaps he wasn't really that bad of a guy. He must have needed that money for something important … he couldn't possibly just go around mugging girls for fun? He didn't look the type at all...

She hesitated for a moment. Oh what the heck … I may as well ask for my necklace back while I'm at it. And if he doesn't co-operate, I guess I can just give him another kick in the balls…

Squall stood alone on the wooden quay, watching birds fly by and little fish swim. He still hadn't gone back home, and was not willing to, either. He didn't sleep at all the previous night. He managed to buy dinner with the mysterious girl's money, and headed back to the lake. He spent the night sitting against a tree in the moonlight, lost in thought.

He closed his eyes for a moment, not letting himself succumb to the fatigue inside his body. He hadn't had a good night's sleep in days. He felt so useless, so alone … there was nothing for him to do, nobody for him to talk to. The lake was like a second home to him … it brought him comfort, memories of his old days in Winhill with Ellone and Raine…

When he opened his eyes again, he was somewhat startled to see someone standing right next to him, also staring off into the distance of the lake. He blinked twice and stared at the girl next to him, only to realise that this was the same girl whom he had tried to mug the previous day. He felt his stomach do a back flip and wondered what to do. He tried to search his mind, but strangely, it was like his brain was malfunctioning in the girl's presence.

She turned to look at him, her innocent brown eyes looking into his. For a fleeting moment, it felt like she was staring right into his soul; because his stomach did another back flip. Her full lips curved into a pleasant smile, and Squall's stomach did yet another back flip.

"Nice lake, huh?" she said, keeping her smile on. "It's a pretty nice day, too."

Squall quickly broke his stare and turned back to the water, not looking at her. He was about to tell her to leave him alone, but he couldn't find the words or his voice to do it. He tried to keep a straight face on.

"You know who I am, don't you?" he asked quietly.

"Well, actually, I don't," said the girl, "But I do know that you're standing in my special spot."

Squall said nothing. Why is she acting like this? Doesn't she know that I had a knife to her throat yesterday? She really must be stupid…

"I'm sorry if I hurt you yesterday," she said when she was met with silence.

"You didn't hurt me," murmured Squall, shuddering at the memory. He said nothing for a while and wondered if she was going to ask for her money or necklace back. But it turned out that she just kept staring at him with the same sweet smile.

"Why are you here?" asked Squall, when she didn't go away.

The girl sighed dreamily and looked to the lake. "This place … Obel Lake … it's like my second home. A lot of my memories lie here…"

Same here, thought Squall.

For a while, the both of them were lost in silent thought, staring at the peaceful water. Squall suddenly felt the silence awkward. It was what he wanted, but now that he got it, he had the urge for the girl next to him to speak.

"So, what's your name?" she asked at last, turning to look up at him again.

The question took Squall by surprise. He hesitated to tell her for a second. "Squall," he murmured. He was about to ask for the girl's name, but decided against it. It was probably best if he made it look like he wasn't interested.

"Squall," she repeated, "So that would explain your stormy eyes…"

"What?" said Squall suddenly, taken aback by her comment. He looked at her with a slight expression of bemusement.

She said nothing, but just smiled serenely at him and sat down on the edge of the quay, her legs dangling off the side. She patted the spot next to her enthusiastically, beckoning Squall to sit down with her. Squall merely stared down at her with a disapproving look, but his legs gave way and sat himself down. He immediately felt much better, much less tired, as if he forgot how it felt to sit down.

"You look very depressed, Squall," she said.

"Whatever…"

"You do. You shouldn't keep your feelings bottled up, you'll explode one day."

What does it matter to you? Squall didn't reply, but he didn't understand why she was talking to him as if they were best friends. They only just met and they knew absolutely nothing about each other. What's more, he still did not understand why she was acting as if nothing happened the previous day.

"Well?"

"Well what?" snapped Squall.

"Well, aren't you gonna tell me what's on your mind?" she asked, her expression still calm as ever.

"Nothing's on my mind," he mumbled, "Why do you care? You have your own problems, don't you? Why do you care about my problems when you don't even know who I am?"

"I do know who you are," she said simply, "You just told me you were Squall. Unless … that's not who you really are?"

Squall stared at her in disbelief. He had never met anybody like her. Usually when he told people to back off, they did so. But she had some strange comebacks that Squall did not know how to answer back to. So instead of answering back, he said nothing.

"So, what's up, Squall?"

"Nothing!" said Squall, almost shouting. He was getting rather annoyed with the way she insisted on knowing what was wrong with him, because there was nothing wrong with him at all. He hated it when people kept pestering him to know what he was thinking about.

She merely giggled. "All right, all right, no need to bite my head off." She sighed dreamily. "I know … you wouldn't want to tell someone you barely know all your troubles, right?"

"I wouldn't tell anybody, whether I knew them or not," murmured Squall. Oh crap, did I just say that out loud?

"Oh, really?" asked the girl with an amused look on her face. "And why is that, Squall?"

He didn't know what it was … but every time she said his name, Squall felt rather tingly on the inside. He hated that feeling.

"Everyone has their own problems," mumbled Squall, not looking at her, "what favours would it do me if I made someone else's burden heavier with my problems?"

"Well, you see, Squall," she said, making him shudder again at the sound of his own name, "that's what friends are for. They're there for you when you … feel down. What good is a friend if you can't tell them how you feel? And what good is a friend if you don't listen to them?"

Squall laughed hollowly. "Friends. My so-called 'friends' just want something from me. They don't care how I feel, and I don't care how they feel…"

"At least you have some," she said quietly.

Squall looked at her, wondering what she meant by that. No way … she doesn't have any friends? I thought she'd have a whole crowd following her around withthat sickeningly joyfulattitude. I wonder what's wrong with her.

When Squall's ocean eyes met her earthen ones, the girl quickly turned away and looked back to the water, the smile from her face slowly disappearing. Squall wondered if she was reflecting on her own life, her own problems and fears. He felt strange thinking that she had her own troubles, but she actually took the time to ask about his.

Maybe she's different from the others…

Squall turned back to the water. There was a long minute of inept silence. Both of them said nothing, and somehow it felt strange to Squall that the talkative girl he had just met fell silent all of a sudden. Usually, he liked the peace and quiet … but now it felt awkward. Every second, he secretly hoped that the girl next to him would start talking cheerfully again, but still she said nothing.

Squall reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out the chain he ripped off her the previous day. He didn't look at it and just protruded his hand to his left, waiting for the girl to notice it.

She looked at Squall's gloved hand in bemusement, then at him. He wasn't looking at her – he was still staring out into the lake with his emotionless expression.

"It's yours, isn't it?" asked Squall, when she didn't take the necklace.

"Well … yeah," she said, nodding, "I didn't think that … you'd give it back to me."

Squall smirked. "What do you think I am? I'm not a crook, if that's what you're gonna say."

She opened her mouth to say something, but decided against it. She took the necklace from Squall's hand, staring at the rings absentmindedly. They were unscathed, as she had left them. "Thanks…"

Squall shoved his hands back into his pockets and said nothing.

"Um … can you help me put it back on?"

Squall looked back at her and was about to say 'no', but he hesitated when he saw her face smile again. "Uh … sure…"

She pulled her hair to the side and turned to the side so that her back was toward Squall. He took one end of the chain and tried to hook it into the catch. Strangely, he was fumbling clumsily and kept missing, as if his usually co-ordinated hands were refusing to obey him.

"Done yet?"

Squall felt himself flush. "Just … hang on…" He finally managed to put the chain together again and felt at ease when he did. As the girl turned back to the water, Squall did so as well. The question of where she got Griever from was dying to get out – he thought this as a good opportunity to ask.

"Those rings … where did you get them from?" asked Squall.

"Oh, these? Well, this gold one here … it was my mom's wedding ring."

So it's not hers then, thought Squall, I guess this means she doesn't have a boyfriend named Fury either. Wait … why should I care if she has a boyfriend or not?

"She gave it to me before she … um, before she passed away…"

Squall looked at her. He noticed that her smile looked rather forced, because her eyes were filled with sadness. It looked unnatural somehow, and Squall felt himself ache at the look on her face. He wondered what he should have said. After all, he didn't usually talk to people like this … he didn't know how to handle it. He felt like giving his infamous cold-hearted 'get over it' speech, but the words never left his mouth. But he didn't pity her at all, because he didn't have a mother either. All he could offer was understanding … it would be hard, because he just never took the time to understand people.

"Your mom passed away?" he asked.

For a split second, Squall could have sworn that the girl beside him looked startled. When he looked twice, the forced smile on her face only looked more unnatural.

"Yeah," she murmured, "She died when I was eight … in a car accident. She died instantly … but she left me her wedding ring. I carry it around everywhere I go so I don't forget about her…"

I'm glad I gave it back to her then, thought Squall.

There was silence between them, until she spoke up, "So … aren't you going to say 'I'm sorry', or something?"

Squall smirked. "Was I supposed to?"

The girl faced him and smiled genuinely, which somewhat surprised Squall. He was expecting that she was going to go nuts and beg for pity and attention like most people did … but she didn't appear to.

"Most people do," she said, "But I'm glad you didn't. I'm so sick of everyone saying 'I'm sorry' as if it'll make me feel better … but it's just out of pity. I don't need pity, I don't need sympathy … I need a lot more than that…"

Squall nodded in understanding. "I know how it feels…"

"Oh?"

"I hate sympathy too," murmured Squall, trying not to take notice of the raven-haired girl smiling at him. "But … I can't say I feel sorry for you. My mom died when I was eight years old as well. If I feel sorry for you, then it's just like saying I'm feeling sorry for myself. And that's just really … pathetic."

"Your mom died too?" she asked softly.

Squall nodded. "She died during childbirth … the kid didn't survive either." Why am I telling her this again?

"Ah … well, I'm sorry then," said the girl jokingly.

For the first time in a long time, Squall laughed. It was a rather quick one, though. He just couldn't help himself…

The girl grinned when she heard him laugh. The grin disappeared, however, and a serious tone was in her voice again. "But … at least you have your dad, right?"

Squall laughed emptily. "Yeah, right, I have my dad. Could I even call him that? The man doesn't even act like he cares … sure, he says he does all the time, but he was never there for me. He's a moron … it's his fault I'm…" He slowly trailed off, now knowing how to finish his sentence. He couldn't believe that he let himself speak so much about his past and the way he felt. But the words just glided across his tongue ... it just felt so easy to talk to this girl.

"Alone…?" said the girl quietly.

Squall narrowed his eyes at the word, but slowly nodded anyway. "But … I get used to it … I just don't bother expecting anything anymore…"

"You're not alone," said the girl quietly, "My father's a moron too. He acts like mom's death only affects him, as if I'm perfectly fine with it…"

It was quite the opposite with Squall. Laguna never spoke about Raine's death – he acted like it never happened. In fact, he acted as if Raine didn't exist at all, as if she meant nothing to him. He didn't know whose situation was worse, his own or the girl sitting next to him. But somehow, he came to appreciate the girl's company more. There was this mutual understanding between them, something that he did not share with anybody else in the world.

"Well, I guess we're on the same boat," murmured Squall, "dead mothers and moronic fathers…"

The thought was indeed upsetting, but somehow it made the girl next to him laugh. Squall didn't expect it at all. He was expecting that she get angry over his comment, but it was quite the opposite. This surprised Squall too … he couldn't remember the last time he made somebody laugh.

"That's a great way of putting it, Squall," she said brightly.

Squall smiled a small smile, but quickly tried to makeit vanish. He changed the subject, seeing as how they went a little off track from what he originally intended. "What about the other ring?"

"Oh, right," she said. "Well … I don't know what it is, or what it means. My dad gave it to me a really long time ago. When I was about six, I think." She suddenly began to fiddle with the rings on the chain. "He never told me where he got it from. But … I think he said that it meant strength, or something."

"It does," mumbled Squall.

"It does?"

Squall nodded. "It's a lion."

"And does this lion have a name?"

"Yeah … its name is Griever," answered Squall, "But it's not just any lion … it's a guardian force. The strongest guardian force ever."

"Ohh, I see," she said. "And you know this … how?"

"I have the same ring…" Squall showed her his copy of the ring on his finger. "That's why I wondered … where you got yours from…"

"Oh," she said quietly. "And you have it as your pendent too. I thought I recognised it from somewhere."

Squall nodded. "It represents strength, and pride. It's what I like to see myself as…"

She smiled. "I think you are. Strong and proud, I mean."

"You don't even know me," muttered Squall.

"You said that already, and yes, I do know you," she said in a matter-of-fact tone. "You're Squall. And you're strong and proud. You're also quite mysterious, but once someone talks to you enough, you're actually pretty easy to read. You put on a tough act, make it look like you're really strong, but really you're suffering on the inside. I can see right through you, Squall."

Squall stared at her. "How did you…?" He quickly stopped himself. He was not going to tell her that she was right … because she wasn't right. I'm not suffering at all … I'm strong and proud, just like mom and Ellone…

"How did I know?" said the girl, smiling cheekily. Her voice was suddenly eerily soft, "Because you and me are the same…"

"What?" said Squall, not understanding what she meant. We're not the same at all … she's bloody nuts, this girl…

She grinned at him, ignoring his questioning look. "Face it, I know basically everything about you now, which means you're my friend. And remember what I told you about friends? I tell you things, and you tell me things. Got it?"

Squall wanted to argue, but he couldn't find the words. Friends? I tried to mug this girl yesterday and she wants to be friends? This isn't good … it means she wants something. I just know it. That's what all 'friends' do. Even when you think you're the happiest person in the world, in the end, you're always alone. Why should I believe her? She'll just walk out of my life like everyone else does. Like dad, and mom, and Ellone, and all those other so-called 'friends' of mine. What's the point in getting my hopes up when she'll just leave?

"Let me guess … you prefer to be alone?" she said, when Squall didn't say anything. Before he could answer her, she continued on. "Well, let me tell you this, Squall. You can't be alone all your life. Even if people do end up leaving you, at least you can embrace the memory they left behind instead of trying to forget about them and beating yourself up in the process. But me … no, I'll never leave you. Because I'll have nowhere to go! If you just let me be your friend, Squall, I know I can't possibly ever leave you … because you'll probably be the only real friend I'll have. So, what do you say?"

Squall didn't say anything. Nobody ever talks like this to me. Not anymore. This is just plain weird … she's promising that she'll never leave me? She doesn't even know me. She claims to know me, but everyone does … they all claim they know me, but they don't. But then again … she does know more about me than anyone else, and I've only just met her. She says she can read me like a book … I don't want that … I refuse to be a predictable pawn… And besides, I don't even know her. I shouldn't trust her … I just know she'll turn out like everyone else. She'll just ask for something and when she gets it, she'll leave. But then again, she hasn't got friends either. Wait, I'm not pitying her am I?…Oh heck, what is there to lose? We both don't have friends to begin with, and I know we'll just walk out of this as not being 'friends' anymore…

"I don't even know you," mumbled Squall.

"Oh, how rude of me," she said, "My name is Rinoa. Rinoa Heartilly. There, now you know who I am. So, friends then?"

No … don't do it…

Squall hesitated, and suddenly it was like he couldn't hear his brain talking to him anymore. Instead … it might have been his heart speaking to him. "Fine. But you'll regret it."

Rinoa beamed at him. "All right! Then I'll see you tomorrow then, here at Obel Lake. Be here; don't be here … I don't mind reminiscing on these waters alone. Bye then!" She stood up and turned around, walking away with a merry skip in her strut.

Squall watched Rinoa's back disappearing slowly. He wondered what he had just got himself into. Maybe starting anew wasn't so bad after all…

A/N: So, guys! What do you think? Does it sound like something worth continuing? Things will get a lot more interesting after I develop their relationship a bit more. Well,developing the relationship isthe hard bit for me when it comes to AU fics, I like the relationship already having been developed for me so I can get tothe drama straight away (I have limited patience with myself XD). Seriously, how do you guys write AU fics so well? So some advice would be nice. Please tell me what you think! It would be greatly appreciated :-)