Title: Things Unspoken
Author: Jayta
Rating: PG18 - may contain some coarse language
Show: One Tree Hill
Chapter One: Saying Goodbye
"Things are so different now," Royal muttered, as he stared down at the mound of fresh dirt that held his wife. "So different."
Her death had been sudden. They had been traveling across country when she had her fatal heart attack. It was in her sleep, so he didn't even have the chance to say goodbye.
"C'mon Dad," Keith coaxed, slipping his arm around his father. "We'll take you home."
"Just leave me be!" He swatted his eldest son's arm away, as his eyes remained fixed upon his wife's grave.
Keith glanced over at Dan, who had been surprisingly quiet all day, with the exception of politely greeting the mourners with a strained smile. This whole day had been hard. He never imagined his mother leaving them so soon. Death wasn't even in the back of his mind.
"Dad, we have to go back to the house. People are coming over and," Dan sighed, "Mom wouldn't have wanted us to keep them waiting."
"What do you know about what your mother wanted?" Royal spun around and glared at his youngest son - the one who had shown so much promise and had the drive to be anything and everything. His greatest disappointment. "Do you know how much heartache you caused your mother when you froze her out?" he spat, pressing his finger into Dan's chest. "She talked about it every night. She'd say how you'd eventually come around; the next time she phoned you would be willing to speak to her instead of getting your secretary to take a message."
"Dad, calm down," Keith said, pulling his father off of Dan.
"No, don't bother," Dan growled, pushing his father back. "Let him talk."
"You don't know what I have to say to you boy!"
"Oh I have a few choice words to say to you too, Dad." Dan shook his head in disgust. "You stand there in judgment of me when you had the audacity to walk away without hearing the whole story!" he shouted. "Mom just told you a half truth."
"Dan, don't do this now." Keith couldn't believe that they were going into this now. He glanced at his mother's grave. At least she wasn't here to see this repeat performance.
"Hey, Dad's the one who started it," Dan said, pointing at their father. "I'm just defending myself."
"What's there to defend?" Royal shook his head. "Look at you! You couldn't even keep your family from falling apart. Did you see how your sons walked away from their own grandmother's graveyard service without speaking to you?"
"Son."
"Sons. You do have two sons."
"C'mon you guys. Stop it!" Keith said, throwing his hands up in frustration. "We've just lost Mom and you're going to do this? We've got people expecting us and you're going to have a fight at Mom's grave."
"No Keith, this is long overdue." Softening, Royal turned around and placed his hands on his oldest son's shoulders. "You were always better at these things than I was. Got that from your mom, I guess" he mumbled. Shaking his head he smiled. "Why don't you head back home and take care of the family and friends that will be stopping by?"
"Without you?"
"Of course," Dan spat. "He can't pass up a chance to tell me how disappointed he is in me for passing up a chance of a lifetime." Both Royal and Keith's gaze turned to Dan. "How I was wrong!"
"Go," Royal said, turning to Keith again. "I'll be there in a bit."
Keith furrowed his brow, uncertain he should leave Dan and their father alone. Knowing both their explosive tempers, he also knew there was a possibility that it could come to blows. "I'll go, but if both of you don't show up in ten, I'm sending in backup," he said half jokingly.
"Yeah." Royal nodded, his gaze locked with Dan's. "We'll be there."
>>>
"So where do you want to start?" Dan asked darkly, prepared for the worst. "How about we start with what a big failure I am as a son? You know, since I did lie to you about a career-ending injury. Or how about what a big disappointment I am as a family man?"
"But of course, I couldn't take all the credit for that, can I? I mean, I did have you as a role model."
Royal stared at the stranger in front of him. He didn't even know his son anymore. The rage and bitterness etched on Dan's face was disturbing and even...heartbreaking.
The anger and fight had gone out of him. Royal was not going to blame Dan for lying to him. He glanced at May's grave. For once he would listen to what she had been trying to hammer into his head for decades.
'Truly take a good look at your son, Royal. Do you really think your criticisms are what he really needs right now? His life is falling apart around him.'
"No," he said to himself.
"Dan, I'm not going to do this."
"What? The freshly turned soil of my mother's grave turning your stomach?" Dan said maliciously. "If so, we could go to someone else's grave and do it there."
Royal narrowed his eyes and forced himself to keep from throttling his son. "When did you become such a bastard, Dan?"
"Takes one to know one."
"You know I don't even recognize you."
"I'm the same guy I always was."
"No," Royal shook his head, "you're not."
"Well what can I say?" Dan shrugged, caught off balance at his father's change in demeanor. "You should be proud. I've become more my father's son - rigid, demanding and unforgiving."
"Oh Danny boy, you're so wrong. You're so wrong."
"Really?"
"And I'm going to prove it to you."
"And how are you going to do that?" Dan laughed in disbelief. "It's not like I'm sticking around this pathetic little hick town of yours any longer than it took to bury Mom."
"Because I'm tired of saying goodbye, Dan," Royal sighed.
Narrowing his eyes, Dan did not like the sound of this. He cocked his head and folded his arms across his chest. "What are you talking about?"
"I'm coming home to Tree Hill, Danny boy."
>>>>>>
"So how was the service?" Karen tried to keep her cool as Nathan, Haley and Lucas walked into the cafe.
She was shocked When Lucas told her that May had passed away; and when Nathan asking him whether he wanted to go, she was doubly shocked when her son's answer had been yes.
"Surprisingly unlike a Scott family affair," Nathan said, slipping onto a stool beside Lucas. "It was really nice. Everything my Grams liked." He paused and glanced at Lucas. "Uh, sorry."
"Nah," Lucas said softly. "It's not like I really knew her, right?"
Karen felt little pin pricks upon her heart. Even though he tried to hide the loss and disappointment, she knew that his mind raced with questions about May. Part of her knew this would happen when Lucas told her about this deep need to go say goodbye to a grandmother he never knew. "You guys are home pretty early?"
"Well I didn't feel like sticking around." Lucas looked over at Nathan and Haley.
"And we didn't want to cause a scene at the burial site," Haley added.
"Because we know that is what would happen if we had said anything to my Dad."
"So you didn't even get to give your condolences to Royal?" Karen felt all three pairs of eyes on her. "What?"
"You sound like you knew Dan's parents pretty well, Mom." Lucas raised a questioning brow. "I mean to be on a first name basis with them? How come you never really talked about them with me?" he asked curiously.
She bit the inside of her cheek, wishing she hadn't opened her mouth. "Of course I knew them," Karen said slowly, lowering her eyes, concentrating on cleaning the juice stain on the counter. "I mean, we talked a little bit when I dated Dan back in high school."
"But isn't it a little more than that when you're on a first name basis?" Haley asked curiously. She glanced at Nathan, who seemed to also be curious about Karen's relationship to his grandparents, especially after Royal's visit to the cafe.
Karen noticed the looks Nathan and Haley were giving to each other. "Look, Nathan, you know what a sweet woman your grandmother was," she said, choosing her words carefully. "They insisted on me calling them Royal and May."
"I guess," Nathan said hesitantly, noticing how uncomfortable Karen had suddenly become. "They were kind of informal with everyone."
"Yeah." Haley nodded, giving her the benefit of the doubt. "I mean your grandfather insisted I call him Royal when I met him."
As the conversation swirled around him, Lucas felt himself grow restless. Everyone seemed to have some sort of idea what Royal...His own biological grandfather was like except him. Pushing himself up from the counter, he sighed. "Excuse me," he muttered. "I just have to get out of here."
Karen watched helplessly as Lucas stormed into the back, and jumped when the back door slammed.
"I'm sorry, Mrs. Rowe," Nathan apologized. "I didn't mean to go on like that. I just..."
Karen shook her head and smiled, resting her hand on his. "You just lost your grandmother," she said. "You shouldn't apologize for needing to talk about her."
"I thought maybe he would like to hear some of the things said about her. I mean, he really didn't get the chance to know her," he paused, as a lump developed in his throat. "And she was so...so great."
Haley slipped her arms around him, as he turned and welcomed her embrace. "Oh Nathan," she whispered, kissing the top of his head.
Karen backed away, giving Nathan the time to deal with his grief. She understood why Nathan felt that way about May. Dan and Keith's mother was warm, and a breath of fresh air. She had this ability to make anyone feel special, like she wanted to know everything about them.
She slipped into the back and began cleaning up the small keepsake boxes she had brought out earlier in the afternoon. Many were boxes filled with pictures sent to her by old friends, or her own photographs during the year after graduation. Karen paused before one box. It was lavender with doodles of flowers on it.
Cradling it carefully in her arms, Karen slipped the top of the box off to reveal a pile of letters wrapped in lavender ribbon. The address did not belong to Tree Hill. In fact, several were from different addresses completely. They were filled with adventures and also misadventures; they asked probing questions about her and her son, requesting pictures and monthly reports. But all of them were from the same person - the same woman.
Suddenly her knee buckled from underneath her and she fell back onto the couch behind her. As she fingered the smooth, practised writing on the envelope, Karen felt her throat close and the floodgates open. A woman who had been her friend and almost a mother to her for part of her life was gone. Her body convulsed as the uncontrollable tears now ran down her cheeks. Placing her hand across her mouth, she stifled her cries, knowing Haley and Nathan could still be out there.
How could you go? How could you say goodbye before you could even say hello again?