19 Roses
by eliza natsuko

Pairings : TezuFuji

Disclaimers : Do I have to repeat the saddening phrase all the time? Fine! No, not mine.

Summary : Valentine's Day is just around the corner but Fuji suddenly decided to end his realationship with Tezuka. Why would he do that? What mistake did Tezuka did? And what would Tezuka do to prevent the break up?

A/N : Yes, a Valentine fic. The reason there's 19 roses is because in my country, people usually give the quantity of roses ending with the number 9 like 9, 19, 29 and the list goes on. I don't know much about other countries but this is how it is in my place so.. hope you don't mind. Happy reading and Happy St. Valentine's Day, minna!

Fuji still couldn't believe what he saw earlier this afternoon. He was released earlier today. He was holding a bento while making his way to the clubhouse. He thought that he could arrive earlier before the noon practice starts and have a light feast with Tezuka. He was walking to the club house when he heard noises coming from the back of the club house. He hid behind the wall where Echizen usually practiced alone and peeped towards the direction of the noise. He fought the urge to surpass a gasp at the scene before his eyes.

There stood two people. A girl and a guy he recognized so well. The girl was known as Kishimoto Kyoko, his classmate was standing in front of his team captain, Tezuka Kunimistu. They were so close to each other. So close that they were almost touching. Jealousy started to build in Fuji but he kept comforting himself with positive thoughts. In a blink of an eye, Fuji saw the both of them touching, especially the lips. They were KISSING! Kishimoto had her arms around his captain's neck and her lips pressed tightly against his.

Tezuka didn't seemed to respond to the kiss nor the touch but he did not pull away either. It looked as if Kishimoto was the one making the whole process of kissing successful. Raging fire was burning in Fuji. He opened his cerulean eyes. He was a hundred and one percent sure that the guy was Tezuka. Millions of thoughts started flowing in his mind. 'Is Tezuka cheating on me? Is that Tezuka's girlfriend? What will I do if he spots me? How am I supposed to respond? Should I continue my life with him as if nothing happened or am I suppose to end this relationship?' He couldn't stop the flow of questions until he realized two pairs of eyes were staring at him.

'What am I to do now? Walk towards Tezuka and slap him? No.. I can't do that. He's TEZUKA!' Instead, he put on his usual smile, though it was forced, and bowed a little, mouthing an apology. He walked away from the heart-stabbing scene and entered the club house. In less than a minute, the door flung open.

"Fuji, I can explain-"

"Tezuka, I understand. It's normal to see a guy and a girl kissing." Fuji said, maintaining his calm voice. He didn't look at Tezuka. He couldn't. He was afraid that if he did, he couldn't stop the flow of emotions.

"Fuji, it wasn't-" Tezuka rebuked but was cut off again.

"Saa.. Let's not be late for practice, buchou." Fuji walked out of the club house ignoring whatever Tezuka was about to say.

(end of flashback)

Fuji was sitting on his bed replaying the scene he witnessed over and over again. Drops of tears streamed down his cheeks forming two thin lines from his eyes all the way down to his chin. He was deep in his thoughts wondering how he would face Tezuka when they were to meet tomorrow when his phone started to ring.

"Moshi moshi?" his voice was hoarse.

"Syuusuke? Are you crying?"

Fuji immediately recognized the all-too-familiar voice. "No. I'm not." He answered shortly.

"Syuusuke, listen to me. Please."

"Tezuka Kunimistu, I saw everything. My eyes don't deceive me." Fuji's voice rose. He was feeling so miserable that he couldn't describe how he felt. He was angry, mad and vindictive. At the same time, he was sad, disappointed and vulnerable.

"I know you won't listen to whatever I am about to say but it's the truth. Please.. Listen to me." Tezuka pleaded. Fuji didn't respond. Tezuka sounded as if he was begging and Fuji knew very well that Tezuka WOULD NEVER beg. Tezuka continued.

"It isn't what you think it is. I bumped into her while I was on my way to the club house. That was why we were so close to each other." He took a deep breath and continued. "I was about to apologize and I swear I didn't expect that kiss from her. There's nothing between her and me. Nothing." Still, Fuji didn't reply. "Syuusuke, trust me. I did not and do not want to kiss her. Please believe me."

"Why didn't you push her away then?" Logic began to strike Fuji when he replayed the scene in his mind again. He remembered that Kishimoto was the one kissing Tezuka but why didn't Tezuka push her away? Why?

"Syuusuke, she's a girl." Tezuka replied. 'Yes. Tezuka wouldn't hurt a girl.' Fuji thought and he kept quiet for a while.

"Ok, fine. It was my fault that I didn't try my best to avoid that kiss. I'm sorry. Do you forgive me now?" Tezuka sounded desperate which made Fuji chuckled. Tezuka gave out a small relief sigh when he heard that chuckle.

"Fine! This will be the last excuse and no more after this alright?" Fuji said in a serious yet playful tone.

"Hai. Hai. Who would kiss that girl when I have a more kissable and sweet one to taste?" Tezuka said half jokingly.

"Mou! Mitsu!" Tezuka could imagine Fuji blushing furiously. "Promise that you'll never repeat the same mistake alright?"

"Of course. That will be the first and the last. I promise."

-&-

The bell rang minutes ago to indicate that the day has ended for academic classes and it was time for extra-curricular activities. Fuji had not met Tezuka for the whole day. He was up late this morning and by the time he reached school, the morning practice had ended. He made his way to the tennis court and was relief that Tezuka wasn't there yet. A smirk appeared on his lips when cunning plans of making Tezuka reduce his laps (since he didn't attend morning practice) crossed his mind. He walked as quietly as he could so that he could surprise Tezuka.

'Are? Where's Mitsu?' Fuji looked around but saw no signs of his beloved captain. He decided that Tezuka might be in the Student Council meeting room preparing meeting proposals for the next meeting. He used the shorter path which was the back way of the club house to the next block to avoid crowded areas. Once again, he spotted the two figures he saw yesterday behind the club house but this time, they were in a more intimate position.

There stood Tezuka with his arms around Kishimoto's small waist. Kishimoto had her hands on top of Tezuka's bigger one, more like holding Tezuka's hand in place. Their lips were sealed. They were pressed against each other that even the tiniest micro-organism couldn't pass through them. Fuji was mad. 'He promised, didn't he? Or was I dreaming last night?' He became furious when Kishimoto tip toed to deepen the kiss. Fuji was fighting the tears that were threatening to fall and tried to back away. Before he could even escape the scene, Tezuka's eyes spotted him. Fuji put on a fake mask and smiled sweetly at Tezuka.

"Buchou, I just came to tell you that I can't attend practice today. I'm not feeling well." With that, Fuji left the both of them. Tezuka didn't fail to miss the crystal drop that fell from Fuji's eyes.

"Fuji!" Tezuka chased after him. He grabbed Fuji's arm. "Fuji!"

"I know. You bumped into her again and you caught her by the waist when she was falling, right?" Tezuka was speechless. Fuji was very mad. He knew that Fuji was VERY mad at him. Fuji jerked Tezuka's hand away and continued to make his way back home.

"No. Fuji, I.." Tezuka caught Fuji by his arm again.

"Buchou, I'm not feeling well and I wish to rest at home." Fuji said politely, avoiding any eye contact with Tezuka. He walked away from the tennis court, away from the school and perhaps away from the relationship he had with Tezuka.

-&-

Tezuka called Fuji countless times that night. However, his calls were either unanswered or rejected but he never gave up. He kept calling until he couldn't get through. 'He switched off his phone, ka?' Tezuka placed his phone on his desk and buried his face into his palms. 'Kami-sama, what did I do wrong to deserve this?' Finally, Tezuka decided to pay Fuji a visit, although he knew that Fuji would not see him or listen to his explanation.

'I promised, didn't I? Was it my fault? But I didn't want that to happen either. Iie! I made my promise. It WAS my fault. I'll make sure Fuji listens to my explanation at any cost.' With his mind set up, Tezuka made his way to Fuji's Residence.

-&-

"Ah! Tezuka-san, what brought you here?" Fuji Yumiko opened the door for Tezuka.

"I'm here to see Fuji." Tezuka corrected himself. "I mean Fuji Syuusuke."

"Oh. He has been acting weird since he came back from school. He locked himself in the room and refuses to come out for dinner. I wonder what has gotten into him?" Yumiko pondered for a while. "Hold on, I'll get him."

"That won't be necessary. I'll get him myself." Tezuka offered.

"Well.. Alright. He's in his room. The first room on your left."

Tezuka followed Yumiko's instructions and search for Syuusuke's room. He stopped in front of the door with a board hanging on it. It was written 'Syuusuke's Room'. He took a deep breath and knocked twice on the door and opened it.

"I'm not hungry, neesan." Fuji said from behind the covers.

"Fuji." Fuji uncovered himself when he heard Tezuka's voice. His eyes showed that he was shocked but he quickly dismissed it by covering himself again.

"What are you doing here? Leave me alone."

"I'm here to explain what happened."

"Enough of your excuses. I'll not listen to any of it." Fuji pulled the blanket down, revealing his face. "I understand that it's hard to maintain a secret relationship but all you need to do is to tell me that you're not comfortable with me and that you need a break. That's all." Fuji turned away from Tezuka, facing the wall.

"No, Syuusuke. That's not the problem. I did not kiss her! She attacked me!" Tezuka tried to explain but he knew very well that Fuji, in the current state he was, would not buy any of his explanation.

"Yes, Tezuka." Tezuka suddenly felt cold. It wasn't Kunimistu or Mistu. It's just Tezuka. "You didn't kiss her. She did and all you did was to hold her closer to you, am I right?"

"Syuusuke.. Please.. Believe me. It was her that kissed me. I was walking to the club house when she attacked me. I swear I did not do anything to let you down." Tezuka continued.

"Sure. She attacked you and you had your arms around her protectively and allowed her to deepen the kiss." Fuji still wasn't looking at Tezuka. His face was unseen to Tezuka.

"I know whatever I say now is pointless but please just for once, trust me Syuusuke."

"I trusted you." Fuji paused for a second and continued in a softer voice. "You just don't believe that I trusted you."

"Syuu… I'm serious here." Tezuka took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose before putting them back. "Stop being childish."

"Childish? How do you expect me to forgive and forget everything when my boyfriend kissed another girl! Not once but TWICE! I've forgiven you once Tezuka but I'm afraid that it might occur again if I forgive you now." Fuji finally turned and looked at Tezuka. "You told me once that we need to keep our relationship a secret because it might banish your reputation. But sometimes it makes me think that you just want to avoid the embarrassment of being with a BOY. I console myself every time that you're not accepting me out of force."

"No.. Syuusuke. That's not the reason." Tezuka stopped when Fuji finally looked at him straight in the eye. Fuji looked so vulnerable. He looked so weak and helpless. His eyes and nose were red from all the crying and stains of dried tears were replaced when droplets of tears rolled down his cheeks. Tezuka walked closer to Fuji and wanted to embrace him and whisper soothing words into his ears, telling him everything is alright but Fuji refused his touch.

"Tezuka, I'm trying to forget everything that happened between us."

'No.. Syuusuke.. Please don't tell me..'

"All you need to do was to tell me that you're straight."

'Syuusuke, please don't say that word.'

"I'm hurt enough. I can't stand it any longer… I can't…"

'Kami-sama, please I beg of you. Please let there still be 'us'.'

"Tezuka, I think it would be better if we…"

'NO! No Syuusuke, NO!'

"If we remain as just.. friends." Fuji added in a low tune. Tezuka felt thousands of needles piercing through him. He could hear sniffs and sobs from Fuji.

"No.. Syuusuke. You have to believe me. I-"

"I believe you, Tezuka. I always did. Can you leave me alone? Please?" Fuji returned to his original position, under the covers. Tezuka knew it was pointless to talk to Fuji now. He knew Fuji was serious about ending their relationship. He had never seen Fuji in the current state he was before. Fuji never looked so vulnerable and as far as he could remember, the last time Fuji cried was when he was 7. Tezuka went home feeling as miserable as ever.

-&-

Fuji tried to escape from Tezuka through out the whole morning during practice. Though Fuji still smiled like nothing happened and greeted Tezuka when they met at the club house, Tezuka knew Fuji was forcing himself to do so. Perhaps for the sake of forgetting the event or maybe for the sake of Tezuka. Tezuka's heart clenched tighter when he saw that. No words were exchanged during practice. No eye contact, no verbal exchanges.

"Fuji! Fuji!" The always hyperactive Kikumaru jumped towards Fuji. They were walking back to their class from the canteen. "Why didn't you have lunch with Tezuka, nya?"

"Saa.. He's busy." Fuji lied.

"Hmm? Really? I thought I saw him in his classroom?" Kikumaru blinked his big eyes and placed his finger on his temple, thinking for a while.

"That's why he's busy."

"Busy sitting in the class? Fuji! You don't make sense, nya!" the cat-like youth whine. "By the way, I overheard buchou's conversation with a girl." He snickered. "Do you want to know what I heard?" Kikumaru continued when he received no reply from his best friend. "He asked Kishimoto to meet him after school in the Student Council meeting room! Doesn't that sound fishy to you? Might she be…" Kikumaru gasped. "Buchou's girlfriend?"

Fuji winced inwardly. He still felt hurt albeit ending his relationship with Tezuka. "Eiji, if we don't hurry up, we'll get punished." Fuji avoided the question.

Fuji couldn't concentrate in class. His mind kept wondering into the Student Council meeting room. Images of Tezuka kissing Kishimoto in the room kept playing in his mind. 'Should I go later? It would be wrong to eavesdrop but.. I just.. Tezuka is just so.. Urgh! Forget about it, alright? Fuji Syuusuke, forget everything!'

The school bell rang. Fuji was, as usual, walking to the club house but he took a different route today. He used the route that passes the Student Council meeting room. His legs automatically stopped right in front of the aforementioned room door. He heard noises from the inside. It's Tezuka and Kishimoto. No mistake about it. He walked closer to the door to listen to their conversation.

"Kishimoto-san, the reason I asked you to meet me here is to clear things up." Fuji heard a manly voice said.

"What is there to clear? Isn't it obvious that I love you?" was the reply, the voice of a female.

"I'm very flattered but I'm sorry I already have a lover." Fuji eyes widened. "And things between us is now unstable because of your.. attack."

'Tezuka.. I.. I thought you always wanted to keep our relationship as a secret?'

"He caught you kissing me and there was a misunderstanding going on." Tezuka continued.

"He..?" The other voice sounded shocked.

"Yes. He. I'm sorry to let you know but I have a different sexual preference. So, I wish you wouldn't be the third party to break us up. I need you to stop attacking me with… those kisses." Tezuka ended awkwardly.

'Tezuka.. you admitted.. that.. that you have a boyfriend? Tezuka…'

It was quiet for a while then there was a burst. "Why? I'm sure I'm better then whoever your lover may be! I'm the prettiest in school and I'm a top student. What more do you expect from me?" Sniffles could be heard.

"Yes, you may be the prettiest, the brightest and perhaps the most perfect lover one could have but in my eyes, he is the most beautiful both physically and mentally. No one ever captured me as much as he did and no one will. He is the only one for me." Fuji fought the urge to cry when he heard that. He leaned against the wall and covered his mouth with his palms.

"Fine.." Kishimoto gave up. "But I wish to know one last thing before I leave you alone. Who is the 'he' you're talking about?" Fuji's heart beat faster and faster every second. It took Tezuka a while before answering…

"Fuji… Fuji Syuusuke."

'Kunimistu! I don't know what to say anymore.' Tears started to drop. Fuji wasn't sad but touched by what Tezuka said. 'After what happened yesterday… He still..' Fuji quickly hid himself in the room next to the Student Council meeting room when he heard the door click. Luckily, no one was in the room. Fuji stayed in the room. He felt guilty for not trusting what Tezuka said and for ending their relationship without thinking. He was full of guilt and regret and yet, he was glad that he heard their conversation. Or else, he might still be hating Tezuka. 'It's my fault! It's all my fault for not trusting him!'

-&-

It's the 14th of February today. A day that couples enjoy the most and waited for the longest. Fuji can't believe that he actually broke up with Tezuka a day before Valentines Day. He was supposed to spend the whole day today with Tezuka if he wasn't that stupid to say that one miserable word. Even the teacher in his class wasn't in the mood to teach. The class was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Sumimasen, is Fuji Syuusuke-san in this class?" A man holding roses asked.

"Ah.. Hai… I am Fuji Syuusuke." Fuji stood up.

"Fuji-san, here's a delivery for you. Please sign here." The florist handed Fuji the roses and a piece of paper for Fuji to sign. "Thank you and please enjoy your day." With that, he walked out of the class and closed the door behind him.

Everyone's eyes were on Fuji. Soft whispers could be heard around him. Fuji walked back to his seat and looked for the sender's card. He pulled out a card from in between the blood red roses. The writing in the card looked undoubtedly familiar.

'If I know what love is… It's because of you.'

The message was as simple as that. Kikumaru bounced toward Fuji. "Fuji! Who send you this, nya?" he counted the roses. "16 roses? Weird.." Kikumaru snatched the card away from Fuji and read it. "Mistu? Who's Mistu nya, Fuji?" Fuji didn't answer but just smiled sweetly. After a few seconds, Kikumaru's expression changed. "Fuji.. MASAKA! Mistu is…! AHH!" And Fuji continued to smile.

School had ended. There was no practice that day. 'Even if there was one, 89.99 of the people present would be only the regulars.' According to Inui and thus, Tezuka canceled it. Fuji walked alone to his locker. Kikumaru bounced away saying something like he was supposed to meet Oishi for ice-cream if Fuji was not mistaken. He was too happy to listen to Kikumaru then. His ears were blocked ever since he received the roses. 'But 16 roses? That's weird.'

Fuji opened his locker and chocolates from his fan club fell out. It happened every year. He kept all the sweets and chocolates in a bag he brought but deep in his locker, something caught his eyes. He reached for that 'thing' and pull it out from his locker. A rose. And a card fell out.

'A second chance is all ask
A chance to explain to you
That when we broke up
Deep inside, I didn't want to

You're the only one
Who has made me happy
You're the only one
Who makes me feel so alive

I know you might not care
But the love I have for you
It's real
More real than anything

I've tried to move on
But I can't just yet
Something in my heart says
That things don't have to be this way

I know its going to take time
But lets start over, rebuild our trust
You don't have to say you love me
Just please, I beg of you
give me one last chance
A chance for love again.'

Fuji checked for the sender, it was Mitsu. He smiled from ear to ear. 'I didn't know Tezuka can be so romantic.' He placed the rose he just received with the earlier ones. 'There's 17 roses now.' Feeling happier than before, Fuji walked back home with a bouquet of blood red, elegant roses lying proudly on his arms.

As soon as he reached home, by the door, rest another rose with a paper underneath it. Fuji took the piece of paper and the first thing he did was to look at the name of the sender. 'It's the same. From: Mitsu.' But this time, the message was different. It's about them.

'I haven't lived for very long
My face is fresh with youth
But as long as I've living
I've never felt a love so true

I'm silly with teenage life
But my love is not so new
As if my heart has melt
When I found my love so true

I hope this is the real thing
Cause I only feel it with you
I hope to forever with you
My dear you are a love so true.'

Fuji was somehow amused at how well Tezuka's poetry was. He picked up the rose, put it into the bouquet and counted them again. '18 roses. Which means.. There's one more.' Fuji became more alert and looked for the one missing rose around him. None. He was pretty sure Tezuka would put it somewhere unseen to his eyes. He ignored it thinking maybe there were only 18 roses after all. He headed to his room and almost dropped his bouquet of roses when his eyes met a pair of familiar hazels ones.

"Syuusuke. Okaeri. I've been waiting for you." Tezuka stood in the middle of Fuji's room with his hands behind him and a gentle smile on his face.

"Tadaima…" Fuji was still shocked. "What are.."

"Ah. I'm here to give you this." Tezuka took out a rose from his back. "Happy Valentines Day, Syuu."

Fuji accepted the rose, although still a little surreal about what just happened. "There's no sender." 'Of course not, baka! It's from the person standing in front of you!' Fuji scolded himself.

Tezuka walked closer to Fuji. "It's from me." He stopped walking when they're only one feet apart. "Syuusuke, I know it was my fau-"

"Eh… Wouldn't it banish your reputation to expose our relationship to public? Hm, Mitsu? 40 pairs of eyes witnessed the scene in my class this morning." A teasing smile was craved on Fuji's lips.

'Our relationship? Mistu? I'm forgiven?'

"Your messages are very deep, Mitsu. I don't understand them. Mind telling me the meaning?" Tezuka finally got the rules of Fuji's game. 'Eh? So this is how you want it t be huh, Syuu? Fine..' A smile appeared on Tezuka's face. A smile that only Fuji was allowed to see. Tezuka decided to play along with Fuji.

"It's simple. Syuu… It means…" Tezuka walked closer and closer to Fuji until there's no space left between them. He wrapped his arms around Fuji and said, "I love you and that's final." Followed by a passionate liplock.

'19 roses. Yes.. 19 of them.'

The poem and quote wasn't written by me. It was taken somewhere in the net. Once again, Happy Valentine's Day! Thanks for reading and reviews are loved.