"And we're back!" I shouted, smiling. The audience clapped hard, so my ego got pretty big at that moment. "Oh, thank you, you're a fabulous audience! I love you all!" I began blowing kisses at them. My sister ran up and shouted "ELVA!" in my ear, so I woke up again.

"Anyway," I said, "now we're really going to get this game show started! Let me introduce our fabulous contestants once again:

"Arya the elven princess!"

"Angelina and Gertrude the witches!"

"Maud the werecat!"

"Elain the wife!"

"That's unfair!" Eragon shouted, eying a very angry Horst in the front row.

"Elva, the creepy one whom I've just been informed is four years old!"

"And last but not least, Nasuada, the queen with no skills and wants to get rid of Galbatorix by selling lace!" Sorry Nasuada lovers if there are any out there, but I don't really like her. ,

"Okay, Arya, you're up first! So spin, spin, spin the wheel of misfortune!"

"Misfortune…?" Eragon said nervously.

Arya walked up to the wheel and spun it. Because she has so much upper body strength, it spun for a few hours. It finally slowed down on a picture of a purple hornet holding a gumball.

"Oh, yesssssssss! I do have to say, this was one of my favorites," I said, grinning because I like to watch them get hurt. "Okay, here's what we're doing. You guys are going to go into the forest-"

"Question: is it the Spine?" Elain asked.

"Uh…" I thought. "I don't think so…"

"Where is it then?"

"Somewhere…?" I said.

"That's not very specific."

"Tough beans to specific!" I yelled. "The point is it's a forest! Now then." I continued in a more polite way. "I've hidden several bubble gum pieces in the trees. Only one of them is bubble gum. You have to find it and blow a bubble. The rest of them are hoax pieces of bubble gum and won't do you much good."

"Wait, this is the wheel of misfortune. What the heck is the misfortune?" Arya asked, because the task sounded far too easy.

"Ah, I was getting to that. The misfortune—you will be chased by several angry purple hornets!" I laughed maniacally while shining a flashlight underneath my eyes. "The first person to get stung loses. Any questions?"

"What's bubblegum?" they all asked.

"You guys are SO funny!" I said, laughing and thinking they were joking. They exchanged confused glances, as if saying "are we supposed to know this?"

"So any other questions? None? Good luck, then!" I shouted. Suddenly, they appeared outside in a vast meadow. In front of them was a forest. Eragon, my sister, and I watched them safely in a room from a glass window.

"If Arya gets hurt, I'm going to kill you!" Eragon said angrily.

"Please, she's not going to be the only one covered in itchy, pussy red welts," I said, rolling my eyes. My sister got a security guard to take away Eragon's knife, just in case.

"Now then… release the hornets!" I shouted, throwing my fist into the air. Several purple hornets were released and glared at the contestants menacingly.

Arya, being the fastest and smartest one of the bunch, took off into the forest. Maud began hissing uncontrollably and raced off into a tree. Angelina and Gertrude tried to destroy the bees with their magic. Nasuada, Maud, Elain, and Elva are all idiots, so they ran off into the forest screaming their heads off. Well, Elva can't really help it, because she's only four, but the rest of them are stupid. Suddenly—

"Omigosh! Broken nail!" Nasuada shrieked. She started screaming. Elain rolled her eyes and began searching the trees for the bubble gum. Arya was good at this, so she found a piece of pink bubble gum.

"Yes! Score!" Arya chewed it and it electrocuted her tongue. Elva found a piece, too, and her eyebrows fell off. Maud actually found the real piece of bubblegum first, because she could smell it best.

"Well, I don't want to date Eragon anyway- OUCHY!" Arya screamed, her tongue still full of electricity. Elva cried at the loss of her eyebrows. It turned out Nasuada had been stung first, so some security guards named Bub and Earl took her away.

"Yes! Good work, getting rid of that mediocre queen, guys!" I said. Arya growled because her tongue began to resemble an electric, black slug. Gertrude and Angelina were psyched to kill more purple hornets.

"Unfortunately, folks, a commercial is coming! We'll get back to you as soon as we can, but first, a quick interview backstage with Nasuada!" I said, giving them that trademark grin.

"ELVA!" my sister screeched.

"So, Nasuada, how does it feel to be off the show?" my sister, Soledad, inquired, now that her shrieking of "Elva" had currently ended (currently, of course).

"Well, he wasn't too hot, not like his cousin. I just hope my nail is okay," Nasuada said. She burst into tears.

"There, there." Soledad patted her back. "Some of us are born losers."

Nasuada cried harder. My sister became aggravated.

"Ah, can it!" Crying. "Shut up!" Crying. "Bub! Earl! Get in here!" Bub and Earl dragged the waterlogged Nasuada away.

"My, my," I tsked. "Soledad, you might just have anger problems."

"Pssh. Tell me something I don't know," Soledad said, grinning evilly and we high-fived.

Wow, I didn't think my story would be so popular right away. Thanks to bushes283 and Arya Drottning for reviewing! You two rock!

Soledad: More, more! Give me more!
monkeybait: Don't worry, sis, you'll be in it.

Soledad: Awright!

Eragon: Will you PLEASE tell me where you put Saphira?
Soledad/monkeybait: NEVER! Mua ha ha ha ha!