MORE CHURCH BELL BLUES: PART ONEBy Ane Berentsen
At Richard and Emily's; Emily is opening the front door to Rory and Lorelai.
EMILY: There you are, girls. Come in, come in!
RICHARD (Off screen): Hello girls!
LORELAI AND RORY: Hi...
They enter.
LORELAI: Mum, remind us why we're here again?
EMILY: Why, didn't Aurora tell you?
LORELAI: All I could get out of whoever she is was "Come casa Gilmore pronto!" And with all the surprises we've had from you lately, we didn't wanna' risk anything...
EMILY: You are here to help me plan Suzannah's christening!
RORY: She's being christened? When?
EMILY: Next Sunday.
LORELAI: That soon? Why, is she planning on becoming a Satanist or something?
EMILY (Ignores Lorelai's comment): We're doing it on Sunday because that's the only time the Windsor Club will be available for months.
RORY: Christening at a club?
EMILY: Yes, we're arranging a party, making a day of it.
LORELAI: Good idea, Suzannah has always been a party animal...
EMILY: Look, it would be nice if the two of you would stop asking questions or making silly comments and just listen to what I have planned. Rory, I want you to carry Suzannah and be her godmother.
RORY: Really? I'd love to!
LORELAI (Excited): What do I get to do?
EMILY: You get to be in charge of showing people to their seats.
LORELAI (Ironic): Lucky me...
They start walking towards the living room.
LORELAI: Where is Suzy, anyway?
EMILY: Suzannah is asleep upstairs. (Suzannah starts crying) Correction, she was asleep. (Raises her voice) Richard, would you get that?
RICHARD (Of screen) Sure!
Wer hear steps in the stairs before the baby stops crying.
EMILY (Pleased): He's getting better and better at that.
They sit down on the couch and in the chairs.
RORY: Have you had any luck in finding a good nanny yet?
EMILY: I'm afraid not. I'm sure we've interviewed about 20 girls, but none of them have proved trustworthy.
LORELAI: Why, what's wrong with them?
EMILY: You should have seen the one who was here yesterday; she was holding your sister as if she was a bomb! And the day before that...I'm telling you, if I hadn't tested the milk that one prepared, Suzannah's mouth would have caught on fire!
LORELAI (Mumbles): Seems like nothing is good enough for the little princess.
RORY: Well, it seems like you're well covered with Grandpa in the house.
They hear Richard singing from upstairs, his singing isn't very good. All three of them have to laugh.
EMILY: Please don't tell him when he comes back down. Apparently he doesn't know anyone can hear him.
LORELAI: Have you checked if Suzy needs a hearing aid, she can't possible sleep through that!
RORY: We should sign him up for American Idol or something...he'd make a great punch bag!
More laughter. The singing has stopped, and Richard comes down the stairs and into the living room. They try to stop laughing and act natural, with very little luck.
RICHARD: What's so funny?
EMILY: We were just talking about... (Can't think of anything)
LORELAI: ...punch bags! Yeah, that's right, punch bags! We're thinking of taking up boxing!
Lorelai, Rory and Emily burst back into laughter. Richard doesn't get it.
INTRO: WHERE YOU LEAD
At the diner, Luke is cleaning the counter when Lorelai enters. She gives him a quick kiss before she sits down on a stool.
LORELAI: Got any coffee?
LUKE: Coming right up!
LORELAI: So, I have some good and some bad news for you. The good news is we're invited to a party!
LUKE (Interrupts): How is that good news?
LORELAI: The bad news is that it's my sister's christening, so my parents will be there.
LUKE (Determined): I'm not going! If I want that kind of trouble again, I'll ask Kirk to chop my head of with a chainsaw!
LORELAI: OK, I thought you might say that...But you understand that I have to go, right?
LUKE: Of course, it's not you they have a problem with...As a matter of fact, you've seemed a lot less hostile to them lately.
LORELAI: I know, I should go get my brain checked...
LUKE: Lorelai, don't be silly. If the baby has brought you people closer together then that's great. I am definitely OK with you going!
LORELAI: Good, 'cause I'm in charge of showing people to their seats...
LUKE: Wow, you're a big girl now!
LORELAI: Apparently not as big as Rory, she gets to carry Suzy...
LUKE: Life's not fair, is it?
LORELAI (Upset): No it's not, where is my coffee?
A few days later, at the Windsor club. Lorelai and Rory arrive inLorelai's car.
LORELAI: You know that thing you suggested?
RORY: As if I've only suggested one thing in all my life!
LORELAI: That thing about asking Mum and Dad if Suzy could stay with me sometimes?
RORY: Oh, that. Yeah?
LORELAI (Excited): I'm gonna' ask them today!
RORY: Cool! If they say yes, then you and Luke can practice on her!
LORELAI: Better not tell Mum that!
They get out of the car and go inside, where they are met by a very distressed Emily and a much calmer Richard. Emily is holding Suzannah.
LORELAI: There's my favorite little sister (Gives Suzannah a peck on the cheek).
EMILY: Yes, yes, yes, enough of that. We have loads of work to do! I hired a party planner, but she turned out to be useless!
LORELAI (Mumbles): Déja vu...
EMILY: Lorelai, you come with me, I'll fill you in on the seating chart. Rory, you take Suzannah (hands Rory the baby) and go practice. Richard, would you introduce Rory to the minister?
RICHARD: He's waiting in there, come on, Rory.
LORELAI: She has to practice to say "Suzannah"? I think she knows how it's done...
Richard and Rory take off, Emily brings Lorelai into a different room and picks up some papers from a table.
EMILY: Right...if you would take a look at this...
LORELAI: Mum? Can I ask you something?
EMILY: If it doesn't require a long answer, I've got my hands full as it is.
LORELAI: OK, I don't know where to start...you know I never saw my childhood as particularly...um...joyful. You know, with all the nannies and you and dad gone all the time, and everything having to be so neat at all times...I mean, not that I was like one of those people you see on Oprah or anything...I just...anyway. (Emily's expression becomes more and more unhappy, Lorelai doesn't notice because she is staring at the floor) So I thought I would suggest to you that...If you and dad need like, a weekend off every once in a while, maybe you could bring Suzy over to my house now and then...so that we could...
EMILY (Furious): Absolutely not!
LORELAI (Surprised and scared): Why not?
EMILY: First, you tell me straight to my face that you're not happy with the way we treated you as a child, and then you are cheeky enough to suggest that you can just waltz in and take over my other child as well! I know you're capable of many things, but this?
LORELAI: Mum, I didn't mean it like that, I...
EMILY: Let me tell you something: Your father and I did everything for you! There wasn't a day that you weren't treated like the Queen of Saba!
LORELAI (Almost in tears, but defiant): Mum...
EMILY: And now you want to have Suzannah in your home too, so you can tell her what a terrible person I am behind my back. Well, guess what, unlike Rory, Suzannah is MY child, you can't tell me what to do with her. And I am certainly not planning to have her part time raised by you and you diner owner!
Lorelai turns and leaves the room. Emily follows her.
EMILY: Where are you going?
LORELAI (Shouts): Rory, we're leaving!
To Be Continued
The end