Your Family In a Nutshell by Ane Berentsen
At Richard and Emily's. Emily is in the hallway, dialing a number on the phone.
At Lorelai's. Lorelai is eating breakfast when the phone starts to ring.
LORELAI: Hello?
EMILY: Lorelai, thank goodness. I've gone into labor, and I can't get a hold of your father, he's not at the office!
LORELAI: Oops, having a baby and stood up by the father, not good. Have you tried his cell phone?
EMILY: He's left it at home, of course. He had to forget it today of all days. I need you to drive me to the hospital.
LORELAI: Why don't you call an ambulance?
EMILY: Lorelai Gilmore, get over here at once!
LORELAI (Fakes a childish voice): Oh, Mum, can't I stay out for just a little bit longer?
EMILY: LORELAI!
LORELAI: OK, OK, I'll be right there.
They both hang up.
INTRO: WHERE YOU LEAD
Lorelai dials a new number while getting her jacket and her purse.
In Rory's room at Yale, Rory is just finishing putting her clothes on when her cell phone starts ringing.
RORY: Hello?
LORELAI: Hi, it's me. Look, I need your help.
RORY: Always at service, what's up?
LORELAI: Grandma's gone into labor.
RORY (Shocked): Really?
LORELAI: The problem is, she can't find Grandpa; he left his cell at home, so if you could please go to the golf club or to some of those diners around his office, see if you can find him?
RORY: OK, I can skip a few lectures, it will work out. I take it you will go over to Grandma's?
LORELAI: Yes, I get to do all the fun work. See ya.
RORY: Later.
At Richard and Emily's. Lorelai drives up to the house, Emily is waiting for her outside. Lorelai helps her mother get into the car, then she gets in herself and drives away.
LORELAI: How's it going?
EMILY (Obviously in a lot of pain): Not too good, these contractions are killing me.
LORELAI: Are you sure you wanna' go to St. Clarence's? It's pretty far...
EMILY: Of course I am sure, it's the best hospital in the area.
LORELAI: OK, it's you who's gonna' have to hold it in. No babies in my car, I've just cleaned it.
EMILY: If this is what the inside of your car looks like when it's clean, then I don't ever want to get into it when it's dirty...
At the golf course. Richard and a few other men are playing, Rory comes running.
RORY: Grandpa, I have to talk to you!
Richard comes over to her.
RICHARD: What is it, Rory, what are you doing here?
RORY (Catches her breath): It's the baby. It's coming.
RICHARD: What? Now? Already? But it's not Friday.
RORY: Well, apparently the baby can't tell time yet. Let's go! (To the other men) I'm sorry, guys, I'm gonna' have to borrow him for a while.
They both run to the parking lot.
In the car. Emily is having a contraction. As the pains disappear, she is relieved.
EMILY: Phew, that was a hard one. I wonder how little time I have before it kicks in again.
LORELAI: I've gotta' hand it to you, Mum, you are always so optimistic!
PauseLORELAI: Mum... I was wondering...no, never mind.
EMILY: What?
LORELAI: Forget it, I don't want to upset you right now.
EMILY: I haven't got the energy to get upset, this is a golden opportunity for you to say whatever you want.
LORELAI: I was just wondering, are you looking forward to having this baby? I mean, you've told us you're looking forward to not being pregnant anymore, but do you look forward to...you know...the rest?
EMILY: You're right, I would have been very upset if I could. That's a horrible, horrible question!
LORELAI: Well...I just...you never actually said you were looking forward to it!
EMILY (Calms a bit): Of course I am. I'm looking forward to holding a baby in my arms again, witnessing the first smile, hearing some laughter in the house again. I'm looking forward to not being left alone every morning, not having to entertain myself every day. I'm looking forward to tucking the baby in at night, to having it crawling into my bed in the morning. (Has another contraction) But most of all, I'm looking forward to getting this over with!
LORELAI: Look, Mum, we're never gonna' make it to St. Clarence's. It's too far away.
EMILY (Whining): What do you suggest we do?
LORELAI: Look, there's a sign that says "Doctor" over there. Let's check it out.
EMILY: I don't believe this...I have a whole crew of top-educated doctors and nurses waiting for me at the hospital, but I'm giving birth at a doctor's office in the middle of nowhere!
Inside the building. Lorelai is helping Emily walk in. A young doctor is sitting in the reception, juggling three pencils. He drops all three of them on the floor and gets up when Lorelai and Emily enter. Emily is so lost in the pains that she is unable to communicate.
LORELAI (Talking really fast): Hi, I'm Lorelai Gilmore, this is my mother Emily Gilmore, and believe it or not, she's having a baby. Yes, I know it's really weird, but we don't have time to discuss that right now. Bottom line is: We need your help!
The doctor puts out a chair for Emily, Lorelai helps her sit down.
DOCTOR: Look, I'd be happy to call for an ambulance...
LORELAI (Interrupts): Can't you see there's no time for that? She doesn't normally act like this, you know...
DOCTOR:But... I'm alone here today, and I've never delivered any babies before in my life!
LORELAI: Well, there's a first time for everything. Tomorrow, you are an official delivery guy!
DOCTOR (Looks at Emily): More like in half an hour...
He helps Emily get up and directs her and Lorelai towards a door. In the doctor's office. Lorelai is dialing a number on the cell phone, while the doctor is helping Emily lie down on the table (Not one of those with hoops).
In Rory's car. Rory is driving; Richard is sitting next to her. Rory answers her cell phone.
RORY: Hello?
LORELAI: Hey hun, it's me. Any luck with Grandpa?
RORY: I've found him. He's here with me in the car. But we're still about an hour away from St. Clarence's.
LORELAI: Forget about the hospital, we had to stop at a doctor's office!
RORY: Seriously?
LORELAI: Aha, we're on...um...Apple Tree Road, in some place called Twinsburg. Ask Grandpa if he knows were it is.
RORY (To Richard): They had to stop in Twinsburg, have you got any idea where it is?
RICHARD: Twinsburg? That's like ten minutes from here...but why did they...
RORY (Interrupts): He says we'll be there in ten minutes.
LORELAI: Well, I say you'll be here in five. Drive like it's a matter of life and death. You can't leave me alone here!
RORY: Will do. See ya.
LORELAI: Don't forget to buckle up!
They both hang up.
RICHARD: Why are we going to Twinsburg?
RORY: They couldn't make it any longer, the baby's coming now! It's like I said, it can't tell time yet.
RICHARD: I can't believe it!
RORY: Don't worry, it will learn eventually.
Minutes later. The doctor works at Emily's feet, Lorelai mops her face with a towel. Emily is still not able to communicate.
DOCTOR: OK, Emily, a few minutes of rest now, before the last bit of hard work.
Rory and Richard come running through the door.
RORY: We're here!
RICHARD: Emily!
Lorelai runs towards them and literally pulls Rory with her out in the hallway, closes the door behind them and presses her ear up against it. Rory is confused at first, but does the same thing.
DOCTOR: Are you the baby's father?
RICHARD: Um...yes. Richard Gilmore.
DOCTOR: Good. If you would just stand over here by me...
RICHARD: No, see, um...my wife and I have agreed that I do not have to be a part of this.
DOCTOR: Well, I'm sorry, but I'm gonna need your help. I need someone I can hand the baby to in case the placenta comes right afterwards. (Pulls Richard over to where he wants him and hands him a green towel.) If you could just stand here and hold this...
Richard is a bit puzzled, but he does as he is told.
DOCTOR: OK, Emily, gather up some strength here. I need you to push.
We take a quick glance at Rory and Lorelai who are both pressed up against the door, biting their fingernails. Then we go back to the inside of the room.
DOCTOR: You're doing good...one more push...
Emily pushes. Richard doesn't quite know were to look, so he decides to stare down at the floor. After a few seconds the doctor holds up the baby.
DOCTOR: It's a girl, you have another daughter!
We see Lorelai and Rory hug each other in the hallway. Emily only has enough energy to take a quick look up at the baby before she lies back down. Richard is overwhelmed.
DOCTOR: Here, you hold her for a little while...(Puts the baby in the towel in Richard's hands.) Would you like to cut the cord? (Hands Richard a pair of scissors.) Just cut right here...There you go.
The doctor goes back to Emily, his voice fades out more and more, the camera is focused on Richard and the baby.
RICHARD: Hey little girl...I'm your daddy...and you...you are my beautiful little princess. Ma petite cherie.
The doctor's voice fades in again.
DOCTOR: Good job, Emily. It's over now.
EMILY (In a thin voice): Richard, let me see her!
Richard kneels by the table so that Emily can see the baby. The doctor walks away to let them have their moment.
EMILY (Smiles): She's beautiful...
RICHARD (No longer insecure): She sure is. I would like to thank you, Emily. Thank you for doing this one more time.
Emily seems abashed and doesn't know what to say, so she changes the subject.
EMILY: So...what do you think we should name her?
RICHARD: Well, since there are so many family members named after my mother, why don't we name this one after yours?
EMILY (Surprised): Suzannah?
RICHARD: Yes. Suzannah Gilmore. Isn't it beautiful?
EMILY: Suzannah Gilmore...I like it.
Silence. Both of them are looking at Suzannah and smiling.
At the diner. Lane is serving some guests, Luke comes out of the kitchen and calls for her.
LANE: What?
LUKE: Lorelai just called. She's just had a baby sister.
LANE: Wow, that's so cool! I can't believe Rory has a new aunt!
LUKE: They didn't make it to the hospital...
LANE: What?
LUKE: But they found a doctor, everything went fine, ten fingers, ten toes, and they're on their way to the hospital right now.
LANE: A new Gilmore girl, that's not everyday-stuff.
LUKE (Pours coke into two glasses and hands one of them to Lane): Cheers to the new Gilmore girl. May she be as great as the ones we already know.
LANE: Hear, hear.
LUKE: And by the way, the mother doesn't count.
They drink their coke. Lane starts laughing when she hears Luke's final comment, coke comes out of her nose.
In a hospital room. Emily is sitting in bed with Suzannah in her arms, the rest of the family is gathered around them.
RORY: She's so cute! I can't believe I have a new aunt!
LORELAI: Auntie Suzy, huh? How does that sound.
EMILY: We're not calling her Suzy!
LORELAI: I know you're not. I'm her big sis, I can call her whatever I want.
EMILY: Lorelai, stop acting like a ten-year old!
RORY (To Suzannah): Yep, this is you family in a nutshell. Don't worry, you'll like 'em.
LORELAI: Especially your cool big sis.
RORY: Can I hold her, Grandma?
EMILY: Of course, dear. (Hands Rory the baby.)
RICHARD: She has your eyes Rory.
LORELAI: Dad, come on, you didn't get her eyes of her own? Rory's gonna need those back, you know.
RORY: Shh, I think she's tired.
Rory rocks the baby carefully back and forth. Richard puts his arm around Emily. Lorelai runs her hand down Rory's back.
The end