Title: Things Unspoken
Author: Jayta
Rating: PG18 - may contain some coarse language
Show: One Tree Hill
A/N: I'm dying. Dyyyyyying. Would that get me out of writing? I have so many fics on the go and after that Season Finale, I'm about to throw in the towel:pout: Dan is not dead. Dan is not dead. Gah! Okay, onto notes. Um, just wanted to thank the small contingent who bother to read this. I appreciate it. Really. You have no idea. It takes a lot of inspiration and encouragement to actually sit down and sludge through some of this stuff. THANKS BUNCHES!
Chapter Five: The Truth of Secrets
Lucas had been silent for days. It was so unlike him; until Haley finally mentioned the fact that he had gone over to Royal's house. After several minutes, she managed to coax the truth out from Haley that Nathan had invited the team to Royal's house and the short conversation with Nathan afterwards.
As she watched and waited to see if Lucas would emerge from this self-imposed silence, it wasn't until day four, which Karen finally decided she needed to step in.
"Lucas."
His tall lean frame wavered as he paused under the doorframe, trying to quickly exit from their small living quarters. "Yeah Mom?" His voice feigned sweet and light, but the tiredness still weighted his words.
"Could you sit down for a minute?" Karen motioned to the familiar area where most of their late night chats were held, around a small dining room table, within the small kitchen.
"Aw Mom," Lucas tilted his head, unable to withhold his reluctance. "C'mon. Whitey'll skin me alive if I miss our first pre-season meeting!"
"He'll understand," she answered slightly bemused. "I'll even have a little chat with him if he gives you any problems."
"Har. Har." Lucas' face suddenly blanched. "You're kidding, right?"
Karen just rolled her eyes and chuckled. "Sit down, will you?" She pointed at the chair in front of her.
She watched as her son slumped down into the chair, his eyes glazed and his attention already waning. Just the start she wanted.
"I've been noticing lately that you haven't been hanging out with the guys from the team lately," she began slowly. "Or Nathan. Or even Haley."
"Mo-om." His low tone warned of his sudden disdain for the subject at hand.
"Lucas, I know what Nathan did hurt you, but you know deep down that he didn't mean it that way."
"I don't want to talk about this." He started to get up, but she grabbed his shoulder and sat him back down.
"I think this is something we need to talk about," she said, licking her suddenly dry lips. "Because as much as you hate to hear it, Nathan was just trying to spare your feelings."
"Mine?" Lucas scoffed. "Or his grandfather's?"
"Your grandfather, too." The words stuck in the back of her throat, but she managed to force them out.
His brow rose in a mixed expression of surprise and skepticism. "Since when did you ever refer to him as my grandfather?" he asked irritably. "You practically shunned all that was in the name of 'Scott'."
"Not everything."
"Almost as good as lately," Lucas shot back.
Karen was taken aback. She knew the subtle jab referred back to her situation with Keith; but she never knew how much it had hurt him personally until now. And that hurt her.
She swallowed hard, unable to speak. And by the expression on his face, he now regretted the harsh words he had spoken.
"You know things in life aren't always a fairy tale, Lucas," she sighed. "And I never promised you anything like that."
"Mom, I know." Lucas leaned towards her. His expression reminded her of when he was just a boy, and how he had this look utmost concern and love, when they would stroll downtown through the whispers of gossip mongers. "It's just I need to work through this on my own. And people need to stop treating me like I'm going to break if and when I hear Dan's name or even Royal's."
"Well, by the looks of how you're taking what Nathan did, people should?" She smirked.
"All right," he sighed. "Point taken. But Mom, how was I supposed to act? They went behind my back, and I can't stand that."
Karen blanched at his words. She could not imagine how he would take the fact that she had been sneaking around helping Royal with his house, as well as keeping the knowledge that May and Royal had sought out information about him over the years.
"Mom?"
"Hmm?" She looked up at Lucas, who had this curious expression on his face.
"Are you all right? You kind of zoned out there for a minute."
Smiling, she nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine," she said, waving her hand dismissively at him. "Y-you should be getting to that meeting. You know, Whitey'll kill you for being late."
"H-hey, you..." His jaw dropped in feigned disbelief, as he stood up to leave. "It's your faul..."
"Get going," she interrupted with a laugh, practically pushing him out the door. "You're going to be late."
Once out the door, Karen slumped back into her chair. Thoughts drifted to Royal and what his renewed presence had meant to both she and Lucas. Things were complicated even more than before.
Before they had only Dan's disregard and contempt to deal with. Now they had to deal with a whole new aspect of her past - Royal's growing influence in Lucas' life. Whether from a distance or in close proximity, Karen was sure that sooner or later he was going to ask the awful question she had been putting off for so long.
>>>>>>
"Can I see my grandson - is a question I need to ask you?" Royal scoffed in disbelief.
"You were thinking it," Dan declared confidently. "I could read it in your face last night."
"And even if it was, how is it any of your doggone business?"
Royal was ready slap his son up-side the head for his thickheadedness. It had been 17 years since Karen had won that battle; and Dan wasn't ready to forget it.
"He is no son of mine and there is no way you should be sticking your nose in where it doesn't belong."
"He is flesh of your flesh, so it is my damn business!" Royal said accusingly. "And just because Karen had the smarts and the guts to fight you on it because you chose Debra doesn't mean you do not have a son."
"She made that choice the day she filed for sole custody."
"You made that choice for her."
Royal studied his son as he stewed in his resentment and bitterness over the loss of his firstborn. He knew that he loved Lucas. There was no Scott that could deny love for his own flesh, no matter how loudly he protested. He knew Dan lost so much that day when their family lawyer explained to him that if it were to come to a custody fight, Karen would win. His heartached for his boy that day.
"And I am telling you to stay out of my business."
"You may not want to acknowledge him publicly, Dan, but I know in your heart that you love him." Royal wished he could shake some sense into the boy.
"Good one, Dad," he scoffed. "Nice sentimentality, as well. I was waiting for the single tear to trickle down your face."
"You can't fool me. I know you want to know your son, but you've gotten too proud to even admit that much.
"You don't know what the hell you're talking about," Dan said dismissively. "I've stayed away because over the years I realized what mediocrity I spawned in Lucas. In Nathan I have found greatness."
"Greatness?" Royal hadn't realized how deluded Dan had begun to sound until now. "He's your son. Don't talk about him like he's some distant celebrity or some creation in the works," he barked. "No wonder he left you. No wonder Deb left you."
"Well, have you ever taken the time to listen to yourself talk? Where do you think I learned it all from?"
"Don't you blame this on me. Your life may slightly reflect our influence, but they were your damn choices; and I'm not going to take the credit for it."
"Well," Dan smiled lazily. "I guess we're at an impass then, huh, Dad?"
"I don't see the problem." Royal shrugged. No matter how much Dan despised him for it - though he would eventually thank him - he would know both of his grandsons. "As long as Karen gives her permission, I'm going to be in Lucas' life," he said pointedly. "And you can either get with the program or continue to dig yourself into that hole you're neck-high in."
"Why don't you worry about your other son, because I'm doing just fine."
Royal knew those words were a lie. He saw what was happening right in front of him...in front of Dan, and he was sick of all the pleasantries. He was sick of the arms-length relationship that he had with his entire family. "No, you're not Danny," he sighed. Pushing his son away like this was his only hope to save him. Royal prayed Dan would forgive him for what he was about to do. "And though you're going to hate me, I'm going to trust that you just don't see it right now."
>>>>>>
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Dan raged as he pushed his way past Karen as she answered her door with a stunned and annoyed expression on her face. "What kind of mindgames are you trying to play?" he asked in an accusing tone. "Can't you take a hint?"
Karen was stunned. When she heard the doorbell, she had no idea what kind of malstrom she would be letting into her house. "Excuse me?" she spat, folding her arms across her chest. "I don't think I even invited you in."
"Well you seem to be a whole hell of a lot friendlier than I remember," he said angrily. "Inviting yourself into other people's lives without their consent."
He had heard enough from his father earlier that afternoon. It was insanity that his father was even considering making himself a part of Lucas' life. He had made damn sure to put more than enough distance and obstacles in the way for Lucas to even consider speaking to him. He had weakened earlier this year, but he had strengthened his resolve to stay out of the boy's life.
"I don't know that you're talking about," Karen exclaimed incredulously, throwing her hands up in the air for emphasis. "Now get the hell out of my house!"
"You're not getting out of this that easily," he declared, shaking his head. "You invited my father to be apart of Lucas' life? What the hell are you thinking? I don't want any part of the boy, and now you've somehow weaseled your way into my father's life?"
"Now you just wait a minute!" she cried out, holding out one finger at Dan. Her heart was racing from the surprise, shock and now fear of Dan's words. "I did not invite Royal into Lucas' life. Don't even think that for one minute."
"Then why is my father asking about Lucas? Hmm?" He glared at her. "Why is he jumping down my throat about a boy that you never gave me access to?" he said through gritted teeth. "Because it sure isn't because he's found a conscience."
He had managed to keep his distance. It had been easier that way. And now his father was demanding to make room for Lucas in his life?
Oh hell, no.
He had put this life behind him. He had let the life he was supposed to have with Karen and Lucas behind him when he chose Deb. He had Nathan. That was all he needed.
"You are such a son of a bi-"
"Karen, always quick to resort to name calling," Dan interrupted nastily. "Haven't we outgrown high school?"
She couldn't believe the gall of the man standing in front of her. How had she ever considered spending a life time with him? It boggled her mind. "You know what Dan, you need to get out of my house."
"Or what?"
"Or I'll shove this," she picked up a nearby spoon off the table, "into your heart."
"Violence, is this what you're teaching Lucas?" He clucked his tongue.
"You don't have any right to even mention his name," Karen hissed. "You gave that right up, along with the right to come barging into my life and demanding answers."
"Gave?" Dan narrowed his eyes and laughed darkly. "I don't ever recall ever having a choice now," he growled. "But then again, you always did have a way of spinning a wide tale, didn't you?"
"And what kind of tales are those?" asked an angry, familiar voice.
Karen and Dan spun around to see Lucas leaning against the door that had been left ajar.
"Lucas," Karen smiled painfully. "You're home early."
"Or just in time," he replied tersely, his eyes never leaving Dan as he drew closer to his mother's side.
"I guess it depends on the perspective, doesn't it, Karen?" Dan smirked.
"Get out of our house."
Lucas stepped forward, in a show of manhood, Dan supposed. "Whoa, there," he chuckled, plastering his most innocent of smiles. "We were just having a polite conversation."
"Yeah, none of your conversations are ever polite," Lucas scoffed.
"Did you ever teach your son any manners?" Dan shook his head in feigned disgust. "You know, I was just looking out for your mother's interest."
"Shut up, Dan." Karen moved forward, silently warning him to keep his mouth shut about their previous conversation.
"Te-sty!" He had hit a nerve. He glanced over at Lucas, who seemed curious about her mother's sudden outburst. "Now Karen," Dan smiled cheerfully at her, "I'll keep your secrets, if you keep mine."
"See!" He slapped Lucas on the shoulder. "Your mother and I are even in a secret club together!" he exclaimed. "So you don't even need to worry about her." Lucas shrugged his hand off of his shoulder.
"Don't bet on it."
"Karen?" Dan looked to his ex-high school sweetheart. "We share secrets, don't we?" he asked with a wink. "So many, I don't even know where to start. Why don't you start?"
All eyes were on her. Karen could see in his eyes that he had figured out that Lucas did not know about her conversations with Royal. And that dangerous flicker in his eyes, told her that he had no qualms telling all. There was no leverage this time. She was at his mercy.
"No?" Dan clapped his hands together gleefully. "Well, since your mother doesn't seem to be in the telling mood," he drawled, his eyes never leaving Karen. She was in agony, he could read the anxiety in her eyes.
"What is it?" Lucas demanded angrily. "If you've got something to say, spit it out!"
Karen bit the inside of her cheek, trying to keep herself from screaming profanities at Dan, while waiting for the ball to drop.
Her face was blanched and sallow. It had been a long time since he felt like he actually had control of any situation involving Karen. She had managed to turn up smelling like roses through their whole ordeal, while his life spun out of control. It had taken years for him to realize what he had to do to regain control of his life. And shunning his own flesh and blood had been the quickest route. Make them feel the shame and pain that he had felt the day he vowed never to lay eyes on his firstborn.
"You know what?" he breathed, smiling slightly. "I just can't divulge that kind of information. That would be bad form. What kind of person would I be, telling secrets that aren't mine to tell?"
"Or there just wasn't anything to tell," Lucas accused, glancing over at Karen. "Like always, Dan."
Karen felt her knees warble, as those words left Dan's lips. Inwardly, she let out a sigh of relief. Opening her eyes, she met Dan's dark knowing gaze and she swallowed hard. There was always a price tag attached to his moments of grace.
What price am I going to have to pay for his silence?