TITLE: Valentine's Day Is the Devil's Holiday
AUTHOR: Sailor Billion Dollar Princess
DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything. Damnit!
RATING: Let's just say R. Keep reading, and you see why.
CONTENT: Language, Rey getting raped, and licked...What!
SPOILERS: None
"There he is, Mark! Grab him!" Big Show yelled as he and Mark Henry chased after something much smaller than them down the hall. Rey ran as fast his little legs could carry him, so the two large men don't get their hands on them. I know what you're thinking.
"What the hell did Rey got himself into this time!"
Well, just keep reading, and everything will become clear.
A few hours earlier
"Why McMahon want us do a joint Valentine's Day show! That's not cool!" complained Carlito, pulling up his pink wrestling shorts with white, and red hearts covering them.
"Oh! Shut your mouth, Carlito! I think this is kinda cool." Chris Masters told his friend as he flexed in the mirror.
Carlito opened his mouth to say something crude, but he was cut off by Booker T. "This is great! I can show my brown sugar baby how much I love her without waiting to come home to her!" he cheered, pulling a huge red heart shaped box out of his bag.
Out of no where, Rey popped up. "Chocolate!" Rey shouted, jumping for the box, but Booker T held the box of treats over his head, then he smacked Rey on top of his non mask wearing head.
"No! No chocolate for you. You're not going to mess up this Valentine's Day this year."
Rey rubbed his head, then he pouted at him. "What are you talking about? I never messed Valentine's Day!" he protested, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Oh really! Let's have a flashback real fast." responded Booker T.
"...Shit."
Flashback
"I gave Vicki, and the girls the finest chocolate in France. Vicki's is shaped like me, and the girls' are shaped like their favorite wrestlers. Think they like it?" Eddie said as he, and Booker T walked to the dressing room after their matches.
"Yeah! You pulled out all the stop this year," Booker T replied. A grin spread on his face. "I know Sharmell will enjoy that heart that's ten feet tall. I paid good money for that."
"Man, we're the best husbands in the world!"
The two friends continued to talk, until Eddie opened the door. Booker T flipped the lights on, and their smiles went into frowns as they viewed the scene in front of them.
Rey Mysterio, sitting in the middle of the floor, covered from head to toe in chocolate. From what they can tell, he was also naked.
"Higuys! Boy,canyoubelievethatsomeoneleftthesehere! Theytastesogood! Itrytostopeating,butIcan't!" he explained, then he went back to licking himself.
"REY!" Eddie shouted.
Very big eyes looked up at him. "Yes?" Then he started to shake.
"Oh my God! What the fuck you're doing!" Booker T demanded.
"Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!" Rey responded, shaking.
"...Are you going into a chocolate coma?" Eddie asked in a calmer tone.
Rey tinted his head to the side, thinking. After a while, he smiled at them. "Yes." Rey answered, then he pass out in the middle of the chocolate.
End of flashback
"I didn't know a man lick himself there." JBL commented, totally disgusted by the flashback, and the man in front of him.
Bobby Lashley scratched his head and asked, "Does this happen all the time?"
"Yes," Triple H answered him with a shake of his head in shame. "Yes, it does."
"Oh."
"The hell is wrong with you!" Kurt shouted at the short man.
"How the hell should I know!" Rey shouted back.
Everyone just stared at him.
"What? At least, I admit I'm not all there!" he continued on, pointing at his head.
"It don't matter. Just tell us how can you lick your stomach." Masters replied, rubbing his hands together.
This time, the locker room stared at him.
"I don't know you." Carlito claimed, turning away from Masters.
"Let's get ready before something stupid happens!" commanded Shawn Michaels.
"...Um...Wooo?"
"Shut up, Flair."
"Yes, sir."
The joint Valentine's Day show was a success. Everyone gave each other praise as they went to the dressing room. While everyone got in the shower, some of the wrestlers bragged, and showed each other their Valentine gifts they got for their wivies/girlfriends/ect. When Rey came out of the shower, everything stopped, all eyes on him, and they hid their things.
"Damn! I know my dick is huge for a small guy-"
"We're not looking at that!" Kane cut him off, shaking his fist at him.
"I was!" Eugene yelled, raising his hand with a huge smile.
"...Right," Rey said, staring at the man, who just waved at him. "Anyway, I got my own chocolate." He wiped the water off his hard sexy body. Taking the small towel across his chest, rubbing his hard nipples. He moved on to his baby soft face, his huge arms, then he slowly moved the towel down his tight stomach. He didn't notice nor care at his friend was standing up for attention as he dry that off...
"This is the last time we let a female write a Valentine's Day fan fic." Cena spoke. The rest just nodded in agreement.
After the tease, Rey grabbed his bag. "I'll be back." he ran into the bathroom area of the locker room. Few minutes later, he reappeared in a his wrestling gear, but something was wrong.
The mask, and pants was made of different types chocolate.
"Cool! Is that for Angie? Carlito questioned him.
"What? Are you crazy? This is for me! I don't share my chocolate with anyone. Not even her!" Rey shouted.
"Rey is a chocolate whore. He'll do anything for chocolate." Edge explained to the locker room.
"I thought that chocolate rehab would cure him, but it didn't" Matt Hardy said, sadden by what chocolate had done to his friend. Now, chocolate had claimed Rey like it claimed Jeff, but that's another story.
"Hey! That was great match we had." Big Show told Mark Henry as they finally walked out of the shower area.
"Yeah, you saw the way I thr-" Mark was saying, but stopped when he sniffed the air. "Is that chocolate?"
Big Show sniffed the air too. "Yeah," he agreed. Both pair eyes looked over at Rey. "Food!"
"Oh crap." Rey mumbled to himself, then he took off running.
And here we are now.
Rey ran, and ran. He looked over his shoulders, and cursed as he saw the big men was keeping up with him. He was so into getting away from them, he didn't notice that someone grabbed him into a room, and locking the door. Mark, and Big Show banged on the door as Rey try to catch his breath.
"Thank you."
"No problem." said a familiar female voice.
Rey looked up, and saw Stephanie McMahon standing over him with a smirk on her face. Once again, Rey was a blonde. "Thank you, Steph!" He launched himself onto her. "I was so scare! I think they would eat the chocolate, then me!"
"Aw, Rey. You're safe for now." she whispered, patting his head, and licking the milk chocolate.
Rey sighed in relief, but a question finally popped in his head. "Steph, why the room is dark?"
"Because, we want it to be safe for you." answered another female voice. The lights came on. revealing every divas in the WWE, and some female backstage workers.
Rey pushed himself away from Stephanie, backing himself to the door. "Now, you don't want to go out there." said the second female, which belonged to Trish.
"Yeah, it's dangerous out there." added Melina, licking her lips.
"Plus, you owe me since I 'risked' my life to save you," continued Stephanie, patting her stomach. "You don't want the baby to starve, do you?"
Rey started to sweat. He knew that he was in trouble again, and this time his size can't save him.
"Don't sweat, baby. You're melting the chocolate." Torrie reminded.
"So what are you going to do, Mysterio? Get attack by women or let two ugly sweaty men attack you?" asked Stephanie as she, and the gang of women moved closer to him.
"...If you guys going to eat the chocolate off my body, can you at least take it easy with the teeth? I am naked under this."
All of the women looked at each other, then back at him. "Don't worry. We're go easy." conformed Sharmell.
"Eddie, if I died from this, I want you to greet with a hug." Rey said with tears in his eyes, looking up in Heaven.
This part is not for your eyes. You know what's happening...plus I don't feel like typing the whole scene...
After the raping of Rey Mysterio, he was toss out of the room, naked...again. He looked around, and saw the men that was chasing him earlier was gone. "At least, I have my pride." he said out loud. He got up, and walked back to the locker room, not caring that people could see Jr.
One woman took a picture.
"How many times you been naked in this fan fic?" Cena questioned Rey, rubbing his temples.
"I lost count." Rey admitted, eating some chocolate...of course naked.
"Rey, just stay naked." Triple H said.
"Okay!" he agreed.
"I didn't mean it!"
"Oh...damn."
"Before I lost my mind, let's just end this story." Edge commented.
"For once, I agree with the Canadian." Kurt spoke up.
The End
The scene went black, then Matt Hardy walked to the middle of stage
Matt: Thank you for reading our Valentine's Day special. Hope you, and your love one enjoy it as much we did. But, we want to say one more thing:
Valentine's Day is the Devil's Holiday! People go crazy when it comes to chocolate! I should know! I have a brother that love chocolate so much that if you cut him, he would bleed chocolate!
Jeff (off stage): Do not! sounds of eating chocolate Oww! I cut myself with the paper! The hell! Matt, you're right! I do bled chocolate! sounds of slurping Why I feel so light headed? sound of someone passing out
Matt: I rest my case. Good night
The real End