I'm looking up at the ceiling. Huh, if this is the basement, why can I see the sky? It's strange. How can a simple color be so blinding? Why does it captivate my mind? Such a bright, blinding blue.
"Ano hi ushinatta aijou ni setsunasa wo oboe
Boku wa senmei na kono sora no aosa ni sukoshi tomadotte."
Those words just suddenly came out of my mouth. I understand them and somehow I know they're from a song. A song about an inerasable sin.
"I remember the painfulness of the love I lost back then
I'm a little perplexed by the vivid blueness of this sky."
Why is this? Why are all these thoughts coursing through my brain? The song and that need to apologize. Why? What did I do?
I think I hear a sound. Yeah, the sound of a slight, rhythmic tapping against a wall. Odd, it sounds familiar.
"With you in my usual sight, I can breath
Even though that's already plenty enough to me . . ."
For some reason, my heart is starting to pound.
"Stop," I whisper.
The singing grows louder.
"The petty me does nothing but repeat mistakes
How strong a strength do I need to have so that nothing will get hurt? Without hesitation, I believe in this love and live on . . ."
Images swim before my eyes. I shut my eyes tight, but these are mental images. There's nothing I can do to block them. I want to cover my ears, but my hands wont' budge. One is holding the book open and the other is moving this pen. Why? Why do I continue to write this song? Why do I continue writing?
Stop! Whoever is singing, please, I beg you to stop! I'll do anything! I'll cry if you just stop singing that song!
"I'll tightly embrace your unbandaged wound
And together we'll keep on walking, because we can't go back
Even now, the inerasable sin deep in my chest hurts, but . . ."
That's what I did! I did do something like that. That's why . . . I can't see very well. I can't see my writing. Oh, so dizzy. What's happening?
"Darling . . ."
"Kesenai Tsumi" has so many translations it's hard to decide which ones to use. There's "Indelible Sin", "Undeniable Sin", "Unerasable Sin", and, of course, "Inerasable Sin". I decided on "indelible" for this chapter because that's the main translation anyway. And it's what "non-erasable" means.