Disclaimer: Nope, still not mine
Chapter 2
Sandwiches were the breakfast that morning in the Great Hall. After a long nights sleep, Harry and Ron thought they would have a good number of them. They reached out to grab one when one of the sandwiches (the closest to Harry's hand) sprouted fangs and tried to bite his hand off.
The entire room went silent as the sandwich silently munched away at Harry's soft hand.
Then, as if by magic, the entire stock of sandwiches flew into the air, belching fire and trying to bite everyone in the hall. Several of these were happily reproducing in the corner.
Hagrid appeared to be trying to catch as many of the rogue sandwiches as possible, and was crooning to them, as he did the Skrewts.
Harry muttered to him, "What exactly was in those sandwiches anyway?"
Hagrid hastily replied, "Well the meat was definitely Fire Crab and I think they added a bit of essence of Blast-Ended Skrewt.
Harry suddenly had a very unpleasant thought, "And the vegetarian ones?"
"Well the house-elves used slug-eating lettuce, mutant pumpkins and extract of mandrake."
Harry looked over his shoulder at his mangled classmates and began to think, perhaps, joining Voldemort wasn't such a bad idea after all.
A/N
Adding more chapters soon.