Disclaimers: I don't claim to own Kenshin or anyone else.
CHAPTER 27
"You go right ahead and sleep through the whole day. No, no, don't trouble yourself, I insist. You are, after all, a guest in my home."
Megumi stared at the limp body sprawled out on her couch, distaste causing her lips to purse. That idiot, she huffed angrily to herself as she gathered her purse and slipped on her high heels. I didn't even invite him over; he makes himself comfortable and takes a nap after I do the dishes from making his lunch. That moron, what does he think I do? Run a hotel? Even when in the angriest of moods she couldn't help but notice the tiny cute details about that bird brain. A glimpse back into the living room showed that his mouth was wide open. I should pour some chili powder into his trap. She shook her head but couldn't deny the slow smile that crept to her lips. God, and I even had the nerve to leave him a note to tell him when I'll be back. This is disgusting. He'd better not get used to this kind of treatment.
The model-like woman stomped out of her apartment and headed downstairs. Pausing hesitantly, Megumi looked over her surroundings upon entering the parking lot. She wasn't too sure if she was just hearing things or not. Oddly the whole area was dead silent so she must have been imagining the distinct steps that followed hers. As she quickened her pace, keeping her eyes wide and scanning around, she began to feel nervous. Even the low, grey stucco ceiling was looming much too close. Oh gosh, Megumi thought anxiously, her breaths becoming quicker, Just stop it. Underground parking isn't that bad. The ceiling is fine. You've lived here for years and has this area ever made you feel weird before? Of course not.
That's when a hand grabbed her from behind, proving her dreadfully wrong, and she let out a frightened shriek.
"Shhhh!" A deep voice tried to silence her. Megumi whirled around, her captor letting her do so, and came face to face with Enishi. He looked terrible.
"Enishi-kun?"
Without realizing it she was already taking several small steps away from him. Both his eyes were stained with red at the edges, the dark circles underneath almost looking like bruises. "Enishi, what are you doing here?"
Suspicion laced his voice and his eyes suddenly looked sharper. "What's wrong?"
Megumi's mouth opened to answer but he quickly stepped forward, forcing her to touch the cool, concrete wall. "I was just startled, that's all," she replied very calmly, smoothly. But her body was far from normal. She was still edging away, trying to make sure that he couldn't even brush against her clothes.
"Why are you doing this? Don't you know that you're all I have left?"
"Just… relax, Enishi, I'm not—"
"Kaoru and Kenshin told you some bad stories about me didn't they?"
She pretended to be confused. "What? What are you talking about?"
Inching his body closer to the paling woman, he looked straight into her face, ever so watchful for a false reaction. "You know exactly what I'm talking about. And none if it is true." Megumi blinked and swallowed before replying back. "Enishi-kun, I really, really don't know what you're talking about." Both his hands gripped her shoulders tightly and Megumi found that she could not move from her place. No matter how hard she tried she couldn't avoid looking up into his icy colored eyes. Right now they reflected much anger that had grown inside.
He thinks I'm a traitor.
"Lie to me again and I might have to do something very unpleasant. Don't make me angry, Umi-oneesan," he whispered carefully as he freed one hand from her shoulder and brushed his fingers through her hair. The name he had called her by was one that they had intimately shared. "Look Enishi-kun," she exhaled, "I don't care what you've done. Everyone makes mistakes and we can look past tha—"
"KENSHIN MADE THE MISTAKES! HE'S THE REASON WHY ONEESAN IS DEAD!" His face was threateningly up close to hers and she could feel his hot breath burn her cheeks. "Can you forgive that mistake?" he asked with insane quietness. Megumi wasn't sure how to respond back. He was teetering dangerously on the edge, ready to explode and personally she didn't want to be the one to take it. She'd always loved him like a brother but right now he was scaring her. She'd never seen him so imbalanced before and his breath reeked of many horrid things. "I'm not forgiving anyone!" she shouted insistently back, "I loved Tomoe, Enishi! She was my best friend! Do you think I'd let her put up with all that crap if I knew what was going on? I cared about her just as much as you did! I know this is hard but I'm as equally upset as you are right now." He looked away and dropped his hands. Megumi relaxed again and found herself bringing her hand to his cheek. "Why don't you come up for a bit? You can rest and I'll make you some tea. You look like hell," she added with a polite smile.
Oh my god, her mind mentally kicked her. SANO is upstairs! Megumi, you idiot!
"Sure," Enishi was saying while she stood there blankly, not moving. "You always did know how to make me feel better." The smile that curved his lips did not please her in the least bit. Usually she would have flirted back but right now her thoughts were clouded with one idiot while she had another standing in front of her. "Hey, on second thought do you maybe want to head to a restaurant and grab some lunch?"
"Nah," Enishi shook his head and started to walk towards the elevators. "I kind of feel like just relaxing right now. I haven't had any sleep. I can't sleep. All I think of is oneesan."
Pressing her fingers at her temples, Megumi silently prayed that Sano had miraculously disappeared or had fallen out of her window or something just as ludicrous. Mentally, she wasn't exactly there at the moment therefore Enishi's forewarning went unheard. "I'm going to get them both back for oneesan. Himura and Kaoru are going to bleed for what they've done." It settled comfortably inside of him to think of cruel ways to make them pay. If Enishi had known that the seed of revenge had already been planted, he might've stopped there and just watched as everything unfolded. But of course no one knew. No one had a clue.
They would not find out till it was much too late.
Nervously fiddling with her hands, Megumi stood silently in the elevator, counting the numbers that flashed red on top of the double doors. When they reached their destination, when she pushed the key inside, she closed her eyes and braced for the worst. But even that wasn't as bad as what her eyelids were shielding. Treading onwards to the living room, Enishi threw himself down on the couch and grabbed the remote. At that precise minute, Sano appeared from the hall that lead to her bedroom, clad in just a towel. In other circumstances Megumi would've yelled, admired him, yelled some more, and then stared at his fine physique all over again till her knees gave in from the splendid sight.
"Gomen, kitsune, I thought you weren't gonna be back so soon so I decided to take a—" He stopped.
Lightning struck as both men turned to each other and stared.
Hatefully.
Feeling like she was caught in between the spotlight, Megumi bit down on her bottom lip. No matter how much she begged her eyes to look away they wouldn't. A neat, thin trail of dark brown hair followed past Sano's muscled abdomen, accentuating his flat lower body, and led downwards to where Megumi blushed just to think about it. That navy blue towel that sat daringly just at the hips wasn't helping at all. Droplets of water fell from his wet body and damp hair onto the patch of carpet where he stood. Right now Megumi couldn't yell at him for that. She didn't even want to try to open her mouth. So Enishi was the first to speak.
"What is he doing here?"
"I uh… I thought that… that Sano," she stammered, "Was… was gone but he isn't. Uh no, he isn't," she finished clumsily and blinked several times. In fact he's standing by my living room in a towel that could easily be pulled off if you gave it one pathetic tug. "This is… it isn't… well I mean in the sense of Sano, you know… it's not what it appears to be. Looks like. This isn't what it looks like," she concluded and took a deep breath. If there was ever a time in her life she felt overly flustered right now would be it.
"Come again? What do you mean this isn't what it looks like? I was taking a shower while you were out the apartment. How could it look like something else?"
Fury roared inside of Megumi turning her hands into fists. "What's that supposed to mean? So if I was around you wouldn't do it? Oh." She fell back into a comprehending silence. Sano stared at her, mystified by her briefness. "What?"
"Nothing," she casually replied and crossed her arms.
"No, what?"
"I'm just not good enough to see you in a towel. That's what you were thinking and don't even TRY to deny it!" She waved her finger in his face. "Megumi," Sano started, his face deeply ashen, "That is totally not true. I never thought you'd want to ever see me in a towel, let alone using your bathroom or your Shiseido bath stuff."
When her eyes widened he took it as a not so good sign. Oh crap.
"You used my Shiseido Aromatic Bath Essence?" She nearly choked out.
"I see what's going on here," Enishi interrupted and stood up, no longer able to handle their ridiculous bickering. It was painfully plain to see that Megumi's alliance was no longer with him like he thought. She was on the other side; she was against him. With the enemies. I see that now.
"Enishi-kun," she started to say but was rudely interrupted.
"Don't fucking call me that ever again!" Enishi yelled and charged into her, shoving her up against the wall. When her eyes flinched at the pain he smiled with evil delight. Before he could say another word to her, Sano was there, knocking him aside and pulling the tall woman protectively behind him.
"I understand everything now, bitch. I know where your faith really is. It's with those fuckers, the ones that fucked me and oneesan over. Just you wait, this shit isn't finished yet and if you get in my way don't think that I will hesitate to run you over, too," he spat. Megumi could see all the muscles in Sano's back tighten and he took one step forward but she clutched onto his arm, stopping him. When he questioned her with his eyes she shook her head woefully and managed to stop the tears of frustration and hurt from spilling out. He thinks I've betrayed him. Oh Enishi-kun, you know things are never that simple. I'd never betray you, ever. If I can think this I can say it to him. He needs to hear this.
Stepping out from behind Sano's tall form, she stretched out her arm, motioning for the other man to stop. "Enishi, I'd never betray you! You should know that!"
Prickles of deja vu left her skin tingling. Many times he had shared it with her on happier, funnier occasions. Right now she was an occasion all of her own and he was mocking her spitefully. It's too late. He hates me.
Her front door slammed loudly and Megumi sank to her knees on the carpet. Sano's loose embrace did nothing to quell the feelings that were stabbing into her heart a hundred times over. All her life she had loved that boy like he was a sibling of her own. Together, when she and Tomoe were little girls back in China, they'd play house and pretend he was the baby. It had always been like that between them, but now those happy times were gone, dissolved, like Tomoe herself. And now Enishi too. You think that this is one sided, that you need me but I need you too…
This time the tears fell freely and she did nothing to hide them. Sano could only continue to hold her, wishing that she would just forget all about that jerk off.
Almost in synchronization to her thoughts, Sano's towel slipped from his body and fell to the floor. Looking into Megumi's horrifically widened eyes and realizing that she was too scared to move away in fear of seeing him in all his glory, he whispered, "Oro…"
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
"Are you ready?"
"Almost."
"Alright," Kenshin responded lightly. "If you need me I'll be in the living room." With that he closed the door quietly behind him, leaving Kaoru to finish off the details of her outfit. Not that it required anything special. She was attending a funeral after all. Plain navy blue it was and so she chose to wear it in the form of a simple looking dress.
Carefully with precision now she handled the liquid liner with the tips of her fingers and drew equal streaks on both eyes on the lids and below. Her long black hair was hanging free, straight as can be and when she headed towards the bedroom door it swayed lightly from side to side like liquid silk. Sitting on the sofa in a navy blue dress shirt and formal pants, Kenshin was staring off at a picture on the wall, lost deep in thought. I don't blame him for being so spaced out today, because today is the day that we go to see his ex-girlfriend's final resting place. Even as she thought the word she felt a weird feeling gather in her stomach. Ex-girlfriend? Is that what Tomoe is now?
No.
She'll always have a place in his heart but his love will remain the same. Do I even dare to compete with something like that? Feeling ashamed, Kaoru turned her head away, averting her eyes, unaware that a painful expression had befallen her face.
"What's wrong?"
At the sound of his voice, Kaoru instantly turned her head back and put up a false mask in place. "Mmm," she shook her head. "Nothing at all." It helped to pretend to busy herself by straightening out her perfectly ironed dress. "Are you sure?"
"Of course," Kaoru replied cheerfully, still avoiding him. The awkwardness of the situation and her feelings got the best of her. Excusing herself for a minute, Kaoru ran back to his room and leaned against the door, closing it. This isn't the time to be thinking such things. He's in love with Tomoe and he will be for a long time. How can you expect to just replace her so easily?
But they weren't a happy couple to begin with, she argued back.
How do you know that? Were you there with them every second of the day? How can you tell that much? Her conscience had a deep point. Being in public together and being alone together were two different things. Of course Kenshin and Tomoe were bound to act differently. Realizing that pinched at her internally. Why am I even bothering to stay so close to him? The past couple days I've stayed over, but for what reason?
Now she began to pace around in agitated circles.
He says he needs me but for what? I feel like I'm being used but I have no idea what for! If we were intimate it would be a different story but he's acting so… so… odd. Like we barely know each other, as if we're just room mates and I'm just HERE.
She stopped in front of the mirror and looked towards it.
What do you want him to say? His girlfriend just only died, how else do you expect the guy to act? You know what Kaoru, you're expecting way too much. Fine you've been hurt over and over and it'd be so NICE to have someone to just hold you and tell you that everything's going to be ok but Kenshin isn't going to be the one to do it. No matter how bad you want it that way he isn't going to do it. So get over it.
There.
That seemed to shut everything up that had been roaring in her head. She took a deep breath and removed her hands from surface of his dresser. As her head came back up she nearly screamed when she saw Kenshin's reflection standing there in the mirror. It wasn't him that made her want to scream, it was the fact that she didn't hear anything at all and then to suddenly see him there attired in dark clothing that made him look even more pale, staring, it freaked her out of her wits.
"You're not okay," Kenshin voice gently flowed from behind. She willed her nerves to calm down before turning to face his concern. "I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?" She tried as hard as possible to sound normal but perhaps that's where she went wrong. "I know you," he emphasized his words and took two short strides to come face to face with her. "Something is bothering you and you aren't telling me because you think it'll bug me, especially right now when we're about to say our last goodbyes to Tomoe-dono."
She didn't even try to stop her eyes from widening. She wanted to ask how he knew but he tilted his head and placed a hand on her hip. "Come on. Sit down and tell me what's on your mind." He gestured at the nicely made bed and she obliged, settling down carefully as to not crease it all. Cornered off with him alone in the room, it wasn't like she had much of a choice but to agree. "It's about us," she began, "I'm sorry if this seems totally rude because I think it does but I need to know where I stand, Kenshin. Do I really belong here with you?" She stopped but not long enough to let him answer back. "I don't think I can be here if I'm not getting your love. Call me stubborn and greedy and anything else you'd like to throw in but I need you fully, not partially. I need you," she expressed. Kenshin looked for a moment like he wanted to respond but thought twice about his answer for he looked away distantly. About to add on more, Kaoru caught herself as he started to speak.
"I do care about you. I even love you but a relationship with you isn't something I'm able to handle just yet. I want it just as bad but I know if I take this chance now it'd screw everything up for us, Kaoru." He turned to her then and clasped her hand to his lap. "There are things inside of me, memories, nightmares that have risen up and haunt me every second of everyday. When I look at you each morning I find a reason to keep breathing, to keep living my unworthy life. That's the only thing that keeps me from going insane."
Her head bowed in dismay and Kaoru couldn't find it in her heart to meet his lavender eyes anymore. "We're both being selfish. I want you but you can't give me what I want. You want me yet you can give nothing in return. There are two people involved here; me and you. It isn't just you. I can't live next to you while knowing you can't love me! It's like you're there within my grasp but each time I try to reach you I fail. I can't… I can't keep going on like this!"
There were so many things he wished he could have said to her.
"If I stay, wouldn't this be repeating what you've already been through? You cheated on Tomoe because you only needed her there for your comfort to get through your struggles."
Upon hearing her harsh accusation his head snapped up and his eyes widened menacingly. Already he knew what she was about to say next.
"Would I become the same? Would you leave me in the end?"
His hand withdrew from hers and Kaoru stood up, taking it as a sign that the conversation needed to come to a close. She had gotten the answer she had been searching for. But as she walked towards the door he yelled out from behind. "No I would not! I loved her and I would have never left her! How can you say such—" but he was cut off as she whirled around to give him a piece of her mind, a physical blow without any touch involved. "You told me yourself that she was like an anchor to you, holding you down and helping to keep your sanity. Isn't that basically what you're asking of me? You're asking me to waste my time so that you can use me and then when another comes along I'll just be tossed aside like used goods!"
"That's ENOUGH!" Kenshin bellowed out and rose quickly from where he sat. She didn't even see him when he came towards her. He moved that fast. Soon she found herself pressed up against the cool wood of the door; Kenshin's hands held her in place at sensitive pressure points near the shoulders. Quick shallow breaths jumped inside her chest and she winced when he spoke next. "I love you, damn it! Why can't you see that? I loved you since that first day and it tears me up inside so bad to see you hurting like this! I would do anything for you! If you told me to kill for you, I'd do it." When he spoke those magnificent words she could see a glimmer of insanity shine brightly in his eyes, proving his words. "If you wanted me to make love to you," he continued, his voice falling deeper almost into a whisper, "I'd do it. But I cannot commit myself right now because if I did I wouldn't be one hundred percent there for you."
She tried to break away from his firm hold but he effortlessly held her in place with his powerful arms. It was no good. Stubbornly, she held his eye and said, "I don't want to talk about this anymore. I get your point." He eyed her wearily, ignoring the warmth from her body that tempted him to get closer. "Kaoru, I truly think you do not." When she tried again to jerk away he spun her around and readjusted his hold, his firm chest acting like a block of metal when she attempted to attack him with her fists. Unaffected, he simply let her pummel it all out of her system before speaking to her again when she lapsed into a breathless state. "When I dream, I dream up all the people that I've killed. I remember each by name and exactly how they met their death in the most revolting ways." Shocked by his tone and the merciless images that spilled into her head, Kaoru leaned back against the wall. "I was an assassin, Kaoru. Can you not imagine the stuff that goes through my head?" She nodded hers but the look he gave with his frightening eyes led her to believe that he assumed otherwise. In carefully put words, he brought his face exceedingly close to hers and whispered, "You don't even know what I've done." She didn't appreciate the brashness that he regarded her with. "I think in order for you to understand I'll need tell you everything. Detail by detail," he added harshly.
Rapidly shaking her head, Kaoru tried to fight with him again. Struggling stubbornly, she managed to wedge her knees between his legs but Kenshin could read her tactics like an open book. "Stop it," he ordered. But she did not. Kenshin was forced to spin her around and toss them both onto the bed, his body spreading out and pinning her down as she let out a growl of frustration.
"No, you say?" he whispered between his closed teeth, "Well I think yes." Kenshin thrust his face into hers so that their lips were barely centimeters apart. That stopped her when she realized that if she did keep moving she would inevitable bring them to kiss. Not necessarily admitting defeat, she threw her body back down and lay limp while he continued to lie draped across her. "August sixteenth," he began to re-call, "I wake up in the morning with an extreme hangover and a beautiful bitch beside me." Kaoru bit her bottom lip and jerked her eyes away from his dynamic ones which were speckled with an unmistakable shade of copper. "I have no idea what happened the night before but the empty condom packets are evidence enough that something did go down." He never paused once when Kaoru's eyes widened hurtfully. He just stared right back at her and spoke in level tones, shrugging as if everything were cool. "I wake her up, we smoke a joint, and then she gives me head before leaving. I never see her ever again but it's the same old story with each of those hoes. Enishi drops in later; we hit the usual hang out, get pissed by eleven and proceed to head to the strip clubs. My first target is there. Enishi and I blend in real easily and we watch the cunt as he strokes the topless waitress's breasts, oblivious to his wife that's seated next to him and to the other girl straddling his lap. It's when they decide to leave that the show comes to a fitting end. We corner them and take them downtown for a long ride by the sea. Underneath the bridge on the sand is where I take my sword and cut him apart. Blood gushes out as his body pieces lay on the ground, no longer recognizable. His wife watches, gagging on her vomit as she stares at what's happening around her. Soon she's begging and promising that she'll do anything, absolutely anything to stop us from harming her.
Enishi smiles. 'Anything?' he asks. 'Anything,' she pleads again. We smile at each other as he reaches down to undo his zipper—"
"Shut up! Just shut up, shut up, shut up!" Kaoru shrieked. The fury of her emotions gave her inhuman strength to roll over and knock Kenshin off. She jumped up, standing near the table lamp, body heaving dangerously as her hands covered her ears. Echoes of unsuppressed groans and the hasty yank of zippers sounded in her ears. They refused to stop no matter how hard she screamed, her voice not even being able to drown it out. On the verge of hitting complete panic, Kaoru ran past Kenshin in a blur and locked herself inside the bathroom.
"Shit," Kenshin swore as he ran his fingers through his hair. Fuck, I didn't mean for it to turn out like this! He could hear Kaoru's uneven sobs but he really started to worry when he heard the tap go on as she tried to cover her gags.
Brilliant. You are so fucking brilliant. Couldn't have said it better myself.
The voice inside his head grinned and Kenshin silently told it to back off. It complied for the moment.
"Kaoru! Open the door!" he shouted. Since he knew how to pick the lock he did that without waiting for a response from her. He rushed inside and found her figure lying motionlessly on the cold tiles, one of her hands clutching at her stomach.
Inside the washroom closet were several small towels stacked and folded. He reached inside to fetch one, never letting his eyes leave her but he jerked as her voice startled him. Both her eyes were open and she was staring blankly at the wall, curled on her side. "Maybe I should tell you, word for word, what he did to me," she whispered coldly.
Kenshin froze. His paralysis lasted for only a second but he hurried his actions and dampened the cloth, quickly falling to her side. Carefully he wiped at her face. She remained unmoving at his tender ministrations. "I am so sorry. I was being careless, reckless. I just wanted you to understand my point." Still carrying on smoothly he wiped away all the perspiration from her face then settled back on his knees beside her. Kenshin slipped his arms beneath her and lifted her up into a sitting position. Both slender hands curled and held fast onto his shirt.
"All the lights were off. He took his time as he undressed me, examining every part of my body…" Kenshin winced and went to stop her but she casually turned her head and continued, "…leaving no skin untouched. His fingers were rough…" she trailed off distantly, shivering.
"Just… don't."
"Why not? Don't you want to hear all about it? Don't you want to know how he fucked me when I had tears in my eyes?" Using her elbows, she propped herself up and glared at him spitefully. "Since we were on the subject of Enishi, I thought it would relate quite nicely, Kenshin. Why stop now? You were on a roll. Go ahead and tell me more about him; make me remember everything hideous about that bastard and what he did to me even though I've been trying so hard to keep it out of my mind! Maybe that's why I'm being so insistent with having you to lean on. You think you're the only one that's been through shit? Think again, Himura Kenshin everyone has suffered a great deal and I did for you and because of YOU!"
The darkening lavender in his eyes reflected his troubled emotions. Very quietly and calmly he told her, "I never meant for all of this to just explode out. If you were feeling like this, why didn't you say anything?"
Kaoru pushed his hands away when he tried to hold her up again. "Maybe it was because I was trying so hard to forget!" She got up on her own, a shaky effort, but managed to lean against the sparkling white sink. Her reflection gazing back at her in the mirror offered to show just how tired she was in inside. This argument could be fought on forever endlessly and there would still be no proper outcome. "We should leave in a bit," Kaoru informed him in an ice drenched tone, brushing away her frustrations and hiding it all back. She bent forwards and started to fix her hair, brushing away at the eyeliner that had smeared down messily.
Carrying on like everything is normal. What else can you do, Kenshin came to realize. She's trying her best. It's going to be a difficult time for the both of us.
That didn't make him feel any better. Time was the only thing that would cease the throbbing of the wounds. Even then, how long could he really expect to hold onto her? Just thinking of losing her, never being able to see her again made a deep rage burn in heart. Acting on impulse, he got up and snatched her into his arms.
"I'm sorry."
"Let's not get into it again. I'm trying to forget what you said."
"I love you," he persisted.
Whirling around to face him, she answered, "You don't." Kaoru's voice was muffled by the collars of his shirt. She had been taken by surprise but obviously Kenshin didn't mean what he was saying. It was much too fast to be saying such things like this. Surely he knew better.
"I DO," he fought back and squeezed her gently. "And I'm sorry for everything."
She did not return his apology in any way. Peering into his eyes, she partially submitted with her arms moving to his shoulders. Kaoru threw her weight into him and whispered, "I don't want to fight anymore."
How that simple sentence tugged at his heartstrings. Naïve, he'd give it that much in order to be truthful, but her sweet innocence, how she looked for the best in people and situations made her who she was. It was that little trademark of hers that could change the world if everyone followed. Real life was something savagely different, sadly.
"I know that's almost impossible," she put it rather quickly upon detecting the trace of bewilderment that had appeared. "But I hate fighting. I really do." Falling to a whisper, she quietly admitted, "Especially with you."
He did not respond but instead, using his thumbs, he brushed under her eyes, cleaning away all the smeared makeup. "You should have some water. I'll get it for you," he added when she nodded. As she watched him walk out she thought quietly to herself. Okay. I can do this. WE can do this. There are so many things about him I don't know but at the same time I don't WANT to know. I'd rather not. He isn't what he used to be and I'm more than happy with him now. Take a big breath, Kaoru. It's not just you; it's you and Kenshin. We can try to do this together. I'm just going to have to live with it for awhile, as much as it hurts. We can both love each other as much as we can until he's ready to give himself fully to me. I don't think I can keep pushing him. Eventually it'd just make things worse.
She closed her eyes. His words reflected in both her mind and her ears.
'I love you…'
He says he loves me. He can still bring himself to say it. That should count for something.
When he came with the water, she took a sip and gently put the glass down. Sweeping her hands upwards, she felt for the skin that covered his face. Stubble free and baby smooth, she delighted in the fact that they glided across his cheeks almost effortlessly. The distinct scent of him filled her nose and she happily breathed it in, soaking it up inside her body as it spread like a comforting blanket.
We can do this…
"…together," Kenshin whispered inexplicably. Evenly they both leaned in and shut their eyes allowing for a kiss.
It was rich with emotion. Unlike the usual ones, the hungry ones he'd give her that'd leave her body breathless, this was filled with sensitive warmth. It burrowed itself in her body, flowing outwards and she felt as if she'd just stepped into a warm, radiating bath. Coating her with its comfortable feel, she was not aware of her own footsteps as Kenshin slowly guided them back. She barely felt the sensation of falling until her body hit the plump comforter, his one hand sitting on the joint of her hip. There they laid, side by side, holding onto each others hands and gazing, lost in each other's vivid eyes. Who would guess that minutes before we were arguing and being so rough? Goes to show you that even now, as friends, our relationship is rocky. What doesn't kill us will only make us stronger.
"Should we get going?"
"In a couple minutes," Kaoru replied with her eyes closed.
What fate awaited them, she had no idea but there wasn't a point in worrying right now. We'll figure it out when it happens.
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No one verbally commented on it but the weather could not have been poorer. Reflections of Tomoe, Kenshin thought with sadness. He watched as the rain fell outside, careless of the occasion as to why everyone was gathered around. It didn't look as if the clouds were about to break away either. Dark masses of grey loomed above coldly in the sky. In the background he could hear Megumi crying softly. Sano's arm around her did nothing to comfort the loneliness she felt inside. The other girl that sat to his right was silent. They made no physical contact; instead she let him grieve to himself. Thankful for the whole beautiful ceremony, Kenshin reminded himself to thank Megumi for all the preparations. It had been a lot of work and in his state of mind he couldn't have been the one to do it.
Inside the temple they were all seated and listening carefully to the prayer. As for the urn itself, Kenshin had seen to it that one of Tomoe's cousin's from China would take it back to her far off family. Kenshin had been sitting rather stonily when he caught movement from the corner of his eye. Distracted, he turned his head and found Kaoru hunching over slightly, clutching at her abdomen and wincing. He tried to catch her eye without distracting anyone else but she was beyond aware. It's my fault she isn't feeling well, Kenshin thought angrily. Suddenly she looked up at him then, jerking her head to the doors at the back. Kenshin was about to get up with her but she insisted that he stay by shaking her head. With his eyes alone, he told her that if she needed anything… but he was cut off again as she shook her head and walked off. The monk at the front ignored the silent tussle, but Sano was now looking over curiously.
Outside, Kaoru crossed her arms, bracing herself before she stepped into the light but cold rain.
Something about the talk with Kenshin she'd had earlier did something to her nerves. It upset her stomach and made her feel sick all over again. Absently she began to wander off, thinking only of everything that happened, completely forgetting all those who were sitting back in the temple. Raindrops fell, soaking up into her hair and eagerly into the fabric of her dress. Disgusted, she looked down at her shoes and sighed. Thoroughly coated with mud, she knew that they would require a great deal of scrubbing before they could revert back to what they looked like only a couple hours ago.
A little ways ahead she sighted a tree with many cherry blossoms blooming magnificently. Drawn to the calming, peaceful area, she ran over to it, managing to jump over the biggest puddles. I hope I don't get sick, thought Kaoru. As if with precise timing she shivered in the damp fabric that stuck to her body. Over here the cool, fragrant air seemed to calm her nerves. She took several deep breaths of it, feeling it hit the bottom of her lungs before exhaling out, watching as the cold air became visible into whirling white puffs.
Something unseen flew at her foot. She'd caught a quick glance of movement and immediately her body responded by jumping back, only to find that it was a cigarette butt. However, the eerie thing was that it was still burning. The amber embers flared violently, angrily, before accepting its fate and dying in the pouring rain. Still staring down at it curiously, Kaoru failed to see the dark cloaked figure that whisked by, the ends of the ominous black material just barely swiping at her cheek much like claws.
Kaoru gasped at the unexpected, invisible touch. Frozen air currents sucked into her body and she erupted with violent coughs. When she spun on the spot, staring out for the culprit, the only things that met her eyes were the lonely gravestones that stood quietly looking as innocent as they could be. It seemed as if suddenly the fog had thickened which was nearly impossible. It'd only been seconds but a thick, mist like feeling cloud had spread across the graveyard, swallowing everything within it. Taking one step at a time, she called for Kenshin. Her only reply was her own; her voice had echoed. And maybe you're just psychotically imagining everything. Did you think about that? Shaking her confused clogged head, Kaoru looked to the ground, searching for that piece of evidence. Barely even her own two feet were visible now.
"I'm sure Himura is getting worried about you."
The careless sounding voice flowed easily through the rain, and it was coming from near the big blossoming tree. Kaoru hesitantly looked towards the once welcoming, wielding branches but now they seemed to spread out menacingly looking awfully like claws. "Who," she began to whisper but stopped shortly as a dark figure emerged from the mist, growing bigger and darker with each approaching step. Even as the person approached, Kaoru willed herself to move but her feet stood planted into the ground, unable to react. You idiot! Move! But to no avail, she could do nothing except wait and watch. Each passing second caused her heart to thud violently inside her chest.
"I'm surprised he let you out of his sight."
She knew of that voice. How could she ever forget it?
Finally his face came into visible view. Much dismay spread through her feelings and almost instantly panic corroded through her nerves.
Before her, Enishi plainly stood.
Seeing him with her own two eyes was like a shock to her senses. Draped around his broad shoulders and neck was a thick, comfortable looking cape that covered his back. Underneath he was wearing a white and blue pant suit that looked more of a fighting uniform than anything else. The shock of white hair which had been dampened by the rain almost looked as if it had a grayish lavender tint to it. Much like his un-shaded eyes and those were fixed appropriately on her, looking down at her with an unreadable expression. Both arms crossed around herself to keep some warmth, she stood her ground and bravely questioned, "What are you doing here?"
Enishi only smiled at first but then amused himself by responding. "It's my sister's funeral. Why wouldn't I be present?"
True enough, Kaoru thought, but if that was really it, shouldn't you be inside with the rest of us instead of loitering around the temple grounds?
"Oneesan isn't happy." Enishi's comment broke through her thoughts, his head tilting back to examine the dreadfully darkened sky.
"I bet she isn't," Kaoru agreed.
Quickly he glanced back at her, surprised.
"Look at everything you've done to everyone. Can you honestly say that she'd be happy?"
They still stood safely apart from each other. Kaoru wanted to keep it that way. Treading on the certain subject at hand would more than likely hit a nerve in him but for some reason she didn't feel as afraid anymore. Perhaps it was her stupidity or the nature of her feelings but seeing him in person did not make her ill. Instead, she felt some sort of false-like bravery telling her to speak to him. It wasn't an impulse of trying to change him; she just had this feeling that he would be in a more open state of mind considering their grounds. Right now he was eyeing her darkly; his lips were set tightly straight.
Emotionless.
That's what he looks like right now. But to her surprise she found that he wasn't replying, or even attempting to. Is it because he knows that I am right? Would it be alright if I kept up with my speech or would it anger him?
She cleared her throat while rubbing her hands up and down her arms, trying to spark up some heat into her numb limbs. "I honestly don't think you were that bad in the beginning. Look at us all, Enishi. I've had a hard life, so has Kenshin and Sano as well. Tomoe was not alone, she had you, so why did you do the things you did? Did you think you were alone with your anguish?"
Enishi jerked forward, his cape softly trailing behind.
"I do whatever the hell I want an—"
"And because of that," Kaoru cut in, "Everyone has to suffer. Do you even know who Tomoe's killer was?"
His face fell at her words.
"You know?" He questioned her sharply and thrust a finger accusingly.
"Of course I know," Kaoru responded. Her nose was starting to feel like it was stiff frozen and that it had broken off. If it was running, she wasn't able to tell because of all the rain that was washing down her face. "And you know him, too. Someone who was related to you."
Something inside of Enishi snapped and she watched as his eyes widened. But she couldn't find herself to stop. No, she wanted him to hear all of it. He deserved the harsh truth. Everything. "He wanted my help to break into my parent's company in order to kill Yamoichi Kumi. Incidentally, this man knew all of her affair and knew that Tomoe had also been told. Didn't you make a connection at all? Didn't you see that all of the women that were being killed on the news were friends of Kumi's? Weren't they also friends with Tomoe?" In front of her, Enishi looked bewildered and lost with all this new information he was hearing. No longer was he staring at her, but instead shifting his head back and forth, eyes staring straight at the brown earth. Compelling questions pounded his mind but at the same time he didn't want to speak. Especially to her. Without another word Kaoru began to walk away hastily. Enishi followed. Catching up easily, he clamped his hand onto her shoulder to which she stopped in mid-pace.
"And so now you think after saying all of that that I'll just let you run off?"
Without looking over her shoulder she said back, "Actually, no. For your information I can't tolerate the rain anymore."
Still staying closely behind her hunched figure he realized that she was heading straight for the pagoda structure up ahead. It would provide well enough shelter from the rain. As Kaoru walked up the pavement, a trail of water fell from her clothes. She started to wring the ends of her dress out but let go of the soaking wet material as soon as Enishi stepped inside and stalked towards her.
After praying to the gods, asking for them to be on her side when she spoke of the climatic truth, she bit her bottom lip and looked up to Enishi's anticipating, emotion stricken face.
"Satoshi Yamoichi…" Hearing the name, the way it slithered off her lips into a whisper made her unconsciously stop. Head drooped low, she let her eyes close. At the touch of Enishi's hand, they jerked back open as he put pressure and held her back against the wall, but not harshly. "Tell me," he demanded in a whisper, bringing his face close to hers. Kaoru nodded gravely but he did not let go so easily.
"We made a deal with one another."
"You made a deal with the man that killed oneesan! Our brother-in-law!" Brute force pinched at her shoulders and Kaoru flinched.
God, I was such a fool to have honestly thought that I could have talked to him after everything. Why am I so naïve? Is it because he's the first guy I've ever had sex with? Is there some disgusting emotional bond that I can't see? Even just imagining that that was the case, it made her sick to her stomach. This man, he was vile. He was evil. But when he let go, obviously realizing for once that his actions were wrong, she wistfully thought, he's still human. "Go on," he ordered tonelessly, ignoring his earlier impulse and the wrongness of it.
"He proposed an idea just like you had. How convenient of you to tell Kumi to take over my company," she spat out. "And he knew what happened between me and you." Before Enishi could burst out a question she quickly put in, "Don't ask me how. We can only assume that he was watching us. That's what he said as well anyways. He proposed an offer to me; if I helped him get inside my parent's head office he'd do something back in return. He'd already promised that it wasn't for the money," but before she could carry on she found Enishi's lips twisting and he laughed malevolently. "You took his word? You believed him when he said it wasn't for the money?"
She wanted to sigh but instead took a breath and mentally started over again, "Enishi, you're an idiot to even ask. You've used my stupidity against me several times. Do you really need to ask something like that?"
He smiled. "True."
You'll be wiping that smile off of your face with what you hear next, she inwardly thought. Aloud she spoke, "The deal was as follows: I get him inside, watchful of all the cameras and security crew. He does whatever and I'd leave before whatever he did, making sure to not be seen or caught. In return he was going to kill you."
The smile on his face dropped, as did his hands. An eyebrow shifted up and he turned his face away, smirking to himself. Smugly, he said, "You really think he have taken me on?"
"I don't know. I had no idea you were involved with the Yakuza but that should have been a dead give away. What normal person has over twenty weapons in their bedroom, all sharpened and ready to go?"
"You know, that's why I like you. You're just so stupid. You make everything so easy."
Feeling disgusted with his words, Kaoru turned away. Enishi gave a false look of disappointment which she ignored. It was her in fact that had the upper hand. That smirk of a smile was going to be wiped off his lips. Kaoru narrowed her eyes and informed him of the last detail.
"That man that you would have underestimated is the one that in turn killed your sister. Just like you, he had some sick perversion that all women were filth. You're heading down that same road."
Lightning cracked in the sky, whipping through the clouds and Kaoru jumped in surprise. The second bolt illuminated Enishi's face, lighting his icy colored eyes, giving him an eerie look.
"Where the fuck is Yamoichi now?" he growled.
Kaoru looked back up to the ominous sky and then hesitantly to the man that stood opposed to her. "Don't even think about lying to me," he threatened and positioned himself so that she had no where to run but only to back up against the wall once again. Even before her lips parted to tell him of the answer, a sense of foreboding cast a shadow in his mind.
"He's dead."
"How?" he demanded to know.
Softly, she whispered, "Kenshin."
With careful precise steps, he closed the distance between them, leaning in so that she could feel the rush of air from his angry breath. Mimicking her worried tone, he whispered back, eyes widely spread open, "And where is your savior now?"
It's official; you now CANNOT do individual responses to your readers in your story. The site has a new way to do it so check out the index page. That was seriously my favorite part of writing, though.
Thank you to all those who reviewed my last chapter. You know who you all are and the reviews that come after this chapter will be responded using their new system. If you had any questions that I obviously can't answer now in this just ask them in your next review. I love each and every one of your reviews/comments so please do keep them coming. It's my inspiration, honestly.
Thanks you everyone and take care!