Chapter 7

Author's note: Oh, man, it has been too long! I am so sorry, my computer crashed for a very long time, right after I went out of the country! But I promise, now that it's up, I'll update faster. One thing, "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" is a song by a singer called Meatloaf. He's awesome too. Enjoy and R&R!

One hour later, Goemon walked into the hideout and sat down at the table where Lupin and Jigen were playing cards. Jigen had returned just a little while before Goemon, holding a plethora of stolen alcohol and saying "I'll be damned if I'm raising a teenager sober." Although Lupin did see Jigen's point, he resolved to try to set a good example for his little sister and not drink excessively, at least until the trial mission was over. He also decided to tell Lealah to stay away from Jigen when he wasn't sober, for the mere fact that Jigen was one mean drunk when he really got going. Lupin, on the other hand, was a horny drunk, another reason he was going to stop till they had all gotten used to each other.

"Yo, Goemon." Jigen greeted him, not looking up from his cards.

"Where's Lealah?" Lupin asked, sliding two cards across the table to Jigen.

"I cannot teach her," Goemon replied, ignoring Lupin's question.

"Why not?" Lupin asked. Then, to Jigen, "I fold, I've got your sex life in the form of a poker hand."

"Like yours is any better," he mumbled. "Full house. Pay up."

"What the hell?! How the hell do you keep doing that?!"

"I'm lucky, now pay up. Deal was you pay if I get a full house, even if you fold." Lupin begrudgingly removed his red blazer and threw it in the general direction of Jigen's face.

"What do you want with Lupin's jacket?" Goemon asked him.

"Ah, I'll give it back after we're done. It's just the fact I won it off him," Jigen explained. "So, why couldn't you teach her?" Just after he said it, Lealah stumbled through the door, cut and bleeding, clothes shredded, and plopped down in the chair beside Lupin.

"Oh my god, Lealah! What happened?" he yelled, jumping up. "Did Goemon do that to you?!"

"Uhhhh...he did this one," she said tiredly, pointing to a slash in her shirt near her shoulder.

"That one isn't even bleeding! Who did all the rest?"

"Me. I'm not very good with a sword. In fact, Goemon forbid me from ever touching his sword again. He said I was a danger to myself and others," she responded to her brother.

"That is why I could not teach her," Goemon voiced, eyes closed.

"I'm gonna get changed," Lealah groaned, trudging off to her room. Once in her room, she flopped down on the bed and just lay there for a moment, resting. After a little while, she got up, found some spray-on bactine in the adjoining bathroom, and got to work cleaning her wounds.

In the living room, Lupin and Jigen had given up on their poker game, and Lupin was now watching TV, while Jigen napped on the couch, hat pushed down over his eyes.

"Hey, Lupin?" The thief jumped a little.

"Crap, Man! Don't scare me like that! I never can tell whether you're asleep or not! What?" Jigen smirked, then became sober again.

"You know, Lealah saw some of and understood what Pops and that broad were doing. Maybe you should give her The Talk. You think those people you left her with gave it to her?"

"Hm. I don't know. Well, if anyone gives her The Talk, it should be you. You act more like a father to her anyway."

"Like hell! You're her brother, you should do it! And I'm not old enough to be her father!" he yelled back, sitting up.

"Hey, you're more feminine than me, you should do it! And yes you are, you would just have to have a really early start!"

"I'm more feminine than you my ASS!"

"You are too, your hair's longer than mine!"

"My hair like Jesus wore it, hallelujah I adore it!"

"Hey, at least I don't quote 60's plays with bad rock-opera singers in them!"

"At least I can grow a beard!"

"Hey, I can, it's just really really slow!" The two men looked at each other.

"GOEMON!" they yelled in unison.

"Hey, don't diss Meatloaf!" Lealah said, stepping out of her room. "And I liked 'Hair', and I've already had The Talk. It's called Health 101."

"They give it as a class now? Damn, those Democrats have let the school systems go to hell!" Jigen said, laying back down.

"Saved your asses, didn't it? I need some food."

"Well, then, thank you, Flaming Liberals," Jigen said, lifting his hat and setting it back down far enough to where his eyes were visible. 'You know, he has nice eyes when you actually see them,' Lealah thought, opening the refrigerator and looking over at him.

"Hey, Kuroji, what turned you so conservative?"

"When the world works the way you want it to now, you don't really want government stepping in and screwing things up," he mumbled.

"You're still letting her call you that?" Lupin asked, eyebrows raised. "What if I just told you that it meant 'Man in Black' to trick you and it really means 'shit-head' or something?"

"For one thing, I looked it up and for once you didn't lie. Another thing is she doesn't seem like the type that would bite the hand that fed her, and it's a lot better that 'Ji-Ji'. At least she doesn't make me sound like a damn poodle." Lealah laughed.

"Hey, that's not much better than Lea-Lea! Remember, you used to call me that, Arsène? I used to hate that too."

"Yeah, whatever, Lea-Lea." She rolled her eyes.

"And I was gonna offer to get you something while I was here."

"And now?"

"Nope. Hey, Jigen, need anything?" He smirked at Lupin.

"Sure, a Coke please, Kid," he told her, emphasizing the word "Kid".

"I'd be more than happy to, Kuroji," she returned.

Goemon watched this banter with great interest from the balcony, unbeknownst to the others, storing away the conversation in his brain for later use.

"Hey Jigen," Lupin said, throwing a couch pillow at Lealah. "You might want to give her your lessons first. I'm going to teach her Stage 2 handcuff escaping for mine."

"Ooh, yeah, I guess so. She won't be able to shoot a gun for a week after those lessons." Lealah looked from Lupin to Jigen, then back to Lupin again.

"What's Stage 2 handcuff escaping?" Lupin smiled evilly.

"You'll see. How 'bout it, Jigen?"

"Ok. Let's go, Kid." He stood up and began walking out of the door. "Oh, yeah, almost forgot. Lupin, buddy, the gun?" Lupin looked at him with a spacey expression on his face.

"OH, the gun! Right! Here Lea," he said, handing her a Walther.

"This isn't yours, is it?" she asked, cautiously. He grinned at her.

"I'm never stupid twice. It's a new one. Now get lost!" Jigen led her to the same clearing they had used the previous day.

"Today we're just practicing. I won't teach you anything new until your wrist stops hurting after Lupin's lesson." This worried Lealah even more.

"Um, Jigen? What is Lupin's lesson gonna be?" she asked him. He shook his head.

"Nope, he wants it to be a surprise. All Lupins could do it, according to him, so you don't have to worry or anything."

"Keyword: Lupin, not Lealah. You're just like everyone else," she muttered, then fired off two shots.

"Huh?" She shot twice more.

"Everyone expects me to live up to the Lupin name, but what they don't get is that they are judging by Arsène Lupin, Arsène Lupin II, and Arsène Lupin III only. If they judge me by Lealah Lupin and Lealah Lupin II, I'm destined to fail. In reality, I'm expected in the very least to do something no one in our family has ever done before, to be someone I'm not. It's heavy pressure."

"Who expects you to do all of this? No one knows about you."

"You, Goemon, Fujiko, Arsène, Zenigata when he finds out who I am, my foster parents, my brothers friends in France, everyone who knows me! I'M NOT LUPIN!" she yelled at no one in particular. "Not the Lupin, anyway." She aimed at a can and shot it off the table to relieve some of the anger.

"I don't know what the others expect from you, but I admit, you're right about me. You're right about it not being fair, too. You aren't your brother, and you are the first of your family, sort of, and no one should think other wise. But what if you end up being some thing new? Better than him?"

"Fat chance," she returned, firing again.

"You already shoot better than he does," he said, nodding to the table. There were no cans left on it. Lealah's mouth fell open.

"But...but I wasn't even thinking about..."

"That's just it. Don't think; do. So what if you're not a master of disguise, or a world famous lockpick, or a renowned escape artist? You just shot 6 out of 6 your second time ever holding a pistol. That's pretty damn good if you ask me. And believe me; I know about guns." She looked from the table to the gun in her hand, then up to him.

"Jigen...thanks." He smiled at her.

"It's no big deal. By the way, you have crappy self-esteem." She rolled her eyes.

"You have crappy people skills."

"Proud of it," he said, grinning. "Come on, lesson over. Don't worry, Lupin's lesson isn't as bad as we're making it out to be."

"Arsène, what is the lesson? I have been wetting myself all day trying to figure it out." He grinned evilly. With as much medical background as she had come to acquire, he knew she wasn't going to like this.

"Well, say the handcuffs are too small for you, like these," He slapped some on his own wrists. "And no matter how hard you try, you can't get them off." He demonstrated.

"Yeah," she said, tensing.

"There is a way to make it out of these. You do it like this." Arsène Lupin III then grabbed his own wrist, dislocated it with a sickening pop, pulled it out of the cuff, and relocated it with another pop. Lealah stared, looking very green around the gills.

"I think I'm gonna be sick," she said, covering her mouth.

"Now, my dear sister, it's your turn. Here, I'll help." He grabbed her wrist and popped it out of place. Her scream was heard by Goemon inside the apartment building, with all the windows closed.

"Arsène! I can't move my hand! Oh, God, it hurts!"

"Oh, quit being such a baby. Here, I'll show you how to put it back." Her next scream woke Jigen up, causing him to shoot out a window.

As soon as I can feel my hand, I'm using it to strangle you!" she yelled at him. He tried to hide a laugh.

"It'll stop hurting so much when you get used to it."

"I swear you're gonna have Carpal Tunnel by the time your 40," she muttered under her breath. "So, what, you just want me to keep doing that till it doesn't hurt anymore?"

"Yep. Well, at least for an hour each day till it stops hurting. Each hand too. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a date." He straightened his jacket and turned to go.

"Wait! Arsène..." She was torn. Lealah didn't want to hold her brother back, but it had been 9 years since she'd seen him.

"Huh? What's up?" She cast her face downward.

"Never mind. Have fun. Who's it with?" He grinned in his arrogant way.

"Fujiko. See ya, Lealah." She sat down in the grass and began practicing.

Lealah walked back into the building in an hour, alone. Her wrists hurt like hell, but being alone hurt more. She had thought that after Arsène had come and gotten her, they could go back to the way things were before, pick up where they left off. Apparently not. When she got to the door, she knocked with her head 3 times. Jigen answered.

"Sorry, we don't want any," he said, with a reproachful glance.

"Funny," she spat. She was very pissed. "Hey, why is the window broken?"

"Goemon threw a kettle. So, wrists hurt?" He changed the subject very quickly.

"Yes. Very much bad."

"Come. I will wrap your wrists." Goemon told her.

"Uh, thanks," Lealah responded. She followed him into his room, where he had bandages waiting. She sat down and offered him her arms.

"So," Goemon said. "You and Jigen seem to be getting along very well. Not many people can do that."

"How come?" She asked, wincing.

"Jigen has a very closed personality. A very small number of people know him well as we do. Perhaps he just thought that if you are living with us now, he should try to get along." Just a test, he thought, before I bring it up. Her face fell.

"Do you really think that's the only reason? I mean, he was pretty open when I first met him." She sucked in a deep breath to beat the pain. Goemon stopped to look at her.

"First met him?" he asked.

"Long time ago, in a park in America. I was ...let's see, I was young...he thought I was 3, but I was small for my age, so I was...five! Yeah, the year before Arsène abando-left." Goemon's mind-ears perked in his head, but he said nothing. He silently decided to ask Jigen about it later.

"There, that should do. Try not to move much." They both sat back.

"You know, Goemon, you're really nice to talk to. You should talk more often." She told him. He let a rare smile pass his lips. A door slammed. "What was that?" she asked, mostly to herself.

"Jigen left." She was shocked. "The scent of gunpowder is no longer as strong." Goemon had heard all he needed. Now, he would ask.

"Lealah, I'm going to ask you something. I want you not to answer right away, not to yell, and consider very carefully before answering it." She nodded. It was obviously something to do with her loyalty of something that would be a deciding factor on whether or not she stayed.

"Lealah...do you have feelings for Jigen?"

She was taken aback. "Of course not!"

"Lealah, I asked you to consider carefully. I'm not asking to anger you." So she stopped for a moment and thought.

"No...maybe...I don't know. No one has ever treated me like he does, as an equal. My friends in America were nice, but they called me 'Dictionary Girl'." She stopped and let out a sardonic laugh. "I guess so. I know nothing would ever come of it, but still...ever had a crush on a teacher? It's like that."

"Well, he does care about you. Not romantically, but he has opened to you." They sat in silence.

"Hey Goemon? Don't tell him or Arsène, please?" He turned to look her in the eyes.

"I on my honor as a samurai," He said. She grinned. It felt good to get these things off her chest, so to speak.

"Thanks." She walked out, whistling "Paradise by the Dashboard Light."